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So...I started having a mini meltdown the other day with my mom. I'm pretty type A and a total planner/list girl. This whole pregnancy thing is crazy because we all kind of wait around and hold our breathe until 12 weeks...then I feel like its BOOM you have SO much to do in 4 months bc really you want to be pretty prepared once you are 7 mos just in case LO comes early or there are some kind of complications (i.e. bedrest). So its like we have 4 months to prepare for the craziest experience of our lives...
For me, this is Mid March - Late June...hmmm...I have 1 work conference (VEGAS!!!) and 3 potential work trips (2 one week international trips and 1 potentially 3-4 week stint in Europe). so of my 16 weeks, I have 6-7 wiped out for work travel. Man - thats not a LOT of time. Obviously online shopping can make everything easier!
Any of your ladies getting the Baby Bargains book? There is one out now and one that comes out in April, I dont know about waiting until April to start researching. I am also starting to look into Photographers and I feel like I need to start thinking about daycare options. Dont those places usually have wait lists? My materinity leave will likely only be 8-10 weeks unfortunately.
Ok - panic session over. As you can tell I freak out about planning stuff...
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@Mrs D: You can still research stuff right now. Maybe you don't want to buy it yet, but you can find out what you want. Plus, as one of my coworkers said, all you need for the baby right away is a box. They aren't picky. And if you find you NEED something, there are stores. Isn't it exciting to think that you are that close to 12 weeks?!!!? Do you know people in the area with kids? They can tell you what daycare is like in your area. There's a huge shortage here, so I've already applied and my LO won't be in daycare until Aug 2014. Good luck!
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@Mrs D: I'm a total planner too! I looked into daycares before DH and I realized that we were going to go another way. Of everything you've mentioned, I would start w that first. I was told that fall is one of their busier times, so you definitely want to start researching.
I did just book my photographer :). This seems like its less of an issue with timing though. If you find someone you love there's no harm in booking that early. Remember that there's an element of uncertainty, since we don't really know what the birth day will be. Photographers will tentatively book a date but are flexible.
For other stuff, I'll say you've got time, but there's no harm on buying things early so you feel you've checked things off your list. I do all my research online, so I wasn't planning on getting the book.
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@Grace: @StrawberryBee: Thanks ladies. After talking with DH last night he calmed me down...well actually he pointed me in the direction of something that will calm me down! Its funny when you realize how well they know you. He helpfully suggested I make "one of my crazy spreadsheets" clearly referring to the massive spreadsheet I lived off of for our wedding. So thats what I am going to start - he's right in that so long as I have the plan developed before the end of my first Tri I will feel a million times better.
I have been reaching out to the few girlfriends that know about LO and are moms to solicit information on their "must haves" and "dont waste your money" items. I have gotten two responses and am expecting another one!
We do really need to start discussing Day care though. What are you ladies planning to do? I am hoping to stay home for 10 weeks (which gets me through early-ish Nov) then try to do flex time (4 days a week) through the end of the year. If I could find a great in home day care I would do that for the other 4 days, however if I cant find an in home option I will go to a larger/commercial one but I'd like to consider doing 2 days at day care and 2 days part time nanny...at least until LO is one year old.
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@Mrs D: with short term, sick time, and vacation time I think I have 16 weeks to take. If I don't go out early, this would take me through the end of November, except that's our busiest time at work. So I will probably come back to run the reports and then grab more time off as needed. Both my bosses told me to take as much time as I could because these moments only come once. Love them :).
For care when I go back, the current plan is to have DH stop working (he's self employed) and become a SAHD. In our situation I'm the breadwinner, and he doesn't make enough to cover his expenses plus $800-1200 in daycare a month. It'll be tight covering his expenses with my paycheck, but hopefully my raise (which just got eaten up by the tax increase $@&":(!) and the savings in the mortgage refi will make it up.
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@Mrs D: Ooooo, a spreadsheet. I love spreadsheets - maybe I'll make one too.
