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How are things going relationship wise for you guys adjusting to more than one kid? We've been bickering more. We both feel stressed. My son has been extra difficult and testing limits which would be hard anyway and normal given his age (but worse I think because of his sister making him more attention grabby) but between coralling him and managing the baby and keeping the house clean and my husband being stressed by work and these grad school classes he is taking we have little time together and when we do half the time we argue. For example hubs is a bit more disorganized than I am. I spent a glorious nap hour cleaning the kitchen and he had it dirty by the next day and we have a roach problem we discovered so I was upset. I feel like it will only get more stressful when I return to work too. Ugh.
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@maggierose: I feel like we're just in survival mode with our relationship. There's basically zero intimacy right now. I go to bed when J does, and he has been staying up later and working or making plans for our backyard reno. When we're both awake, we just tag team between the two girls. I'm looking forward to J being on a more predictable routine and napping in her crib, hopefully sooner rather than later. Might be easier to connect with DH during the day when we're not both completely exhausted.
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@gentlelunette: I'm glad I'm not alone! I've also been going to bed right after the kids completely exhausted. We've tried to be intimate once or twice and we're interrupted by a crying baby. DH was willing to continue but it dampened my mood. I honestly don't have the energy or desire. I know it will get better once the baby is in a more predictable routine and stuff but as you said right now is just survival mode!!
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@maggierose: @gentlelunette: survival mode here too! I don't feel like things are bad, but we spend most of our time tag teaming kids/chores and have little to no time left for each other. Things are slowly getting better as T's sleep gets a little more predictable and bedtime inches up. I think we both are helped by having done this before so even when things feel bad, we both know it gets better. But it's tough and we are tired.
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Whats your baby's bedtime? I have been trying (and failing) to move up J's bedtime but it's still around 10pm (and last night 10:45 after she fought sleep for 2.5 hours
). She takes some good chunky naps (4-5 naps, anywhere from 45m-3.5 h) but we can't seem to make the 8pm cat nap become bedtime. I can't remember when my older daughter dropped that catnap but I am desperate to go to bed earlier!
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@gentlelunette: We moved her bedtime up to 9:30 at the beginning of last week (so she was almost 10 weeks old). I just moved her last feed of the day to 8:30 (basically, after we put our son to bed, I start feeding her). She feeds for nearly an hour, and she's generally awake when I put her in the bassinet (but quite sleepy). The first night she cried a little bit, but I watched the clock to go in after 5 minutes of nonstop crying, and she never got there. Maybe cried for 3 minutes, stopped, then for 2 minutes, then fell asleep and stayed asleep until 4:30 or so for her MOTN feed. It's been so nice to have our evenings back.
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@gentlelunette: No real bedtime yet, but we've been really lucky about her going to bed when we do, so usually 9:30-10. She sleeps until 5:30/6 so I'm not going to fight it.
I AM worried about moving her to her crib though since she's SUCH a good sleeper. So far whenever I put her in there she cries. She's in a R&P now and doesn't fuss at all, even if she wakes up early she quietly lays there.
Any of your babies room sharing with big brother/sister? I worry about that aspect also since DS (2-1/2) will share a room, that he'll crawl in bed with her at night and try sleeping on her or something.
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@gentlelunette: T starts getting really fussy around 6 and is usually out for the night around 8. He is not napping all that well currently. It's a lot of work to get a 45 min nap in the wrap even. Sometimes I can get an hour but I think we are more in the 40-45 minute area these days. I should keep track maybe. He is starting to have some good chunks of awake time (1.5 hours) so that might be why his bedtime moved up?
@josina: I am terrified of the crib transition because that's when big brother's sleep went to crap. Very crappy. I'm hoping to keep T in the RNP until he rolls over. No sign of that happening soon.
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@gilmoregirl: We moved DS at 4 months and should've done it earlier, but his sleep was awful (and really didn't get 'too much' better). With her it's like, why ruin a great thing?
