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Regular Birth Plan
Thank you for being part of our birth experience. We intend to treat the entire process as the joyful, celebratory, and respectful event that birth is meant to be, and we hope that the following birth plan helps accomplish our goal. Thank you so much for appreciating our wishes for the birth of our baby. We have planned and anticipated this day for so long, and are so thankful to be blessed by your attendance and care.
• My birth team consists of my husband, my birth photographer, and my mother – and of course, my midwives. I may also have a doula. If anyone else shows up to see me during labor or recovery, they may wait until I request visitors.
• I would like my birthing environment to be very quiet, dimly lit, and peaceful. If any members of my birth team are not helping to maintain a quiet and respectful atmosphere, please remind them of my preferences.
• It is important to me to avoid cervical checks. If my midwives feel it is important at any point to check my dilation, I will discuss it at that point but I prefer not to have any routine checks.
• My personality is the type that benefits from gentle encouragement and reassuring, but I don’t respond well to…
• It is important to me to push instinctively. I would prefer not to hear verbal suggestions unless necessary. Thank you for keeping the atmosphere peaceful during this time.
• To help prevent/minimize tearing, I would like to use a hot compress with washcloths soaked in hot water and an essential oil blend I have prepared.
• In the moments of birth we would appreciate total silence as our baby is born. We want our voices to be the first baby hears, and would prefer all conversation be delayed. I would like our hands to be the ones tending to our baby as much as possible, so please guide us as much as is possible in caring for our baby if any stimulation or additional care is necessary. Your efforts in communicating non-verbally are very appreciated.
• I would like for either me or my husband to “catch” the baby.
• Please make sure the baby is immediately put on my chest for skin-to-skin contact and left there for at least an hour. If resuscitation or other interventions become necessary, please do it with baby still on my chest if at all possible.
• Please wait until I request it to clamp the cord, I want to wait until I feel baby and I are ready. My husband or I will cut the cord. We will be encapsulating the placenta, so please make sure the placenta is preserved. We have ziplock bags, a cooler and ice to bring the placenta home.
• If any repairs are necessary, please use a local anesthetic.
• Please delay all essential routine procedures/tests on my baby until after the bonding and breastfeeding period.
• We have carefully researched newborn procedures and have chosen to avoid some of them. Because I do not have any STDs and our baby is not at any risk for infection, we do not consent to eye ointment. We also do not consent to the Hepatitis B vaccine or any other vaccines at this time. We will be happy to sign release forms if necessary.
• We would like to discuss Vitamin K with our midwives after the birth. If the birth is normal, we do not want vitamin K to be administered. If our midwives think it may be necessary because of bruising or trauma incurred during the birth, we will discuss it at that point.
• Please allow my husband to be an active participant in the newborn’s exam, doing as much himself as he can. He and I would also prefer to wash (if necessary) and diaper our baby in our own time.
• We would prefer not to share our baby until we’re ready. We’ll let you know if or when we are ready to have others come see us or hold our baby. -
Transfer Birth Plan
Our primary goal is a healthy mother and baby. We believe birth is a normal event and an inherently safe process, and were therefore planning a natural, gentle water birth at a freestanding birth center. We realize labor doesn’t always progress as planned and we are happy and grateful to transfer our care at this point.
We desire a natural as possible labor and birth, limiting the use of intervention to that necessary for treatment of an abnormality or complication. To allow for a peaceful birth we request a birthing environment that is dimly lit, quiet and with the least interruptions possible. We understand that complications can arise unexpectedly, and are grateful for the expertise of our doctors, midwives and the nursing staff, and the technology available to assist us in that event. However assuming no complication, we need your help to fulfill our desire for a natural and peaceful birth.
It is our goal that should a transfer to the hospital become necessary for this birth, that the entire process be treated as the joyful, celebratory, and respectful event that birth is meant to be.Labor and Delivery
• We would be grateful to be assigned nurses that are supportive of a more natural approach to birth.
