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@MrsCB: Yeah I agree. I live in a rural area by the coast and its pretty much small towns (with the exception of one "city" which is relatively small). Lots of Southern Baptist churches (which I grew up attending) and families who have been here forever (mine is one of them). I've always been more open minded than my family, but when I went to college, I realized just how crazy some of the beliefs here are- I stayed in this area, but met sooo many new people with differing opinions.
My sister goes to UNC and she said that area is way better when it comes to this type of stuff. So much more diversity. She is studying to be a teacher as well, and she is conflicted on whether she wants to move home when she's graduated because the triangle area is much more open minded.
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I would be entirely accepting. I know DH would, too, but would have a harder time dealing with bullying or future issues facing our child. Thankfully, most of our immediate and closer extended family are either on the same page, or at least understanding, so that helps. That, and the fact that MN is MUCH more liberal than some neighboring states, has made our move much nicer.
Like @MrsCB: said, we'll do our best to raise our children talking about things like "meeting the person they love," or "who will be your date to the prom," or "the day you find the one made for you" rather than assuming that our son will marry a girl our our daughter will take a boy to prom, etc. I think that even subtle language like that can make it more difficult for a child to come out to their parents, as it shows what seems to be an subconscious preference.
And when I say accepting, I mean it as other posters have put it so well: totally, all-encompassing, makes-no-difference acceptance.
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@Dandelion: I don't understand how homosexuality can be a sin against nature if there is evidence in the animal world of homosexual behavior, and I am not talking about asexual organisms.
I don't have the ability to provide any research supporting what I just write though as I am away from a proper computer.
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@looch: You're right...it's all over nature. I have no explanation for that for other animals. Christians believe it's a sin against nature for humans to do it because of the verses that mention it. We were instructed not to do it, in the same way other religions are.
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@Dandelion: i understand your specific christian faith leads you to those beliefs, but there are plenty of christian churches that disagree with your stance and have no problem with it. so i would disagree that all christians believe it is a sin against nature.
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@MrsCB: when amendment one was up for vote (which stated that the nc constitution should be amended to say that marriage is between a man and woman) durham and wake counties (where raleigh is) were 2 out 8 that voted against it. (meaning that the majority of voters in these counties DON'T think that amendment should be added)
i live in garner, right outside raleigh, and was so proud of my county but sorely disappointed in my state, as the amendment passed.
hope that helps!
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@Dandelion: ok fair enough, so of a person was a parent to a gay child, what are they supposed to do?
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@mrs. bird: @looch: I was only helping to elaborate on the conservative Christian belief on it...since some people asked. I don't like that they get such a bad rep for believing what they do. In a world we talk about coexisting, I feel like sometimes the super conservatives are not included in that.
I was raised in that climate, but I myself would love my child no matter what...support them and stand up for them. I know that my cousin came out to my uncle, who is a conservative Christian. He still loves her and supports her and lets her know that he loves her no matter what. It's ok if your parents have different ideals than you do, as long as no one uses shaming towards the other side. There are churches that would say they would have to disown their children, but I think that most Christians know how to accept people and their lifestyles with grace, without shaming. I would hope to be like that.
But, as much as I would support my kid, I know that it would be an always uphill battle for them, and I never want to see me kid have opposition. So, it while would be easier if my kid weren't gay, I could accept it if he were.
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I saw this today, it made me feel really good about the world we are living in:
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@mrs. bird: I would be there with bells on, showing off my son and his partner and the life they created together!! I would be so proud and would stand up for him
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@stargal: your answer makes me smile
@Dandelion: i'm sorry if i've said anything inaccurate about conservative christianity and their stance on homosexuality, it is not my intention to give misinformation. i don't know that i'd say i'm trying to create a world where i don't coexist with conservative christians, although perhaps saying that i would choose not to have any family member in my life who couldn't love and accept a homosexual child could be viewed that way. i guess because homosexuality is not a choice, it is just a part of someone, it is a part of who they are, who they were born as, rather than a choice someone makes. someone chooses to discriminate, family members could choose not to hate or discriminate against a gay child, a gay child can't choose not to be gay anymore than they can choose what color hair they're born with, they might be able to try to cover it up, but it doesn't change what they are born with. i'm not sure how i would continue to have a relationship with someone who chooses not to support a gay child's right to fall in love and have a family when they grow up. could you continue to have a relationship with someone who views your child as an abomination? i'm not saying i can't coexist, i'm saying because i have fundamentally opposing views, that i would not choose to have a relationship with them. i would not choose to have a relationship with someone who views my interracial marriage as an abomination either. it doesn't feel good to have people look at you like you are lesser because of who you love. i would fight tooth and nail to protect my child and their right to love freely and be loved they way they deserve to be loved. i won't get in the way of anyone else's marriage, i won't expect anyone to change who they are, i just choose not to have relationships with some.
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Absolutely, but I can't say I wish for it. It would be a harder life, although it is getting easier, and I know it would be particularly hard for many of my family members.
I do think there is a difference between "accepting/supportive" and just plain loving your kid. Even if you would struggle with finding out your kid is gay, I don't think anyone of us here would love our child one drop less! At least I hope not!
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@mrs. bird: I'm with you...I wouldn't be around anyone who thinks so differently about views to the point that it could affect my family. But, I you won't see me out there protesting against something I think is wrong to people I don't even know. I think in our lives we choose to be around people that have the same general views on things anyways.
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I would go to the ends of the earth for my LO to be happy so that means accepting / supporting her regardless of her sexuality.
Having said that, I think there would be some kind of "mourning" period for me as I always imagine her meeting a wonderful man and having the typical 2.6 kids and white picket fence so to speak, and it would be an adjustment for me to change that vision of happiness - I hope that made sense!
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@Kemma: I have a similar view.
And as far as the Christian stance on things, I have a more liberal view of it... Even if you consider homosexuality to be a sin, we are all sinners and the Bible says sin is sin, so why is homosexuality a greater sin then anger, lust, etc. Just a rhetorical question
I definitely am of the mindset that homosexuality isn't the opposite of ability to be a follower of Christ.
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