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Pregnant after loss chat

  1. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    @mrsjd: !!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!

  2. Zbug

    persimmon / 1355 posts

    @mrsjd: yay! Great news.

  3. Litebrite

    cherry / 174 posts

    @mrsjd: yay, so glad to hear!

  4. Autumnmama79

    pear / 1703 posts

    @mrsjd: Yay! Great news

  5. AprilFool

    nectarine / 2591 posts

    @Autumnmama79: It's still sporadic so every time it happens I get a nice little shock

    @Pirouette: Good luck with your appt and looking forward to seeing a safe little bean in there!

    @mrsjd: Yay!!! Awesome news.

  6. Pirouette

    pomegranate / 3331 posts

    @AprilFool: thanks!!

    @mrsjd: yay!! Awesome!!

  7. mrsjd

    clementine / 777 posts

    Thank you so much to everyone who chimed in with congratulations on my ultrasound! It means lot to have your support and I know you recognize what a huge milestone it is for someone who never got to this step last time.

    For those who are currently pregnant and farther ahead than me (8 weeks 3 days), was there a point you began to feel comfortable or more relaxed? Despite all day nausea and first trimester weight loss, it's hard for me to believe that I'm really pregnant. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    Because of this, I'm really reluctant to share my news with anyone -my dad doesn't know yet, for example. Added to this complication is that a close family member recently shared their pregnancy news and their due day is very close to mine. They haven't had a loss (to my knowledge) and they seem blissfully innocent. I feel bad that they've told me but that I haven't told them.

  8. sslm

    cantaloupe / 6397 posts

    @mrsjd: I'm 27 weeks today, and I've had two losses in the past (one before my DD, one before this pregnancy). I have felt slightly less anxious since I started feeling baby movement. Now that I feel him throughout the day, I find myself feeling a little more relaxed. The other point that helped a bit was when the midwife could find the HB on the doppler at every appointment! You're close to that milestone

  9. Autumnmama79

    pear / 1703 posts

    @mrsjd: I too had the same hesitations about sharing my news. I wasn't blissfully happy to be pregnant- I was terrified!! We told our families at 4 months, I waited until after 20 weeks to tell my colleagues. It was hard but I just really wasn't comfortable sharing any earlier. They all suspected as I was clearly showing by 4 months, nonetheless, I kept it to myself.

    To be honest, the point I started to feel comfortable was about 22 weeks. Baby starting moving tons and I could see it from the outside! I still have my moments of worry but I'm doing a better job of trusting my body.

    Hugs to you

  10. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    @mrsjd: I had a good scan today (10w4d) and am hugely relieved, which I wasn't after my 8-1 scan. To my surprise am feeling suddenly hopeful about everything, which is brand new, as of a few hours ago. definitely don't have a cavalier everything's-great Pollyanna shtick, but I no longer feel totally scared shitless. just kind of normal/alert scared. we're getting there
    As for telling people, I hear you on feeling reluctant, but everyone can wait! you don't owe your relative anything, and she'll be nothing but happy for you whenever you are ready to share. if you do want to tell your dad and you'd want his support good or bad, maybe go ahead? but he's an A-lister, it sounds like

    @Autumnmama79: the concept of trusting your body has NEVER occurred to me. I have been so deeply suspicious all this time--sounds ridiculous but it's true. thank you for introducing the idea

  11. mrsjd

    clementine / 777 posts

    @LCTBQE: it gives me such joy to hear this from you! I saw your good news earlier and I'm thrilled you got to see the Bebe and he or she was perfect. I think I'll continue to just try to manage my expectations. I've got no real reason to worry and I just need to focus on work and other stuff right now. You're right about people can wait. I'm going to decide when I feel comfortable and then share. Dad and I aren't super close (not like my mom who already knows) so I will likely wait until after my genetic testing at 11 weeks. I'll explain to my pregnant relative when the time comes. They'll understand and if they don't, they suck.

    I too love the idea of trusting ones body. I think the mind body connection is pretty powerful and just believeing in yourself is huge.

