We found out with LO1, but I've been kicking around the idea of being TG with LO2. This is definitely our last baby, so I at least wanted to consider it.
If you were on the fence, what did you ultimately decide? What swayed you one way or the other?
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TG?
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@Mrs. D: team green, not finding out gender until birth.
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I was TG for our first, but always knew I would be and really never wavered. But I was on the fence about our second. We opted to find out this time, partly to experience it both ways. I'm glad we did it both ways, but TG was really very special!
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@Applesandbananas: thanks I forgot there were people who didn't want to know lol
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My only advice is if you are unsure, wait to find out until you are 100% certain because you can't unknow it! I was on the fence about finding out with our second because we tried to be TG with out first and it was ruined during a late ultrasound. The moment we found out with our second I was disappointed. I think it totally takes away some of the anticipation and excitement.
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@Applesandbananas: dooooooo it. TG is super fun!
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@Foodnerd81: that's so interesting! We were
with LO, and I never questioned it. I sorta wonder if I will be the same way for our next LO, though (who I'm not even pregnant with, lol). I have toyed around with the idea of finding out with #2, but I'm not sure what we will do.
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@LovelyPlum: did it drive everyone around you crazy? That's one of the cons for me, I don't really want everyone to pester us about it! And we have an almost 3 year old, so the other thing I'm bouncing around is, would it help him understand if he knew brother vs sister?
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@Applesandbananas: I have a few friends who were TG with their second and their 2 year olds just accepted that this is how it is- they were excited to find out if it was a brother or sister. On the flip side, my LO loves to tell everyone she was having a baby sister. When we were TG a few people got annoyed but since it's pretty common in my circle it wasn't too bad.
@LovelyPlum: well Dh wanted to find out the first time and I said maybe the second time. But also the timing of the second pregnancy was a little surprising it was nice to know the sex at least. Plus all the usual reasons to find out (names, figuring it clothes, etc).
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I was TG for both...was more on the fence for my second but ultimately stayed TG and am so glad that I did. No moment in my life will ever compare to the two times DH told me we had a baby girl. As for others, some people were confused and thought it was strange we didn't want to know but no one really bugged us. We got a lot of positive comments actually from older people.
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@Charm54: yes, old people love TG!
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We were TG until about 34 weeks. I developed GD and was being seen by lots of new people and having weekly ultrasounds. I was worried we would find out accidentally. We told our parents and friends in person.
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@Applesandbananas: a little? But to be honest, my whole family didn't want to know until she was born, so it helped there. I do wonder about helping LO understand, though. That's the one reason I might not do it. But then again, maybe not?
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I've been TG for all three and LOVE IT!!! It hasn't really driven anyone around us crazy, they all think it's awesome as it's a fun surprise for them too - I mean seriously, how much more exciting is it to see "It's a ______!" than it is to see "Baby boy/girl is here!"
As for the older sibling - my 3.5 yr old and 2 yr old know there is a baby in mummy's belly but haven't even asked if it's a boy or girl, nor have they expressed any interest when I've tried to talk about the difference.I know a few people who have been TG for at least one of their pregnancies and found out for another one, and every single one of them said they wished they had been TG with all of their babies as the excitement of finding out early doesn't even begin to compare to the level of excitement of finding out at birth.
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@Ree723: ahh you're a good salesman!! DH didn't want to find out with LO1, but I was desperate to know and this time, he's like eh let's find out and I'm like eh let's not, maybe?
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We were on the fence, but one of my good friends told me how much she enjoyed her TG experience, and how finding out the sex of her baby right at birth was such an amazing moment for her and her husband. She was so passionate and convincing we decided we'd for sure be TG, too!
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We found out with our first and we were team green with our second. I felt more connected to the baby when I knew before hand so with our third we decided to find out asap. Being team green was a fun experience and we are glad we are able to say that we've done it but prefer to find out the sex.
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We were TG with our first but didn't have the amazing experience of finding out the gender together at birth so we'll be finding out with our next one.
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@petunia354: why didn't you have the amazing experience?
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We were team green last time and will do it again this time. You just don't get many fun surprises as a grown up and not knowing made it really special and exciting!
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We were TG and on the fence about it. We decided to find out at the last minute. DH didn't want to find out more than I wanted to know so I was giving it to him.
I am really happy that we found out. I had a hard time emotionally connecting in my pregnancy and finding out the gender helped. Plus I think finding out the gender before the baby is born is the only time you get to truly celebrate if you are having a son or daughter. It's fun when you find out to imagine what your family will be like with him or her. If you don't find out you will be too consumed with just having a baby there.
I told DH on the second one we can go TG since he wanted it, but decided not to. He liked finding out for all the reasons above.
I wasn't TG but still feel like I had a lot of surprising and overwhelming emotional experiences that I don't feel like I would be missing out on if I wasn't.
