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my first LO was a surprise and i got a ton of "was it planned?". This did get annoying after a while...especially since we were just recently married, so i thought it should totally look like it was planned!

@BandDmommy: both

eta. i knew it stemmed from the fact that i didn't have a full time job, we had just moved and were living in an apartment with lots of student debt, and i was not yet done my phd thesis. and so yes, it was not planned, but still annoying to get asked that.

@californiadreams: We got, "Was it planned?" a lot too. We had been married for 3 years! I think it was probably because we were on the young side (I was 25 at the time).

I guess by your definition we of course knew there was a chance. I think we were using the same "BC method" you and your husband were...? So of course we knew there was a chance and while we had baby fever, we were definitely not "ready" at the moment and caught very off guard.

DH actually handled it a lot better than me. He was very calm while I was freaking out trying to figure out all the next steps.

All of our family was delighted. My mom was a little concerned for me because she knew I was having a hard time at first but everyone was excited about our LO! Once I wrapped my head around it, I was too and it was of course the absolute best thing that has ever happened to us

DH was thrilled. I sobbed for a week.
We had been doing pull and pray, completely avoiding my fertile window, and I was exclusively breastfeeding.
Turns out I ovulated two weeks late. We only had sex once that month. Actually we had only had sex like ten times post partum.
My sister were thrilled, my parents are thrilled, my extended family has made some remarks (mainly the few that suffered from IF). DH's dad told him to "tie a knot in his weiner" his mom accused him off being careless. His siblings overall are happy, his brother told him that he needs a hobby. His boss told him that he should leave his poor wife alone, she just had a baby.
At first I had a really hard time with telling people because a big part of me was embarrassed. Now at 19 weeks I'm totally fine. If anyone has a problem they can eff themselves.

Sorry, but a p&p baby shouldn't be considered a complete surprise! Not a reliable form of BC...

@BandDmommy: @snowjewelz: same! did i miss something!?

@Mrs.Someone: it's 96% effective when used correctly. That's more effective than the mini pill.

@Mrs.Someone: @oliviaoblivia: yea there is a big difference between PnP with slip ups and effective use of pull out method. It was my sole birth control method for 10 years before TTC

@Mrs.Someone: pull out is pretty effective when used properly but I get what you're saying. I think it's less foolproof then popping a pill. I am with you on being surprised. The two times I got pregnant were two times my husband didn't pull out. We were surprised that the timing worked out the way it did in a statistical what are the odds sense but not surprised we were pregnant because it is pretty obvious He didn't pull out. I guess I too don't understand how you can not realize you didn't pull out. We had unprotected sex on cd7 last cycle and while that seems impossible to get pregnant on for me since I have longer cycles, I was fully prepared that I might be pregnant. AF decided to come even later, too to really shake things up!

I know my opinion is unpopular, but everyone that uses P&P will defend it like mad! And sure, if you're really good at it, a pregnancy is unlikely. But it is documented that semen comes out before a man ejaculates. I think P&P is perfectly fine in a stable relationship and when a couple wouldn't be devastated to have another kid, but unmarried/uncommitted isn't a good idea

@BandDmommy: !!!!!!!!!! Congrats!!! I'm sure you guys were shocked! But so happy for you! Can't believe D will be a big sis!

@BandDmommy: I'm glad your mom was happy! I think grandparents naturally get excited about grandbabies and then worry about mom and dad. My parents had concerns about my safety because of our short interval b/w surgical deliveries. My doc is OK with it so I'm going to trust her.

@Mrs.Someone: Agree 100%.

@Mrs.Someone: It's actually very reliable if used correctly every time. No surprise pregnancies here and we've been using it exclusively (and not avoiding during fertile times) for over a year. My last two pregnancies were conceived first cycle NTNP so I'm now a believer that P&P is quite reliable if the male is good at it.

I think my second was a surprise to everyone else! Honestly, no one was as excited as they were for our first which was kinda disappointing but they all came around eventually. Some of DH's college friends jabbed him a bit and one guy I know told me it was clear what DH and I were doing at night once our first went to bed which I though was totally inappropriate.

I think it just takes people time to get used to the idea.

@BandDmommy: some people might, but that is not a good standard as many people believe all kinds of inaccurate information. Reputable physicians do not consider that a method of contraception.

We had a surprise (although we messed up BC so I don't know if that counts to you-- but regardless it was certainly not planned). We'd been pretty honest with people in our lives about possibly not having kids/certainly not having them for a while so people were surprised. Everyone was thrilled for us but most people either assumed it was an oops or outright asked if it was. My standard response was "we prefer to think of her as a surprise, and we're thrilled about it."