  12. Litebrite

    cherry / 174 posts

    @mrsjd: I agree with others. Do what is right for you in terms of telling others and don't feel obligated to tell anyone.

    @LCTBQE: It's great you had a good scan and you are feeling some hope. You've had such a shit introduction to pregnancy, but I swear sometimes it actually works out!

    I'm at 6w. I've been feeling very suspicious and not even that anxious or worried since I partially believe this pregnancy will end the way it did last time. In my mind the NT scan at 12 weeks will be a huge milestone, so if we get to that point I'm hoping I can start being hopeful then.

  13. Zbug

    persimmon / 1355 posts

    @mrsjd: I felt better once I got past the point where the baby had stopped growing last time. I'm still anxious, but it's better. I think I will feel even better once I get my first trimester screening results and make it to the second trimester.

  14. Autumnmama79

    pear / 1703 posts

    Checking in to see how everyone is doing this week.

    I am now 7 months pregnant and I haven't bought a single thing for this babe!! I've been so paranoid about this pregnancy and scared to buy anything but now its getting close All I have saved from DD is the bugaboo and the ergo - but thats IT. I guess its finally time to get my shop on...

  15. Mrs. Champagne

    coconut / 8482 posts

    @Autumnmama79: I was doing well. But we found out on Monday that the umbilical cord is only 2 vessel instead of 3 so now I'm freaking out. The doctor said everything else looked good with the baby. But now I have to go for an echocardiogram on the baby next week and meet a genetic counsellor. That's basically all I know so far. Keeping everything crossed its just an issue with the cord and nothing else.

    I bought a few clothes last week when we found out it was a girl. Now I probably won't buy anything until I have a baby in my arms.

  16. Autumnmama79

    pear / 1703 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: That is some surprising news to get I'm sure! I remember looking that up after someone on here said they have it too and it sounds like its a complication free condition in most cases. Still scary to find out unexpected results though, I understand.

  17. Mrs. Champagne

    coconut / 8482 posts

    @Autumnmama79: thanks I feel like we had a couple days after the scan and we were so excited to be having a girl. Buying clothes. Talking names. Then we got the call on Monday and now I'm so nervous. Based on googling my husband is certain things will be ok.

    We have to go a couple hours away for the appt so we got a hotel with a nice pool since we will have to bring ds with us. Hopefully that takes our mind off things a bit.

  18. Alba4

    nectarine / 2951 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: Any news like that is scary. Hoping for a good appointment for you!

  19. Litebrite

    cherry / 174 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: Wow, sorry you got thrown a curve ball! I hope you get only good news at your appt, and take advantage of your mini get away.

    I'm at 7w. My first prenatal appt is next Friday, and hopefully we'll schedule an ultrasound at that point. I've been pretty low key the past few weeks in terms of not being terribly anxious or excited.

    I hope everyone is doing well!

  20. AprilFool

    nectarine / 2591 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: I hope you're doing ok and you get good news at your next appt. Congrats on your girl.

  21. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    Hey ladies...

    I am not sure how long I'll be pregnant for this time BUT we did see a little bebe and flickering heart beat yesterday, so I am wanting to touch base here.

    Please tell me my irrational terror (especially over yesterday's bleed) is NOT crazy?

  22. Litebrite

    cherry / 174 posts

    @jaguar: Congrats on your BFP. I hope this bean sticks around. You are not crazy! You've been through the wringer, and I'm sure it all wears you down. I hope things go smoothly for you from here and I hope the fact that your scans are looking good bring you some comfort

  23. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts

    I'm jumping in here in an effort to think positively about a very new pregnancy. I got a very faint positive test on Saturday (12 dpo) and this is my first real cycle following a late December D&C (and also following a natural miscarriage in June but I did successfully have a healthy baby in 2012). I have a diminished ovarian reserve and was about to start fertility treatment this cycle but was told the hcg from my prior pregnancy was still lingering at low levels and I needed to wait another month. So anyways, here I am trying my best to think that this time is going to be different!

