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August 2016 Postpartum Thread

  1. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    @MrsSCB: congrats on making the move! are yall settling in okay? hope the kitties have chilled out a bit.

    @ShootingStar: Yeah, that's annoying. practically the *only* thing anyone ever says about our boy is: wow he's huge, really filling out, so I guess feeding is going well, wait he's HOW OLD?, oh my god he's going to be so big/tall/huge, and my favorite: what a chunker. so, you're not alone. basically it went from open season comments on pregnant mama body to open season comments on baby's figure-- where is the eye roll emoji on this thing.

    @Pirouette: @ShootingStar: @T.H.O.U.: @pwnstar: @MrsSCB: and everyone else who uses daycare: any tips for a smooth transition? we are starting the week after Thanksgiving and I'm getting nervous about leaving him in that room he's not a good napper and I keep imagining him lying in a pack n play at the daycare center fussing for two hours unattended. Is there anything you did to help prepare your baby (or yourself)??
    ETA, I'm trying hard to put him down drowsy but awake--we have maybe a 25% success rate with that. woof.

  2. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @LCTBQE: honestly I wouldn't worry about it now. Even if you get him napping good at home and doing drowsy but awake, all that will change when he's in the daycare environments. I know a lot of times my kids would fall asleep in the swing and then they would transfer them to the crib. Other times a daycare worker would pat their back or vibrate the crib while they fell asleep.

  3. ShootingStar

    coconut / 8472 posts

    @LCTBQE: we did a gradual transition over two weeks which I found really helpful. Last time I didn't and I found it much harder. We did 2 half days then two full days.

    And there are rules about how long they can leave the baby laying there. I know it's tough at first. I was glad I first dropped her off on a non work day because I was pretty sad.

  4. AprilFool

    nectarine / 2591 posts

    @ShootingStar: I am a SAHM so take what I say with a grain of salt, I give 4oz, which is what I pump in a session so I assume that is what he eats as well and he goes 3 - 4 hours. I noticed he lasted longer with bigger amounts one day when DH was trying to conserve my milk and fed 2oz then 1oz and then another oz and he went through the milk much faster. It seems like the bigger bottles might work for you also if she's sticking around the 14oz mark.

    3am and I am wide awake after the 2am feeding!

  5. Pirouette

    pomegranate / 3331 posts

    @LCTBQE: my lo isn't in daycare so I'm not much help, sorry! But i would say not to stress too much about drowsy but awake right now. Every baby is different, but we never even had to separate nursing and sleeping with my first - i was fixated on trying to make her go to sleep without nursing and then realized it wasn't actually affecting her sleep at all. So drowsy but awake is great, but don't worry if it's not working most of the time

  6. futuremama

    clementine / 854 posts

    @LCTBQE: both of my girls napped HORRIBLY when they started daycare. I tried so hard with both of them to nap in their cribs, but they were both still relying heavily on the swing. Don't stress about it. Baby will get used to it. If anything, I find that daycare is less willing to let them fuss to fall asleep. Will he have to cry for a minute or two every now and then because there aren't any arms available? Yes, but you'll also start seeing pics of him playing with his buds and smiling. It's tough, but it'll be okay. Dd2, who is 4 months now smiles as soon as she sees her teacher every morning. Good luck, and enjoy your last few weeks at home.

  7. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @LCTBQE: I have no experience with putting a baby in daycare; my oldest started after she turned one. My little guy's first day is this Wednesday, and I am really trying to keep it together. The one advantage I do have is knowing the ladies in the nursery (since my oldest has been at the center for 3 years now)-they truly are lovely and I know will take excellent care of my baby. But. I'm still nervous, especially about naps because he really only naps when he's being held; he won't nap very long after I put him down. And he won't take a pacifier. And he prefers to nurse to sleep. *gah* BUT. I try to remember that babies do different things for different people (for example, my first only really napped when she was held, but on her first day at daycare, she laid down on a nap mat and slept for 2 hours), and that any transition takes time (and there's no way to know whether a longer transition is better because all babies are different).

