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Pregnancy After IF Support Group #2

  1. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts

    @mrsjd: I'm lurking because I'm newly pregnant after 14 months of trying but got pregnant before starting treatment. I have had some funky blood test results before pregnancy while in my 20s (my neutraphil and lymphocyte counts were low). My internist sent me to a hematologist just to rule out any problems and it turned out to be a lab error for me. My internist's office used a lab that had machines to count the various cell counts and for some reason it didn't pick up on mine. The hematologist's lab had a person who manually did the counting and my levels were in fact normal. My internist later told me that my case was used in a meeting with all of the physician's at the practice as to why they needed to switch labs since I was a healthy 20 something. Anyways, the point of all of that is that you might want to get another test before you start freaking out...

  2. agold

    grapefruit / 4032 posts

    @YogiRunner: Thanks for reminding us about the importance of staying hydrated! I hope you are feeling okay. And wow. You are 30+ weeks. When is your due date?

    @mrsjd: I'm so sorry you are having platelet and iron issues. Has the doctor expressed any serious concern?

  3. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    I know that it has been awhile since a lot of you ladies posted, but I need the support. It's hard to post on the other preggo boards when they haven't been through this.

    How did you all stay sane during what feels like another two week wait? My 2nd beta was awesome on Monday and now I have to wait until our ultrasound on the 30th. Also, those that did IVF, when was your first doctor or nurse practitioner appointment? My RE said to not worry about it right now and just schedule the confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound on the 30th.

  4. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @NorthStar: I'm here with you (and in the feb group).

    I didn't do IVF, but have been doing hormonal treatments. We've been trying for more than two years and have had two losses

    The wait until the US is killing me too (mine is the 27th). I've considered looking for a doctor that will see me a little earlier (I'm not sure I want to stay with my doctor anyway).

  5. BSB

    hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts

    @NorthStar: For me, I was already seeing an acupuncturist for fertility and general anxiety, so I when I got overwhelmed and anxious, I saw her. I was seeing her every week so my anxiety was somewhat controlled. Good luck. Fingers crossed for you!

    Maybe go to the beach or the pool to try to relax and not think of it?

    What about listening to mediation CDs or Circle and Bloom? I think quieting my mind helps me from overthinking and make my anxiety worse.

  6. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @MaryM: I was super excited to see that you are pregnant as I've followed your journey. I don't have any losses; however, understand the feeling of being freaked out of the unknown. Our ultrasounds seem like ages away, but I have to remember that any sooner and they wouldn't likely see anything. At my ultrasound, I will be 7 weeks. I'm not even sure if I should expect to see a heartbeat? It's been so long since I was last pregnant that I don't remember (DD is 4 years old).

    It wouldn't hurt to see a doctor (if they will take you) in the meantime. They might not be able to do an ultrasound, but maybe you can push to at least see a sac. Thinking of you! We are in this together!

  7. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @bluestriped bee: Thanks for responding! I am seeing an acupuncturist and will be going again tomorrow. I don't feel too anxious, but just afraid of the ultrasound and if everything will be ok. I'm sure that feeling will intensify as we get closer.

  8. sweetooth

    nectarine / 2705 posts

    @NorthStar: I'm an IF grad, but I wanted to reach out because I know that the support I received here on HB was part of what got me through this "additional 2ww" you speak of. It is hard when you're on your due date board and so many of the moms got pregnant without assistance. I think the best advice I can give is to keep busy. Definitely hold on to the highs of those climbing betas. And let yourself feel that joy of pregnancy. I continued to meditate. And when I kept busy, those 2 weeks were over before I knew it and I was in that room where I had so many empty ultrasounds, looking at a tiny little flicker in my belly Love and luck to you!

  9. agold

    grapefruit / 4032 posts

    @NorthStar: Congrats on your pregnancy! Im 30 weeks today following my FET. I still feel raw from the anxiety I felt in the first half of this pregnancy. I really hope that you can try to relax. If there is nothing to cause you worry (like cramping or bleeding), then try to just be happy and be pregnant!!

