Hellobee Boards

@pwnstar: I don't know that I can do it much later, since I go to bed right after. But I have thought about maybe switching to my manual pump because it's much less efficient. And then tapering that off.

Sorry for the delayed reply, everyone-- the last of the parade of family visits is now over (just in time for us to haul ass across the state for Thanksgiving, wheeee). Guess I'm worried about logistics but underneath it needed some hand-holding from people who have been there

@pwnstar: your response, and everything you've said in the past few days, has made me feel miles better about this--thank you. I think I'd feel less nervous if I knew someone whose child had done well at our daycare, but I keep reminding myself how happy/normal all the parents looked during drop off when we toured the place, and the women who work there do seem really warm and organized. I think I've also been hyperventilating a bit about getting our schedule in place--it didn't even occur to me until I read your post about going back to chill the fuck out and let the groove happen instead of trying to organize everything to death. SO glad to hear that your baby boy hit the ground running at yall's place and is doing great That's awesome that he and your daughter both napped well on their first days there! Will he take the paci for you now, or just at daycare?
Ah, and about the Becky, YEAH. I just got a legit pair of mom jeans to try to contend with the situation--Levi's Wedgies. They are 100% cotton with no stretch and they come up practically over the ribcage, thank god.

@pwnstar: @ShootingStar: this pumping conversation is super educational and I'm glad to benefit from the eavesdropping.

@T.H.O.U.: the fact that it's out of my control is something that I have GOT to get through my head. I'm glad your kiddos adjusted well. and even though the consensus is that it's a non-issue, this week we did have a surprise breakthrough--he's now going down drowsy but awake for almost every nap. couldn't hurt I guess.

@ShootingStar: @MrsSCB: this helps so much just to know that yall do/did have all the same fears and so good about Lily's bottle/paci/nap success!! I'm doing a gradual transition too--my boss is a SAINT and spontaneously offered to let me work from home my first week, so I'll be able to pick him up a little early, and I guess it feels better that I'll be local just in case of freak out (probably more likely me than the baby).

@futuremama: thank you for this

@Pirouette: oh rats I forgot you guys have a nanny!

@MrsSCB: sounds like it went really well with your husband! it's like junior trial run for day care and I don't blame you one bit for feeling out of it with the move, I guess it had to happen but sounds so disruptive and tumultuous. I get super depressed if the house isn't completely clean and uncluttered... huge stacks of boxes containing your entire life + tiny baby who needs you for everything = woof hope it's coming together a bit. on the bright side, didn't you have super shitty neighbors that you no longer have to deal with? yay?

@pwnstar: oh my god when is your salf-halp book coming out--this is exactly it. I'm unfortunately prone to dismissing legitimate hormone imbalance as pathetic insecurity that I should man up and get over, so probably will have to print out the above and tack it to my computer. I actually don't know that I'm making the right decision--what I really know is that I can't quit my career--but your confidence that everyone else does is genuinely reassuring. The humming along part (really?!) sounds so good that my eyes well up with tears to even consider it. Part I am definitely not fucking up is the wine part, $13-18 Italian reds are our jam around here

@LCTBQE: It's not pathetic. Or insecure. Your new reality is that your heart is now beating outside your body. To say that that's a game changer is the understatement of the century.

After I had my first, I had so much anxiety at the thought of leaving my LO that I thought I wanted to stay home, which shocked the hell out of me because even during my pregnancy I was 100% sure that I would return to work full-time. What I did know was that going back to work was the right decision for me before my heart was beating outside my body, so, with that knowledge, I went back. It was hard. And I wasn’t always so sure that it was right . . . the guilt and the anxiety were so overwhelming at times (because I wasn't *sure* in the beginning) . . . and let's not even talk about how some people try to make you feel like the most selfish person on the planet because you do go back to work instead of *martyring* yourself for the sake of your child/family (not everyone holds that sentiment, but it was expressed to me on several different occasions and it stung like a son-of-a-gun). In so doing, it wasn't too long before I realized that I wanted to work because it was part of who I am, I wanted to work so that I could be the kind of partner to my DH that I wanted to be, and I wanted to work so that I could be the kind of role model for my LO that I wanted to be. So. I didn't always know that going back was the right decision - and you don't have to *know* either. I went back to make sure that I really didn't want to go back (if that makes sense). Having a child is such a huge paradigm shift . . . a little uncertainty in the wake of same is a good thing (at least it is imo). Because the right decision is what's right for you. Full stop.

And yes, you will absolutely find your groove and things will hum along (as much as they can with a baby/young kiddo). You may not realize it though until you are well into the process . . . it may just hit you one random Tuesday when you're making dinner while entertaining your LO and handling a conference call/email . . . you will think “I’ve got this." Because you do.