When you get big and lose your balance and your sense of self, how do you keep up your self esteem? I'm feeling enormous! Took me 2.5 years to lose 24 pounds, and in 22 weeks of pregnancy, I've gained 19 or 20.
I am ok with gaining some weight--I know baby needs it. BUT I'm used to being short and "small" (and just got used to my newer slim self) and being above the high end of weight gain--it is freaking me out.
How did/do you keep up your self esteem when you're supposed to be gaining weight?
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
My hubby was a huge help with this for me. I figured since he still wanted sexy time, he had to like the way I looked. I still had my bad moments, but I feel like that's normal.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@artbee: 
My hubby is my biggest help in this, too. Thanks for reminding me.
clementine / 878 posts
I have a new mantra that's been helping me. Whenever I think I look fat, I just think to myself "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant, this is normal" over and over until the fat demon goes into hiding.
And I'm still avoiding mirrors at the gym because I think I look worse in my workout gear than in my regular clothes or even naked.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@pastemoo: First, I have seen your progress pictures on Wb and there is NO way I would ever guess you have gained 20 lbs. Seriously.
I am a small person too (5'2, 110 lbs...or that's what I WAS) and never fluctuated weight much. I'm up around 9-10 lbs at 21.5 weeks. It's kind of hard to feel bigger and see the scale go up when I'm used to feeling petite and little. I don't mind my belly that much, but my arms look big, my butt feels huge, and I have crazy cellulite on my legs. For me, the biggest factor in the way that I feel is what I'm eating. When pregnant, people try to like force feed you treats and encourage you to overindulge (or, at least that's my experience). When I'm eating healthy and not pigging out, my self esteem is MUCH better. Other than that, I have no really good advice for you. I think it's a totally normal feeling...
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
I gained 50+ lbs and probably gained about 20lbs by 20 weeks. I looked/felt pretty gross my entire pregnancy. The first 30 came off within 6 weeks without me even trying. The last 20.. Ugh. Had to work hard to lose those stinking pounds.
Totally know how you feel. You gain a lot of weight in your 3rd trimester, so I would start eating lean meats and fruits and veggies and exercise. Also, just remember you only need an extra 300 calories when pregnant.
cherry / 230 posts
Before I got pregnant I was working out with a trainer 3 days a week, and I was doing really well in my opinion. I went from being super weak to being able to deadlift more than most men I know, and I was thrilled.
Since then I went from 165lb (and a lot of that was muscle, I was a size 10/11 clothes) to at my last appoint (36 weeks) being 218lb. It's a big jump, and it's hard to accept. The thing that's keeping me sane is that I can still wear a lot of my old clothes. Shirts, track pants, sweaters and pjs mostly, but they fit comfortably. My husband says it's all belly, boobs, butt, but I feel like a whale! I'm looking forward to it being over soon so I can hopefully go back to fairly close to what I was.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@Goldilocks1107: Brilliant. I will do this.
@winniebee: Thank you. I know it's really bizarre--where did all the weight go to? I have been working hard at staying eating the same as I used to (plus prenatal vitamins). Literally not eating more. But keeping myself accountable for always putting veggies in dinner--that makes me feel good about myself.
It's so weird how everyone says that to pregnant women--here' have this, you can eat it because you're pregnant, Um, ok, thanks? No thanks? Can I even say that?
@chopsuey119: Thanks. Maybe I need a nutritionist. I literally haven't added any calories to my regular diet, so I don't even understand how I'm gaining so much so quickly. I'm eating mostly beans for protein. And I am terrified of 3rd tri. I will definitely try to shift to more veggies.
@CameronsMomma: This sounds like me. I used to have pretty low body fat, and I am now feeling like a big whale. It IS hard to accept. Glad to commiserate.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
@pastemoo: wow really? hurmm.. maybe you're just retaining water then (you'll lose a ton of weight the first few weeks). I was eating chipotle every day and stuffing my face 24/7.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@chopsuey119: Maybe. I don't know. I'll ask about it at my next appt because I almost feel like I should be on a diet to stop gaining so fast. I won't do anything different until my next appt though.
clementine / 878 posts
@pastemoo: Maybe you're in the pregnancy camp of ladies who gain in the second tri and stay pretty level in the third. That's what I'm hoping for!
honeydew / 7968 posts
i just think about my 2 lil ones in there. and it makes me feel much better. because i do feel fat, my back is killing me, can't find any comfy position to sleep in. i'm miserable!
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@pastemoo: I know that you know this, but regardless of your gain....you SHOULD be consuming an additional 300 calories a day at this point. Your baby boy needs it! Even if it is a glass of milk, some nuts, or extra beans, try to find a way to get those extra calories. I know it's tough...
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@winniebee: I'll ask at my next appointment. It really doesn't make any sense to me.
I am drinking milk every morning (well... eating it with my cereal). I'm trying to eat a really balanced diet.
persimmon / 1135 posts
@winniebee: I'm just curious about the extra calories... why exactly are they needed? I haven't added calories to my intake and am now 33 weeks and doing great (and feeling awesome). I was overweight to begin with, so maybe that makes a difference. I'm not restricting myself intentionally, just eating as I normally would in a healthy manner. I feel like, as long as I'm eating a well-balanced diet and the baby is measure on track (he's perfect!) there's no reason to eat more just for the sake of extra calories.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@MegWag: I'm not sure what the reasoning is (and maybe it depends on BMI pre-pregnancy), but my doctor told me that in first trimester, consume 100 more calories a day and in second trimester, 300 more a day.
@pastemoo: I know you said your chest has gone up 4 sizes....that could easily be 5-10 lbs!!! Then, there's another 10....1 for the baby, 1-2 for extra fluid and placenta, so you probably have only truly gained like 7 lbs elsewhere and that could be bloating and a few extra pounds of padding : )
persimmon / 1135 posts
@winniebee: Thanks. It must vary from person to person. I can see how someone who was very slim to start with would need to watch calorie intake more.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
@winniebee: Aww thanks.
Turns out I needed an urgent appt with my doc, so I'll that today, too. I'll let you know what he/she says. (It's actually the doc covering for my regular doc, not sure who exactly it is).
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@pastemoo: Hope everything is ok - keep us posted...
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
Let us know what the doctor says and just keep thinking "This is only temporary". That's been my trick to getting through it.
cantaloupe / 6146 posts
Hmm. Well, I had another appt yesterday and the doc wants me back in a few weeks to do some blood tests and weigh me again since I'm still gaining and just eating regular and healthy foods. I think maybe baby is made of dark matter. 
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