Of course maybe a regression will changes things. Fingers X'd. -
DS moved up to bedtime around 9/9:30 recently (he's 11 weeks now). I haven't really tracked his naps but I think he takes around 4-5 for varying times.
Right now he's waking up between 3:30-4:30 for a MOTN feed after that bedtime. He's still sleeping in the pack n play in our room (in the raised bassinet thing?). We plan for him and DD to share a room, and the crib is in the shared kids room. She's just sleeping so well right now that I don't want him to mess that up!! Haha.
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@gentlelunette: I usually put the baby down at the same time while DH puts our toddler down, 7-8pm. She sleeps her longest stretch til 12/1 then again at 3/4. She is usually up for the day at 6. A sleep coach I talked to said that I am actually probably putting her to bed too early!! She said if I put her to bed closer to that 9/10 time frame she will wake up for the day later than 6. Seems counterintuitive but she said the earlier bedtime shouldn't be til after 3 months. However I appreciate the time alone with my husband after both kids are in bed and wouldn't wanna give that up plus i go to bed at 9! So I'm sticking with this.
@josina: wow..so nice your babe is STTN! So jealous!! We moved the baby out of the RNP to the pack play bassinet about two weeks ago. I was so nervous but it hasn't seemed to change her sleep at all. Ultimately the plan is to have her share big brothers room, but that probably won't be til she consistently sleeps through the night.
Naps are still random. She will take one good solid crib nap in the morning but she resists it in the afternoon and will only nap on me your r in carrier or car seat.
I would love to get some longer stretches of sleep from her y the time I go back to work in two weeks but it's not looking good. Not sure how I'll get ready in the morning unless I get up to get ready after her 4am feed!! Feeling super stressed about getting myself and two kiddos out the door and me to work on time.
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@Beehive: @josina: @gilmoregirl: @MrsA: @maggierose: thanks for all the responses. I guess I'll just wait and see how things happen naturally in the coming weeks before I make any major effort to change bedtime. We're *apparently* 5 days from the end of a wonder week, so I think that's likely the reason things are a bit off.
She's still in the halo bassinet beside our bed. I'm afraid to move her since once she's down she sleeps pretty well! We had 2 nights in a row of 8.75h. It was ah-mazing! Seems we get 6-8 fairly consistently but I'm afraid if I move her to her crib it'll all go to hell! We moved DD1 at 10 weeks, so maybe we'll do the same for J.
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@josina: yeah, B moved to the crib around the time of the four month regression but we never got through the regression and things got worse and worse. He was rolling though and had to go in the crib around 3.5 months. I'm hoping to keep T in the RNP as long as possible and maybe get through the regression there? I dunno. It's working now so I'm not gonna mess with it.
@maggierose: interesting thoughts from the sleep consultant. I've never understood with little babies how to set a bedtime. T goes to bed when he does cause he's fussing otherwise and falls asleep and stays asleep. I wouldn't even know how to mess with it? Or move it later? He has been up for the day by 6 lately.
@gentlelunette: I couldn't change his bedtime if I tried! Earlier or later. I can definitely overthink it though. Though 8 hour stretches sound super great. I moved B to his room (in the swing) at 8 weeks because I felt like I "should". Can't even think of it this time!
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@gentlelunette: Wow, 8.75 hours is incredible! Great job, baby!
@josina: DD will room-share with DS (her crib is in the room and ready as soon as she is) - our plan is to move her in as soon as she sleeps through the night (although that might change if she outgrows the bassinet before then!).
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I'm so jealous of all your long stretches of sleep
.. Not happening here
Tyler goes to bed between 730-9. And usually sleeps for 3-4 hrs that first stretch. Then he tends to do 1-2 hr stretches the rest of the night. It sucks. Some of his wake ups are gas/poop related though. I've inquired with the ped about giving him something for gas /reflux at night. I think that might help.....
We had his 2 month appt and his weight gain is impressive per the dr. He jumped from the 5 th percentile to the 16th. He's over 11lbs now
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@maggierose: 2 weeks!