    The lovely people at your center will not let your darling baby fuss unattended. They will comfort him and help him as much as possible--promise! I was terrified to have my oldest start daycare, and it wasn't long before I realized that her teachers really truly cared for her and for me--I can't even tell you how much love and support I received from her teachers.

  8. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5256 posts

    @LCTBQE: We are gradually settling in, though we still have a ton of unpacking to do. To be honest, it's been a bit of a rougher transition than I expected. F has been great, I have even started having him sleep in the bassinet instead of RNP and he hasn't missed a beat. But for me, I feel like it almost re-triggered baby blues in a way? I don't know if that makes sense, but we had really gotten into a good routine at our old place and I was feeling pretty good. With the move, I don't know where anything is and I'm overwhelmed with all the boxes and all the unpacking, which has had me feeling a little down this week. Having my husband at home this weekend has helped a lot, hopefully this coming week will be better.

    Re: daycare -- we haven't started yet. I go back to work Dec. 7, and I have the same fears as you. F only nurses to sleep, so I'm worried he won't be able to nap. I also worry that since he won't be able to nurse for comfort he'll he inconsolable and will cry all day. It breaks my heart to imagine him crying without me at daycare But I try to tell myself that with the number of babies they've cared for, I bet the daycare ladies have even more soothing methods than I do (with my one baby). I'll be gone for four hours this Tuesday for a special work thing and my husband will be caring for the baby. It'll be the longest I've been away. I'm fully confident in my husband's abilities, but I'm still nervous! Also, part of me wants to take the last few days of my leave to gradually transition (so go to daycare a few hours a day) and part of me doesn't want to give up any of my time with him.

  9. ShootingStar

    coconut / 8472 posts

    @MrsSCB: I had the same fears about daycare. You'd think since this is my second I wouldn't be that worried. But she is so much more attached to me than DS was. He would take a bottle and he was perfectly happy to be with me and DH equally. Lily was obsessed with nursing, wouldn't take bottles, and would only be happy with someone else for a few minutes. I was worried she'd be miserable at daycare and I felt so bad. But, I think she's actually doing great! By the end of the week she was sleeping in the crib there, she took the bottles right from the start, and she's even taking a pacifier now. I can see a definite difference in DH being able to hold her, and being able to set her down for a few minutes with a paci and she's just fine.

  10. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @ShootingStar: Your post reminded me that so often our little ones do much better with transitions than we anticipate!

  11. OldpuebloJenn

    kiwi / 595 posts

    C-section mamas, what underwear are you wearing? I'm still wearing the high wasted panties I bought for post partum. My regular low rise from the Gap hit right at my scar and I find it irritating. Am I destined to high rise forever?

  12. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @OldpuebloJenn: I'm back to low-rise thongs, but I can't feel my scar at all. In fact, I can't feel much of anything from under my belly button to the top of my Queen Victoria (everything below has feeling though *phew*). My biggest problem is the size of my arse . . . I am currently in *oh my god becky* territory fo sho!

  13. pregnantbee

    grapefruit / 4717 posts

    @pwnstar: Hahahaha! You crack me up.

  14. Pirouette

    pomegranate / 3331 posts

    @OldpuebloJenn: i remember having that issue for a while with my first, but this time I'm back in low rise thongs. Is the scar bubbled over at all? My first was, and i think that's why. I had a lot more scar tissue too.

  15. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @pregnantbee: I do not think it's a coincidence that Juvenile's Back That Azz Up was playing when I got in the car this morning. 😳😜

  16. Silva

    cantaloupe / 6017 posts

    @pwnstar: word. As a good friend once told me, pregnancy is kind to no ass. 😭

  17. MrsKerch

    apricot / 256 posts

    @pwnstar: I'm so glad you mentioned the lack of feeling at your scar. I'm in the same boat and was getting concerned.

  18. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @MrsKerch: I talked to my OB about it. She basically said nerves are dumb and how and when they regenerate can be sporadic and random (and painful at times). There is of course the chance that the feeling may never come back (or not fully back), but that it could take about a year to have a good idea about whether or not that would be the result. So yeah. Nothing to do but wait. Good times!