• I would like my birth team with me at all times. That includes my husband, friend, my mom, and my doula.
• If induction or enhancement is required at any time, I would like the opportunity try all natural inducers first as long as the baby and I are healthy. Under no circumstances do I consent to the use of the drug Cytotec (Misoprostol).
• Please explain any procedure/medication and ask for consent before administering any medication or performing any procedure.
• I plan to stay hydrated by drinking clear fluids and would like to avoid an IV. We are aware that an IV maybe required during labor for dehydration or medical needs, so we are willing to compromise on the need for an IV by utilizing a heparin-lock for access.
• I wish to have no offer or suggestion of medication for pain. If I need an epidural or other pain medications, I will ask for it myself.
• We ask that the baby be monitored as per ACOG guidelines for intermittent monitoring rather than continual monitoring, to allow for freedom of movement and comfort during labor.
• As we know that water can be a useful comfort and relaxation tool, we would like to have access to tub or shower during labor. I will labor in whatever positions provide comfort and encourage progress.
• It is very important to me that cervical checks be kept to an absolute minimum, particularly after my water has broken. I also ask that my amniotic sac not be artificially ruptured without my expressed consent.
• I do not want any medical students or interns to be present or involved in the birth.
• I have asked my friend (Erin) to photograph the birth. These photos are very important to me. I understand that many hospitals prefer that the staff not be photographed, so I have asked Erin to focus on my family and not take pictures of the hospital staff.
• I would like to labor down and then push only as my body tells me (instinctive pushing). Please refrain from counting, shouting, or directing my pushing in any way except in the case of a true emergency.
• I would like to push in whatever position works best for my body, and ask that this request be honored and assisted as much as possible by providing a squat bar if available or at least allowing me to deliver on my hands and knees or whatever other position works best for my body.
• I do not want an episiotomy, I would prefer to tear. My preference would be for perineal massage/support and warm compresses to keep the perineum intact.
• For spiritual reasons, I ask that the room be silent as our child is delivered and that a quiet and respectful atmosphere be maintained throughout the recovery.
• Unless our baby is in crisis, I wish for it to be delivered directly onto my abdomen and remain there for bonding and immediate breastfeeding. We ask that any routine newborn procedures be delayed for at least one hour post-delivery, and that they then be preformed bedside.
• Please delay clamping the cord. For spiritual reasons I ask that it remain unclamped until the placenta is delivered, except in the case of a true emergency. We will also be keeping the placenta. Please give it to my husband or mother right away. We are happy to sign any necessary waiver.
• Unless there is excessive bleeding I would prefer not to have routine Pitocin after delivery, and plan to breastfeed and use uterine massage to promote involution.
• I ask that the baby be kept in the room (and skin-to-skin as much as possible) at all times. If there is an emergency and the baby must be taken to the NICU, my husband will accompany the baby.
• The following procedures will NOT be administered following birth (see recovery and baby care plan): eye ointment, Hep B vaccine or any other vaccines, circumcision, bathing, or supplemental feeding.Recovery and Baby Care
• I would like the baby to be kept with me at all times. Do not take the baby to the nursery for any reason without our expressed consent. If the baby must be taken to the NICU in case of emergency, my husband will accompany the baby.
• I have refused the use of eye ointment on our baby – it is NOT to be administered to our baby at ANY time. I have been tested for all STDs and our baby is at no risk of eye infection. This has been discussed prior to the birth with our baby’s pediatrician. We are happy to sign a waiver if necessary.
• I have refused the Hep B vaccine and all other vaccines for my baby at this time. It is NOT to be administered to our baby in the hospital. We are happy to sign a waiver if necessary.
• I plan to exclusively breastfeed my baby and ask that no artificial nipples or formula/glucose water be given to my baby at any time. If NICU becomes necessary, I would like to attempt to put the baby to the breast as soon as possible, and will pump breast milk until that is possible. Please do not supplement without my express consent.