I've actually surprised myself in that I've made it to work early most days. Most mornings I nurse between 5 and 6, get up at 6:20 when DH leaves; if DD is sleeping I leave her alone, if she's up I change her/get her ready and then she hangs out on the playmat while I shower/get ready. DS has been sleeping in so I wake him up once I'm ready and we're out the door by 7:15 -7:20.
I'm lucky though in that DD is pretty chill, a couple mornings she had a cry-fest (gas maybe?) and I sacrificed my hair do. @Ajsmommy: Sorry about the crappy sleep! I went through that with DS, it was awful. Hope it gets better! And YAY for the good weight gain!
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@josina: sounds like you have a good morning routine - hopefully mine will look like yours and we can get into a groove! How have you felt being back??
@Ajsmommy: Awesome weight gain!! We have our two month checkup next Monday (O will be 2.5 months by then) and I'm so curious to hear how she's doing!
I am packing up some maternity clothes today. Hoping it will motivate me to start wearing more real clothes!! I am feeling sad though. I don't want to donate or sell them because I would love to have another kid. My husband is much more on the fence though. I guess I'll put the stuff in storage for now and in a year or so we can talk about our plan. Are the rest of you done or does anyone plan on having more? On the one hand we have our boy and girl and both are healthy and wonderful but I just don't have that feeling that our family is complete.
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@maggierose: It's been good being back actually, was easier this time than with DS. This is my first full-week back though so it's going to suck just having 2 full days with the kids.
I did pack up all my maternity stuff and I'm holding on to it for now, but I should probably sell it, same with all the baby clothes. I would like another baby, DH is pretty firmly no, but I don't want to commit to that for another 2 years. Hopefully by then we can agree one way or the other.
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It is quiet around here - how is everyone?
The babe finally had her two month checkup yesterday (even though she's 2.5 mos already) and clocked in at 9lbs9oz. She's in the 4th percentile just like her brother at that age but she looks chubbier because she's short (21in). Nice and healthy and was a champ with her shots.
The last two nights have even awesome sleep wise. Slept 8-3:30 Sunday night and 7;30-4:30 last night!!! Ate and was back down til 7:30.Maybe she was tired from her vaccines? I'm hoping it's not a fluke. I had her back in the RnP last night because she's really stuffy (a cold that we've all had I think) and I feel like she would sleep better elevated. Hope she sleeps that long when I move her back to the crib when the cold passes.
Trying to enjoy these last couple days of nonstop cuddles, back to work I go on the first. Anyone else starting back soon?
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@maggierose: That's some great sleep! I'm glad to hear your appointment went well.
We took our first trip as a family of four last weekend, to Chicago to visit my family. The baby did really well on the flights - she slept during most of the first flight, and was awake but happy during the second flight. It was great to have her meet her aunt, cousin, and great-grandmothers, and she gave them some wonderful smiles.
Her sleep has been very good - last night was her longest stretch yet, 8.5 hours (from 9:15 to 5:45). I hope the trend continues! Also her reflux is all better - she's been great for the past couple weeks. The tiny dose of Prevacid she takes each morning seems to be doing the trick. I hope that continues!
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@maggierose: Enjoy your last week off, how are you feeling about going back?
@Beehive: Glad her reflux is better!We have Em's 2 month check up this afternoon, I'm nervous for her shots, I think I have a harder time with them than she will.
She is still amazing with sleep, pretty consistently 9:30/10 to 5/5:30. Really hope it stays that way, but she is also still in the R&P.What are the babies wearing for sizes? She is in 3 month already, and I need to move to size 2 diapers - I have 2 cases of 1's that were gifted and I might need to try and guess where they were bought from so I can exchange!
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@josina: Thanks! Good luck with the shots this afternoon! A is also wearing 3-6 month clothes (although I squeeze her into some of the 0-3 month onesies still, to get more wear out of them). We moved her up to size 2 diapers a while ago, after one too many poopsplosions. I think she'll be in that size for a while.
