Everyone gets the dreaded rude comments in pregnancy, but which one do you hate the most? For me, it has to be the "When are you due?" (April 18th) Then they look at my belly again and say "Oh wow, you still have a LONG way to go!" #1. It's really not that far away, considering I've been pregnant since July. #2. It makes me feel like I look way too big for how far along I am. 
And I also hate the "are you having twins" comments. Any negative body comments should pretty much be off limits! What are some of the comments you hate to hear?
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Are you having twins was my most common, and most hated comment. My baby was almost 9 pounds. My answer was always no, I'm not having twins, it's just one big baby in there. And then I'd go home and cry.
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Anything about my weight. I don't understand how its not socially acceptable to comment on people's weight when they aren't pregnant, but suddently when someone is pregnant people feel its okay to comment.
One woman at work commented on my "pouch" when I first started showing (she knew I was pregnant). I bit my toungue, but I really wanted to say: "I have a pouch because I'm growing another human. What's your excuse?"
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Aside from the body comments (wow you are so big/small whatever) I hate it when people tell me "take it easy!" Um, I work more than full time and my husband is in his residency so yeah, I still have to do all of our life and house chores. How am I supposed to take it easy? Who has time?!?!? Personal pet peeve.
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@Bluebonnet: Ugh I hate the word "pouch". Heard that more than once in the beginning.
I had a lady tell me very early (like 9 weeks) that I must be having a boy because I was getting back "chub". It took everything I had not rip her apart. Instead I cried all the way home, and then again when I was telling my husband about it.
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My sister once had a male coworker scold her for eating chocolate while she was pregnant because he claimed it wasn't healthy. I wanted to bust into her work and rip his face off when I heard that!
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I get "How are you feeling?" every. single. day. And while I know that everyone who asks means well, it gets really redundant after awhile! Besides, if I feel like crap am I really going to tell you about every ache and pain just because you sit next to me at work?! Sigh.
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@winniebee: LOL! I know, right?
I hate the "you look big for X weeks" and the "don't do that! you're pregnant!"
Um... I can still do most basic life things. In fact, I can even *gasp* go to work! -
@Mrs. Hopscotch: Hahhaha. I like. Great! I feel like I wish it was July.
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Ah yes, 'How are you feeling'? I feel like pregnancy has taken over my identity. Another question/comment I don't like is 'Have you chosen a name yet? What is it?'
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I'm not pregnant, but these are great tips! I'll avoid saying these to pregnant ladies now
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I hated hearing the "you are so small!" comments when people heard how far along I was. It always made me feel like I wasn't growing my baby right or something. It isn't up to the mom how she carries, it just is . . . so just tell her she looks great!
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@betsyboop: I hate that! I feel like it brings on unwanted opinions.
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The thing I hated most was when people would talk about how much more life was going to suck once baby was born, lack of sleep, no time, etc. I was super excited to have baby out of my belly, I wanted to give the naysayers a good kick in their junk.
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The "are you having twins" comments drove me sooo nuts!
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I HATE the "are you sure it's not twins" comments!! I have gotten that a lot and it drives me INSANE. Yes, I'm sure, and yes, you just called me fat!!!! ARGH!!
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I was on bed rest with both pregnancies because of preeclampsia, and family members would always say, "God doesn't give you something you can't handle" or some other spiritual "healing" type phrase. Well thank you for pointing out that He was testing me by having my life and the lives of my unborn children be in danger. I thought of that quote, and how insensitive it was, every time I got up to go to the bathroom and was worried I would have a stroke or get a placental abruption.
I know people were just trying to put me at ease, but it was incredibly insensitive to tell someone dealing with a life-threatening issue that God thinks you can handle potentially dying. Or perhaps my hormones just made it seem worse...
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How are you feeling & You can go any day now!
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@Maysprout: This! I HATE all the people warning me to do everything fun now, before baby, because my life is going to be so crazy afterward and I'll never do anything fun ever again. Surprisingly, DH and I knew our lives were going to change drastically when we decided to start TTC and therefore become parents, and couldn't be looking forward to it more, so please be happy with us! It reminds me of all the rude comments before we got married about how 'marriage ruins relationships/ makes them less fun, etc.' Some people just don't know how to be happy for other people.
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Ugh. Well I am actually having twins, and I'm getting very close to biting the next person who says "Oh my God, that's goingto be so much work!" Gee, do you honestly think that didn't occur to us? And how on earth is it helpful to point out how little sleep I'll get this summer? There's not a blessed thing I can do about it right now! Oops, maybe we shouldn't have ordered twins. People are so stupid!
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Yes, I'm already tired of my dad asking how I'm feeling. I know he cares but every single time I talk to him, it's how are you feeling? I'm also already tired of people touching my belly! Co-workers, friends, layoff! I'm not even that big yet!
