-
I haven't posted in weeks.
But, I've been reading along and following along just the same.I hope you'll indulge me venting about my ridiculous work situation.
For a few weeks I've been having a really tough time with sleep. I wake up a bunch to pee, I wake up sometimes with arch cramps, I wake up sometimes because my circadian clock has gone funny and it feels like time to get up for the day at 3:30am. Sometimes I get back to sleep easily, sometimes I have trouble due to hip and/or rib pain and/or anxious/racing thoughts.
I talked to my supervisor about trying to take some four day work weeks back when it was crappy but not yet critical. She (also pregnant) was pretty dismissive: just said pregnancy can be hard, we don't have coverage to give me time off, working through discomforts is a necessary sacrifice to have time off with baby.
Things kept getting worse. Last Saturday I made a dumb medical error and had a few other near misses because I was so sleep deprived. I was really shaken and upset about how badly it affected my work performance.
I emailed my supervisor again saying I really needed to speak with her about scheduling accommodations to be sure I'm getting enough sleep to practice safely.
The first response I got was an email from HR placing me on FMLA. Followed by a curt phone call from my supervisor saying that if I was a danger to patients I wasn't allowed to work anymore unless my care providers cleared me.
I see a very small midwifery practice -- 3 midwives, 1 office manager. One of the midwives is on vacation. The other two have been attending births and one has also been dealing with a family emergency. One of the midwives asked the office manager to prepare everything...but something got garbled in the handoff.
End result is that I've been out of work for 3.5 days now. Still don't know if I'll be able to go back to work tomorrow. My midwives are irked with me because I keep nagging them about a thing that really isn't customary to do. My coworkers and supervisor are pissed with me because I'm not at work (and the resultant additional work burden on them).
And I've blown through leave that really would've been nice to have available for sleep debt days when I did need it, or postpartum.
The whole thing just really sucks.
-
@lilyofthewest: Wow, that's sounds really complicated and frustrating!
Sounds like people on both ends are not being very helpful and you're stuck in the middle trying to figure stuff out. So sorry to hear you're going through this in addition to the physical discomfort and sleeplessness. -
@lilyofthewest: that sucks! You're not alone on the sleep thing! Have you tried your GP? Perhaps they can write you the correct note
-
@Banana330: Fortunately, I *just* got confirmation from my midwives that they did send in my paperwork, finally!
Which is good, 'cause I don't have a GP at present. I left Kaiser coverage (and therefore all my Kaiser providers) in order to switch to insurance with midwifery coverage. They do basic adult primary care for their patients as well as preggo stuff, so, I was putting off finding a new GP until post-baby. Oops!
-
@lilyofthewest: good to hear it's been sorted! Hopefully you can get some rest!
-
@As Time Goes By: I am so sorry you have been experiencing the itching for so long! The itching was better yesterday than the day before, but it's still there.
@lilyofthewest: What a mess! I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of that and still not have a good solution.
I called my doctor's office yesterday about the itching yesterday. They are squeezing me in on Monday to test for cholestasis. I'm glad they are being proactive and cautious. I didn't want to sound crazy over the phone, but the doctor (not my normal doctor) was super nice and understanding.
-
I am really late to the game here, but I just discovered this site and would love to join the other April mamas!
Location: Vermont
EDD: April 12
How far along: 32 weeks
First child? 2nd; first (girl) is 1.5 years
Any symptoms so far? I feel like my morning sickness is coming back a bit. Smells are grossing me out, and I've been vomiting & dry heaving the past few days... ugh.
Who have you told? Everyone, finally!
There's no hiding it at this point.Looking forward to talking with you all and sharing the last couple months of this pregnancy with you!
-
@Mary Mary: welcome! I have to admit I am a huge slacker when it comes to posting, but this is a generally really active board with lots of friendly ladies
-
@Mary Mary: Welcome! This is a great group! I'm on my second pregnancy with a 17 month old...just having twins this time around.
-
@Mary Mary: welcome! Another second time mom here. My daughter is 15 months so my girls will be 17 months apart. Do you know what you are having this time?
-
@meredithNYC: I'm a total slacker, too... I binge post and then will be absent for days. But I'm excited to talk with other people due at the same time!
@marionberry: Wow, twins! That's awesome. 3 under 2!
@NeekieRose: We are team green (and were the first time, too). I've been thinking it's a boy, but my intuition is totally unreliable, so... it's anyone's guess. DD and this baby will be about 22 months apart.
