As we deliver and bring home our babies, I thought a postpartum thread might be nice. Here we can vent a little, talk about difficulties, and just have a safe place to let it out.
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To be honest, I am dealing with the blues. LO will be a week old tomorrow and last night they really hit hard, diving mess off and on for well over an hour. Dh was patient with me, and I know he will keep an eye out for me. We've been really busy lately and stayed home today and that seemed to help.
Nursing is going well, and I have a lactation appointment tomorrow to be proactive. LO usually does a 4 hour stretch at night and that helps me with staying positive. -
@MaisyMay: I'm glad you started this thread! I'm sorry you are dealing with the blues and hope things level out soon for you.
Things here have been an absolute nightmare honestly. DH woke up in the hospital the morning after LO was born with chills and fever. He went home and to the doc and was diagnosed with "flu-like" illness, no positive flu test but all the assorted symptoms. Then Tuesday, the day we went home, older LO woke up with terrible cough and went to pedi, she has terrible ear infection (ongoing for a month now and now a 3rd course of abx) as well as suspected pneumonia. She didn't have a chest xray to confirm b/c doc said she would just treat with the same abx. So, we came home to this den of sickness, baby and I are hiding in the master bedroom/bath, DH is wearing a mask everywhere to try and contain his germs but is worthless and sleeping/laying around the entire time. He's been to the ER once already when his fever was up super high and they confirmed it's viral and nothing to do expect wait and quarantine away from everyone else. He had a better day with no fever yesterday, but woke up at 5:45 today with the fever back up and feeling dizzy, like he can't move, etc. My mom is here but she's exhausted too, she's had a night up with DD coughing all night and then a trip to the ER with DH, and now up again with DH trying to figure out what to do with him. Baby is feeding great but all the time and no long stretches of sleep and I can't ask anyone else to help me, my mom is keeping things going with DD and DH so I feel like I have to handle 100% of the baby stuff myself and also trying to keep him germ free since I know a fever will mean automatic hospital admittance for him. So yeah, not exactly the postpartum experience I was hoping for.
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@MaisyMay: It's so tough in the beginning trying to figure it all out. Hopefully you will find your groove soon. Hang in there.
@mamabolt: Wow! I'm so so sorry you are dealing with all of this. That is very stressful and I hope that it passes really soon.
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@MaisyMay: you're doing great! Those baby blues will go away, don't worry!!
@mamabolt: oh my gosh. That's just awful!!!. I can't imagine dealing with all that and just having a baby. Just take it day by day and thank goodness your mom is there helping you guys. Hugs!!
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@mamabolt: oh no! Our ped totally guilted DH into getting his flu shot this week since he hasn't yet. I have been bugging him about it for months. Do you have any friends who can help out even for an hour or two?
@jh524: yesterday was a lot better than the day before. I warned DH that there will be bad days but I doubt either of us were expecting it to be that bad. Still having some moments, but nothing like Tuesday.
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@MaisyMay:
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@mamabolt: I am sending good, healthy thoughts, vibes, finger crossed all the good juju I can your way. You sound so strong- I can't imagine how stressed, exhausted and worried you must be. I hope you're able to rest soon and that everyone feels better fast! -
@Canoli: @jh524: @MaisyMay: @akcoffeebean: thank you all! I feel terrible coming in here and dumping out the biggest postpartum sob story ever, but it helps to talk about it! In good news, LO1 was back to doc and her ear infection is improving and her lungs sound fine. She is contested in her throat and breathing rapidly from that but overall is fine and a very low risk to LO2, just need to keep her from coughing on him.
DH was back to ER but they just confirmed still a nasty virus, expected to be 7 to 10 days, and we are 4 in so far. He moved to our family room and my mom lysoled everything so I can at least leave the bedroom and we will just wait out the illness while he stays away. MIL is here now too so she is in charge of DH, my mom will take care of me, and they will tag team LO1. We can do this.
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@mamabolt: if this happened to me after giving birth I would be a complete disaster. We're all in this crazy thing called parenting together so you're not alone!
Glad your LO is getting better but that totally sucks about your husband. Glad you have reinforcements to help you out. You got this!
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@mamabolt: you are a strong woman! I can't imagine running into all that right after giving birth! Happy your little one is feeling better!
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@mamabolt: I was hoping this would be a safe place for us to let it out. Newborn time isn't the sunshine and unicorns people want it to be. It is hard, and it is a different hard for each of us.
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@mamabolt: Just stopping in to say sorry you are having to deal with all of this with a newborn. You are so strong!
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Saw a lactation consultant today. Little S definitely has a tongue tie so we go Tuesday to meet with a pediatric ENT to get it corrected. I felt really good about nursing after meeting with her but had a really painful session earlier this evening, and am pretty blue tonight. Lots of tears and everywhere-ish emotions.