    Today is my second day back at work. My little man had a pretty good first day yesterday (he ate well and took several short naps). I did okay too . . . I blubbered my way through drop off, but had a good first day back in the office. I am sad at how little I got to hold him yesterday and this morning. But I know that's just how it's going to be for a while until we get into a groove, and I try to remind myself that I can make up for it on the weekend.

    The pumping. *augh* I knew it was going to be a grind and I know that I won't need three sessions forever, but man it's a lot on top of everything else. And I feel extra pressure to at least break even because of his food sensitivities and hoping to get his tummy/poop situation under control. So I'm just trying to focus on one task at a time so that I don't let myself get overwhelmed. I forgot how much work it is to work a schedule from sun up to sun down. I was exhausted yesterday - I barely had time to eat!

  19. katsupgirl

    nectarine / 2280 posts

    @pwnstar: congrats on making it through day one! It's so hard. Hope you get into a groove quickly. What are your pumping times?

  20. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @katsupgirl: I am currently pumping at 8:30, 11:30, and 2:30. It's looking like my little guy will need 11-12 ounces at daycare and I have pumped a little more than 13 ounces both yesterday and today.

  21. katsupgirl

    nectarine / 2280 posts

    @pwnstar: I think I'm only going to be able to do two sessions when I go back to work. It must be a relief to be pumping more than he's taking at daycare. Pumping is so stressful!

  22. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @pwnstar: great job!

    I go back in two weeks (well a week plus some days now).

    Little girl is staying home with dad for a month and she's not taking a bottle. Sooooo that's going to suck.

  23. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5256 posts

    @ShootingStar: Thank you, I'm so glad Lily is doing well in daycare. That really makes me feel a lot better

    @pwnstar: I'm glad it's going well so far. I go back three weeks from yesterday. I had a half day on Tuesday, though, and my husband watched the baby. It didn't go too terribly, he took the bottle fine and even fell asleep (for about 30 minutes, but still, that was his first time falling asleep not in the carseat or with me nursing). He did fuss a little more than he does with me, but I suppose that's to be expected in the beginning. Plus it was the first time my husband had him alone for more than an hour. They even went to Target, I was impressed! Now I'm just really anxious about whether I'll be able to pump enough milk for him. I hate pumping and don't really have a stash going. I plan to pump three times also. I'll be dropping him off at 9 and picking him up between 5 and 5:30. I'll admit, though, that it did feel a little good to be back at work. I don't think I'm meant to be a SAHM forever.

  24. Pirouette

    pomegranate / 3331 posts

    @pwnstar: congrats on getting through the first 2 days - tomorrow's Friday already 3x a day feels really disruptive and i was thinking of dropping to 2x, but I'm already running a deficit with 3 pumps, so i am not sure what to do. Little man took 20 today and it's the least he's taken all week so far formula here we come - probably after Thanksgiving. I'm a little worried about the dairy factor since I've been really limiting it and his reflux has been so much better. But he has an insatiable appetite and i can't let my work slip by stressing over trying to pump more.

    @T.H.O.U.: ughhh I'm sorry, that's so stressful. Do you work far away? I hope she starts taking it once you are gone.

  25. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @Pirouette: about 20 min. Worst case is she skips her morning feed and DH brings her up for lunch.

  26. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @katsupgirl: @T.H.O.U.: @MrsSCB: @Pirouette: Thanks y'all. 💗

    @katsupgirl: It's really not realistic for me to maintain three pump sessions at work. It is hella disruptive. I currently have the benefit of so many people being out for vacation/holiday, and things generally being at a slightly slower pace, which will definitely change in January. I'm trying to take advantage of it while I can.

    @Pirouette: I fully expect to need to start supplementing in the coming weeks. I feel like I have been lucky with pumping so far, but I know I can't sustain this schedule (and probably not this output) long-term. I'm not opposed to formula (I supplemented with my first starting at around 5 months), but with my son being sensitive to dairy/soy, my formula options are Neocate or Elecate, both of which are pretty pricey. But when it comes down to it, I would choose formula to save my sanity in a heartbeat!

