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@Chillybear: ***hugs*** I feel like I could say the same thing to my husband, but I have lashed out (which I hate doing) and some things have changed. I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for help, but he thinks I don't need it because I don't ask.
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@Chillybear: I feel EXACTLY the same. It helped me a bit to make a chore chart - he knows what he has to do and when, and if he doesn't, he gets points towards owing me $$. (5 demerits = give me $5.) It works somewhat, but things like washing bottles is hard. We can't say that ONE person has to do that (not feasible) and so if I have 3 bottles in our dirty bottle area when I go to bed, and he doesn't wash them after work, I take it as that he doesn't care enough to do ONE LITTLE THING to help. I manage to do it while she's here, why can't he while she's asleep? Guys are clueless. :::HUGS::::
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hello, mamas! sorry i have been MIA for so long. my LO has kept me so busy the last 3 months and time has flown by. i have since returned to work (last monday) and LO is in daycare now. she is doing so well it's surprising! she is napping well at daycare which she never did at home and is eating like a champ. week 1 was a bit rough for me because i missed her so much. she ditched her 1 night feeding the night before i went to work - she must've known mama needed her rest
she is now consistently sleeping from 7:30 until 6! so proud of her and so thankful for the sleep i get! i hope everybody is doing well and surviving the polar vortex -
@kjpugs: @avivoca: and the cherry on top... I just found out that starting 2/1 he'll be working night 7 day/week for 3 weeks which means m-f we wont see each other at all bc he'll leave before I get home at night and vice versa in the morning
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@Chillybear: that's my everyday reality (DH works 1pm -12am 5 days a week including weekends, so I only see him for an hour Sat/Sun AM and Wed/Thurs night.) It sucks. At least it's only 3 weeks? Hope he can find ways to be helpful during that time.
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@kjpugs: How do you manage? any tips this will be the first time doing this schedule with this new job and most certainly not the last
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@Chillybear: I try to get as much done on the days he has off (will he still have weekends off with you? I hope!) including meal prep. So I have nothing to do except stuff like dishes, maybe some laundry mid week, and taking care of her. See if there's anything in your routine that you can get him to commit to doing especially if he has baby-free time at home. That will help too. He needs to realize how hard it is also, so maybe plan a night where it's just him and baby so he realizes. The first time I was gone all day and it was just B and E, he was like 'holy crap.' It helped him realize a little. (In fact he's thinking of switching careers right now- that's how hard it's been, mostly for him though it's not seeing us.) Honestly if it was just a few weeks now and then it would be a lot more managable to me (but I obviously know it's the opposite for you! It's hard when things get HARDER than you're used to!) so just remind yourself that it's temporary!! And also if you can... WINE.
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So behind and I'm on my phone so I can't go back a reply easy to everyone. Ugh. Will try to do better tonight or tmrw.
LO had a cold. I've put in a call to the ped's office. She seems to feel fine, but it still freaks me out. I suction out a boatload of snot this morning.
Morning routine. We are doing better well, but I get up at 5;15 to pump. I wish I could drop that one or the night one, but I'm gettig about 20 oz and LO takes 15 oz to the sitter's so I would like to keep that up. Last night i didn't get to bed until after midnight. I was busy washing bottles and getting stuff ready. DH tries to help, but he is not there all the time so it's hard To have him help with something or take on a task when it won't always get done. He is getting better about doing some things, but I think it's going to take us a little longer to get our groove figured out. It's just tiring in the meantime.
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@singingbee: Ugh. I'm sorry MM has a cold. I blew up a bit at my husband this morning because I got up and prepped bottles/pump parts this morning while he laid in bed since H wasn't awake. He claims that he holds H in the morning while I get ready, and I'm thinking, "that doesn't really help me when she's sleeping and all these things still need to get done but you're in bed since you're 'tired'."