  24. mrsjd

    clementine / 777 posts

    Jumping back in here and I am excited to announced that we finally got our genetic testing back and it was normal and we are having a GIRL!
    Neither of us had a true gender preference but we are thrilled since my husband's family hasn't had a girl since his grandparents' generation. Feeling beyond grateful for this little lady.

  25. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts

    @mrsjd: That's great news! Congrats! Hoping the good test results mean that you can enjoy the pregnancy a bit more!

  26. rockinghorse

    cherry / 215 posts

    Hi ladies! Jumping in this discussion a bit late, but from reading all of your posts, I am in the right place! DH and I lost our son at 20 weeks last March, and I am currently at 35 weeks with a little girl. I have been alright, bouncing around from denial to fear to optimism and everything in between. I haven't been able to look at these types of boards because it got too real/scary and got in the way of my denial, and then I started to feel confident and didn't think I needed it.

    Well, I had a breakdown this morning. I have been taking for granted feeling her move around, usually even when I get up to pee at night I wake her up and she moves a bit. Overnight I didn't take note of her moving when I woke up, and then this morning I didn't feel her right away. I scrambled out of bed and ate some candy. Didn't feel anything. Drank some cold water. Didn't feel anything. Woke up my husband who told me to eat breakfast. Started eating/sobbing into some cereal. Finally felt movement. DH brought out the doppler as well and we listened to her good heartbeat for a bit.

    Oh boy. I'm not sure what happened, but now I am just freaking out. If I don't feel her moving at all times, I panic. I was going to send a message to my OB, but I have felt her move more than 10 times an hour now for 2 hours, and it just seems silly.

    I guess all of these experiences have shown me that there is no hard and fast way to deal with PAL. You need to do whatever it is that makes you feel right. It is hard, amazing, terrifying, exciting, sad, emotional, and lonely all at the same time. You guys are all amazing, and I am sending you tons of love!

  27. Autumnmama79

    pear / 1703 posts

    @rockinghorse: so sorry you had a rough morning!! I go through many of the same feelings and emotions as you. Being pregnant after loss is really hard, every single day. We also have a Doppler that has been a lifesaver. Every time a worry starts to creep in I just get that Doppler and immediately all my fears vanish with that beautiful sound

    We are getting so close can you believe it?! I'm 34 weeks today and thankful every single day that this miracle has continued to exist inside my body.

    I hope you have a great day and that baby is annoyingly busy in there!

  28. rockinghorse

    cherry / 215 posts

    @Autumnmama79: Thanks! She has been annoyingly active I am so glad I had that extra little support from a good heart beat on the doppler, as well. I was talking to one of my preggo friends about it, and she reminded me that the worrying will not stop at birth, either! Oh boy!!!

  29. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    Poking my head in here. I'm only at 4+2 -- past the point of one CP, approaching the point of another, and we had a loss around 5.5-6 weeks so I definitely don't feel like I'm in the clear. My back is killing me today, which I find SUPER stressful because it was the hallmark of my last CP, but the test I took showed a test line as dark as the control.

    I'm trying really hard to take things one day at a time, but this gets more and more stressful every time. I just want to skip ahead and know if things will be ok or not!

  30. rockinghorse

    cherry / 215 posts

    @MrsDragon: I hear you! Sending you lots of good vibes! It seems like passing the milestone of a previous loss is a big hurdle of stress, and there is just no good way to get around it. I also looked at every sign there might be that there was something similar happening, as I think we all do.

  31. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts

    @MrsDragon: Hang in there, lady! I've been doing the same and trying to take it day by day. Prior losses can really mess with you. Just focus on getting through each day and try to find as much distraction as possible.

  32. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    @rockinghorse: @Shantuck: Thank you! Every day is another day, I guess. My specialist appointment is the same timing as the latest loss, so if I get that far it's a start.

  33. mrsmacandcheese

    blogger / clementine / 985 posts

    Aaaand I only have to survive three weeks to get to my first prenatal appointment. Just got the call today. I'm feeling more calm, sometimes, but also freaking out more the longer it goes. Trying to break it up into week-long segments -- specialist appointment, therapist appointment, prenatal appointment.

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