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@illumina: I hope so! I feel really nervous about it. It's so different when it's your own!! I have high expectations hahaha
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@illumina: Fabulous pictures. I love them!
@mrssquirrels: I know yours will turn out amazing! It should be easier since your lo will be more comfortable with you.We had ours done last week and here are a few previews we got back.
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Oh, my perfect sleeper had the night from hell last night as he screamed for hours with nothing wrong. We had family over and after one feeding I had him asleep but they wanted to hold him so I let them but he woke up and never went to bed. I think because he got off schedule he just didn't know what to do. I tell this in case it prevents one of you from enduring the same long night.
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I am loving all these photos! We had an unexpected large expense the day before delivery, so now I'm not sure if we can still swing the newborn photos, I'm pretty bummed. DH and I still need to talk about it though.
@marionberry: we had a rough day yesterday too because we had to go to the Dr. Our first outing with baby and I think she just got super over stimulated and would not sleep all afternoon. Lesson learned for sure. Sorry it was a hard night for you guys, nap today!
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@MrsStormy: can you try to take some yourself? There are lots of Pinterest pins about making backdrops and you can buy fun props from etsy or just use things from around your house. Then just get your baby to sleep and click away. And yes I think today I will definitely be napping once my mom gets here.
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@marionberry: Beautiful! I love that last photo- you look really well
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We have been holding LO quite a bit during the day today as I have been nursing her and then letting her fall asleep on me whilst I watch TV or catch up with stuff online. I was beginning to feel like I might regret that when it came to night time and I would need to put her in her basket... and it turns out I was right. It's almost 11pm and we have been trying to get her down for half an hour and she's just crying, then going quiet, then crying for a few minutes, then quiet and repeat. I don't know what to do. Do I persevere for a bit longer and let her CIO or do I pick her up again? I don't want her to think she's being abandoned but I also need to sleep tonight and I can't sleep holding her!!
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@ilumina: she is gorgeous! And the photos look amazing
@marionberry: those pictures are just perfect! I love the one with the two of you together
@mrsstormy: We weren't able to swing newborn photos, either, and it makes me a little sad
But we have definitely taken a million pictures of him so it's not like we aren't capturing this moment (this is what I tell myself when I feel sad about it). I do like @marionberry:'s suggestion of looking at Pinterest and trying snap some ourselves, though!
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@illumina: My mom was just saying to me that maybe we need to put lo in his crib to sleep since when he knows you're around he's less apt to sleep. Idk how I feel about that though.
@mamamagpie: @illumina: Thanks for the comments about the photo. I think it's all an illusion that I look well lol. Face may be ok, body definitely still in recovery, especially from the rash. -
@marionberry: well we decided to continue with CIO. I decided to take a shower and when I got back DH said she'd been asleep for 15mins! I think your Mum may have a point, S seemed to drift off once I had left the room!
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@illumina: Swaddle with arms out worked?!?? Maybe I'll have to try that one day. As for pumping, you are not a terrible mother. I also find it overwhelming to be in charge of Paige's meals. I guess it comes down to how important being able to breastfeed is for you. You'll risk your supply taking a hit if you don't do feedings in the night at this early stage. How long did it take your LO to fall asleep on her own? I've been always putting P down after she's well asleep but I've been wondering if i should be doing the whole drowsy but awake thing.
@Mrs squirreld: 6 hours, you lucky girl! You must have felt like a million bucks after that!
@char54: glad to hear your LO is doing so well! Must be a relief.
@mrsstormy: great name! I wanted to name our Lo Grace, but Hubs vetoed it very early on.
Totally jealous of the newborn pics! I just can't seem to get it together right now to look into it.
@marionberry: Isn't it crazy how messed up babies get with too much commotion? I haven't been able to see my family yet, without it affecting Paige. Before having her, I would have thought she'd sleel right through visits.
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@Grace: our midwife told us we actually shouldn't be swaddling with arms IN at night at all! This was a surprise to us as this is how they put babies down in the hospital- though apparently this is only done the first night or so after birth. Now we always swaddle with arms out. She likes putting her hands in her mouth as if to self-soothe.
She fell asleep after 40mins. She cried for 8, quiet for 5, cried for 5, quiet for 15... that sort of thing until she drifted off. We figured as long as the quiet parts were getting longer we were ok. I woke up this morning, fed her, played a little in her rocker, then held her until she fell asleep and put her in her basket straight away. She's stayed asleep for the moment so hopefully she'll get more used to being there.
Also that's interesting about P and visits! S just sleeps through everyone visiting. They'll pass her around an she's just out the whole time. Even if she's awake when people arrive she'll look whose around and then sleep!
