Hellobee Boards

@MamaMagpie: I watched that episode today too. I would only ever do it for my siblings (actual, not in laws) so my sister or brother. They are both done having kids so good thing it didn't come down to that.

I would do it for my sisters or my best friend. I didn't mind being pregnant too much. But for some reason a lot of people within my faith don't think it's "right". I think it'd be really controversial if I did! But that wouldn't stop me if it were someone I loved and cared about.

I know I could never do it for money for complete strangers though. That would be so awkward.

@Mrs. Pen: Really? Why is that? Why do they think it's not right, I mean.

My neighbor the first time we were having a talk more than 'hi, how are you' was telling me about her pregnancies since I'm pregnant. For her last one she was a surrogate for her brother and SIL, at first I was just like 'wow, that's an amazing gift I'm not sure I could handle it' and then her husband started talking about how difficult emotionally it was in the days after and it was touching and obviously painful, I started ugly crying really hard. The husband felt awkward and walked away for a few minutes but the wife was like 'believe me I understand those pregnancy hormones are so strong'. So I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to do that since I couldn't even listen about it from someone I barely knew and definitely wouldn't consider it for a stranger.

@Arden: From those that I've spoken with about it, they believe as evidenced through scripture that it is God who opens and closes the womb. And any attempt to "take control of that" is trying to "play God" by taking his power into our own hands. In the same way, many of the more conservative Christians I've known believe any form of birth control other than NFP is sinful, as is any type of fertility help. To which I keep my mouth shut. I do not believe as such. I understand why they do, but I don't believe the scripture is definitive on fertility at all. Many of these families I know who are openly opposed to BC have 6-12 children. They obviously don't understand the pain and struggle of infertility.

@Mrs. Pen: To those people believe adoption is wrong? Since it could potentially be seen as going against God's will, since He chose not to give children? Sorry, just curious. I've always wondered about the thinking behind this.

Maybe for my sister. Pregnancy was so hard on me. I'll do it one more time for myself, so that my daughter can have a sibling, but beyond that I'd be quite happy to never be pregnant again.

@Arden: I don't believe so? It states in the bible that as Christians/the church we are to care for orphans and widows. I don't think that most adoptive families would say that it's a last resort to infertility. There are so many reasons a family adopts!

I agree that the mindset boggles my mind. I grew up with a lot of extremely conservative Christians. Thankfully my faith has always been my own and not based on others, otherwise many of them would have turned me off.

Maybe if I had never had a child . . . but now that I have a LO, no.

@Mrs. Jacks: Oh IVF is def a hot topic. They are definitely against it. They adopt to the idea that it's taking fertility from God's hands and giving themselves that power (even though it's not even an assured "power"). Of course there is also the debate of fertilized eggs being frozen or not use.

I'm not against it personally, but I do think that each fertilized egg should be used.

TBH I'm not sure what I would have done had I struggled with infertility. Because I know many in my family would have vehemently opposed any fertility measures.

Now it's not something I discuss with others on a typical basis. I avoid controversy like the plague! I am okay with the fact that as a Christian I have more "liberal" views than a lot of them. I realized that everyone's journey in their faith is different and I try not to judge, but focus on what convictions God has given myself personally and try to follow the bible as best I can.

I don't discredit them. It's hard to interpret the bible in our modern culture. Birth control is never addressed outright in the bible since it wasn't what it is now. Hope that helps a little. We can continue this discussion on our walls if you would like

Anyhow - I'm very sorry to OP to thread jack here!

@FutureMrsMcK: What a heartbreaking situation. I am so sorry for your family. I totally understand and respect their decision.

TBH I would probably adopt if I were unable to conceive naturally. Not as a last resort but because with both IVF, IUI and surrogacy, it's not even assured you will have a child. The likelihood of bringing a child home through adoption is much greater.

No way. I had an incredibly tough pregnancy, it was basically nine months of constant vomiting, exhaustion, and antenatal depression. I'm not sure I'm willing to go through it again for myself and DH, let alone someone else!

Maybe. I have a friend who has been trying to have a second child for several years now and has been unsuccessful. If I thought I could handle the emotions that come with surrogacy, I think I might carry a baby for her.

Giving away the child I carried would be too much for me. Then again, seeing my loved ones try and try without success to get pregnant would be hard to witness too...

I have fairly easy pregnancies, so, I wouldn't mind being pregnant. but, I would only be able to do it for my sister/SIL and very, very close friends. there isn't a chance I could do it for a stranger I think.