I'm in Canada, so I get a year mat leave. Hopefully, by then we'll be able to get LO into a centre daycare (the odds are low, but I can hope). I'm hoping for a centre because there is more staff, so they don't shut down because a worker is sick, they tend to have more structure (although with perseverence, this can be found in a home daycare) and they are often attached to the school that the children will end up going to. But they are popular, so I'll have to hope for a miracle. Oh, also, they are subsidized, so they are cheaper.
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@Grace: I totally freaked when I saw your first post that your LO won't be in daycare until Aug 2014. I thought you meant that was the earliest opening they had, so I was like OMG!!! Then I read your comment you're in Canada so I feel a little better about not researching many daycares yet. I found one near my work, and there's one near the hubby's work so I'm not sure if we want a daycare near our work or near home.
@Mrs D: Girl, I'm totally with you on being Type A and needing to plan. The hubby doesn't ever do research so it's all on me. I give him options A, B, and C and he'll help decide. It's frustrating sometimes. HB is awesome in making recommendations on certain gear so I've been relying on purchasing some of the highly recommended stuff with light research.
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@Alivoo01: Actually, for some centers it's a 5 year wait. But there are always places to be had at the spur of the moment - they are just more expensive, often unlicensed. It's not impossible to find a place here, but it is hard (hence registring 20 months early) and still saying "please please please, let one have a space".
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@Grace: 5 years?!?! Holy cow!!!!!!! Looks like I need to bump up looking for a daycare as the #1 priority now.
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@Alivoo01: Lol - don't panic. There is a very real daycare shortage where I live. Your area might not have the same problem.
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@Grace: oh neat, where abouts are you? I'm in Alberta.
I also am in Canada so I get a year mat leave. Which will be very nice. I sorta kinda looked into daycares near my office, but they are just so darn expensive that I cannot justify (and/or afford!!!) paying that much. I need to look into the daycares in our area. I'm kind of dreading it.
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@.twist.: Winnipeg. The province set up a daycare registry last year (I think). It's awesome cause you only have to apply once to get on the waiting list for however many (licensed) daycares you want.
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@Alivoo01: I don't think daycare will be as hard for us to find (at least I hope not!). I have made a list of 5 or 6 that look good, now we just need to go tour them. This is an amazing resource: http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child_Care/ppFacilitySearchDayCare.asp
You can search daycares by zip code, and it provides a list of licensed daycares in your area, and also allows you to look at each daycare's violations.
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So...I am wondering for you Canadian ladies what the average cost of Daycare is?
I'm in Metro Detroit and for a chain day care (like Kindercare - not sure if those are national) will run us approx $250 per week. An in home day care could be more or less depending on the quality. A more "upscale" and "boutique" day care will likely be between $350-400 per week.
Just wondering how different the costs are by location! I'm always intrigued by that...like the photography...I couldn't believe how much they were in PA!
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My friend posted this on Facebook the other day. Thought you'd ladies get a laugh...
http://www.scarymommy.com/a-letter-to-my-pregnant-child-less-self/
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@Mrs D: $145/ week for 2 and under and $95 for older. These are licensed subsized daycares. Other ones run $150-$175 and there's a crazy "corportate" one that just opened that's charging $325/week. Not sure who in their right mind would pay double every one else, so we'll see how that turns out.
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@Mrs D: I am just creeping on this thread
In metro Boston, the places I've called have been about $350/week for in-home, $400 week for small centers, and closer to $500-$600/week for 'upscale' like Bright Horizons. Ouch!
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@Mrs D: I live in a suburb of Houston, and there are a ton of daycares near us. We haven't gone on any tours yet, but I think we're looking at about $600-$700/month for full-time. My DH is a professor and only teaches 2 days a week, though, so we're going to look into part-time care as well.
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@Mrs D: I have already started making a 'registry' list based on recommendations from this blog! I feel like that will make my life a lot easier as I plan what 'stuff' we will need to buy before the baby is born and shortly after. I've also picked the color to paint the baby's room and am going to paint (with no VOC paint) next weekend.
Haha and you don't want to know what daycare costs here. It's ridiculous that it can cost so much!
Has anyone started to read parenting/baby books? I just ordered 3 from Amazon!