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I just had a hilarious first time mum moment! I decided to express for the first time to get a feel for how it worked and just being interested in how much milk actually comes out. So I got a little pot and placed it under my boob... then I expressed and literally milk shot out, squirting both me and Sophie (who was lying in my lap) in the eyes!! Scary stuff!
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@marionberry: @illumina: wow - what amazing pictures!! Your LOs are so so adorable!!!
@illumina: @grace: C much prefers to be swaddled arms out too...she always has to have her hands near her face. I wonder if that's how she was in the womb?
@illumina: lol! I'm picturing that happening and laughing out loud. My milk has started squirting when I pump and its just the strangest thing!
Things have been going well here...past 2 nights she has fallen right asleep after eating which I am eternally grateful for. She seems to finally have her days and nights straightened out. I'm still pumping 6-7 times a day and able to make enough milk to give her breast milk bottles all day and then I supplement with formula in the middle of the night.
We met with the lactation consultant today who gave me a prescription to boost my milk supply. It would be great if I could make enough to start a freezer stash.
My mom took C for a few hours tonight and it was soooo strange not having her in the house. Dh and I looked at each other like "now what??!!" . How quickly our lifestyles have changed!!
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So I have a question for you ladies, I am 6 days post partum. I would like to try and pump so I can relieve some engorgement, and I'd like to have a stash because I will be going back to work, and tbh I sort of hate breastfeeding and do have quite a bit of pain, so having the option to give a bottle if my nipples can't take it would be nice ( I am also questioning how long I can last breastfeeding.... It's so hard!). The lactation consultant did not want me to pump, because hey did not want me to over stimulate supply. What are you all doing?
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@char54: glad you guys seem to be getting into a rhythm. How is pumping going for you is it a big commitment? Also a few hours without baby sounds crazy! I'm sure it was strange, but good for you guys for taking the opportunity!
@MamaMagpie: @marionberry: Yeah I think we might try to get some ourselves as well. DH is thinking we should still do the,, but we will see.
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@MrsStormy: I started pumping around 6 days. Tbh I never really liked bfing...she took sooo long to feed at the breast that it is much faster to give her the bottle and pump afterwards.
I know some people hate pumping but I actually really enjoy it, so much that after a couple days of doing both pump and bfing I quit bfing all together to focus on pumping exclusively. We are both so much happier and bottle feeding has been more of a bonding experience than bfing was. It is so so nice to have Dh and family feed her as well.
That being said I'm dealing with low supply, not oversupply so I don't know much about that. If you are making lots I would think pumping would allow you to start a freezer stash?
Maybe bfing would have gotten easier for us as the time went on but I wasn't that dedicated to it and never had a real intense desire to bf so pumping for the moment seems to be my happy medium!
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@char54: this is pretty much exactly how I feel, I don't love breastfeeding, I don't really find it bonding, and I know DH would love to be able to feed her. I also was never that committed to bfing, I was committed to try and that was that, so we will see I guess.
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@MrsStormy: we sound like the same person! I was always committed to trying, but it didn't work out easily for us and my LC started asking me to try all these crazy things and I realized I wasn't as dedicated as they thought I was.
At first I felt guilty for not wanting to bf, then I felt guilty for not feeling guilty, lol. Now I'm at peace and we are both much happier! I feel more like a mother.
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@MrsStormy: For me, the pain of breast feeding is almost gone now at almost 2w postpartum. So there's a chance it can get better. I don't particularly love bf but I'm trying to stay committed to it. I just got my pump in and think I'm going to start pumping to relieve engorgement and create a work stash but for now I think I'll pump for storage and not give a bottle of breast milk until 1 month. At least that's my goal. I can't wait for then because it would be so much help to have DH and others be able to feed him. Not to mention he's now cluster feeding so life from 6-10 kind of sucks!
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Quick question for you ladies who are pumping: which pumps do you have? I need to order one and just found out my insurance won't cover the Medela I wanted
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@char54: you're so lucky! As bad as it sounds, I would love for someone to take S off our hands for a couple of hours, just so I don't have to stress about whether she needs changing or a feed or might wake up at any moment needing the above!
@MrsStormy: we decided to do a pumping/bottle feeding experiment today to see if firstly I can pump easily and secondly to see if she will take the bottle. I pumped straight after feeding on the other breast after the first feed of the morning and then after lunch we offered her the bottle. At first she kind of tried to push it away but then once we dripped a little milk into her mouth from it she took it and a few seconds later she figured out how to suck it. I only pumped about 0.5oz and she guzzled that instantly. I put her to the boob straight after and there were no issues whatsoever with confusion, which I was nervous about. So I'm going to get a pump ASAP and continue to keep at least a bottle on standby so Dh can help with a night feed or for if we go out.