I feel like a shrew. I told my husband that I thought the daily FT with his parents was excessive and that I felt like it was infringing on my/our limited family time during the week. He was hurt, said things like, "well, would you rather see someone daily or only get to hold them every few months?" and "Well, it's not my fault that we can't FT your parents." That last one felt like a huge dig because he knows my parents are struggling right now. The last few years have been really hard for them, and why should he make a dig at that because they can't afford to buy an iPad like your dad can? Ugh. I'm so mad. I'm worried about my parents, I'm afraid they will lose their house again and that my dad will never be able to retire, I hate that I have to FT his mom EVERY DAY or else she gets sad, and I hate that she keeps saying that she wishes H didn't have to go to daycare. I also hate that all the housework is falling to me, even though we both work, and that it's a huge chore for him to get up in the morning to help me when she's not awake.
Wow. Sorry for the blow-up. I needed to get that off my chest.
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@avivoca: that ft thing would bug the ever loving crap out of me. I don't get that. I mean I understand wanting to see her and everything, but really, that's so much for y'all to do. I would be really peeved.
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@Chillybear: @avivoca: So many hugs to both of you with your hubby situations! I am still on maternity leave so I feel like I should do most of the work, but I totally get the resentment. It's so upsetting when they clearly can tell you are about to lose it & still don't want to help! Just know you are not alone.
@mrs. mochi: Glad things are going well for you!
@singingbee: Sorry your little girl is sick! And I just want to say that you're such a champ for pumping like you are!
@avivoca: Lady, you are not a shrew! Don't feel guilty. KJ had a good suggestion - have him FT her when you are doing something else, and it needs to be once a day for a limited period of time. He can pout but honestly that is more than reasonable.
As for us: I have cut back formula a little bit but I am afraid to do more. It doesn't help that the closed FB group for low supply moms I am in jumped down my throat when I posted about it. You would have thought I was asking if she needs to be on a diet! I was upset that people would think I would starve my baby so I deleted the post.
Also, we have moved S to her crib from the RnP & it sucks. First night she was up every 1-2 hrs & I could only calm her down by nursing. Second night she miraculously STTN with a dream feed & I thought we were out of the woods. Last night, every 2 hours again. I don't know why - clearly she CAN STTN in her crib! I am really close to CIO honestly...
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@singingbee: @daniellemybelle: Thank you ladies. I feel better getting all of that off my chest. I tend to internalize a lot of things and it's not healthy.
@daniellemybelle: I can't believe they jumped down your throat! I'm gonna say they were just jealous. It took H a bit to be comfortable in her crib and now we all sleep better at night.
I'm so tired today. This exhaustion beats pregnancy exhaustion by a mile. I'm also stressed out because I've got to clean out a bunch of storage tubs and fill them up with water because of the WV chemical spill. I'm probably going to go out and buy another couple of bottles so I don't have to do so many dishes. And maybe I'll break down and get a microwave so I can steam clean those bad boys.
Ugh.
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@daniellemybelle: The sleep coach I took a class with last month said until they're 6 months old, anywhere you can get them to sleep is fine - the fact that they are sleeping is more important than where they are sleeping. That made me feel a lot better! We had been trying to transition Lucy out of the rock and play, but it's where she sleeps the best, so that's where she sleeps at night. The sleep coach also told us that until much closer to 6 months, babies don't have the ability to self soothe themselves to sleep. She suggested that when they cry, just hold them and comfort them, but don't bounce or try to calm them down. Within 20 minutes they'll have calmed down and be ready to fall asleep. Crying is their way of releasing cortisone and I forget what the other hormone is that is keeping them awake. Think about how you feel after a good cry - drained, exhausted, and ready to sleep! It's the same thing they're doing. YMMV, I know, but it has helped a ton with dealing with Lucy and sleep.
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@abbylyn: Thanks for that information! I really want LO to be in her crib - from all accounts, it just gets harder the longer you wait. The advice about just holding her for 20 minutes is easier said than done! It's a lot easier to just nurse her until she falls back asleep than to listen to her cry for 20 minutes every 2 hours in the middle of the night... But neither is really sustainable long term. Hopefully she just adjusts soon & this will be a distant memory!
