Hellobee Boards

First of all, congratulations! Also, your betas are great! I'm an occasional lurker on the IVF boards and was excited to see your news. Pregnancy after IF definitely sucks a lot of the joy out of what should be a very exciting time. I always thought that after I got a positive it would be smooth sailing...however, it definitely wasn't, especially since I had a previous mc. Honestly, the worry and anxiety for me lasted the ENTIRE pregnancy, I was always waiting for bad news...I mean, I was lucky enough to finally be pregnant after so many years, how could something not go wrong? At first I thought that getting through the first trimester would alleviate some of my fears...then it was getting to viability, then it was to delivery. It's completely normal and unfortunately, I don't really have any advice for dealing with it other than to take every day one at a time and to know that it's normal to worry. And, truthfully, now that I have two beautiful amazing girls, now I worry something could happen to them.
Good luck! And, I do hope that you're able to find some peace and able to enjoy a bit of the pregnancy

@Amorini: Congrats!!! Yay! I'm so happy for you. I completely understand how the worry is always there. Pretty much the entire pregnancy, I always braced myself for the floor to drop out. It wasn't a ton of stress (a lot of people would comment how calm I was with all the pregnancy complications I had) but more like I knew there was nothing I could do if I started losing one or both of my babies. Like after the 3 years of seeing BFNs, I was just used to bad news. Honestly, it's still pretty surreal that these two babies in my arms are mine and they are almost 5 months old. I love them to death and now can't see my life without them but it's still so shocking that I made these guys and through IVF, too. (Yeah, I try not to think about how much I spent.) I think that's why I feel a teeny tiny bit of distance from them because I think I was never ever overly (jumping up and down) excited because I had to prepare myself to hear bad news. Oh, I was definitely excited to be finally pregnant and then find out both took and both ended up making it until 34 weeks until I delivered. Having IF definitely took a little part of me. I think being disappointed for 3 years kinda changed me and how I look at life. That thinking was ingrained in my head. I did enjoy my pregnancy as much as I could. Took it day by day. Tried not to complain (it was hard when I had HG) because I thought about others still in the IF journey. Oh, even now with the babies here, I worry about SIDS, pediatric cancer and anything else that pops up in the news. I think a higher power could take one of these babies from me at anytime.

Anyway, I'm so glad you revived and created a new thread. I'll be definitely following you and others in you guys journey!! So excited and happy for you guys!!

ETA: I do need to get back to acupuncture. The excessive worry is starting to creep back in.

This is a wonderful idea! I'll post more when I have a second but I feel the same way!

@YogiRunner: it's so crazy how far along we are! How are doing?

I agree, once you can start to feel the baby more frequently it feels more real. Although sometimes that pessimistic side of me says it's just gas

@Amorini: so glad you started this!! I could not agree more. I too thought a positive would be amazing (don't get me wrong, it totally is) but after a quick second of shock, the worry set in big time. I don't feel quite ready for due date board...maybe after my first u/s on the 10th which will be 6wk3d?? My betas have been great 1210 (18dp5dt) 4755 (22dpt) and 9377 (24dpt) all with a 48 hr doubling time...buuuuut it still doesn't feel real...cautiously optimistic may be the feeling for a very long time. DH and I haven't really "celebrated" yet, which is kind of sad but again like @ms.line said, being in the IF world you hear of so many terrifying things. I hope we continue to get nothing but positive news (the same goes for everyone on the IF board)!!!!

@Amorini: Thank you for starting up this thread! I'm 11 weeks right now and still suffering from extreme post traumatic IF syndrome. I'm finally in my last week of twice-daily PIO shots and will be "graduating" from my RE's office next Wednesday. I will say that the first and only appointment I've ever been more excited than dreadful/nervous at was last week when the baby was actually moving all around during the ultrasound and I saw two arms and two legs. Every ultrasound before that I just dreaded and was able to find something "wrong" with an otherwise perfect ultrasound. If I lose this baby, I will suffer the sadness of losing this baby, plus all the money to put us even more into debt if we wanted to try again, and these damn paralyzing painful PIO shots. If nothing else, I would need to take a serious break before "trying" again because I don't think my back, hips, sciatic nerves can take much more of these shots and I even think I'm handling the shots better than the few other IRL IVF girls who I've talk to about it. Also - for some reason I didn't think that I would be reaching the 3% miscarriage percentage until I reached 13 weeks. So that's the time I'm really hoping that the excitement can settle in for me. Phew. Rant over.

In sum, true excitement came for me at 11 weeks and I'm finally feeling a little more comfortable.

@TeamJH: Extra HPTs didn't really help me. I over analyzed the darkness of the line. One of my digitals said 2-3 weeks when I thought it should have said 3+ weeks. So I really don't advise getting more HPTs.

@TeamJH: By the way, congratulations on your pregnancy!

@Amorini: Thanks for the comment, it really is a milestone! And please stop looking up that stuff. Yes, your eggs came from a 39 year old girl. So don't look at the 40y.o. statistics. And yes, once you hear that heart beat, the risk drops quite a bit. And try not to worry too much (as said by someone who has worried a lot). There is seriously always going to be something to worry about. I nearly cried this morning thinking about the potential cars my baby would be driven around in by various potential babysitters and was crying to my husband that they aren't safe enough and baby will die in a crash! Ummm... honestly. There will always be something to worry about.

@Mrs. Pinky: THRILLED beyond belief for you.

I'm about to hit 10 weeks on Friday, which seems like a huge milestone for me. My symptoms have lessened in the last week or so, so I am getting really anxious that something bad has happened. My next appointment is 2/23.

@Amorini: it'll be here before you know it!!
Thanks everyone!! I'm a fraternal twin, so my mom will be a good resource
@mrsjd, @caly,@mrskrb: thank you thank you! I'm still cautiously optimistic. Our next u/s is not until the 19th!

@Amorini: good luck today! Let us know how it goes!! I'm sure everything will be fine, sounds like things are a little irritated. Can't wait for you to see the little blueberry! It's surreal!

Hi everyone! I'm so glad I came across this board as a "graduate" of the IVF board, but someone not quite ready to take the leap to the October due date board..this is a great middle ground. Today marks 5 weeks, 4 days and we had another u/s and beta/progesterone blood draw today. While I've been reassured over and over that the OHSS (severe case) won't have an impact on our little bean, I can't help but be worried. Also, at todays scan it seemed like it took a lot longer than expected to find the sack and yolk sack. The dr. did find one, though he's "looking for a second sack". He seems pretty confident that he's going to find more than one, though I didn't seem to be far enough along today to get a clear enough picture. That was definitely a stressful u/s!

@Amorini: Thinking of you today! I'm sure all is well. Keep thinking positive thoughts! Looking forward to hearing u/s update too!

@Mrs. Pinky: Yayyyy!!! Twins!!! Are you excited? Terrified? I was always terrified at the thought of having twins but after everything we've gone through with IF, I'm definitely more open to it. How far along are you/when did they discover it was twins?

@Mrs. Pinky: I'm about 10 days behind you 5 weeks and 4 days today. Next u/s is at 7 weeks. Nice having someone just a step or two ahead of me! Waiting on beta numbers to come back today but not too worried about it. If anything, I'm "curious" about why my progesterone is so high (last bw it was 478 I believe). Random question, are u/s any more or less fuzzy if your bladder is full vs. empty?

@waiting4you: I always have an empty bladder and my scans have been crystal clear.