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almost nothing bothered me the first time I was pregnant... Except "how are you feeling" near the end. After that, I have seriously never asked a pg woman that. I still cringe when I hear others ask a pg woman that question. Even "how's it going" is better.
The second time around I got a lot of "when are you due? oh that's so far from now!" comments too. Annoying. Also, "you look like you're going to pop" and "any day now, huh"... ummm, NO.
I got livid after someone (not a mom) at work told me I would be "so bored at home". Ummm... maternity leave is NOT vacation. I laughed... Literally and told her, "two kids at home? I'll be far from bored, my dear". Augh, just wait til she understands one day!!
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I hate being asked every single day how I’m feeling. I want to just snap and say “like crap! Just like yesterday, and probably just like tomorrow!”.
Another annoying comment is comments on how large my bump is. The other day a co-worker asked when I was due, and when I said June, she exclaimed “but you’re so huge, do you even think you’ll go that long??” Like, yes I will go that long – that’s my due date, not some random date I picked. I should hope I will go until my due date!
The other that’s a huge personal pet peeve of mine are comments like “Well, *I* wouldn’t take that risk” or “better safe than sorry” for activities that are not actually risky. The US in general has a pretty over anxious view on pregnancy anyway, and I know this is a new experience for each of us – but pregnancy isn’t a new experience. We all live super cushy lives compared to both history and 90% of the world, and some of these nervous nellies drive me bonkers. If people want to worry that the normal, non-risky activities that they might engage in, or might think about engaging in might do damage – then stressing themselves out (which is an actual risk factor) is their own prerogative. It just irritates me to see women stressing other women out over their choices, when those choices are non-risky. Its fine to have different personal levels of comfort – but also to realize that some levels of comfort are just completely self imposed and so its not really nice to then impose those on other women. A lot of it is very first world problems, and believing we're much more powerful and in control than we are.
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I think I'm going to start answering the "how are you feeling" question with "I'm feeling pregnant" - I know people mean well, but I can only give the first 2 people a response before I start getting irritated.
And "You're going to be such a cute pregnant lady" - so, if I end up ballooning out in 3 weeks, I'll have failed at that? I just say, "Here's hoping, but I've got 4 months left." -
Ooh, I forgot the nonverbal "comment" of everyone I pass looking at my belly. It's like college, but with bellies instead of boobs. I just want to say "Hey buddy, my eyes are up here."
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Oh, one more lol. My grandmother asked my mom if she thought my husband would ALLOW me to go back to work after having the baby. Only since it was my 90 year old grandma did I let it slide. We’re adults – the word “allow” doesn’t exist in our relationship vocabulary. My mom said she laughed and said she can’t imagine my husband not “allowing” me to do whatever I want to do.
Sigh. -
I am definitely going to stop asking pregnant women how they're feeling! I never realized it was annoying, but now I totally understand that if you get that question all the time it would drive you bonkers!!
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Are you having twins?!
Me: No, I just ate uncontrollably and gained 50 pounds. -
"how are you feeling?" isn't so bad. I'm sure they all mean well, and it just takes a one word answer. My coworker JUST asked me this question a second ago and I just said fine.
I agree that comments regarding size of the belly is never cool though. We're at our most self-conscious stage right now.
(hi everyone by the way! it's my first post)
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"What'd the doctor say?"
"Wow, you're so big already!"
"Picked a name yet?" -
"Don't worry, it only gets worse"
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@jennylynn: We haven't gone completely public yet, but when we visited DH's grandmother she probably told me 20x how important walking was. I really commented because April 18th is my birthday
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Just wait til your third trimester or I was never that big!
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@BabyBoecksMom: OMG. LOL!
@autumnlove: yikes! mean people! -
@pastemoo: mostly from my MIL & mom! Lol!
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"Oh, bless your heart." (Said by perfect strangers as I was out and about in my third trimester in the summer heat.)
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Anything about how hot I'll be in June, July, and August (when I"m due). DUH!!!!! I live in the south, I know it will be really hot. Also, I had a mom at school ask me today how I was feeling. When I replied that I was feeling well, she remarked, "Oh you're tired--you look REALLY tired." Well, thanks, lady, I actually thought I was looking all right today. : /
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I hate "how are you feeling" too. I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Especially when it's the same person that asks you every other day.
Grrrr.
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@Goldilocks1107: LOL!
@autumnlove: no way! -
"you are carrying so high"
1. I'm very short, we were fighting for territory for quite some time, there isn't much room in here for either of us, he can't really go far!
2. He dropped very low fairly early- he was murder on my bladder for well over a month..... carrying high my ass! I should have bought stock in toilet paper due to how often I had to pee.
3. Nobody wants to hear how high their baby is in the 3rd trimester when you are soooo ready to get that little squirt out!
I had a lady tell me very early (like 9 weeks) that I must be having a boy because I was getting back "chub". It took everything I had not rip her apart. Instead I cried all the way home, and then again when I was telling my husband about it.
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