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First of all, I think it's incredibly rude for people to say that to you. It's your decision that you're entitled to make. We've had a lot of questions too and whenever I tell someone that we're still undecided if we'll have another they're very understanding and I haven't heard any negative backlash (at least not to my face!). Sorry you've had to deal with that.

@Mrs. Pen: I've gotten that response from several people, and I'm running out of polite responses. We are like 90% sure we are one and done, and it's really ridiculous how insistent people are that we are screwing over our kid. I've just resigned myself to saying 'we aren't sure,' or 'we are just enjoying G right now' in order to avoid the drama.

So dumb!

Ugh, I have been facing the same thing, and D just turned a year! We aren't sure yet if we're having another baby, but are leaning towards not. And man, people sure are opinionated about that! So far I've just blown them off, since we're not really sold on the one-and-done idea yet. But if that's what we settle on, I may just resort to being just as rude back to them - ask them if they're going to pay for the 2nd kid to go to daycare.

People know better than to even bring that up with me, lol.

I don't even acknowledge that noise. I just go along my merry way.

@Mrs. Pen: I usually just respond with "we are a very happy family of 3." If they press me (which happens frequently), I tell them "you are assuming that I can have another" which makes them back off pretty quickly. It is so rude and annoying! I can tolerate the initial question, but I do not forgive the unsolicited comments that follow after my initial response.

@blackbird: hahaha - GENIUS.

@blackbird: Love that!

I tell people that they don't get an opinion unless they're paying our mortgage or Montessori tuition

I am getting this from people after having two! Mainly I just tell them to shut them up, that if we had more I feel like I'd be taking away from other two financially.

@matador84: You just can't win! SMH

@Mrs. Pen: I wouldn't even answer. Honestly, that is private and annoying and none of anyone's business. Even if they are well intentioned it is not an appropriate question. Also very rude to go off on how lo needs a sibling. So, when asked, I would try to expect it so that you are not thrown off guard and feeling like you need to give an answer to them- calmly diffuse by changing the subject or come up with something to say that makes you feel okay... "well aren't you the family police," "thank you for sticking yourself in my business" (with a smile) or "thank you for trying to fix my family" or "good thing you have a crystal ball!" or "you are so right, I hadn't thought of that," or "another child, that's the answer to everything!" or "omg! Thank you for saving me from ruining my child!" But you have to find what works for you

@Mrs. Pen: yeah, unless it's like family or a close friend, it's BS. Shut your face, you have no say!!!!!!!!!!!

@Greentea: LOL, yes say that in a serious tone and it should shut them up quickly!

How about, "It's a good thing J is so great at making friends already, so we're not worried. If he was socially awkward we might have had to suck it up & live in poverty just so he could have one friend."

My parents had a 7.5 year age gap between my brother and me, and planned to be one and done for a long time. My mom said people hassled her all the time and told her it was sad/irresponsible/selfish to not give my brother a sibling. She said after a few years her standard response was she thought it was more sad/irresponsible/selfish when people had more kids than they had the time, money, or inclination to raise. That generally shut them up. lol.

My husband's standard response to things like that is to give them a big smile and say cheerfully and non-snarkily:

"Okay, well thank you for sharing."

And then leave it at that.

Usually people just shut up at that point because 1) he was being completely polite and 2) they realize they may have overstepped.

Ugh, how rude that they would even think it's okay to judge that decision! It's so personal and there are a million reasons to have just one (or more) and each one is none of their business.

@Mrs. Pen: I have a brother that just had 1 and he always tells people when you do it perfectly the first time, you don't have to do it again.

Our family is complete.

That's my go-to response. If they press, sometimes I'll joke that they can pay tuition/daycare, change diapers, etc. I've really only had a few really press and they were close family so I gave them more detail. But if people (random people at that!) were nasty to me about it, I just give some vague, blanket kids-are-expensive response and bolt lol

Yeah, i mean im an only child because my mother's health didnt allow for more children. I would never heckle somebody for more kids because you never know their story. They might desperately want more and cant, so that is incredibly painful to have yo be bothered by others like that.

I only want one for totally selfish and financial reasons. No one has given me a hard time about it, but i would definitely have an earful for them if they did.