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9 weeks tomorrow and I finally "feel" pregnant...slight bit of a bump. You can't see it, but I do feel it, and it's pretty comforting.

Less than 2 weeks, now until my ultrasound appointment. I'm wondering if I can convince to take a vacation day to go with me. It'll depend on how busy the week goes at work.

@LovelyPlum: Glad the spotting didn't stay. I have to say that it's the worst "normal" symptom of pregnancy. I think I'd rather throw up.

@Dandelion: I'm so glad you feel it! My stomach is definitely round and hard, and it isn't all bloat anymore. It is so crazy to feel! And you are right, spotting is the worst normal symptom. It makes me feel like a crazy person.

@T.H.O.U.: thanks I'm sorry you're not feeling it today. When is your appointment? I'm glad that you get to go soon, so you can relax a bit. Any fun plans for the weekend?

@LovelyPlum: Proud of you for keeping your cool! Hope you continue to gain confidence in your body and that this is for real this time!

We told my parents yesterday at the lake. I slipped it into conversations about our home renovations, like, "oh, and we're having a baby." About 20 seconds of silence and blank staring followed and then my mom was like, "REALLY!?" Followed by lots of "awwwwwww, really?" So they are thrilled to finally have a grandchild. They were worried they'd never get any. So it went well.

Hope everyone has a relaxing holiday! DH is out grabbing me some breakfast because nothing in the house sounds good. Sweet man.

@T.H.O.U.: have fun at the beach!

@Dandelion: I'm sure feeling the little bump is comforting. I hope your DH can make it to your appt. My next appt is in ten days and my DH has been crazy busy at work lately. Hoping he can make it work with his schedule but won't know til closer to the day.

@T.H.O.U.: That's what I keep telling myself, also...I'm not spotting or bleeding anymore, so I'm guessing everything is ok, for now!

I'm still having a hard time just wrapping my head around this. It just doesn't seem true, but maybe my skepticism is fueled by my loss. I think the ultrasound will help me grasp it a little better.

And speaking of not feeling pregnant, besides the absurd fatigue I haven't been feeling much of anything. Until Saturday. Oi. I woke up w a nasty cramp low and to the left that wrapped around to my back. Like I had weeks ago that I attributed to my uterus growing. Then I tried to eat breakfast, barely got through anything and felt lightheaded, dizzy and got the cold sweats. Gross. I haven't felt these things for weeks! Like at week 7. So it was a very mixed feeling of, oh wow symptoms that im still pregnant! and oh man why now/is that ok/is something wrong?

Anyone else have mysteriously reappearing symptoms after nothing for a long stretch?

@T.H.O.U.: I'm glad you had a great beach day! Our house needs cleaned, too, but we are going to a picnic instead I'm excited for you tomorrow. And I know that feeling...like, how do I know things are ok in there??? Today, I am trusting. Today, we are pregnant.

@PEAPIE: thank you! And I'm glad it went well. That is awesome.

@jhd: thanks lady. And I totally agree-I am living the extra day od rest. I'm glad you are feeling better!

@luckypenny: I'm so glad that the nausea has gone away a bit! Mine comes and goes in waves now. I agree, the fatigue is definitely getting worse now. Enjoy DH today

@cmbknyc: hoping for only great things for you on Wednesday!!

@Dandelion: I hope the u/s does help! Having a picture has helped me, I think. It is still so hard to believe a little one is in there!

Off to a barbeque in a few hours. I'm excited, but it also sounds tiring! Hoping fatigue doesn't kick my butt while there

@HazelEyes: I'm sorry you're not feeling well. This pregnancy thing is nuts. Hope you feel better soon!

@LovelyPlum: thanks. It actually pretty much has passed-dare I say- except very little appetite. How are you doing today? And I never mentioned, but I like your new avatar

@HazelEyes: The demi is good for the earlier months, but once you get into the third trimester, the full panel is best, because they stay up better...at least for me it was that way. The full panel felt more secure around my belly.

Have fun shopping!

@HazelEyes: I felt like gap runs small and old navy stretches out for me too much. Motherhood maternity worked fine for me.

@HazelEyes: Belly pictures and maternity pants! Can't wait to get to that point! I bet that's when it will 'hit' me. So excited about elastic waistbands, for real.

@T.H.O.U.: So excited you get to see your babe tomorrow!

@luckypenny: I agree it will be nice to not worry about being too hot with this pregnancy.

It's been a long 12 days since my last post and though I tried my best to enjoy the cruise, it definitely wasn't all fun n games. When I left for my cruise on the 22nd I had just started spotting and my 10am hpt was showing more faint than the previous test (Wondfo strips). Well I tried to disregard it and play it off but by 4pm the spotting turned into full blown golf ball size bright red blood clots and continued for 4 days, then tapered off the smaller clots. I was at sea and couldn't get in contact with my OB. I finally got in contact with a midwife at the practice this morning and she thinks I either miscarried or its just bleeding with no harm to the baby (duh.. only two outcomes no? >=\ ). She suggested I take a hpt tomorrow with FMP since that's the most concentrated and only wants to see me if it turns positive. Now I am really afraid of POAS! My heart wishes I'm that small percentage that had heavy bleeding first trimester and goes on to have a healthy baby, but I'm having a hard time thinking it could be the other reason. This would be my second m/c in the last 6 months and I can't even wrap my head around it all.

Sorry for being Debbie Downer here. I'm so heartbroken if this is another loss.

@littleveesmommy: please dont worry about being a Debbie Downer! I am so hopeful that things are ok for you and the little one. I lost two in the last six months, and I would not wish that on anyone. If you don't want to POAS, which I can totally understand, could you get in to see your OB tomorrow? Please let us know how it goes, and reach out anytime. Sending you hugs!

@HazelEyes: thanks! I feel a little better recently, though the bad waves still come often, and hit me hard. I made it through the cookout with only one bout of anxiety, though! We were there for 6 hours, so I was proud of myself. And you are so not alone with maternity pants. I need them very, very soon. My yoga pants are digging into my belly!

@littleveesmommy: Big hugs! I'm so sorry you're going through this! I hope it all works out for you.