do you want them back to back/close together, or spread apart?
i'm split 50/50, i want them to be close together cuz my younger bro and i are 20 months apart and super super close. but i also want each child to have their stage as a baby. and i also want to enjoy each pregnancy because i know these child rearing years will be over in the blink of an eye!
honeydew / 7811 posts
I've always wanted close and so does DH.
However, now that I have LO I feel like I'm cheating on him by even thinking about more babies!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I wanted them 20+ months apart and they are 16 months apart. Not sure about the next!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
We want them close because we are hoping they will be super close growing up. My brothers are 5-7 years older than me and they're more of a parental figure than siblings.
nectarine / 2878 posts
Mine will be about 21 months apart...I have always wanted them to be close in age. Not sure when it comes to a 3rd though.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
I always wanted kids 2 years apart and that's what they are! I wouldn't have minded anything as close as 18 months apart though.
cantaloupe / 6164 posts
I don't want to have another until Sadie is 3-4. I want her out of diapers and in preschool. She will have plenty of time as the only child, and will be able to help a little with her brother/sister. My brother is 5 years older than me and we were very close growing up, so I'm not worried about that. The third LO will be adopted, so that will happen whenever we can afford it!
pineapple / 12526 posts
Spread apart. Probably 4-5 years. I think about 4 years is ideal for me.
My brothers are 7 and 9 years older than me. Me and my middle brother are close. DH and his brother are 2 years apart and hated each other until adulthood (same deal with my brothers).
GOLD / cherry / 153 posts
Ideally, 3-4 years apart. Close enough they can be friends, enough of an age difference that there's less competition/jealousy. It will certainly make paying for daycare and college easier!
pineapple / 12566 posts
I'm about to have my 2nd. They will be 3 years apart. Logistically, I'm glad I will have an older toddler who is more autonomous.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I wanted them about 2-3 years apart, but DH wants them REALLY close. Like 1 month PP and was ready for LO #2 (no ma'am!!!). We're thinking about TTC late summer/early fall 2014. That'll put them about 1.5-2 years apart depending on when we conceive.
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
My LO isn't even 2 weeks old yet, but we're thinking 2 -2.5 years apart. They may end up being closer because we'll be TTC for #2 after #1 turns one. But being that it took over a year to get pregnant, we want to be prepared for it to take awhile.
kiwi / 566 posts
I'm not sure if we'll have a second LO. If we do, they will be at LEAST 5 years apart, as we want to build up savings, move into a house, both be in careers (we're both grad students right now) before we think about adding another little one to the mix. So likely it would be more like 6-7 years. My sister and I were 2 years apart, and although we are good friends now, we fought CONSTANTLY growing up and it was definitely hard for me to be autonomous as we always had the same friends, were in the same activities, etc. As much as I love my sister now, I don't think I'd willingly put myself in that place as a mom after my experience (though obviously I know all siblings are different!).
coconut / 8430 posts
Ideally they would be close. My younger brother and I are 3.5 years apart and we are not close at all. I think it had to do with our age gap and maturity levels/interests.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
We are aiming for 2 years apart. Not sure what it will be if we have a 3rd.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
i always wanted kids 2 years apart because my brother and i were close (14 months apart!).
for us, i think it was easier to have them 2 years apart because charlie was harder in his 3's than his 2's. but some kids are a lot easier in their 3's so it's easier to have a second child 3 years apart. whatever you decide, you just make it work!
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
We don't have much choice - I have some health and fertility issues that will get worse with time, so my doctor recommended trying again on the soon side. DD is 10 mo and I am just waiting for AF to come back - then we will be TTCing in earnest and hoping for an age gap around 2 years.
FWIW, I don't put much stock in age difference being an indicator of whether your kids will get along. It's much more of a personality thing, I think. My sister and I have never gotten along - and wouldn't regardless of age. We are just SO different.
pomelo / 5678 posts
I think my ideal would be exactly two years apart. No less! I almost want to just do the baby years together and so they can be friends.
pomegranate / 3113 posts
About 2.5-3.5 years apart. I will need a lot of not-being-pregnant time before I can even think of putting myself through this again...
grapefruit / 4819 posts
My ideal for the first two was 18-22 months apart, with a third two to three years after that. LO will be 19 months old when her sibling arrives in Feb, so we're spot on target so far.