@marionberry: I love breastfeeding most of the time, but the cluster feeding frustrates me. Apart from feeling like I can't get anything much done during that time, she spits up so much that I'm forever changing and washing her clothes
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@MamaMagpie: I haven't got super far with my research yet, but I'm thinking of getting the Medela Swing. Does that mean you can't get the particular Medela you wanted, or none of that brand at all?
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@illumina: none of that brand at all
My insurance lets me choose between three medical supply companies, and of those three only one carried a Medela model (Advanced Personal Double Electric) but when I called yesterday they said United (my ins) doesn't let me choose that one. So bummed. Now I'm going to research the other options...I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed these last couple of days. H has been waking to nurse almost every 40 minutes at night, and I'm exhausted. We had his 2-week "well check" yesterday and he is doing fantastically well, but this mama is experiencing some baby blues
I feel guilty about it, because I love him so much and am so glad he's here, but I have had moments of thinking "oh my gosh, what did we do? We will never be able to just chill out at watch TV together again"...cue immense guilt. I think once I'm able to sleep for at least a couple of hours in a row at night that that might help...I hope so, and I hope it's soon.
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@MamaMagpie: You're not alone mama! I'm hanging out in blues-ville with you
I know what you mean about the guilt; though I can't help feeling relieved when she's finally sleeping and hoping the bottle feeding continues to be successful so I can get out of the house for a few hours on the weekend by myself.
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@MamaMagpie: I have a Medela PISA....I'm jealous of all you American ladies having your pumps covered by insurance.
I called mine to ask and they pretty much laughed in my face. I ended up buying my pump in the states as it was much cheaper than here in Canada (225$ vs 375$!)@illumina: @MamaMagpie: I hear you on having "wtf did we do?" Moments. I love love love her so much but at 3am it all seems overwhelming. I have to say that giving her bottles has helped tremendously in taking the pressure off of me to do everything. Every day I feel myself getting more into a routine and more comfortable and happier. I think it's natural to feel a bit overwhelmed in the beginning, especially considering the hormones that are leaving our bodies and the lack of sleep!
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@char54: what's the PISA? It always takes me so long to make a decision, but I really need to get mine ordered soon for the reasons you gave.
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Does anyone let their LO's CIO at all ever? We kind of do and we don't. As in we try it for a few mins, sometimes a couple mins is all it takes and she stops crying all of a sudden and passes out! Earlier I had to let her CIO for longer because we had guests coming over, I was on my own and I had to shower and get dressed etc. Sometimes it just doesn't work though... I can usually tell quite soon if it will or not and if not I have to pick her up again. It's tough because I know I have just fed her, changed her, and she is wrapped up warm and usually she has already fallen asleep on my lap... it's when I transfer her to her moses basket she often wakes up and will not settle again.
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@illumina: Ha! I tried arms out and the naps were super short. I think I'll stick with Harvey Karp's method. I don't think I could let LO cry that long yet. Geez, when Hubs takes a long time to calm her, my stomach tightens, I get hot and super anxious. I have been letting her cry for 2-3 min before I get her to make sure she's really up though. And I've let her fuss on her own for a while. Fussing doesn't cause me the same distress.
@MrsStormy: I haven't tried pumping yet, but I'm on mat leave until July, so I figure there's no rush. My understanding though, is that if you pump to relieve engorgement, that your body will make even more and make it worse. The engorgement only lasted 2 days for me - maybe your's will resolve itself soon?
@MamaMagpie: I had the baby blues too. Aren't they awful? They got better for me between 2 and 3 weeks. If yours don't get better, please go see the dr. Stupid hormones. Oh, and btw, I feel the baby blues have left me and I still have the "what did we do?" moments. I think it's only natural when your whole life has turned upsidedown. I just keep telling myself that it gets better!
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Last night was a little rough. Given S is such a great sleeper during the day and most of the night is fine, it's frustrating when she won't settle for no reason. I re-read that recent thread on "witching hours" and I think she definitely has this, for a period starting around 9/10pm to 1am where she will not settle at all! Last night it started at 10pm and went on until 3am. She didn't particularly want to nurse and we would hold her, her eyes would shut and then a minute later they would be open and she'd start fussing again for a few minutes, wear herself out and start to drift off over and over again. It was like she was obviously tired but fighting it. Tonight we are going to pre-empt it and get ready to start watching Homeland season 2 on DVD and ride it out!
S had her 10 day check up today. She's back up to 6lbs 10oz now, so gaining steadily. The midwife was giving us advice for our spit up issues and suggested I may have a forceful let-down so to express for 5mins before feeding. THEN she totally surprised me by saying "and then you can give her that milk in a bottle at a later feed"!! I planned to bring up introducing a bottle anyway, but I was sure she was going to say wait a while. She said in her 40yrs experience, she has never seen a case of nipple/bottle confusion. She also said letting her CIO for a while is absolutely fine at this stage and may actually be beneficial in helping her with patience. So I'm feeling much more confident about the decisions we make
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@illumina: LO has a witching hour too. Boy are they rough when you just want to sleep! I just take it as cluster feeding.
