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@Mrs. Twine: haha nice come back
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@Mrs. Twine: lol!!! I love it.
@DillonLion: I dunno... I really don't think there are that many selfish reasons to not wanting more. Even financially - that's not selfish. Sure it may be because you want to reap some rewards yourself of your income, but I don't think that's selfish. You earn it, you earn the right to enjoy it. I've heard many of your reasons and I don't think you're selfish
I mean, one of my main reasons is so that I can focus on my education and then career - so that could be perceived as selfish because it's "about me". But I don't see it as selfish. It's just what's best for me and my family. But I don't feel the need to have to justify or explain myself to others!
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@Mrs. Pen: i do have a laundry list of reasons!! Honestly the financial aspects have more to do with LO (college, leaving her an inheritance, teaching her to be smart with money, etc) over being able to spend more on myself.
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@DillonLion: and that 's what I think most of us base our decision on if financial stability is at play. Yes, while my education/career is important to me, I know that we will have a lot more to offer LO if he is the only child we have. As happy as I am to have grown up in a large family, there are things that would have been nice to have that can't happen from a large, one-income family. And that's ok, I'm not mad/bitter over it - but it's okay to want things a little differently for my LO.
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@Mrs. Pen: nicely put!
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I always say "uh, I don't think so" in a way that suggests that my first was an "accident" and that it think she's a pain. So generally people think I'm an awful parent and they generally don't press me. I couldn't care less if strangers think I'm an awful mother. I know I'm not.
As for people we know, they've stopped asking.
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@Mrs. Pen: At one point I started telling people that because of my complicated delivery my chances of death during another childbirth would be dangerously higher. It was sad that it took a lie like that to shut people up and even still that wouldn't work for everyone. Some people are just annoyingly thoughtless I think.
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One of my best friend's absentmindedly responded, "but you can't have just one. You need at least two." This was about a year ago when DD was just starting to walk. I changed the subject. But she seemed to serious.
It hasn't been brought up again since, but next time we have more than a few minutes to talk, I'll ask her why she thinks this way.
Eta: We're on the fence.
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People are so rude. If it were me I would just say something vague and hopefully throw them off...
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I don't have any kids but if we are able to have them, we only want one. We both have no desire for more than one and we are already hearing about how horrible and unfair it it. People can't ever seem to keep their mouths shut when it comes to other people's family life!
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