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I think people are just excited! It evolves the way they can picture the new baby!
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Why on earth do people get annoyed if a couple finds out the gender but doesn't want to tell others? What bearing does that have on anyone else's life? (Makes it harder to buy gifts? Buy them once the kid is born?) I know what I'm having, I've told only my mum and best friend and nobody else. Barely anybody has asked what I am having, and the few that have I've told that I'm keeping it to myself. Big F'n Whoopee? I don't want to draw attention to myself/my pregnancy and try to avoid having conversations about gender/names/parenting plans etc with people that aren't really interesting and its just "small talk".
The other day I was harangued by a middle aged man working at the grocery store about what I am having, and if I'm going to have a third.... wtf dude, is that not too personal for small talk with a stranger?
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Lol, I loved messing with the people that really really wanted to know. I told them that I wasn't finding out just to drive them craaaaaaazy. Not true, but it made me laugh.
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People weren't really annoyed with us, I think most people were just amazed DH and I were finally having a baby after waiting 15 years, lol.
But I also avoided the consumer-y aspects of pregnancy. We announced really late, and only in person, not online. No registry. No shower. I wasn't comfortable with any of that stuff.
It's funny though, my mom and I both secretly thought it would be a girl-we were wrong! She actually bought some dresses she ended up having to return them!
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@FannyMae: It bewilders me too. WHY does it matter so much to people?
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I personally don't care the gender of anyone's baby, usually I don't talk about pregnancy related topics unless the mom to be brings it up.
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@Torchwood: even more so, why does it matter to complete random strangers?? I had the bank teller lady questioning me for ten minutes about gender/how many/do I want more, while also telling me about her own family plans. Lady, give me my money and let me go already!
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My experience has been:
Inquiring person: "Are you going to find out what you are having?"
Me:"No, we are waiting until he/ she is born"
IP: "Oh," Pause, " I could never do that, I am such a planner". Then IP goes into how they told people/ or some other tyrant as I politely listen and nod.I'm a planner too. I'm just planning for all future children, and by just staying gender neutral this means that I don't have to buy tons of stuff twice. And I'm saving myself from our societies views on 'blue for boy, pink for girl'. And lastly, why do you even bother asking if you are just going to go into a tyrant about how you found out, and how you told everyone. This time is about me and my baby. Stay out of my uterus!
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We didn't find out until the day of and it was so wonderful to do it that way! We only had a few people who didn't like the idea though. Most people congratulated us on wanting to keep it a surprise. Yes, some relatives experienced a mild minute of frustration because they couldn't buy something gender specific, but it passed because they have our child's whole life to do that.
On the whole it was a well-received decision because like so many people say: there are so few true surprises in life. Our other response to people was: it truly does not matter whether we have a boy or girl as long as we have a healthy baby we will be happy and that was something people accepted and understood when we said it.
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We found out with DS and are planning to find out this time as well. DS is going to be five when the baby is born and he is so excited to find out and asks all the time if it's a brother or sister. I'm not a very patient person in general, and DH is fine either way.
My SIL just had her second and they were TG for both. I sometimes feel like we should wait, but I feel it's a surprise no matter what and I just want to know. I have been feeling a lot worse during this pregnancy than my first, so the anatomy scan is something I'm really excited for and looking forward to. Knowing it is only about a month away makes it a bit easier to deal with the nausea and fatigue.
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It's like with my hisband's family. We know we're having a boy but won't tell anyone the name. It's a steady stream of guessing, researching names and more. I find it so irritating - you'll find out the name in a few months, just wait!!
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@Mrs. Goose: that's what I told someone just last week after I already answered the sex question. For us, we really truly have no preference so waiting doesn't bother us.
@fancyfunction: when people start asking about the name they stop and follow up with "are you sharing??" For our boys name I don't mind because it's set in stone and I tell people that. 97% of the responses come off genuinely positive.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: DH and I absolutely want to find out the gender with our baby when I get pregnant, and we seem to have the opposite reaction from people haha.
They become frustrated because we're 'ruining one of life's great surprises'. Hmmmm... it'll still be a surprise, just a couple months earlier... and really it's only 1 of 2 options haha.
Good luck with your pregnancy! Ignore those nosy Nancy's! -
I've actually had negative responses from deciding to find out! Why anyone should care what the parents choose to do is beyond my comprehension. If you're patient enough to wait, good for you! My husband really wanted to know and being a planner, I was excited to find out ahead of time too... But there were a few people in our lives that expressed disappointment in our decision. And these would be people that aren't even that close to us!
@WinterBee: Agreed...its best just to ignore those people. Do what works for you.
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This is my second TG pregnancy and typically once people ask/indicate they are annoyed (so weird to me) it doesn't come up. My mom both times has asked if she can go to us and find out and not tell me. Um, no. Docs/nurses are usually very supportive and think it's great- I've had an us every 2 weeks this pregnancy and I've had to remind tech not to tell us every time.
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