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@Beehive: glad her reflux is better! I did. It think the Zantac was doing anything for us until I stopped giving it to him
Won't do that again!@maggierose: good luck with back to work! I am taking an extended leave but my fmla runs out on Monday. How is it May already?
@josina: size 2 diapers but I will need to get him down 3s for night time I think. And 3-6 for clothes. I just washed all the 6 month stuff. He is not that big but he is looong.
We are doing pretty well over here! T has finally started taking a couple of naps in the swing that last longer than 20 minutes so I am free of the wrap for that time and have been doing 10 min workout videos from YouTube. I feel so much more like me again when I can do a little something. Slow and steady.
We've also been out and about a ton, which I never managed when big brother was a baby. T is so good and just goes with the flow. We are lucky that he is easy. And I really enjoy being home - way more than I expected to bc I did not much like it the first time.
No 2 month appointment yet haha. And he has not ever slept in his crib and I hope to keep him in the rock and play as long as possible. Also very different from my first.
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@maggierose: I'm going back on the 8th.
Sleep is still pretty crappy here. But it's getting slightly better. I'm completely jealous of your alls awesome nights!!! Send some of your magic juju our way please!
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@josina: surprisingly Tyler is in size two diapers and 3 mos and 3-6 mos clothing
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The past few days, T has gone down easily and taken a morning nap in the swing for at least an hour. So today I decided to stay home instead of meeting friends at the park (would require me to wake him up) and OF COURSE he woke after 20 minutes. By now, I should know betttrr than to plan my day around a 2.5 month old's naps...but I got excited.
Some day we will have free time again right?
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@Ajsmommy: we're in 3-6m and some 6m clothes too. They're still only 11 + change lbs though. We have our next appointment with the ped tomorrow so I'll have some updated stats then.
@gilmoregirl: bummer about the nap. Mine are pretty predictable in the morning and then in the early afternoon but late afternoons and early evenings are still totally unpredictable and usually a crapshot.
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@gilmoregirl: Right.
Em is pretty unpredictable too, as soon as I say she'll sleep 10-2 so we can go out, she'll be wide awake.Her 2 month stats: 11 lbs, 14 oz (57%), 23" long (68%) and 38.3 cm head (44%). She's not as much of a chunky monkey as I thought, but she does have some chubby thighs.
@Ajsmommy: Sending sleep magic your way! I told our ped. how well Em sleeps, and he told me not to say it too loudly or the other moms would get mad - I told him I did my time already with DS!
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@Pumuckl: @josina: we have a decent rhythm to our days and he seems to have settled into pretty much 4 naps a day and a pretty early bedtime. I think he could even do three if his naps lengthen a bit. Sometimes they are long but I can't count on it. To be fair, I am always waking him or having him nap on the go due to big brothers schedule, and I'd like to keep that going a bit longer!
And now that I've written that, it's sure to go haywire tomorrow.
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Well we went back to dr yesterday bc I decided he was showing enough signs of reflux. He gained another pound so he's now over 12 lbs!! Almost double his birth weight.
They have us zantac and last night was amazing!!!! They said it wouldn't work for w week and maybe it was a fluke but it was a great night. To bed at 815, Nursed at 1100, then down again until 3. So much better than being up every hour!!!! I'm hoping it stays this way
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@Ajsmommy: wow, that is great. I hope it was not a fluke! It has made a big difference for T. We had a rough evening with him being extra fussy, not sleeping and wanting to nurse a lot which is not unusual for a newborn obviously but hasn't been common for us lately. But I just realized I forgot his second dose of Zantac today and I know now that it's not a coincidence. Anyway, I really hope you guys see good results too. It's nice to know that they're feeling better.
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@Ajsmommy: I'm so glad to hear that the Zantac is working for you! It's such a relief to find a solution to the reflux. We had to move over to Prevacid, but that has been working very well for A.