@mamamagpie: have you thought about purchasing a pump out of pocket so that you can get the one you want? Otherwise I've heard medela, lansinoh and ameda electrics are the way to go. I have a medela PISA but haven't gotten a chance to use it yet.
@mrsstormy: My LC yesterday told me to pump at might or first thing in the morning and to store the milk until 3.5-4 weeks where I should introduce one bottle a day so I think we're gonna try that.
@grace: Lucky you! My engorgement never ends and I'm always leaking in the morning and at night!
@char54: We are very lucky that pumps are covered now but insurers get to pick which kind they cover so I know some will just give you the handheld. I'd kill for your maternity benefits though instead! -
@illumina: Ugh, that is rough. Hopefully she'll let you take a nap today. I'm glad your midwife gave you some confidence. That's awesome!
@marionberry: I totally thought engorgement just went down after a few days. I mean, I still leak and it hurts if P sleeps more than normal, but I'm not drowning her at every feeding anymore. Ohh, maybe it went down because P eats every 1.5-2 hours! If she slept longer, maybe the engorgment would be worse.
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@MamaMagpie: I understand the baby blues feeling. The past couple of days I've been getting a little case late afternoon/early evening. It is totally normal (I keep reminding myself this), but its not real fun. For me it's this feeling of being completely overwhelmed, and like I will never have freedom again, be able to be alone, or leave the house.... But yet I love her so much and already can't imagine my life without her. Hormones suck.
@marionberry: yeah, this is sort of my goal, pump a little so I have a stash at 3-4 weeks I can give her. I also only feed one side at each feed, for 2 reasons, one, once she's full and unlatched she will not wake up to latch on. And two, I still have pretty excruciating pain with her latch on at most feelings and I normally just can't bring myself to put both breasts through it at each feed. So yesterday I decided to pump first thing and before bed from the second side only.... Hoping that plan works for me....
@illumina: we don't really CIO, but we don't just scoop her up ever time she stirs, we normally wait until she cries, then grab her. I'm a lot like @Grace: just how long it sometimes takes to calm her down from hysterical gives me anxiety.
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@MamaMagpie: I hear you on the every 40 minutes thing. our pediatrician encouraged us to push Emily's feeds further apart to give me a break and to get her used to not feeding every hour. it was rough at first, lots of crying and rocking/soothing, etc... but I needed to give my nipples a rest and she was doing well with weight gain, so the doc told us to try to push her to every 3 hrs.. this morning she let me sleep from 7am to 10am!!! I feel like a new person!
also they told us that bottle feeding is better for the baby than PPD. so if you are truly feeling blues-y then you should maybe try to have DH give her a bottle through the night to give you a break, if you are open to it - I am trying to wait to give her any bottles until she is at least a month old... it is rough. -
@MrsStormy: That's exactly what they told me to do! Pump one breast while he feeds off the other. So good job! I needed to get smaller breast shields before I could pump but I intend to try tonight.
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FYI: i went and saw a lactation consultant (our local wic office has open hours for free, and you don't need to be eligible for their svcs), I am feeling a bit better and they helped with our latch and positioning, so hopefully that will help, she also taught me to use a shield if needed. Oh and she taught me to nurse lying on my side, which is amazing! I'm really hoping things get better now. They encouraged me to continue with the pumping I was doing as well, so that was good.
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@MrsStormy: side-lying is my fave position. Unfortunately it is not always convenient to do so but that's what I have been doing every morning. So nice to have DH at home in the mornings to deal with ds so lo and I can have our snuggle/bf time
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@mrsmoreau: Did you do the rocking/soothing to push the feeds later at night too? How much longer did you have to stay up than if you just fed her in the first place? Just curious.
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@Grace: yes we tried to push every feed. Basically I treated feeding as a "last resort" everytime she fussed. We diapered, adjusted temperature/clothing, burped, rocked, etc BEFORE feeding. And only fed her if absolutely necessary. It seems cruel but it worked and she is sleeping better and eating full meals now rather than snacking every hour
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@Grace: and we had to stay up longer at first but it has paid off already
But we have definitely taken a million pictures of him so it's not like we aren't capturing this moment (this is what I tell myself when I feel sad about it). I do like @marionberry:'s suggestion of looking at Pinterest and trying snap some ourselves, though!
I know what you mean about the guilt; though I can't help feeling relieved when she's finally sleeping and hoping the bottle feeding continues to be successful so I can get out of the house for a few hours on the weekend by myself.
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