-
@Mary Mary: welcome! it's always great to have more second time moms around for us first time moms
my nausea is totally coming back too and it's horrible. anyone else also have awful reflux? i am burping NONSTOP (cute) and every time i lie down i feel like i'm gonna throw up... they just don't warn you about these horrible side effects to growing a babe. i am counting down the days now and can't wait for this pregnancy to be over!!!
-
@loki: oh yeah. I have three bottles of tums: purse, kitchen, and nightstand. Plan on popping them pretty much constantly for the next 6 weeks.
-
@loki: I have some waves of nausea and I do feel a little barfy when I lie down. On the one hand I'm like, welp, only two more months to go. On the other hand I'm like, TWO MORE MONTHS OF THIS?!?!?
-
@loki: yes! Reflux and heartburn has been awful. Tums no longer cut it, so moved to Tagament snd now Zantac. But honestly not much helps. I'm awake in the middle of the night in a regular basis and have to sit up to sleep. Sorry it's bad for you too!
@Mary Mary: congrats and welcome to you!!!
Things are going better over here. I've only been going into the office 1-2 times per week for the past 3 weeks, so the decrease in walking and activity has helped the contractions in terms of frequency and intensity. We had one of our showers this weekend and it was amazing! I felt so loved and was super emotional. My mom and sister cane into town and it was awesome to have them there. My mom stayed a couple extra days to help with the nursery and we made some great progress!
DH is sick with a sinus infection so I have him quarantined to our bedroom and am constantly wiping things down with Lysol so I stay healthy!
We have our growth u/s in 2 weeks and I'm so excited! Our last one was at 20 weeks and I'm curious what position baby is. The NP told me yesterday they she thought he was transverse but couldn't tell for sure until the U/s. I sure hope he starts getting head down!
How is everyone else feeling? Excited? Nervous? Impatient? Ready? Not ready?
-
Calendar update to welcome @Mary mary! Corrections welcome as always.
I'm also looking for suggestions for baby shower hostess gifts. Anybody have good ideas?
I can't believe how close it's getting. We are still working through our to-do list, but I am sort of feeling weirdly ready. Though maybe that's just the beginning of feeling over being pregnant. It is starting to get difficult to find a comfortable position to relax in, particularly when I'm on my laptop. Difficult with no lap.
I pulled the trigger and booked a maternity mini-session with a photographer that I found and love! I'm excited that this is going to work out. I really didn't want to spend money on a whole maternity photo package, so I'm pretty happy to get a few photos for cheap. I am pretty sure I want the same photographer to do our newborn photos since I love her lifestyle shooting (I'm not into poses and props) and she's so affordable.
I also set up a couple of doula interviews. I still haven't decided if I want to spend the money on one or not, particularly since we already took the 12-week Bradley course so we feel pretty prepared, but I found a few doulas with availability on our due date who have only a year or two of experience and thus have very low rates. Part of me just feels like it would be really nice to have a helper in the room in case of a long labor, since DH and I are bound to get tired.
-
@NeekieRose: @meredithNYC: @SunshineMcC: sorry to hear you guys are struggling but good to know i'm not alone. 7 more weeks sounds really long to me. i'm totally ready to meet this little girl and get going on life. i still have tons to do but i feel pretty prepared for all the big stuff and just can't wait to be no longer pregnant haha.
my best friend is due in 2 weeks (!!!) and i'm soooo jealous of her. she's done work now and just doing last minute prep and will have her babe soooo soon. it makes my due date feel eons away!
@PawPrints: thanks for doing the calendar! i have nooo idea what to get as hostess gifts. one of my girl friends is going ALL OUT by the sounds of it and i definitely need to do something special for her. i wish i could get her T Swift tix but it's probably not in the budget.
-
@loki: It may change, but at this point I am not super anxious for baby to get here. If she was born tomorrow, I know it would be fine and we are prepared enough, but there seems like a lot more I need to get done. I did move all of Reagan's clothes into her new room and unpacked all the 0-3 month clothes and put them away in the nursery.
I'll be honest, it still doesn't feel 100% real that there is going to be another baby in less than 6 weeks. (41 days or less....)
-
@Mary Mary: Welcome!
I totally get the feeling of it's really close yet really far. I mean waiting 8 weeks for something is a long time! but then again we're so close to the end that maybe it feel close in comparision.
I for one can't wait to be done work! I'm working on a project I dread, and I don't think is going to work out very well.
We have our birthing classes this weekend, apparently we watch some birthing videos. I'm not sure I really want to see it before it happens.... Otherwise the nursery is pretty much set up. It turns out we have one drawer of NB/0-3 clothes. Hopefully it's the right amount.