• If our baby is a boy, he will NOT be circumcised.
• All tests and procedures are to be done in the presence of myself or my husband, and only with our expressed consent.
• Please do not bathe our baby. We prefer to wipe the baby down with warm towels or blankets after the birth to dry it and for us to bathe our baby for the first time at home.
• I would like my IV removed as soon as possible after delivery so that I can move around freely.
• Please ensure all medications are suitable for breastfeeding.
• We would like the option of early discharge for mother and baby assuming there are no overriding health concerns. We would like to avoid an overnight stay if possible, and would prefer to limit our hospital stay to 12 hours postpartum.Thank you so much for appreciating our wishes for the birth of our baby. We have planned and anticipated this day for so long, and are so thankful to be blessed by your attendance and care.
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Cesarean Birth Plan
Our primary goal is a healthy mother and baby. We believe birth is a normal event and an inherently safe process, and were therefore planning a natural, gentle water birth at a freestanding birth center. We realize labor doesn’t always progress as planned and we are happy and grateful to transfer our care at this point.
If a Cesarean birth becomes necessary, please be sensitive and patient in answering all our questions and helping us make the process of cesarean birth as gentle on mom and baby as possible. We realize that cesareans and other surgeries are a common event in hospitals, but we ask that you respect that this individual surgery is a unique event in the life of our family. For us it is neither common nor routine, but rather an event that will have effects lasting a lifetime. It is our goal that should a cesarean become necessary for this birth, that the entire process be treated as the joyful, celebratory, and respectful event that birth is meant to be.Before and During Surgery
• I would like both my husband and my friend Erin present the entire time, throughout the prep and the surgery.
• Please put the IV into my non-dominant (left) hand, to make it easier for me to hold and breastfeed my baby.
• Please do not restrain my arms during surgery. If this is not possible, please release them as soon as possible so that I can hold and breastfeed my baby immediately following delivery.
• I would like the screen and gown positioned so that I can have skin-to-skin contact and breastfeed while being closed up.
• I ask that the catheter to be put in after the anesthesia is administered and has taken effect.
• I would like to wear my glasses/contacts during surgery so I can see my baby.
• Please lower the curtain or position a mirror so that I can see my baby being born.
• I do not want any medical students or interns to be present or involved in the birth.
• Please keep the atmosphere respectful and as quiet as possible during the delivery process. For spiritual reasons, I ask that there be complete silence (as much as possible) during the moment of delivery and immediately after.
• I ask that the surgery be preformed slowly and that the baby be “walked out”. I also request that the clamping of the cord be delayed.
• Please put the baby on my chest for skin to skin contact immediately and evaluate the baby there. If this is not possible, please let my husband do skin to skin contact with the baby instead.
• I would like my husband and/or my friend Erin to take photos of the birth as it occurs. These photos are very important to me. I understand that many hospitals prefer that the staff not be photographed, so I have asked them to focus on the baby and me, and to not take pictures of the hospital staff.
• Please do not sedate me or use any mind-altering drugs without my express permission. I want to remember the birth of my baby clearly.
• Please reinforce my uterus with a double suture. I would like to have a VBAC with my next baby, and ask that everything possible be done to ensure this option.
• We would like all non-urgent procedures (weighing, footprints, paperwork) be delayed until skin to skin contact and breastfeeding have been initiated.
• I ask that the baby be kept in the OR/Recovery with me at all times, unless there is an emergency. In this case, my husband will accompany the baby.
• We will be keeping the placenta. Please give it to my husband or mother. We are happy to sign a waiver if necessary.
• The following procedures will NOT be administered following birth (see recovery and baby care plan): eye ointment, Hep B vaccine or any other vaccines, circumcision, bathing, or supplemental feeding.Recovery and Baby Care
• I would like the baby to be kept with me at all times. I will have a family member in the room with me at all times to assist me with the baby. Please do not take the baby to the nursery for any reason without our expressed consent. If the baby must be taken to the NICU in case of emergency, my husband will accompany the baby.