    20 ounces is daunting!!! Does your little guy STTN? Mine does not (he usually wakes 2-3 times, or until I bring him into bed with me). I am wondering if the reason my son takes less during the day is because he still eats overnight? He's certainly gaining just fine-he weighed 15 lbs on Monday. My 4 year old only weighs 32 pounds, and didn't hit 15 lbs until she was around 10/12 months!

    @T.H.O.U.: @MrsSCB: I was super anxious about my little guy starting daycare because he had only taken a bottle a couple of times, he really only napped in my arms, he hates the swing, and he won't take a paci. Well. He drank 3 bottles both yesterday and today, and today, when I walked in, he was sitting in a swing happily sucking away on a paci. Say whaaaaa? It's amazing how babies can adapt. My fingers are crossed for you that the transition is smoother than you anticipate. 💗

  27. Pirouette

    pomegranate / 3331 posts

    @T.H.O.U.: it's nice to have that safety net, though hopefully you won't need it.

    @pwnstar: nope! He's just a total piggy. He nurses from 6-9pm, then still eats overnight, usually 2x, sometimes more. And wakes up ravenous in the morning. He's over 12.5 pounds, has doubled his birth weight at 12 weeks, and is half my 3 year old's weight (she's 25lb!) your baby's intake is much more in line with the norn than mine, i would think he's overeating but if he was, wouldn't he drop the night feedings?! But yes, i have no issue with formula other than the dairy factor. I just don't want to go backwards with the reflux.

  28. agold

    grapefruit / 4020 posts

    @pwnstar: good job going back to work! I'm dreading the transition from being with my baby every day to leaving her with others. It sounds like you are doing the best we can under these circumstances. And great job on pumping. How many minutes do you pump and how long does your total lump session take? I'm planning to do three pump sessions a day too. I'm praying it's enough for my babe. And why do you think you won't be able to keep the pumping up? I know it's tough, but we have the legal right to do it. Ugh. I'm nervous, too. My work isn't friendly to this kind of stuff.

  29. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @agold: I pumped for 15 minutes for each session. I tried to do 20-15-15 today, but my output was the same as my 15-15-15 day. So I will keep the sessions to 15 minutes.

    I expect to need to supplement because I seriously doubt that I can pump 3 times a day after the holidays (work is just too unpredictable and hectic, and lots of calls/meetings are scheduled last minute). If I have to drop a session, I expect a corresponding drop in output by a couple of ounces. I could get lucky and get the same yield, but I doubt it. And I don't want to set myself up for that disappointment. I will take what I can get, do the best that I can, and let the rest go.

    ETA: Also, there are times when you do everything right and you just can't pump enough. So having a little formula on hand to bridge any unanticipated gaps is a good idea, especially until I can build up another stash.

  30. agold

    grapefruit / 4020 posts

    @pwnstar: I am looking at the times my girl nurses and it seems like she will need 4 bottles for when I'm gone. That's 4 times pumping. So crazy.

  31. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @agold: My schedule is shaping up to look something like:

    6 am nurse
    (daycare drop off between 7:30-8)
    9 am daycare bottle
    12 pm daycare bottle
    3 pm daycare bottle
    (daycare pickup at 4:30)
    5 pm - bedtime nurse on demand

    Based on your drop off/pickup time, you may only need 3 bottles. It also depends on your pumping output. You may only need to pump 3 times to get the ounces you need.

    Also, my little guy definitely nurses more often than that at home (he likes to snack!). And he definitely wasn't on any set schedule. So there will probably be a learning curve for a few days before you figure out how many bottles, ounces per bottle, and total ounces you need for each day. I started with 4 bottles the first day (2, 3, 3, 3). Based on feedback from my little guy's teachers, the next day I had 4 bottles, all with 3 ounces. (I didn't think he would need that fourth bottle, but I sent it just in case). Because I know that he deally doesn't need a fourth bottle (i pick him up before his next feeding). and based on additional feedback, tomorrow I am sending three bottles with 4 ounces in each, and I expect him to drink all but maybe half an ounce or so of the last bottle.

