So I have been on the fence about having a 3rd for a while (my youngest is almost 3) - we keep talking about it but couldn't make a decision either way. Well, now my period is 5 days late. I can't bring myself to take a pregnancy test but I'm never late so I assume my pregnant. The timing is not great for me job wise. I work in education. I am starting a new job in a new district in 2 weeks. My due date would be in April which means I wouldn't even make it through my first school year - which feels terrible (though I'm not a classroom teacher - I think that would be worse). Has anyone had to tell their employer right after starting a job that they are pregnant? It makes me want to crawl under a table. Please give me some advice or share your experiences! Thank you!
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@Alexandra603: I think you should go get a frer the second your kids are in bed tonight and stop agonizing over an unknown. I’m a never-late woman too, yet, I have been late a few times in my life.
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Not the exact same situation, but we found out we were pregnant with an unexpected third when my 2nd was only 8 months and I was really freaked out by having to tell people at work that I was going on mat leave AGAIN. When I go out for this baby I will only have been back at work 13 months. We decided we simply wouldn't share the news until we were good & ready (like, I hid it until 15-16 weeks). Everyone at work was super understanding and supportive. Don't freak out! By the time you go out you will have had plenty of time to make a positive impression as a hard working and high performing employee, and you don't have to tell anyone for many weeks yet, so you have time to make a great initial impression before you have to bring it up.
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@Alexandra603: both of my babies (3 years and currently 10 weeks pregnant) came to be within the first 90 days of a new job. I had to tell my last job right away because of the chemical exposure risk, and I waited until about 8 weeks with this job just because I was so sick I couldn't hide it much longer.
Both times it went over just fine, even with taking maternity leave before my first anniversary. It will be ok.
But first you need to test
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Aww. I'd also say test first, worry later
My 2nd is 2.5 and I'm due with surprise #3 in Feb
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The only thing I would be worried about is leave eligibility, because you won't be eligible for FMLA, and most paid leaves and short term disability require at least a year.
I've done it twice, although not quite as early as you did. The time I had been and my job the longest I think I actually inconvenienced my employer more, because I had more responsibility and was less fungible. Of the people I told between three pregnancies (multiple people for each pregnancy), only one failed to act totally happy.
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thank you for responding, ladies!! Your reassuring words are so helpful. I know I'm being a little irrational but I can't help but kind of freak out. I will test tonight and update back.
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Definitely test first, but I feel like most employers tend to be pretty supportive these days. Not the same, but I needed to take several weeks off for a health situation 4 months after starting my current job, and like others have said it was totally fine with my employer even on short notice and in a role that didn’t have any real back up.
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@Alexandra603: No advice but wanted to drop in and say good luck! Hope the test gives you the result you want! And either way, we’re here for you.
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I know it’s hard not to freak out, but I’m sure it’ll be just fine! We had a new teacher at our school last year who went on maternity leave a few months in. Nobody was anything but excited for her. I think people understand that life happens. Good luck!
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@Alexandra603: me! I started at a new school already pregnant (although I wasn’t pregnant when I had interviewed a few months earlier) and had to tell my principal at 11 weeks. I was really nervous to tell her, but everything worked out. It ended up that 6 teachers, including myself, were all pregnant that year!
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well, sweet ladies - I was panicking for no reason. I tested and it was negative. No idea what is going on with my cycle! I feel very relieved (maybe that's clue that I don't really want a 3rd baby? I'm so confused!)
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@Alexandra603: yay glad you got the result you wanted. It sounds more like the timing is the issue. I know how that feels especially with a new job. But the one thing I will say is that it can sometimes feel like there is never a right time. Things can always happen unexpectedly and throw off your plans so if you feel like a 3rd is right for your family don't let the new job hold you back.
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