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I have to catch up but had to quickly post... 3 months already!!!!
Can you tell she's teething???
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@kjpugs: What a beautiful picture!
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@daniellemybelle: We are also failing the transition from the RNP to the crib right now. It's been about 4-5 nights now that I've put him down in the crib. A couple total fails, a couple of half-hour chunks of sleep and *then* total fails, and one relatively successful night. Sure wish I know what I'd done different that night!
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@Mrs. Yoyo: It's good to know we're not alone! Ugh, if I could only go back and start her off in the crib! The one good night, we did a dream feed at midnight (since she actually made it 2 hours in the crib) and she slept til 5:45. I tried that last night & the dream feed was a fail, and then she was back up at 3:30, and would not go back to the crib so we ended up co-sleeping & then putting her in the swing. I miss my good sleeper!
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3 months today! Loves sitting up, but hasn't mastered the balance thing. Drools constantly. Rolls over. Laughs, smiles, "talks." Finally plays with his toys. Loves his stuffed monkey. Sometimes STTNs. Eats a ton. Wears clothing anywhere from 3-9 months. Loves jazz and The Beatles. Loves going on walks. Prefers to sit with mom.
Can't wait to see what next month brings!
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@daniellemybelle: yeah, I just figured since big bro transitioned easily, so would this one. Wop wop.
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If any of you were wondering who the worst mom in the world is, look no further. It's me. I had the bright idea to have DH trim LO's nails while she was nursing. He didn't want to do it but I made him, and then of course she jerked & he cut her finger really bad. It was gushing blood everywhere & she was screaming. I was so upset. Of course 10 minutes later she was fine but I am still shaken. I gave her a little Tylenol which was probably unnecessary but I just didn't know how to fix it
There is nothing more pitiful than a bandaid on your baby's finger & knowing it's your fault!
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@daniellemybelle: I've done this. Twice. It's an awful feeling! The worst was when I walked through a doorway and bumped her head. Yeah. Awful. I cried more than she did.
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@singingbee: That makes me feel better! Though I can't imagine your cuts were as bad as this one... It was really deep
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@daniellemybelle: Oh no, it was awful. It looked horrible for days. She looked at me like, "How could you do that?!?" it was awful. I couldn't get it to stop bleeding and we had to wrap her toe in a bandaid. Awful.
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@daniellemybelle: my husband did that to Lucy on Sunday. Then Tuesday at work I bonked her head on my desk while picking her up. Then last night she slipped in the tub and bumped her head on the side. Kiddo is having a rough week!
All that to say... You're not the only one. Hang in there mama
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@singingbee: @abbylyn: I hate that your LOs got hurt too, but I feel so much better!
We had a slightly better night last night. I was too tired to stay up to dream feed her, so she woke up at 12:30, an hour after her usual dream feed, and then again at 4:30. That's not as great as it was before but it's manageable. I'm wondering if we should just give up the dream feed - maybe it's not working right now?
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@kjpugs: @TFrances: Such precious 3 month olds! 3 months!?! What the heck! We were all just pregnant two minutes ago!
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@daniellemybelle: Don't feel bad. I cut H's finger last Saturday and when I saw the blood I felt so bad! Really, baby fingernails shouldn't be allowed to grow when they are this young.
Here's the most recent picture I posted of H on Instagram. Also, @kjpugs: My SIL found me on IG! It's no longer my safe space! I'm going to have to block her and deal with the crazy drama! NOOOOOO!
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@avivoca: oh NOOOOOOO!!! I forget, is your IG private or not? Mine's private and if MIL ever requests me I'm planning to just NEVER approve it. I agree- I'd rather deal with the drama haha! So sucky
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@daniellemybelle: don't worry about the cutting nails thing! I did it too
Just a small one when cutting her thumb nail. Luckily it didn't bleed too much but a little neosporin and it was fine. I did feel HORRIBLE though. I just try to tell myself that it happens. Our Ped also made it a not big deal (at our first appt I asked what to do if we accidentally cut her so I was prepared) so that helped me be calm about it. But I didn't tell DH, haha! (And he didn't notice!) He tends to WAY overreact. Once I was passing her to him on the couch (we were both sitting) and I thought he had her and her head fell LESS THAN ONE INCH onto the remote. The tiniest little bonk. I got SCREAMED at for my carelessness. Yes, overprotective papa. (Who later apologized.) He freaks out over her health and safety, it's cute but annoying!
