Hellobee Boards

I’m sorry you are going through this. I had two miscarriages before getting pregnant with my son. There was a diagnosed reason why (uterine septum) so knowing why the losses happen did help me a little.

But still very hard. Have you tried any meditation or pregnancy affirmations ? I’m pregnant with my second and. I use the app “insight timer”. It’s free. You can search for pregnancy or birth affirmations and listen to a short meditation. It helps me to be in the moment and give myself positive messages about healthy baby and strength for pregnancy. I also take warm baths with candles almost every night to help relax.

With my first I really did not get hopeful until he was born. Which led to anxiety post partum. So I’m trying to enjoy this pregnancy differently this time around

Sending you love

@karenbme: pregnancy after loss is THE HARDEST. Find ways to distract yourself. Indulge in ways you wouldn’t before. Treat yourself. Literally anything to help pass the time.

Also chiming in just to offer support and commiseration. I completely understand how you are feeling, and I know how hard it is.

I am currently 12+3 with my second (DD is 3) after a 6ish week missed miscarriage last fall (as well as an 8ish week MMC in 2013). I found that it was somewhat of a relief to reach that 12 week mark, but now I have my NT ultrasound scheduled for this Friday (I will be 13+1) and I am terrified that there will be bad news of some sort (whether it’s no heartbeat, or a devastating chromosomal issue). Overall, I have a good feeling about this pregnancy and am optimistic about meeting this babe in November, but I suppose part of me is still feeling really guarded based on my previous losses. We have announced our pregnancy publicly so a loss now would also mean disclosing to a much larger group of people, which is something we didn’t have to do either of the last times.

I guess my “best” advice would be just to take it one day at a time, and try not to worry about lack of symptoms as a bad sign (it’s better than having symptoms that could signify an issue, right?). I also agree about treating yourself in small ways that won’t increase your anxiety about the effects on baby (I am about to have apple pie and ice cream, but I am not worried about weight gain at this point - not saying I shouldn’t be, just not focusing on it ).

Nothing. Nothing worked to reduce anxiety. I worried every single day until the end, even as I was in the hospital about to deliver that something could go wrong and they wouldn't be able to do anything in time. But as with everything, just take it a day at a time, and know that today, things are perfect and on track.
A friend of mine got a fetal doppler so that she was able to check the heartbeat whenever she got worried thatworked well after 12 weeks.

@karenbme: what about filling your time and anxious mind with doing things you won’t be able to do when baby gets here: Pre-natal yoga class? Browsing your fav bookstore? Calling a friend for a walk? Spring cleaning your house? Or if all else fails, you can always pay for a private ultrasound to get you through til your next appt

I'm sorry I had two losses before my son, one that posed some health risks for me, and I don't think I ever got over the worry. I think the pregnancy hormones made it worse too - like at random points throughout the pregnancy I would burst into tears at the thought I might lose him, and I am someone who almost never cries when not pregnant.. The fetal doppler did help, I used it twice/week until he got big enough to be constantly kicking. I will also say that with my loss later in the first trimester, I was quite sick and it made zero difference to the MS when the heartbeat stopped and I was waiting (for a week) on the D&E. I think how you feel at a particular moment has no bearing on how the pregnancy is going...:heart:

@karenbme: maybe if you're not comfortable running, taking long walks might be a better option? I found staying active helped me a lot both physically and emotionally while pregnant.

This may sound weird, but I thought of my miscarriage as a right of passage. Even still it was hard in the very beginning. I had about 8-9 days where I knew I was pregnant and the timeframe of my first early loss. I was always saying “if” to others as if that was going to shield my sadness for a second time. It was agonizing waiting until the first appointment. I’d say after the initial appointment at 8 weeks I calmed down and became less anxious and stopped testing.