I just found out I'm pregnant. Dh and I weren't trying at all eactually tta. But apparently he has super sperm that lived in me for a week. I just don't know... should I tell him tonight? Or should I wait until af is late in case something happens? I'm currently 11 dpo. Please help!
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We're big on communication, so I'd just tell him now. Also, if you were to lose it, you would probably be at least a little bummed, and you'd want your hubby to know why (or at least I would). But my husband and I pretty much tell each other everything, so I can't imagine not telling him (I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret I guess is what I'm saying). It will be a bit scary but you may be surprised how he reacts!
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Hey there...just wanted to offer you support. It took my husband a long time and a lot of talks (and one particularly bad argument...ugh), before he was ready to TTC. So when we were very lucky and conceived on only our second cycle trying, I was very nervous to tell him. Heart-pounding, hand-shaking, the whole nine yards. If you want to wait a day or two for the news to settle in I totally don't blame you! I actually didn't tell him until about 1.5 days after I found out because 1)we had a friend staying with us and it would have been awkward and 2) I wanted to see tests get stronger and more positive first. Good luck... Here's hoping he surprises you and us super excited like my hubby was!
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I would tell him now. We were in the same situation and I told my hubby as soon as he got home from work. I wasn't able to keep it a secret any longer!
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No way I could keep a secret that big for long. Good luck! Hope he reacts with joy!
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I would tell him now.
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Same happened to me and I was totally scared he would be upset. I told him right away and he was amazing. Very "well obviously it was meant to be if it happened against all these odds, so it will be great." I'd tell him ASAP and hope for the best!
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We also had an unplanned pregnancy (after IF treatments to get pregnant the first time, so it was a huge surprise). I had to tell him that day after work, there is no way I could hold it in!
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Tell him as soon as possible.
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I would tell him as soon as possible! I wouldn't be able to keep somethign like that in, and I would never forgive myself if I told someone before my husband.
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I would tell him now!
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Hiding it, will just make it worse, if he is going to be upset. We had an unexpected pregnancy, and I was in total shock. He reacted MUCH better than expected. Even better than me. He may surprise you.
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If you've been able to keep this private this long, I say wait til you're actually late. Congrats!
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My husband would be pretty upset if he found out I knew for several days and didn't tell him... I think you should tell him right away tonight.
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I would tell him now. Planned or unplanned, it takes two to tango. And if you weren't doing anything to actively prevent, then pregnancy is always a possibility and he should know that. Regardless, I would tell him now. I don't do well keeping things from DH and since this will affect both of us, he deserves to know right away. I'm assuming you POAS?
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I would tell him right away!
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I'd tell him right away.
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Tell him. You will need his support no matter what. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.
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When I got my first BFP DH and I also weren't trying, and I wasn't sure he'd be on board with having a child.
I told him immediately because I was also freaking out at the idea, and I was pleasantly surprised at how excited he was!
Anyway, I'd tell him ASAP.
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@missybear: Whenever you have unprotected intercourse, pregnancy is possible. I would talk to your husband.
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Tell him. I agree with @LindsayInNY, he should know that having unprotected sex can lead to a pregnancy, it doesn't matter if it was 5 days from ovulation. This affects him just as much as you, so he deserves to know when you know.
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@missybear: I would tell him now. I'm not sure about your husband, but mine would be furious if I kept that big of a secret from him.
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I would tell him now. I hope that it goes well!
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Def tell him now - like PP have mentioned even if it doesn't stick you will still need his support!
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Tell him now. We were NTNP with our first, so it was still a surprise. My husband, who wasn't yet my husband at the time, was thrilled.
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I'd tell him as soon as possible.
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Now. Even if something happens, wouldn't you want his support?
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Definitely tell him now!
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I would tell him too, I can't keep secrets from DH.
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Thanks for the input ladies! He actually got home really late from work last night so I was already asleep. Planning on telling him tonight though! This is his last crazy week at work (he is an accountant, so he definitely has a busy season) so I don't know what nights he will be home before I go to bed, but I plan on telling him asap. After seeing my frer line get a lot darker this morning, and getting a positive digital yesterday, I just feel the need to. I'm usually no good at keeping anything secret, but I'm so worried about him being upset that I keep pushing it off. Sigh. This is not how I imagined things. I'm very excited but feel bad for him, if that makes sense.
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If it were me, I'd tell him right away! Good luck!
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@missybear: Why would you feel bad for him? Don't put any blame on yourself. It's HIS sperm, is it not??
ETA: I don't mean for my comments to sound rude or anything. I just think you're being way too hard on yourself for no real reason.
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@missybear: He had unprotected sex with you. It's not like the pregnancy is somehow just your fault, he made it happen as much as you did.
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@missybear: I'm totally confused, so my apologies if I am missing something... but were you TTA in advance of TTC? TTA because it's not a good time to have a baby? It seems odd that you would be TTA but have multiple HPTs around and test on 11 DPO. What made you think you might be pregnant?
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I don't think keeping secrets in a marriage is healthy for either party so I would just tell him now. If 'something happens' before AF, wouldn't you want his support?
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@septca: I didn't even know what a "frer" was until about my 5th month TTC.
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@septca: @MrsMcD: great minds think alike
Seems like someone wasn't TTA as much as the other one was haha!
I agree with everyone OP, you've gotta tell your husband ASAP. It's not your personal thing..it's both of yours. I don't see why you've waited this long...or are sorry?
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@mrstiz: @septca: @mrsmcd: Umm, wow how lovely of you all. I had wondfos in the house because I was charting to TTA, and they came with my OPKs. I tested at 9dpo because I slept for like 14 hours and then was an emotional wreck for no apparent reason, so figured why not test since I had them. I got a squinter, and then went to the store two days later to use a frer. I only know what a frer is because I have been online on "waiting to ttc" boards. sheesh. I would never do that to my husband. I have read TCOYF cover to cover and have charted successfully for 9 months. How was I supposed to know that DH had super sperm that would live for a WEEK, when everything written about TTA says it has a slight chance of living up to 5 days? It's kind of rude to hint at someone being dishonest. I was just asking for advice in an out of the ordinary circumstance.
To everyone else, thank you so much for your advice. I really appreciate it and am telling him tonight!! Ahh how exciting/ nerve-wracking/ crazy!
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@missybear: Gosh, so sorry to have hit a nerve. Your husband is so blessed to have super sperm. I thought, from this post, that you were having nervous or unsure feelings. But I can see from your other posts and threads started on HelloBee that you are actually quite excited and so very knowledgeable about the trying to conceive process. I think I am just overall confused about what you are asking with this particular thread given your excitement in other threads. But either way, congrats and good luck!
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@missybear: My guess is you probably ovulated early. Did you test with OPKs to confirm O or temp? Regardless, it doesn't matter. My guess is your husband will be thrilled your pregnant.
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