• I have refused the use of eye ointment on our baby – it is NOT to be administered to our baby at ANY time. I have been tested for all STDs and since this birth was cesarean, our baby is at no risk of eye infection. This has been discussed prior to the birth with our baby’s pediatrician. We are happy to sign a waiver if necessary.
• I have refused the Hep B vaccine or any other vaccines for my baby at this time. It is NOT to be administered to our baby in the hospital. We are happy to sign a waiver if necessary.
• I plan to exclusively breastfeed my baby and ask that no artificial nipples or formula/glucose water be given to my baby at any time. If NICU becomes necessary, I would like to attempt to put the baby to the breast as soon as possible, and will pump breast milk until that is possible. Please do not supplement without my express consent.
• If our baby is a boy, he will NOT be circumcised.
• All tests and procedures are to be done in the presence of myself or my husband, and only with our expressed consent.
• Please do not bathe our baby. We prefer to wipe the baby down with warm towels or blankets after the birth to dry it and for us to bathe our baby for the first time at home.
• I would like my IV and catheter removed as soon as possible after delivery so that I can move around freely.
• Please ensure all medications are suitable for breastfeeding.Thank you so much for appreciating our wishes for the birth of our baby. We have planned and anticipated this day for so long, and are so thankful to be blessed by your attendance and care
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Ok, there's all three birth plans! I've written so many birth plans with my doula clients that I felt like I kind of wrote these on auto-pilot, so I would appreciate any input you guys may have!
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@arden: Wow, you are so prepared, lol. I really need to write one. That'll be the homework I give myself this week!
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I have to wait for pictures from my mom and MIL to post for the shower. Who knows how long that'll take...if ever! lol
It was really nice, though. I felt very loved. I've already started sorting and putting stuff away, mostly because my son was excited to help and I didn't want the cats all over the stuff. All the clothes are sorted and put away, and a lot of the other stuff, but the crib is still full of tons of stuff that I need to find a place for!
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@Arden: Wow! Impressive.
I don't know that I am going to write one up. I just want a healthy delivery for baby and Mom. I wonder too how much the hospital actually follows these. Plus I know so much can go wrong. Other then telling them I want skin to skin after, which they do anyway, not sure anything else is that important to me. I might feel different after our labor class on Wednesday.
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@Arden: Wow, you really know what you want!!! I haven't finished reading them, but in the first one, you have this:
"• My personality is the type that benefits from gentle encouragement and reassuring, but I don’t respond well to…"
Did you forget to fill that part out? Just make sure you do before you print it!
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@Arden: Okay, after reading your other two plans (Transfer and C-Section), I didn't notice anything that you needed to make clearer or that stood out as needing revision. It seems like you have a very clear vision for what you want the birth experience to be like, while maintaining and understanding that complications might arise. I really hope your birth is everything you wish it to be!
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@Arden: Your plans seem very well thought out -- prepared and clear about what you want, but also realistic about the many uncertainties of labor/delivery. Bravo!
My "plan" needs a little work, haha -- it's mostly "I'd like to avoid medicine, unless it really really hurts, and please don't cut me unless the tearing would be really awful, and keep my husband away from the business end, and just help me out however possible." To say I'm laid back about L&D would be an understatement.
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I've officially started swelling. I'm so bummed about this!! It's really mild -- my rings are still on, my shoes still fit -- but my ankles are definitely puffy at the end of the day, and my fingers are definitely not "thin" like they'd normally be in cold weather. Ugh, really not looking forward to these next five weeks.
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@keepcalmcarrie: I have the same kind of plan as you, haha. It's like "I want to try to deliver without meds, but I know I'm a wuss, so please don't let me miss my window of opportunity to get an epidural! And don't let my husband be traumatized by birth - I want him to still want me when this is over."
