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@ColdToes: take a deep breath! I guess you weren't totally against the idea if you made the decision... so it will work out. For what it's worth, once I knew how hard parenting is, my reaction to getting pregnant again was a week of terror and regrets. Couldn't even tell DH. Just kept running a list of all the things I've just said goodbye to, and how much trouble I've just caused for the family, in my head. Oh, the second and third kids were definitely wanted and planned. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that it's not easy and you give things up and it takes time to process that. Especially now.

Congratulations! This is what happened to me sort of kind of a couple years ago, only my first child was less than a year old! So I think you will be great! Your little girl will be close to, if not over 5 years old. I think that sounds like amazing spacing that will hopefully make having a newborn easy. (2 under 2 was not easy) Getting pregnant was #2 was a shock, felt totally unplanned, and I was nearly embarrassed. It all works out and just be so happy and excited! The nervous feelings will go away!

I have a couple friends who announced their second (or third) pregnancies during the pandemic and they all felt a mix of emotions too. It’s a scarier time than normal to make plans and be pregnant but hopefully this will become a bright light and happy distraction. A new pregnancy, especially when somewhat unplanned or happens more quickly than expected is a little jarring! We got pregnant with both of our kids much more quickly than I expected and I was a little freaked out each time for a couple weeks.

@coldtoes: I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I'm sure part of it is shock that it happened to fast and being worried about changing up the family dynamic that you are used to. I hope you can take some time to come to terms with how you're feeling and move towards more excitement.
FWIW, it took me 3 years to convince DH to go for a second kid, and 4 miscarriages after that. So clearly, I *really* wanted a second. But once I got pregnant with a successful pregnancy, a part of me was like, holy crap, I changed my mind! I don't want this after all. Because by the time DD was born, DS was 6 years old. So we were in such a good place with his independence, time for ourselves, and just generally having fun as a family. But now that DD is here (and 1 already!), I can't imagine our family dynamic without her. She is just the best, and DH is adorable with her in a way that he wasn't with DS because he had a rough transition to parenthood the first time around.

I haven’t been in this situation at all since we had to do IVF for both our kids, but I think it is a shock when a pregnancy actually happens, whether planned or surprise. It seems so abstract and then suddenly it’s reality. This happened super fast for you! It’s ok to feel this way, and you DO have choices here. Just want to ensure you feel supported whatever you decide.

Our boys have a nearly 4 year age gap (on purpose) and I was extremely worried about going back to the newborn days for sure. Our life was easy! I had a very hard time when our first was 0-6 months so the second time around I saw a therapist while my wife was pregnant. I got some good coping strategies and I felt 1000% more ready. And the hard times did not seem as hard! Or as long and unending! I think going from 1-2 was waaaaay easier than 0-1. I knew we could get through it because we had done it before. Now they are 6 and 2 and are the light of our lives.

Maybe make a list of things that worry you and try to come up with an action plan to help?

This is a totally normal way to feel. Especially for a second kid. You know the not fun stuff. You know the stress. The life upheaval. It’s ok to feel these things. Those feelings won’t likely stick around too long once you wrap your brain around this and get to the “we can do this” point