    That being said, I experienced very little joy after the initial phone call confirming the pregnancy. Just so much nervousness, although not to the extent that I needed to seek help beyond my husband's calming support. I just tried to stay busy with work. I didn't feel relief until the ultrasound where the baby was big enough to be kicking her legs around. Somewhere around 10 weeks.

    Regarding first doctor appointments.. I stayed with my RE until 12 weeks. I did blood tests every two days until my beta got to 1000. Once it reached that point, I did an ultrasound once a week. I went to my regular OB at 10 weeks. Weekly ultrasounds were nice to confirm the baby was still there. I had bleeding all throughout first trimester so I always worried about that and everything else.

    As for seeing the heart beat... I "saw" the heartbeat at our second ultrasound which was 26dp6dt or 6w4d. We "heard" the heart beat at our third ultrasound which was 7w4d.

  10. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @agold: Thank you! I think that I'm feeling the same things that you did early in your pregnancy. It's just so hard to believe that a miracle has happened. I haven't even cried in joy at all. I feel so disconnected from it, but I know that it will take time. My betas have been great: 1,318 on 13DPT and the doctor has been very happy. I just have to trust that she knows best and I know that i'll feel better once we get past the first ultrasound.

    Thank you for your support! I am so happy to be on the other side.

  11. agold

    grapefruit / 4032 posts

    @NorthStar: Yes, disconnect describes it perfectly. I kept thinking "no way that this is going to work out for ME." It will just take you a while to shake this feeling you are having. Of course, new worries will come! But the worries I have now feel like normal pregnant girl worries, and not IVF pregnant girl worries. With your amazing beta numbers... and no bleeding or cramping... I think that you should just be on top of the world!! On my next pregnancy I'm going to try my best to not worry about all the things I worried about during this one.

  12. dookie32

    kiwi / 538 posts

    @NorthStar: UGH I'm sorry that you have to wait so long for your US :(. I was spoiled since my RE did a weekly beta and US after the positive test. Honestly I'm not sure it helped all that much- those first few weeks are just really sucky so hang in there! Good news is you should definitely be able to see the heartbeat by the US- I think we saw it around 6.5 weeks. I was released to my regular OB and stopped my meds around 8 weeks.

    What helped me was going to therapy- I started around 6 weeks. Besides just talking through the anxiety my therapist encouraged me to stay off the internet as much as possible since that seems to be a big trigger for me going down the rabbit hole with negative thoughts. I have really stuck to that with the exception of our HB IVF thread and my month board. It was also good to distract myself with something non-baby related- we are doing a kitchen remodel so I really focused on researching that.

    Sending good thoughts your way- hopefully you start feeling like crap soon to give you some piece of mind :).

  13. Amorini

    persimmon / 1132 posts

    @NorthStar: Congrats again on getting to this point! Oh wow, you do have quite the wait. My first u/s was at 7w and then 9w, but I had a third beta at 20dp5dt so my overall wait was 10 days. Probably like your RE, my RE does them "later" so you can have the best chance of seeing the HB at that 7w point which we did. I agree with the others on ways to manage anxiety during the wait. I continued with the stress management things that helped me through IVF, like acupuncture, connecting with others on HB and just trying to be in the present and not get too far ahead of myself. I also figured that continuing to have increasing pregnancy symptoms and no bleeding or cramping was a sign that things were progressing. I know that's naive but I figured I had already beaten tremendous odds so I figured that the statistics were on my side from here on. I distracted myself a ton, had busy days at work and also binge watched my first ever complete season of The Bachelor. Whatever it took to completely absorb myself for a little while and stop analyzing whether the pregnancy would stick! Seriously, watching the stress and anxiety of the contestants on The Bachelor made me glad to have my problems and not theirs!

    Practically speaking, perhaps you could request another beta one week from your last one, just to close the gap and give you some assurances that things are progressing. At some point, the number will stop doubling but it would be about seeing progress. I also didn't feel the "joy of pregnancy" so much in the beginning. I think I was just amazed that IVF works and worked for us. I had these one second joyous moments and then got back to being focused on other stuff. Good or bad, that's just my way of coping in what feels like emotional survival mode. Now nearing 25w, I'm just beginning to have longer stretches of joyous moments as the baby gets more active. I am finding that connecting to the pregnancy is a process for me. I wish it could be so instantaneous like it seems to be for others, but I'm very grateful to even experience 25w of pregnancy and feel this kid kicking around. Hoping for another good week of positive signs and then another... and wishing the same for you! Just let yourself feel what you need to feel and allow yourself to cry, be scared, be happy and all the rest without getting stuck too much on the stress...