I don't THINK I'm swelling... but I can't really tell. I've been gaining more weight than I'm supposed to, so I think I may just be getting chunkier in general... it's hard to tell! Hopefully you don't swell up too much!!
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@Adira: Yeah, unless my husband suddenly becomes really passionate about the idea of cutting the cord or holding my leg up or watching the delivery (and I highly, highly doubt any of those will strike his fancy -- I know they don't right now!) I am more than happy to have him next to my head, holding my hand. Even I don't want a mirror to see what is going on down there
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@keepcalmcarrie: Yes! My DH and I both agree that he is to stay up by my head. I know that he will be able to see things but if we can make it as little as possible that would be great.
@Adira: I am not even going to be shy, give me the drugs!!
@Adira: @keepcalmcarrie: I have days when I am more swollen. But today my rings seem ok and I don't think that my feet are. Which is surprising since I was on them so much this weekend.
@keepcalmcarrie: I am with you, no mirror! I don't want to see my lady parts like that. Just put that baby on my chest when she comes out. I don't need to see her coming out. My DH doesn't want to cut the cord. I told him that he has too. I thought that all Dad's did. Do they not?
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@adira and @keepcalmcarrie: I'm with you on the husband thing. It really doesn't matter to ME what he decides to do, but I've told my midwife to let him see what he wants to see and to offer him the cord, but he refuses, don't pressure him, lol. Just pretty much let him decide his comfort level.
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Went to my 34 week appointment today. Everything is great. I'm now +5 for my weight gain, which really surprises me, cause I eat like a horse these days. I'm not sure where all the food is going!
Baby girl is right on target for growth. She's REALLY low! She just moved down in the past couple of days. It's nice, cause I can finally breathe and my heartburn is subsiding.
I got paperwork for the birth certificate and the waiver for the eye ointment. All this makes it seem even more real! All of these end of the pregnancy things are just unbelievable. It's so exciting!
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@keepcalmcarrie: @Smurfette: I don't want to see my lady-parts in general, so I DEFINITELY don't want to see them like THAT! And I agree! Keep the husband by the head!!
@Smurfette: @katiew92081: I don't think my husband is interested in cutting the cord at all. I don't really care - if they offer to let him do it and he wants to, then he can, but it doesn't matter to me one way or the other who cuts it!
@katiew92081: I'm so jealous of your weight gain (or really lack of it)! I've gone WAY over what I was supposed to gain for this whole pregnancy and I still have four weeks left! Oh well - just more to lose later I guess...
And congrats on the baby dropping!! I don't know if mine has or not, although at my 36 week appointment, she said his head was low in my pelvis. But I still have terrible heartburn... maybe he'll move lower at some point and that will stop? Or maybe he's all stretched out and taking up a ton of space? Who knows!
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@Adira: glad that my DH isn't the only one that doesn't want to cut the cord. I guess I will tell him if he doesn't want too then he doesn't. It is gross if you think about it.
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@Smurfette: haha, yeah, I just think my husband doesn't really care. It's possible that in the heat of the moment though if they ask him, he might just do it! But I think the last time I asked him if he wanted to, he said no.
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@smurfette: Yeah, it's probably best to leave it optional for him. Liek @adira said, maybe in the passion of the moment he'll want to do it, but if not, it's totally ok. Witnessing labor is bad enough! lol
@adira: Yeah, my midwife said that now she's down lower, her legs have a little more room to move around. If your little guy is on your right side, then I'm guessing it's possible for him to be messing with your stomach.
In my March group on Livejournal (which is way less active than on here, btw), one girl just had her baby, at 36w3d!! Baby is home and healthy...
...ladies, this makes it so REAL! Any one of us can be next!! ahh!!
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@katiew92081: Yeah, he definitely seems to be more on my right side, so that could be it!
OMG, I can't believe someone had their baby at 36w3d!!! That kind of stuff SCARES ME! I'm NOT ready!!! I haven't even installed the car seat yet!!! I hope the baby stays put for a few more weeks...