-
I'm a couple of weeks behind many of y'all, but, I am not not not ready. We still don't have
- a pediatrician
- a firm daycare plan (though we won't need one until Oct)
- about half of the essential baby stuff (including car seat)
- I haven't done my taxes. I usually wait until the last few days, but, that doesn't seem advisable this year with a due date 4 days after tax day.It also feels like we just got started with our birth class. First it got pushed back by 3 weeks due to low enrollment, then pushed back another week due to the instructor's health, and then last night's session was rescheduled due to weather.
But! I ordered my breast pump this morning. So, there's one to-do list item finished.
I feel especially meh about having so much stuff still on the to-do list because I am *still* off work. My midwives said they got my medical certification stuff in to work on Friday. But, HR didn't review it before they end of the day. HR doesn't work weekends, so that meant I was still off on Saturday and Sunday. Monday was a holiday, so no HR. Yesterday was a snow day, so no HR. So far today, no one has returned my calls or emails, so, I don't know whether I'll be called in to work at some point today or not.
After having over a week out of work I really don't want to go back, but, I need that leave and that money later if I'm going to have a job to go back to.
-
@lilyofthewest: How stressful! I hope you get some good sleeps, and get back to work soon. So frustrating dealing with HR.
@Mary Mary: Welcome. I have a 1.5 year old girl too! Do you know what you're having this time around?
@PawPrints: Sorry I don't know how to edit the calendar (or if I can?) but my due date was adjusted to Princess Kate's April 17th.
-
@Rockies11: I placed Kate arbitrarily (they don't announce the royal due date) so nobody would have to share with her, so I'll push her out a few days so you can have the 17th. Thanks for the correction.
@loki: Taylor Swift tickets would be a huge hostess gift! I am likely more looking at a restaurant gift certificate or a nice pair of designer earrings I think. Maybe with wine.
-
@PawPrints: @loki: Random note on Taylor Swift tickets...DH bought tickets to her show here in July. Not sure what got into him last week. Him and the husband of our good couple friends came up with the plan. So apparently we have a double date to the concert coming up this summer!
-
@PawPrints: Thanks for the update! I hope I have her before the 17th. It seems like an impossibly long time away.
-
@PawPrints: Regarding hostess gifts, my hosts are our very close friends, a husband and wife with two beautiful kids. We decided to give them a night of babysitting and a gift certificate to a special restaurant. I think they liked it!
-
@Mary Mary: Hi there and welcome!
@PawPrints: I am not sure what to do for hostess gifts either! My sister and a group of friends are working together to put everything together. I don't want to spend a lot per person because that would be way too expensive! Please share when you come up with something
-
@lilyofthewest: i hope your work situation gets sorted soon! that must be stressful.
@PawPrints: ya i probably won't do anything that extravagant, she's just the greatest friend so i'd love to be able to do something special for her. and since she isn't here until october i think i'd plan to take the other ticket
@NeekieRose: so cute, that's amazing!
eta: i woke up yesterday with a horrible cough & cold... i went to work and as the day progressed it got worse and worse. the commute is really taking a toll on me and i think i'm going to need to talk to my boss about working from home more frequently. if i can't... i might need to start thinking about short term disability or something. is anyone doing that? or have you done it in previous pregnancies? it's stressing me out but the commute is honestly killing me, i cry every dayyyyy either on the way to or back from work.
-
@loki: do you have short term sick leave with work? Otherwise EI covers sick leav you'd need a doctors note and they would have to approve you but you can get up to 15 weeks sick leave and it doesn't effect your 52 weeks of EI. I'd look in to working from home, and talk to your doctor about signing you off.
-
@Banana330: i'm not 100% sure how it works but a girl i work with said she took short term disability two weeks before her due date... just had a doctor's note and was paid fully for those 2 weeks. i'm going to talk to my OB next week about the possibility of getting a note and then i'll probably approach my boss and say i'd rather work from home but if that isn't an option, i will have to leave early. i'm sure she'd prefer i stay as long as possible!
-
@loki: oh, I am so sorry for your work/commute situation! I know the struggles of a long commute (at the best of times!) and can't even imagine doing it while pregnant. I hope your work is supportive and you can work something out. Are you still going to do the 3 or 4 day week thing leading up to April?
@ineebee: a night of baby sitting and a gift certificate to a restaurant is a GREAT idea for a shower host gift! I think this might be a good option for my host...
Not much to report here, I am doing loads of exercises (cat-cows, bridges etc) to try and get my baby to turn. I don't think he has yet, as I can still feel a lump wedged in by my ribcage which I think is his head. In other news, my breast pump arrived yesterday! I can't believe how easy the process was, I just ordered it online, plugged in my insurance details and didn't have to pay a cent, not even for shipping!