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@lawbee11: Thank you so much for the link!!!! This is awesome and extremely helpful!!
I had my second pre-natal appointment yesterday afternoon and it started out a lil rocky because the OB wasn't able to find the baby's heartbeat on the doppler so we got a "cheater" sonogram and got to see our baby! Unfortunately, the tech was done for the day so the OB had to perform it herself. She was unfamiliar with the equipment so we had to view it on a tiny lil screen and the sound was very muted. However, we had a strong heartbeat at 150bpm and our baby looks like a gummy bear!!! I wish the tech was there so that he could have printed us more pictures, but I'm just grateful to get another sneak peak and that all is well with the baby!!!
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@Modern Daisy: The OB gave me one and I've read about 75% of it. A friend of mine recently gifted me What to Expect, When You're Expecting, but I haven't opened it yet. I'm interested in procuring the Happiest Baby on the Block to learn about the 5 S's and Baby Led Weaning.
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@Alivoo01: Right now What to Expect is like the bible to me and DH lol! I ordered Happiest Baby although I'm not sure if it's the right parenting style for me so I balanced it out with two others. I guess you never know until baby arrives, but I want to be prepared!
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@Modern Daisy: I'm really interested in Happiest Baby. What kind of parenting style is it? Do you know?
@Alivoo01: Oh! So exciting about extra sneak peeks at the baby! Jealous!
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@.twist.: I guess I won't know till I read it, but I got the impression from a few reviews that it is more of an attachment parenting type of book. I could be wrong though and honestly the reviews are stellar so regardless I know it will be helpful.
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So we had out first appointment today (finally) and everything was good! We had a meeting with the nurse talking about our health histories and the dos and don'ts. Then I got a flu shot because I hadn't had one yet. Then we had our ultrasound. We could see the peanut moving his/her little arms and legs. We also saw and heard the heartbeat. It was 175 bpm which the doctor said was good. We have our next appointment at the end of February. I'm so relieved and now I can start to get a little more excited!
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@JamieLee: Yay for 1st ultrasound and that is an amazing heart beat!! Sounds like a girl heartbeat to me... haha!!
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@JamieLee: Yay! So cute!! Isn't it crazy how early it actually looks like a baby?? Did they adjust your EDD at all?
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@Modern Daisy: There was another thread on this that I read earlier and it looks like the techniques are pretty simple and worth a shot!
@JamieLee: Awesome!!!! That is so exciting!!!
Well, all the talk about day cares has me curious. So I started researching them in my area. I am HORRIFIED at the reviews. ew. It's incredibly discouraging reading such awful reviews that include phrases like "feels like a prison", "Rude management" and even a bad review from a practicum student about the daycare they originally studied at.
I realize that it's all relative to each individuals experience. However, I'm still feeling pretty discouraged and they are not very forthcoming about costs, at least from an internet standpoint.
Oh, and also, is 1 year considered infant or toddler?
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@lawbee11: According to my LMP it was August 9, and I had figured it to be August 17 based on my cycle length and opk. According to the u/s, its August 18, so I guess I was pretty close!
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@.twist.: They totally aren't forthcoming with costs! What is up with that? I mean, why are they so insistent on wasting everyone's time?
I don't think there's a universal definition of infant vs toddler. I think to me they are toddlers at 18 months.
@JamieLee: Glad your appointment went well and beautiful first baby picture!
@Alivoo01: Glad everything went well!
I had my second appointment today. Dr tried the doppler but didn't pick up anything - apparently 9 weeks is still pretty early. I'm frustrated with these appts though. They really seem to be a waste of time. Blood pressure, weigh-in, pee in a cup. This is what I come in for? It was fun seeing that I'm down 1 lb though. My goal is not to gain weight until 2nd trimester, but I thought that wasn't going to happen because I am hungry (and therefore eating) All. The. Time.
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@.twist.: @Grace: I agree with the frustration of people not posting cost! They insist you come in to tour the facility and THEN discuss $$$. If you're out of my price range, I rather know up front before touring and wasting my time when I should be checking out other facilities that ARE in my budget.