My sister and I are 13 months apart and super close so I definitely wanted two babies close together, but I think a little bit of time to enjoy them before having my third, and final, baby would be ideal.
papaya / 10570 posts
We wanted them close in age but that decision may have been taken out of our hands. DH is on some medication that causes birth defects and he has to be off it for 6 months before we can TTC. It doesn't look as though his condition is improving as quickly as we had hoped so who knows, really, when we can think about #2. I don't mind, really. I have enough on my hands with one LO and, whatever happens, I'm sure it will work out just fine.
papaya / 10560 posts
Everyone who has told me they have their kids close have said how wonderful it is...I am so excited mine will be 17 months apart! Didn't plan it that way but glad it happened.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
2.5-3 years apart would be ideal.
I just can't imagine getting pregnant yet. I want more time with just R.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
I originally wanted at least a 3 year gap so that Wagon Jr. would be potty trained and very self-sufficient by the time I had to deal with a newborn again. Then he turned 2 and I realized that a bigger gap would probably mean they wouldn't be friends while they were kids and they might not even attend the same school ever. We ended up with a 2 year 9 month gap and it has been fantastic so far! The first 4 months were brutal, but looking back, it was very short and we survived because my mom was there for us. Yay 
grapefruit / 4649 posts
We are still trying for number 1 but it should be an interesting conversation once we finally have a baby. My husband is of the mentality of ntnp after the first is born, I would rather have a gap of about 2.5 years. Who knows how we will feel about it after the first one is actually born though.
pomegranate / 3983 posts
We wanted the first two close but now want a longer break before the next one because being pregnant plus BF has definitely taken a toll on my body.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I've wanted 2-2 1/2 years and that is still our plan. That gives us 1 1/2 years to enjoy LO in her baby + beginning toddler phase, and have her old enough to understand what is going on when new baby comes. If we have a #3, it might be more like 1 1/2- 2 years between due to my age.
cantaloupe / 6164 posts
@Smurfette: I can't imagine being pregnant again for a long, long time! I think newborns are sweet and adorable, but I don't want my own for a looong time. I loved when Sadie was tiny & cuddly, but I'm also so happy to be out of that stage.
clementine / 849 posts
Close together! I'd like our
My brother and I were 5 years apart, and I don't have any relationship with him. He's only 20, and we have completely different outlooks and things on life. I can't even tell you the last time I talked to him. My sister is 14 years younger than me - I moved out of the house when she was 4. She doesn't even remember me living there :\
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@photojane: me too!! I will just hold other people's babies when I need a fix.
clementine / 896 posts
I always wanted kids 2-3 years apart and my boys are 2.5 years apart. Growing up my sisters were a lot older than me and I hated it. I didn't want that for my kids.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
If we have a second LO they'll likely be anywhere from 3-5 years apart. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
On one hand: get to be fully immersed in each baby stage, E will be out of diapers and in preschool or kindergarten. I'm hoping to go back to work soon so I wouldn't have to worry about daycare for 2. He'd be able to help me with the baby. We'd be in a better place in a lot of ways.
On the other hand: I'd have time to recover from being so sleep deprived...18 months and I'VE only STTN twice. I'm constantly exhausted. Once I'm able to start sleeping again I might not want to start back over with a newborn. Same thing with nursing--I JUST got my body back, and I don't know how happy I'd be to share it again. If we started TTC/got pregnant right now I wouldn't remember what it was like to STTN/have my body to myself, and I think it would just be a new normal. It wouldn't be gaining something back just to lose it again.
pomegranate / 3759 posts
We always wanted them to be within 2 years apart. They will be about 18.5 months apart! If we have a third there may be a larger gap simply because I need a break and would enjoy my body back for awhile!
pear / 1769 posts
In an ideal world, back to back. I want them to be at similar life stages with each other and be able to relate to one another.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
Close together which to me meant 18-24 months apart. DS and LO#2 will be 20 months apart. My siblings and I have big age gaps which I don't like. My husband and his siblings are very close in age - 4 kids in 5-6 years, which he really liked. Plus I'm already 35 - time is ticking. I also want to get the baby phase all over with quickly!
If there is a 3rd that gap will be slightly larger!
cantaloupe / 6687 posts
I agree that age doesn't make a huge difference and it's usually personality that determines whether siblings are close. I always thought I'd want my kids around 3 years apart so they can have some common interests but also have some separation.
grapefruit / 4823 posts
We had planned on about a 2 year age gap with #1 and #2, but they are 15 months apart. IF we had a third, which we aren't planning on, we'd like the 2-3yrs younger than #2
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