    ETA: Oh, I had my first regular OB visit at 10w, so I had scans two weeks in a row at that point. That was very reassuring!

    @MaryM: Congrats on your pregnancy! I have followed your story and I was so happy to see that got your BFP. I know it has been such a rough road, and while I haven't been in your shoes, I can only imagine the uncertainty you must be feeling. I hope that you can get yourself in the care of a great OB who can give you the extra betas and scans and whatever you need to get through these early days. One thing I have grown to appreciate through all of this IF stuff is that some MDs are great at being technicians and problem solvers (yay for them!) and other MDs really understand how to support their patients on the emotional roller coasters of IF healthcare. I'm projecting from my own experience perhaps but it sounds like you know you'll need more support than what your current OB will offer. Hope you get that very soon!

  14. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @NorthStar: Oh gosh, those two week waits are so hard. I feel like I'm constantly in a TWW every fortnight between OB appts. Torture! x

  15. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @MaryM: So very, very happy to see you here.

  16. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @agold: 30 weeks, OMG!

  17. agold

    grapefruit / 4032 posts

    @jaguar: I know, right?? So crazy! How far along are you?

    @NorthStar: Ditto what @dookie32: said. Stay off the internet!

  18. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts

    @NorthStar: I spent that month between my positive test and my first ultrasound at 8 weeks ordering furniture for my house... lots and lots of furniture! Nothing like retail therapy! My positive test coincided with a slow period at work, which was unfortunate since it just gave me more time to freak out.

  19. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @agold: 23 weeks tomorrow, I feel like time is standing still!

    @Shantuck: I like shopping as a distraction.

  20. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @Shantuck: haha! I love that way to pass the time! My husband probably wouldn't like it so much .. LOL

    @agold: @Amorini: I feel like I'm doing a good job and not doing any internet searching. I don't really have any syptoms, but I didn't with DD either. Work is super busy, so that definitely helps! I also have to go out of town for a few days just before the ultrasound. Realistically, the ultrasound will be here before I know it.

    @dookie32: I burst out laughing at your last comment! I hope I start feeling like crap soon too!

  21. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    Sitting here hoping this is a sign...

  22. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @MaryM: I'd say YES!

  23. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts

    @NorthStar: Ha! Lucky for me, my husband was thrilled! We had moved into a new house from a small condo 9 months earlier and with working full time and spending all my free time dealing with trying to get pregnant (weekly acupuncture appointments, researching treatments, etc), I just had nothing left for home decor pursuits. It was like I regained time for hobbies after I stopped all the infertility crap! It's like somebody presses a big "pause" button on your life for awhile when you're in it.

  24. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts


  25. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @Shantuck: oh my gosh, I totally get that! We built our house 3 years ago and I still have SO much decorating to do. I don't even know where to start..completely overwhelming, but now I will have time to figure that out. lol.

  26. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @MaryM: Wow, so beautiful! What a view! Is that from your home?

  27. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @NorthStar: it's from my brother/mom's house. It's where I grew up. My mom has a small house on the property and my brothers family lives in the original house.

  28. BSB

    hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts

    @MaryM: Definitely!

  29. Ajsmommy

    pomegranate / 3355 posts

    Hi there! I'm going to join although I had planned to hold off a bit. I am 5w4d with lo#2. A little background: I am 39, was diagnosed with DOR (high FSH, low AMH), we did fertility treatments for 5 cycles starting dec 2015-april 2016. All bfn's. We did TI and IUI's. I gave myself injections and pills and vaginal suppositories that created green and blue discharge I went to so many appts for ultrasounds and more blood work than I ever imagined. I grew to have SO MUCH respect for couples who do IVF.. you are just amazing, really amazing!!!!