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@kjpugs: It was private, I took it off because I wanted to win a Tula, but she found me! It's private now and I'm going to block her (and my niece since she creeps on other people's accounts).
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And to top it off, a girl from my birth class posted on IG that she's below her pre-preg weight AND back in her size 0 jeans. Which burns me up as I sit here in maternity work pants and while I rock my pre-preg size 10's, I'm still 15 pounds above pre-preg with the belly to prove it.
Le sigh. Slow and steady wins the race. I'm not willing to jeopardize my supply in order to lose 15 pounds fast, so I'll keep plugging along.
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@Avivoca: I'm right there with you on the weight front. I've cut back on food and amped up my exercise, but I can't seem to shake this 15 pounds. I'm currently wearing size 16 jeans because I refuse to wear my maternity pants. But that is way above my usual size of a 10/12. Just need to keep at it...
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I highly suggest biting the nails instead. It's my new strategy
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@Zbug: My mom tells me bite her nails but I try & I just can't make it work!
@avivoca: @TFrances: Well, I am way fatter than both of you so I win
I was overweight to begin with but I can't fit into my old size 14 stuff I have been wearing the same 5 items over & over because I refuse to buy plus size clothes. I just started working out this week though so hopefully that makes a difference. I am terrified of jeopardizing my measly supply. I figure at 6 months she will be eating solids & I can start dieting then. The past 3 months have gone by so insanely fast, what's another three?Random poll: When do all of you think you will TTC again? I am hoping next time around, I'll get some of you in my due date club again! There is very little chance of us having another one anytime soon just from a scientific standpoint... It would have to be a baby Jesus style miracle!
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@daniellemybelle: I'd love to TTC later this year. I want them close and I'd like to be done by 30. We'll see though. We've DTD once and while it didn't hurt, it wasn't super awesome either since my husband was kind of sick and neither of us felt great about our bodies.
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S*** your husband says: "You have ten sick days that you have to use by the end of the year, and you're not going to use one today." It's snowing. He didn't want to take h out in it but wouldn't let me drive to work. He's already off today.
I am working hard to not be mommy tracked at work and trying to save my sick days for actual doctor's appointments and illnesses. Forgive me for actually going to work.
Butthole. End Vent.
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@Daniellemybelle: Ditto on the not buying plus size clothing front. I went to Target yesterday and bought three shirts (L that I can actually wear) and two pairs of pants (14s that I couldn't even attempt to button). Guess the pants will be going back, but at least I got a few non maternity shirts to wear.
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@avivoca: Wow, that's soon! I'm 26 so I feel like we have some time. Right now we are saying that after she turns 2, we'll NTNP, but we might move that up to 18 months depending on our financial situation. At 18 months I want to start S at Montessori preschool (before then it will be Grammy-care for the most part) so I feel like that would be good timing.
That's pretty frustrating about your hubby!
I'm sure he knows you'd love to stay home today if you could!
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@Daniellemybelle @Avivoca: I would like to be done having kids before I'm 35. As I am currently 31 (32 in March), I told DH I wanted to TTC in about 6 months to 1 year. I figure this will be enough of a gap between the two littlest ones (remember I have 10 year old twins) but enough of a gap that I don't feel completely overwhelmed. Now I just need to convince DH of my plan. He's still a bit unsure about having another... but I don't want Arthur to grow up basically as an only child.
she is now consistently sleeping from 7:30 until 6! so proud of her and so thankful for the sleep i get! i hope everybody is doing well and surviving the polar vortex 
Can you tell she's teething???
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