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@Eko: how far along were you when you found out?
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@Applesandbananas: Emergency c section, I was under general anesthesia and DH wasn't allowed in the OR, so he found out as they wheeled DS down to the Nicu and I found out when I woke up in recovery.
I so wish I could have experienced it in the delivery room with my DH!
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@Applesandbananas: I'll let you know. DH knows, and I don't. I'm 22 weeks right now... we'll see how long he/I hold out.
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This is my third pregnancy, FIs first bio child. I have a boy and a girl, so we are TG with this baby.
Some days I find it harder than others, at the moment it's ok though. Leading up to the 20 week scan I just wanted to know!! We are almost 25 weeks now, so I really want to stick it out. FI is doing a lot better than me at TG.
In my moments of weakness, I look videos up on YouTube where people were TG and find out the sex in the delivery room. It makes me so motivated to stick it out. I want a photo or video of my reaction when LO is born
Everyone has been really good about TG, I get a lot of 'good on you' for not finding out from the older generation.
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Is it strange that this thread makes me want a 3rd baby? lol I've never been team green but I think you should do it! It sounds exciting!
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@youboots: Made it to my anatomy scan at 20 weeks. One of the perks of being on the fence is that I wasn't anxious or counting down the days until I found out.
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@iheartleopardprint: But you can't un-TG now, can you? The ultrasound is over, the chance to find out is gone, right?
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I wanted to wait for LO 2 but my husband told me he wanted to find out around week 15. He doesn't ever have strong opinions about stuff like this and I was already impatient so we had an early ultrasound.
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@pastemoo: we have a 3D booked for a few weeks time! We didn't book it to find out the sex, just to have a peek at bub's cuteness, I think once we get past that I will be fine
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@iheartleopardprint:
Aww!
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We were TG for our first, and I'm glad we did it. I will say that it caused me some anxiety due to needing 2 sets of names, not really being able to buy clothes, my brain having trouble envisioning what it would be like once baby arrived. This time, we knew we wanted to find out. Thought it would be easier to bond, focus on one set of names, tell DS about the baby, know whether we were reusing clothes or buying new, etc. For us, it was still a huge surprise to find out what it is ahead of time. If you do go TG, people around you will understand. xo
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I wavered with our second (after being TG with our first). We moved across the country at 34 weeks, and orchestrating that with a 1.5 year old was crazy. I had an ultrasound at 32 weeks and debated finding out then and wondered if knowing the sex might make things feel more certain in one aspect of life at least! I'm glad we held out for TG. I love encountering each baby as an individual without preconceived expectations or gendered ideas from everyone. I love the moment after we find out, meeting this entirely new-to-us person. Zero regrets.
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I wanted to be TG but DH wanted to know so we found out. I didn't feel strongly one way or another.
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I was a TG drop out, but found out when it was the right time for me and in my own way. Just when I decided I wanted to know everyone around me became less vocal about their displeasure of not knowing. Ha!
Stay TG as long as you want. You don't have to decided rightaway.
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We thought about doing the TG thing this time around (found out with our first)... but in the end we decided not to. I'm kind of glad. I had a bit of a preference for a girl (really wanted my daughter to have a sister!!!) and I felt strongly that it was a girl. Turns out it's a boy! Glad to know early so we can get used to the idea
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I found out with my first and wanted to be TG with my second. While it was fun knowing and being able to "plan" with my first, nothing will EVER beat the moment we found out it was a girl in the delivery room. It was pure magic. For me personally, finding out at the u/s just didn't have the same level of excitement. No one gave us a hard time about waiting. It just added to the excitement/anticipation. I was a little worried that I wouldn't have enough outfits for the second baby, but people went CRAZY buying us stuff once she was born so it all worked out. That being said do you have a strong gender preference? A friend of mine was TG and was convinced she was having a boy, and admitted she was slightly disappointed when she gave birth to a girl. She'll be finding out with her next because it took her a while to bond with that baby.
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I really wanted to be Team Green but my husband was passionate about finding out in order to feel more bonded with the baby. We stuck a compromise; We found out at the 20 week ultrasound but have kept it a secret. At that point everyone knew we were Team Green so people stopped asking(or if they do I just answer it will be surprise) Part of the reason why I wanted to be Team Green was to avoid gendered ideas from my family (my friends would respect my desire for gender neutrals but my family would go crazy on the pink princess stuff it was a girl). We've decided to surprise my family with a gender reveal at my baby shower though and I can't wait to see their reactions!
with LO, and I never questioned it. I sorta wonder if I will be the same way for our next LO, though (who I'm not even pregnant with, lol). I have toyed around with the idea of finding out with #2, but I'm not sure what we will do.
As for the older sibling - my 3.5 yr old and 2 yr old know there is a baby in mummy's belly but haven't even asked if it's a boy or girl, nor have they expressed any interest when I've tried to talk about the difference.
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