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@Ajsmommy: @gilmoregirl: @Beehive: wow so many reflux babies in our group. Glad that their respective medications are working though!
We had our well baby visit today. So I got some updated stats:
F is 22in/11lbs 5oz
J is 22.5in/11lbs 9oz
They also got their second round of shots. Poor babies and since they are premature they get the 6x-vaccine one additional time, boo. -
Guys I woke up with some kind of blister on my nipple. At least that's what it looks like. It was stinging yesterday and now today the blister appeared. It hurts. Any ideas what this is? I've never had it before but it hurts.
I can call the LCs at my hospital too but they're annoying to get in touch with.
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@Ajsmommy: Awesome that he's feeling better and that you got a 4 hour stretch!
@Pumuckl: Shots are so hard, I teared up myself!
@gilmoregirl: I've never had this, hopefully someone else can chime in... or your LC calls back! -
@gilmoregirl: could it be a milk bleb? I had one with dd. It was small and white. I squeezed it and it went away
did you try dr Google?? Lol. I think that's what I did
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I'm so sorry guys that I've been completely MIA (except on the FB group). I've had a really hard time getting online to type on HB. It will be so much easier once I go back to work on the 10th. How is it almost May already? (not to mention the 4-8 inches of snow in our forecast for tomorrow night
)A quick update on us: W is almost 11 weeks old and at his 2 month appt (which was at 10 weeks), he was 13lbs 5oz and at 98% for height. So, yeah, I've got a chunker! He is 3lbs more than his sister at the same age. His naps during the day are hit or miss. If I am lucky, I can get one to two in his crib (typically in the morning), but it's usually more like no naps in the crib and naps in the car on the go or in his swing. He takes about 5 naps per day since they are so short and not longer than 45 minutes. Any tips to stretch them out?? We start his bedtime routine at 6pm and he's asleep by 6:30. In the past week, he usually has one wakeup - sometime between 1-3am and then goes back down until we wake him (or he wakes) at 6am. I've been doing the 6am wake time since that is when we need him up once he starts daycare. Last night, I even had to wake him at 3:15 because my boobs couldn't handle it any longer. I'll start letting him just sleep later this week, but it's nice to feed him on one boob and then pump the other to build up some kind of stash. His sleep is definitely better than his sister ever was. She wasn't sleeping consistently through the night until 18 months and I feel that W is getting really close to doing it.
He does seem to have some intolerance to dairy, but it's not too extreme. I had ice cream on Thursday and yesterday he was spitting up more and a bit more fussy, but that was it. So, I continue to limit any dairy that I eat. I think that is it and I'll try to keep up more!!
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@Ajsmommy: I don't think so, because it's not white? But I'm not sure. I did google, but nothing was an obvious match. It looks most like damage from a nipple shield but we haven't been using a shield. It looks better today but still hurts so maybe T was a little too bite-y and did some damage.
@NorthStar: oh gosh, snow, no way. It's supposed to be 87 here today. So weird. no dairy is a bummer. My first had bloody diapers so I was off dairy and soy and it was a pain. I hope it stays mild for you and goes away soon! I've been there with naps too. The only thing I can say is no amount of tips/intervention made my first take longer naps. Just time. He did ok once he was on a 2 or 3 nap schedule. T will sometimes nap longer if I let him complain at the 45 minute mark but most of his naps are 45 min to an hour. Only in the last week has he been consistently napping somewhere other than the wrap and it's in his swing so I have no business giving anyone sleep advice I think
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@maggierose: How has your first week back been so far?
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@josina: not too bad! I was emotional on Monday but feel mostly fine now. Work is so busy I don't have time to dwell on missing the kids and it's a hectic pace so the week has been flying by. Pumping is annoying but I'm considering it my social media break time haha. Getting ready to go in the mornings has been mostly doable too-I am just up earlier and have my outfit picked out and a 5 minute hair/makeup routine so I have time for variables like both kids waking up an hour earlier than anticipated!
did you try dr Google?? Lol. I think that's what I did
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