-
@loki: Sorry to hear the commute is so taxing! I can completely relate. Being able to work from home has made such a difference. Do you think your doctor would write you a note? That's what mine did and I think it made a big difference in my office being OK with it. I hope you can get that to work out!
@lulu22: what position is baby in? I don't know for sure, but last week the NP said she thought he was transverse. I have an ultrasound in 2 weeks where they'll be able to check for sure. I feel most movement up under my right rib and it's pretty hard there, so is either a head or bum! Good luck and keep us posted! I need to order my breast pump too - DH's insurance covers it, as mine doesn't (I'm on both for double coverage right now).
@lilyofthewest: Any news on the work situation? Hoping you get some resolution soon! I'm with you in terms of needing to get things done - we had one shower last weekend and two more coming up, so hoping we get some of the bigger items - crib mattress, car sear, stroller, etc. We need to do our taxes as well, and I've put day care on hold, as LO won't start until mid-August.
@Banana330: Good luck with the birth class this weekend. We only had one birth video and it was partially live and partially animated - very graphic, but I got all teary-eyed anyways!
@NeekieRose: I agree that it doesn't feel real either. Like, I'm huge and know a baby is in there, and the nursery is coming together, but the thought of having a LO here still seems a bit foreign. I just can't wait to meet him!
@PawPrints: thanks for the calendar update!
-
I went back to work today y'all! It was tiring, but, it was nice to do something useful and productive rather than melding slowly into my couch for another day.
There's still some douchery going on. Work is trying to get me to commit to a reduced overall schedule rather than accommodating the likely significantly less frequent (but less predictable) intermittent leave my care providers certified for. Still don't know how that's going to shake out, but, at least things are moving in the right direction.
And now to stop looking at screens that will mess up my sleep and just go to bed!
-
@lilyofthewest: So glad to hear it! Yay!
-
Is anyone else sweating profusely at night? Ugh - I had this in the first trimester and it's back again in full force. I had to get up twice last night and change undies and get clean, dry towels to lay on, since the sheets were soaked! Our bedroom is a few degrees cooler than the rest of the house, and we had our fan on, so I don't think the temp will do anything for it. Anyone else dealing with this??
-
@SunshineMcC: Funny you mention this -- It wasn't in the middle of the night, but yesterday right before dinner, I suddenly got extremely hot and sweaty! And I'm always colder than everyone else. DH, in his jeans and hoodie, looked at me like I was crazy when I stripped down to jersey pants and a tank top, dabbing sweat from my chest.
Also, I had my shower today! It was a LOT of fun! Our hosts really tailored it to our tastes and made it super low-key with delicious food and relaxing and funny games. How's everyone else's weekend going?
-
@ineebee: I had my shower too! My mom went all out on decor and it was a really fun time. I am pretty sure I'm going to have too many newborn diapers though - if I can figure out where some are from I might trade them out for size ones. Here are some pics...
Oh and not sweaty here but utterly uncomfortable. My vaginal bones just ache while I walk now. I had my appt last week and all seemed well so I'm back in another two. It's surprising how hands off my OB is. I thought for sure I'd have weekly visits by now because of the twins.
-
Sorry I've been MIA ladies! I've not always been getting emails when you post plus I'm in full on nesting mode. We got Jessie's room painted last night. I think we're moving her in today, my dad will be here to measure and design her wall decals this week and we should be good to go!
I'm feeling pretty good. The 20 ish pounds I've gained plus the 25 ish pounds that Jessie weighs makes me breathe so hard any time I have to carry her anywhere and life in general makes me feel pretty exhausted because of the extra toll on my body but I'm actually feeling the best I have this entire pregnancy. I had my 4d ultrasound on Thursday but she had her face pressed against the placenta so while I did see her face, it was only briefly and we didn't get any good pictures so my doc offered to try again this week. After all my qualms with him, I can say that at least he's being pretty nice about this.
I am also hot all the freaking time. It's so annoying. I hope you are all doing well! Miss you ladies! -
@marionberry: oh wow, your mom did such a wonderful job! Everything is so cute. Glad you had a great time.
@Mrs. Sunshine: miss you too! Glad you are feeling good! That's great that your doc is going to try another ultrasound. We have a growth ultrasound a week from Tuesday and I'm so excited! It will be our first since 20 weeks!!
-
@marionberry: Wow that is all so cute!!
-
@marionberry: that is impressive!
Glad to hear everyone is doing well, if a little (or a lot!) uncomfortable. I haven't been getting sweaty yet, but maybe that's because it's so freaking freezing in the Northeast, lol.
But, I've been reading along and following along just the same.
There's no hiding it at this point.
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite2
4680 comments