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@MaisyMay: I'm a March mama and I haven't really been ready to talk about this on HB til just now, but am finally pulling out of baby blues. my Lo is 3 weeks old, and they started at 4 days post partum. I've been meaning to start a thread but just haven't been able to. But it will get better soon! I had them With my first too- except this time it felt more intense. It centered more on guilt with my first LO and mourning the end of the "she's my only child" relationship. I just wanted to reach out and say you're not alone
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@MaisyMay: Glad you were able to get the tounge tie diagnosed and have a plan to correct it! Sorry about a rough evening, hope you had a good night.
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@MrsLilybugg: thank you. I am struggling with the fact that since I know what makes me feel this way (postpartum hormones and feeding challenges), part of me feels like I shouldn't have this feelings. Does that make sense? Also, started at day 4. How are you feeling lately?
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@MaisyMay: I know what you mean. We can't
Control or "reason with" these feelings tho so definitely don't feel guilty or responsible for these feelings (if that makes sense). It's completely our hormones, sleep deprivation, and drastic changes we are dealing with. I think I'll start a thread so that I don't debby downer this thread lol. Today tho I have felt better / every day I climb out of
This a bit. I'm a little bit concerned about a feeding issue and hope it doesn't backtrack me: baby hates bottles and pacifiers , and I literally feel like a human pacifier. DH tries to give me time to nap / alone time, but if baby cries he can't get her to take pumped milk or formula. So I am beginning to feel trapped. But hopefully I can work through it without falling back into the blues ! How do you feel today ? -
@mamabolt: how are you all doing?
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@Canoli: thanks for checking! Moving in the right direction. Banishing DH to the basement so I was not locked in the bedroom was fantastic for me emotionally so I wasn't so isolated. DH has been without fever for almost a day now too, doc says at 48h fever free he is not contagious so hoping he stays on that track. He looks much better now. Baby is great, back up to 7lbs 2oz yesterday from his low of 6lbs14oz at discharge. And LO was back to school yesterday and seems to be fine and in love with her brother so far. I think by Tuesday AM we should be able to send away MIL, my mom will leave tomorrow AM probably. So looking forward to some time just the 4 of us, and DH is dying for baby snuggles, he hasn't held him since the day he was born.
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@mamabolt: wow that's intense! Your poor hubby
glad your on the down end of all this and you all can get back to a normal, healthy routine with new baby 
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@mamabolt: what a crazy time you've had! Hope your husband is near the end of the illness and you can all get back to normal soon!
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@mamabolt: sounds like everything is going in the right direction! Yay! Hope everyone recovers fast and you can enjoy family snuggles!
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Ahhh we are all back in the same room together, my mom left this AM, and MIL leaving tomorrow. Finally starting to get back to new normal. Baby H has nights and days swapped big time but I got a good nap today which helped.
@MaisyMay: how are things?
Looking forward to some more mamas coming in here, should be coming fast and furious now!
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@mamabolt: getting there, but still having since rough moments. S's tongue tie procedure is Tue, and I have boycotted nursing until then but am pumping. I think Lo looks a little less yellow and a little rounder in the face, but we will see what his weight loss like Tuesday.
DH took two feeds last night so I got good sleep. I am hoping we get the all clear to let LO feed on demand soon. Having to wake him every 2-3 hours is getting rough.
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@mamabolt: in glad things are smoothing out! I hope babe figures out night vs day soon!
@MaisyMay: I'm glad you had a little rest. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for good weight gain and an easy tongue tie procedure. -
@akcoffeebean: thanks. I am so ready for this stage to be put in the memory books. People we know are all happy he sleeps well, they don't get the stress of having to wake him or stress over his weight.
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@MaisyMay: I am so sorry you are having a rough go! with my first, we had to do the same thing of waking him up to eat every 2 - 3 hours over night and I remember how brutal that was. Hopefully fixing the tongue tie will make things easier soon!
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Happy update! At bedtime he was fussy so I tried to nurse. Last time I tried was Friday morning. Tonight it was successful! He spent 10 minutes on each side and had to be tickled awake, but it didn't hurt. If this is what it is supposed to feel like, I can handle it.
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@MaisyMay: Hooray!
I've been having a lot of nursing issues as well, but I've gotten to a spot where I am at least comfortable with what I'm doing. Liam isn't latching for potentially many different reasons. They started me on the pump yesterday morning, and I've been adding formula supplements. I can't wait until my milk comes so we can at least get rid of more of the supplementing. We are still working on latching, I'm just not allowing myself to get too stressed out about it.
