I'm almost 19 weeks along, due in January. I work as a teacher so I only have two personal days, basically meaning all travel is confined to school holiday breaks (and I can't extend a holiday break, or else I'll get docked pay.)

I live in AZ, my ILs live in WI, and my family lives in CT. During my fall break in October I am flying to CT for a baby shower hosted by my mom, with about 30-40 guests expected. I will also most likely have 2 baby showers here in AZ in November, with about 15-20 people each.

Problem is, my MIL wants to host a baby shower for me too, in WI. While I totally appreciate the joy she has for this baby and her desire to celebrate, the timing just seems unworkable.

I'm not allowed to fly starting in mid November, so October's the only real option. I DON'T want to make 2 cross-country trips in October, at 25-29 weeks pregnant. We traveled all across the country for all of July (staying with them for a week) and I'm tired of travel. Furthermore, my husband and I would both have to use our personal days, which means not being able to use them when baby comes. It is also both of our first years at new workplaces and we're trying to get started on the right foot.

So we explained this to her and she seemed fine. Come to find out through SIL, she's really upset about it and supposedly we "have to make this work"... For MIL'S sake. My reaction? Oh well, she'll come to see the light. DH's reaction? We have to do this for my mom.

We invited her to my CT shower, since it's closer for her and taking off work is no big deal for her. She didn't give a clear answer but it seemed like a no.

And for more context, they're hopefully moving out here when LO is 6 mo, and she'll be caring for them full time. This is also her third grandchild, and she threw baby showers for the other 2. Lastly, we promised her that if/when we have a second LO, she'll get to host a baby shower for that one.

Is there a solution I'm not seeing? Am I being too rigid?