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@Arden: wow thanks for sharing!!
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@katiew92081: @Adira: Wow! 36 weeks is only 2 weeks away for me. So won't be ready. Plus DH just told me he has to travel that week, only NYC but still. He is telling work that he can't travel in March though. Don't want him missing any of the action.
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@adira: I know! I'm slightly more ready today than I was 2 days ago, thanks to the shower, but I still don't have blankets. Sounds so silly to think so urgently about them, but my birth center doesn't have receiving blankets like hospitals do, so I need to get them. I think I'll go to Walmart and get a couple packs in a little bit, and then order some a & a ones. I also don't have a pump, but that's not as urgent, I suppose.
At least she won't be naked. I've always known that people love to buy baby girl clothes, but after yesterday I realized HOW true that is! lol
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@Arden: Wow! I will definitely read those on our drive home today and check them out.
I think I'm going to try to be as laid-back as possible too about the birth plan. Definitely want and epi since I'm a wuss about pain. No one else in the room besides DH unless he can't be there. DH to be at my head/shoulder/side. No mirror! No forceps.
Been getting charley horse leg cramps in my sleep again this weekend. Definitely NOT fun! I'm glad it's our last trip up here before the baby because I was having a hard time breathing yesterday with the altitude and baby pressing on my diaphragm. I went and got a bigger yoga/birthing ball and will blow it up tomorrow and start sitting and bouncing on it!
@Arden: When should we start increasing the RRL dosage and start actually drinking the stuff? Or do you think the pills are good enough so I can avoid drinking the tea if it doesn't taste very good? Are you going to also take EPO? I've been thinking that I should start using the EPO to massage down there? I've read that helps prevents tears and cutting. That's one of my biggest fears about L&D is the tears and episiotomies!
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@shopaholic: I have friends that used EPO and didn't help at all. They all still tore
I know that you mean, one of my biggest fears too.
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@Smurfette: Yes - I'm really scared of that from my BFF's horror story of a triple-epi! Her recovery was sooo long and painful! And stitches seems to be worse as I was reading another thread the other day about stitches making them even tighter down there afterwards. I mean, I don't want to be all loosey-goosey down there, but I know I'm REALLY small down there and if I got any tighter, sex would probably be really painful!
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@Arden: Wow, those are some thorough plans. Our birth plan, which we created with help from our doula, is only about 1 page double-spaced. Part of the reason is that some of the things that we want as part of the birth (low lights, use of shower and alternate laboring positions, skin to skin contact, delayed cord clamping, etc) are standard care where we are delivering.
@keepcalmcarrie: I definitely am starting to feel some swelling too. My shoes all still fit, and my rings are still on -- but I definitely notice some puffiness at the very end of the day.
@katiew92081: That's great that your appointment went so well!
@Smurfette: My husband also had to tell his work that he can't travel after mid-February. Luckily, it doesn't look like he will have to go anywhere for awhile!
I'm 36w1d today -- so less than one month/4 weeks until my due date! I am now officially on maternity leave, thanks to a combination of California's policies and my work's schedule. My husband and I just got back from a weekend trip in Palm Springs: probably our last solo vacation for awhile! I am definitely slowing down, especially when walking around.
We have our hospital tour and a breastfeeding class this week, and we will be installing the base of the carseat this weekend. This weekend, I am also going to put together our thank you gift (various wrapped snacks and coffee packs) for the delivery staff, as well as start packing anything in my hospital bag that I won't need until birth.
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@shopaholic: My doula recommends EPO orally starting at 36 weeks and vaginally starting at 38 weeks -- provided that the woman is not GBS+. If she is GBS+, she should continue taking the pills orally instead to cut down on risk of infection. (Of course, everyone should check with her own provider first!)
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@shopaholic: I'm going to increase my dosage of RRL at 36 weeks and then gradually continue increasing from there.