My MIL is a former nurse in a mother/ baby unit. By former, I mean years and years ago. She keeps on giving me more and more advise, to a point where she was trying to take over a bit on Sunday night. We haven't seen her since, but DH just updated her on what's going on regarding feeding and apparently she offered all sort of suggestions. DH didn't forward them to me, which I appreciate because I've had so much advice and I finally am in a spot where I am comfortable. She wants to visit soon, and I hope we can find a time when I my milk has come in and I'm in a better spot to take her advice.
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@auggiefrog: good luck. I know that a lactation consultant visit helped us with positions, and diagnosed the tongue tie that we are getting fixed today. For me, though, I had to take a break. It was hurting to the point that I dreaded even trying. I pumped and supplemented with formula. Even now that nursing is getting better, I am still pumping and supplementing. Right now I am missing for an a.m. and p.m. feed, pumping 3-4 times in between and filing in the rest with formula. The MIL situation would really bother me. I am so thankful that my mom and MIL are very hands off about feeding advice.
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@MaisyMay: hope the TT clip goes well today!
@auggiefrog: sorry about your nursing issues. I hope they improve soon.
Trying to get days and nights ironed out here still. I got about 2 hours last night. I think we have a growth spurt going on too because he is all boob today. We are going to move the swing in the bedroom tonight to see if that helps with the nighttime sleep.
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@mamabolt: hope sleep evens out!
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@MaisyMay: happy update indeed! One day at a time.
@auggiefrog: ugh, that is tough. I think people have good intentions but sometimes it just doesn't work. Hopefully you can tune it out and figure out what works for you and your LO! At the end of the day that is all that matters!
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Just wanted to check in on everybody.
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Hey all.
Things are a bit tough here. Baby S is a positive angel but she will not breastfeed. She was (and still is) so sleepy at the breast and nothing would wake her. When she wakes, shes frantic and pops on and off, shaking her head and screaming. When she did latch, it was very painful and my nipples became a mangled mess. She got jaundice and I got mastitis. I started pumping when she was three days old - I actually got milk this time, I was so happy! - and we supplemented with formula because I couldn't pump enough.
I was happy to carry on like this and keep putting her to breast with my nipple shields, but it was unsustainable for my family. E has been a nightmare for the last week - spitting, hitting, tantruming, refusing to eat, shitting herself on purpose, yelling she doesn't like me and doesn't like the baby - and she screams/whines/cries constantly for mummy. She wakes in the night and, when daddy tries to go into her, she arches her back, flings herself around her bed and screams for me. During the day, I'm trying to pump and, if baby S needs a feed or is fussy, DH can't handle E and deal with S at the same time. So I have to stop pumping. DH got so stressed yesterday and the more stressed he got, the worse E's behaviour got. Meanwhile I pumped 10ml because it was too stressful listening to it.
I've been sleeping on the sofa since I gave birth, because S wakes E when she wakes for a feed. Ive been juggling a bottle fed newborn, pumping for 40mins every 2-3 hrs and running up to comfort a hysterical toddler. Ive bern drowning in sweat on a faux leather sofa (post partum sweats + mastitis). If S wont let me put her down in the night, I cant pump and it hurts like hell. I'm not enjoying my baby because all I can think about is the pain and the need to pump.
Anyway, the upshot is, I have decided to give up my dream of breastfeeding.
Sorry I've been absent of late. I've had my hands full.
But hopefully we will get into a good routine soon, now I've accepted that I'm never, ever going to get to nurse one of my babies.
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@Cherrybee: I'm so sorry your home is chaos right now and BFing isn't working.
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@Cherrybee: ugh I am so sorry things are so stressful. Hoping things turn the corner soon.
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@Cherrybee: I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. The newborn phase and especially with another one is so so difficult. Just take it minute by minute and hopefully things will turn around soon! We're all thinking of you!
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@Cherrybee: that's awful!
I don't think I would continue to try to BF if I had mastitis and all the other challenges you have run into with E. Have you talked to your doctor or a LC about it? I hope things get better very soon!
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@Cherrybee: first of all, what your feeling is ok. Don't be so hard on yourself! You just had a baby, your emotions are a mess which is normal and if breastfeeding isnt working that's okay. Just a thought....Have you looked into a tongue tie? Maybe have a lactation consultant could come over to help you with baby's latch? Pumping is so hard especially with all the others things pulling for your attention. And as for E's behavior, it must be normal because my lo is a complete terror right now. He's out of this world naughty, with horrible fits I've never seen before. It's almost like a different child but I'm hoping to just before patient and loving in between all the time outs and swats so that he can adjust to out new family addition. So know your not alone. My toddler is acting out as well.
I hope you can get things figured out and feel better. You have to take care of yourself first. Hugs !!
glad your on the down end of all this and you all can get back to a normal, healthy routine with new baby 
But hopefully we will get into a good routine soon, now I've accepted that I'm never, ever going to get to nurse one of my babies.
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