    Anyhow, i went to a second clinic for a second opinion and they offered mini ivf's but DH and decided no more, we decided to stop treatment. I did a lot of praying and working through the decision and I started to open up and tell people when they'd ask about us having another. I'd tell them we tried but it didn't look like it was going to work out for us. We'd be a family of three and be happy that way.

    Well, it was my first unmedicated cycle since dec 2015 and it was longggg. I just figured my body was trying to get back into it's normal groove. But on cd34 right before bed I decided to POAS (since i still have a stash of cheapies) and I sh!t you not... the line showed up instantly.. I was shocked, shaking and about to pass out. I thought for sure i was seeing things or the tests had gone bad.

    The next morning was still BFP so I went in and had blood work done to confirm. And sure enough HCG 649, Progesterone 35.... what the what??? I'm pregnant?!?! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. Unbelievable. I swear.

    I thought my chances were less than 0 without intervention and then this. I'm not a hugely religious person and sorry if this offends anyone but i feel like this was truly "let go and let god" and it worked.....

    Guys i had even purchased a book about having only one child and how it was a good thing!!!! It arrived the day after my bfp!??!?!

    So here i am. Now i worry. The chances of miscarriage a looming heavy on my mind. I am not looking at any statistics and I'm not googling anything about being 39 and pregnant.. about having DOR or low AMH..... but the worry is real. I was blissfully naïve with i was pg with DD. I didn't know all the sad/bad stories and what can and does happen.

    I am happy to join this thread and I'm looking forward to this journey....

  30. Amorini

    persimmon / 1132 posts

    @Ajsmommy: Whoa! Big congrats! What a journey. I got my first ever BFP (thanks to IVF) earlier this year when I was 39 .... turned 40 a few weeks later. All I can say is just hang on (you, too, little bean!) and believe that if this is meant to be, it will be. I figured we had overcome so many odds that if we got a BFP, it would just have to workout despite the statistics on age, etc. Naive optimism is not my norm but I just have to put my brain in a rosy place to get through this. 26w now, feeling 30 and blissfully believing that age is just a number (while taking every AMA precaution!). It seems to be working...

    You've gotten this far! Hoping it all just continues to work out for you and the little bean!

    ETA: How many weeks are you now?

  31. Ajsmommy

    pomegranate / 3355 posts

    @Amorini: I am currently 5w4d

  32. dookie32

    kiwi / 538 posts

    @NorthStar: Thinking of you today! Hope everything goes well :).

  33. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @dookie32: Thanks! I'll update this afternoon! I'm nervous and hope that the ultrasound tech shows us something. We are doing it locally so that we don't have to drive 2+ hours to our RE for it.

  34. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @NorthStar: Good luck!

  35. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    Thank you for the good wishes! One baby (whew!), heartbeat of 142 and measuring 6 weeks, 6 days. I forgot to ask about my due date, but I'm sure my RE will call me later once she gets the scans (had the ultrasound done locally). I still don't believe it's real. I know that I should, but man, this is a lot of process. What a journey it has been..

  36. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @NorthStar: YAY!!!

    At 8w5d my due date is Feb. 5, so I'd guess you're around Feb. 20

  37. agold

    grapefruit / 4032 posts

    @NorthStar: Congratulations! That is so amazing to have nice ultrasound confirmation. I hope you can rest easy now. And for what its worth, my RE never gave me a due date! I never asked, but he never offered.

  38. dookie32

    kiwi / 538 posts

    @NorthStar: AWESOME!!! So happy for you :). I can only speak for myself but 24 weeks I still don't feel like I've accepted the reality that there will be another human in my house in a few months. I think it will hit me when the doctor says "Here is your baby!" and hands me my little boy :).

  39. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @agold: My doctor flat out guessed mine when I saw him (the ultrasound wasn't good enough to get a good measurement)

    He guessed Feb. 9. The teacher I go to for charting said based on my chart and when I ovulated, she'd say the 8th.

  40. NorthStar

    pear / 1881 posts

    @MaryM: @agold: @dookie32: Thanks! I think that it is roughly Feb 16th based upon my transfer date and blast age. It's definitely a huge relief..I'm still waiting to hear from my RE (hopefully she calls today). At least we saw a heartbeat and that in itself makes me feel much better.

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