    It may take a couple of days to get it sorted out, but your little lady's teachers will help you too!

  32. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    In the past I've gotten a second let down to get the ounces I need. Usually that let down didn't happen until the 20 minute mark of pumping. Another tip is to unhook take a sip of water and then try for that second let down.

  33. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @T.H.O.U.: I will have to try that. In all my time pumping, I have never gotten a second letdown. I feel like I have a better supply this go 'round, and I am willing to try pretty much anything!

  34. agold

    grapefruit / 4020 posts

    @pwnstar: thank you for sharing that schedule! I'm hoping my baby follows something similar.

    @T.H.O.U.: I've never pumped for that long. It when I'm back work maybe I will try that!

  35. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @agold: It is really hard to imagine/visualize how it will all *work* sometimes! And keep in mind that you will probably have to set the schedule/pace, i.e., waking E up to get her to feed at a particular time so that you can begin your morning routine.

  36. agold

    grapefruit / 4020 posts

    @pwnstar: yes, that's what I was just thinking today. She had a funny night and I'm nursing her late this morning. Ugh. I'm getting a little anxious about going back to work. I'm going today to meet with my boss and ask for the ability to work from home on Tuesdays and some sporadic thursdays. I hope it works because I'm otherwise prepared to quit. But that would be crazy.

  37. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @agold: I know it's super hard, but for the first few days, just take everything in stride. Have a plan, but know that there will be little hiccups here and there. No biggie! I would also recommend not starting on a Monday. A full week the first week can really be a grind! A Wednesday start would be better timing - you have a few days to execute your plan to see how it goes and what works and what is not working so well, and then the weekend to recover and tweak things for the following week! You will also have a better idea about what you will need during the week, e.g., nursing supplies, daycare supplies, lunch, etc., and can plan for that over the weekend to help your week go more smoothly (I do as much as possible on the weekend and the night before--the less I have to do in the morning, the better! But that's just my preference.). After a couple of weeks, you will get into a pretty decent groove. There will always be minor hiccups along the way, but it won't be as overwhelming and stressful (like it probably is right now).

  38. ShootingStar

    coconut / 8472 posts

    I have kind of a crazy pumping schedule and I feel like it's way too much. Lily started sleeping until 6 or 7 around 10 weeks, and I got in the habit of pumping in the morning before she got up, because being so engorged woke me up. Then I started pumping before bed so that I'd be prepared to go 9 hours overnight.

    Thing have shifted around, but I end up pumping 5 times a day. I feed her at 6/6:30, pump at 7:30 (and get a ton) and then pump 2-3 times at work. Either 9:30, 1 and 3:30, or 10ish and 2ish. Then I pump before bed.

    I'd like to eliminate the pump before bed, but I tried to go without it last night and woke up incredibly uncomfortable. I'm not sure how long it'll take for my body to get the memo. The 7:30 pump is also a PITA, but I get the most milk then and I'm so full, even after feeding her. She generally takes about 2 ounces from one side, and I can then pump another 2 ounces from that side and 5 from the opposite one.

    I don't need this much milk, I don't have the freezer space for this much milk. But last time once I started reducing sessions my supply took an absolute nose dive. I didn't pump this much then though, so that might be different.

  39. pwnstar

    pear / 1718 posts

    @ShootingStar: Can you gradually reduce the time you spend pumping during the before bed session while also pumping later, say, 30 minutes or so, until you don't get engorged/need to pump (so that you can eliminate that session entirely)? If you continue to pump and don't signal your body that it is overproducing, it will continue to produce at the current level.

  40. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5256 posts

    @pwnstar: I'm starting on a Wednesday -- mostly because F was born on a Wednesday, and I wanted my 16 full weeks. But now that it's getting closer, I'm so glad to start with a short week. I'm planning on sending him to daycare for a few hours per day before I go back to ease into it. I'd been thinking of going to work for those hours, but now I'm like, "Ummm, no. I'm going to spend them doing relaxing things by myself."

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