I actually don't recommend EPO as the effects haven't been carefully studies and some believe it could cause a higher likelihood of hemorrhaging. Obviously it's a personal choice, but I don't recommend it to my clients.
What I DO recommend is perineal massage 3-4 times a week with oil (olive, almond, etc). You can find instructions for this all over the internet, just google "perineal massage".
I'm going to be honest with you guys though - it isn't fun. It's weird, and kinda off-putting... but if it helps lower your chances of tearing, isn't it worth it? Give it a thought anyway. -
@keepcalmcarrie: I would definitely recommend putting "No episiotomy unless my baby is in immediate danger", because it will NOT keep you from tearing worse.
In fact, studies have shown that cutting a small bit raises the chance of severe tearing dramatically. It's like cutting a hole in pantyhose - you are far more likely to have a huge run from that hole than if you'd left them alone in the first place.You may tear, but you will likely tear more severely if you are cut. Look it up and do some research (don't just take my word for it), before you put it on your birth plan, but make sure you take a moment to do that. It could save you a lot of damage.
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@shopaholic: Yay for being on mat leave! I hope the next few weeks whisk by quickly for you and baby Mole will be here before you know it!
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I will be taking the labor & delivery tour tonight at the hospital. Do any of you guys have a list of questions handy? I've been googling some of it, but any other insights/advice you have would be awesome.
Thanks!
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@Adira: Yeah, I totally did forget to finish that sentence. I was going to ask you ladies how to word it.
Basically what I want to say is that I'm not the type of person that responds well to "tough love". I'm not going to be comforted by yelling "Come on! You can do it!" or any shushing of my whimpering or crying. I will just get mad and tell them to leave me alone.So the question is, how do I say "Don't mess with me" in a nice way? lol
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@Arden: I have read that about episiotomies -- ouch! I think I will make my line about that a little more strongly worded, because I really would like to avoid cutting if at all possible. Thanks
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@keepcalmcarrie: I mean, it totally depends on the place where you are having your baby. You'll notice I didn't say anything about IV's or cutting in my first birth plan, because they don't do that there unless it's an emergency! If your caregiver doesn't do them, great! But if you are in a hospital where you could have any doctor on call, you have to cover EVERYTHING because you don't know what that particular doctor's policies are.
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@Arden: I'm delivering in a hospital, but I have a small team of doctors and one midwife -- and they seem very open to whatever the patient wants (two friends have used them for deliveries, and both raved). I did mention the episiotomy to the midwife and she said they only do them in emergency situations anyway, so that's good. But still, can't hurt to write it down.
My friend's dad is an OB, and when she told me in high school what an episiotomy was, I remember feeling complete and total fear (it sounded like something from a horror movie to me!) I know a lot of women get them and it mostly turns out fine, but to be completely honest the thought of a C-section freaks me out less than an episiotomy or a severe tear. Ugh.
I will definitely be doing perineal massage, in spite of thinking that it is icky too. Our bodies are awesome, but (for me at least) this whole process at the end is gross!
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@keepcalmcarrie: If this is any consolation, I've seen many women get first and second degree tears and not even notice, at all. They are so busy bonding with their baby (and I'm talking about women who didn't have pain meds!) that they didn't even notice being stitched. They ask me a couple hours later "Oh, did I tear?"
It isn't as bad as it sounds, unless you get a really seriously bad one, which are kind of uncommon.
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@Arden: I heard that water births generally favor the mother because the area is already softened by the water so there is less chances of tearing/smaller tears. I wonder if that's true. Oh..if only I had the mental strength to do a water birth at home..I totally would!
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@cokiezombie: Yep, I've seen that as well. I do think tears are less common in water births, partially because of the softening and partially because water relaxes you and keeps you loose and open instead of instinctively clenching or fighting it.
Some hospitals do water births! Have you asked at yours?
I know that you mean, one of my biggest fears too.
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