@Grace: I gain weight easily so I knew it was inevitable for me not to, but my goal was to not gain more than 5lbs in the 1st trimester. I have 2 more weeks to go and um yea... haha!
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@Alivoo01: Don't worry - I have plenty if extra weight, that's why I didn't want to gain anything yet. Judging from your picture, you don't, so it's inevitable that you'd gain some already.
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Hey ladies!
I am so excited about what happened today and I wanted to share! There is ONE birthing center within 100 miles of where we live (it's about 25 min from us) and it's so hard to get care/deliver there. DH and I took a tour this morning and we're in! They still have room for August so we will get to try for our NUCB! They have privileges at a hospital 5 min away in case of emergency, but if all goes to plan I will deliver at the birthing center!!! EEEEEEK!!!
Aside from working our butts off to get into the center, I haven't been doing that much. I've been exhausted and the nausea is overpowering most days
Hopefully it will get better soon but I as long as baby's healthy, I'm good!@JamieLee: Awww, "hi baby!" Beautiful
@.twist.: Sorry about the daycare woes. My supervisor is pregnant right now and going through a similar struggle.
@Grace: It sucks that they couldn't find it on the doppler. A midwife told me it can be tricky around 9 weeks. They want me to wait between 10 and 12 before my next visit w/ the doppler to hopefully get around that. -
@msmay: yay, congrats!!!!!! I hope you start to feel better soon.
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@msmay: Oooooo! I'd love to do a birthing centre, but the wait list is a mile long. Congrats! I'm not sad about not hearing the heart beat. I knew it was a long shot.
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We don't have any birthing centers near us, and we're 30 minutes from the nearest hospital. That hospital is our only choice as the next closest one is probably an hour and a half. Anyone else not super close to their hospital?
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@JamieLee: me. It'll probably take us thirty minutes as well to get to the hospital ... Not a ride I'm looking forward to. At least it's well regarded.
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@msmay: Congrats!!!
We're a bit of a ways from our hospital also (but there are a few on the way just in case something happens)...I was particular bc I love my doctors and refused to change just because their hospital is 20 mins further away. Hopefully I dont end up regretting that decision.
So I have had spotting once a day for the last 3 days. Its literally one time that I got to the bathroom and I only see it on the TP. Its always pink (today it was barely anything) never red. Just FYI for you ladies in case anyone else experiences something similar. I called my step dad (OBGYN) and said "I know this is ok I just need to hear you tell me its ok"...to which he said "so long as its not RED, frequent or accompanied by cramps its fine...just avoid strenuous activity and intercourse for 2 days"
DH and I are going to go see Zero Dark Thirty tonight and have dinner! I told him we'd better do the movie first otherwise I'm likely to fall asleep!
How are the rest of you ladies doing?
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@msmay: Congrats on getting into the birthing center! That's awesome and such a relief, I'm sure.
Luckily our hospital is only 5-10 min away (but I live in a major US city, so there are hospitals everywhere).
@Mrs D: Sorry about the spotting. But I agree with your step dad that if it's not red or accompanied by pain that it's fine. Was it awkward talking about intercourse with him?! I had a few days of spotting at around 4w and again around 5w and we have a healthy little gummy bear
Everything is going pretty well with me. I have had a really bad cold for the past 4-5 days, but I am finally feeling better. I am too paranoid to take anything, so I have been relying on my humidifier and neti pot (both of which have helped tremendously!).
Also, last night after dinner I took a picture of my belly and I had the tiniest bit of a bump showing....so that made me happy!
Hope you ladies are doing well!
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@lawbee11: You know...the first few times I'd ask him questions (years ago) it was a little awkward. But he is very good about removing his step dad hat and putting on his doctor hat that it doesn't even phase me. My mom and him started dating when I was 22 so I have only known him as a grown up (more or less) so we dont have a typical father/daughter-ish relationship either.
In metro Boston, the places I've called have been about $350/week for in-home, $400 week for small centers, and closer to $500-$600/week for 'upscale' like Bright Horizons. Ouch!
Hopefully it will get better soon but I as long as baby's healthy, I'm good!
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