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@cookie_dough: its so weird when they poke body parts out. this morning I had a foot or knee stick out under my ribs. I'm like okay good morning to you too but can we poke that back in please? kthx. lol
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So, judgment call question for you ladies!
Short version: My aunt got us a rock n play, which we already have. I want to return it but my mom thinks my aunt will be insulted. What to do?
Long version: My aunt is REALLY PUSHY. And she seems convinced I don't know how to do this baby thing. She means well (I think?) but she has made a lot of rude comments about my decisions/registry/etc basically saying I don't know what I'm doing. She was also apparently very annoyed that I didn't register for a lot of the typical baby gear because she really wanted to get me a baby swing. My mom explained we had gotten a ton of that stuff via hand me down, including for sure the exact swing she wanted to buy me. Then she said she wanted to buy me the rock n play, and my mom told her we had that too (hence why it was not registered for!). She was really pushy though and all "well are you POSITIVE?" and my mom said she hadn't personally seen it, but she did believe I had told her I had one already. Well, my aunt went ahead and bought it anyways.
So at my shower I didn't say anything (obviously) and thanked her for all her gifts (she got me other stuff too). She told me the gift receipts for everything were stuffed in the card she gave me. So I got home and looked and there were gift receipts for everything except the rock n play. Of course. I asked my mom if she could ask her for the gift receipt and my mom said she didn't want to because she thought that my aunt would be insulted that I wanted to return it because she was soooo excited to buy it for some reason.
Then my husband pointed out that most places let you return stuff without receipts for store credit. I looked and buy buy baby carries the exact same design of RNP for $75. So obviously I would love to spend that $75 on stuff we will actually USE, since we don't need two RNP. I asked my mom if she'd be upset if I did that and she said no, she (my mom) wouldn't and she understands why I want to-- but be aware that when my aunt comes over post-baby she will likely ask where her RNP is and she may be grumbly if I admit I returned it.
I hate to cause family drama over something so dumb. And honestly the RNP she got us is cuter than our hand me down (it's pink, the hand me down is brown/green). But I'm also very frugal and it sort of drives me nuts to feel like I could have $75 of baby gear I NEED and I'm not doing it just because my aunt for some reason is weirdly attached to us using HER RNP rather than the one we have. (Note: she also got us a crib mattress and sheets which we will use and i've already texted her pics of all set up and thanking her, and she also gave us some clothes we'll keep and send her pics of us using).
Thoughts?
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@Mae: Yikes, that's a tough call! Too bad they don't look the same, would have been easy not to even tell her that you returned it! The only thing I can think of is that, given that your house is on 5 levels (I think?) You might actually find it handy to have two? So you don't have to lug it up and down stairs if you want to use it in different rooms? Obviously it would be nicer to be able to return it guilt-free, but if you are worried about offending her, I'm sure that you could somehow put it to good use? Or use that one at your house, and send your used one to your parents place so they have one when you visit?
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@cookie_dough: We do have a big house. I just feel like we have so many "baby holding devices" already lol. I mean it's a good problem to have. But honestly in addition to crib and pack n play, we also have a swing, a bouncer, and and infant seat. Plus the two rock n plays. And all of these are things that are really only useful the first 4, maybe 6 months anyways. And even though our house is big, I think we will still spend 95% of our awake hours in the great room. Since I don't want her sleeping in the RNP at night I can't imagine we'd use more than 1. (Also my parents live out of town. I doubt we'll go to their house more than once in the first 6 months of her life because they come here a lot).
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@Mae: hmmmm...is she likely to visit you and actually realize that you aren't using hers? Not sure what your family dynamic is like, but I've never had one of my aunts visit me
we just see them at family gatherings! Not that it would really help your frugal side, but you could always donate your original RNP to someone in need, or try re-selling it? Although if you're anything like me, I would feel weird about selling a hand-me-down...I would just donate! Or try swapping it on craigslist or facebook for something you need? (ok, i have no clue if people do that kind of thing, I don't even have a facebook account...but just an idea hahaha)
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@cookie_dough: She plans to come once, after the baby is born. She isn't local either. It would just be an afternoon visit, and it isn't for sure it would really happen.
Also if I do keep hers I'll send the hand me down back to the mom that gave it to me (I mean, it's going back eventually anyways). She is TTC #2 right now but figured I could use all her infant stuff for now since my infant will outgrow it before she needs it for #2 even if she got pregnant immediately
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@Mae: If you really want to return it, I say her feelings are her problem in this case because she had ample evidence that she was buying something you already had.
But if that feels awful, maybe you could hold onto it for two months without opening it to see which baby-holders your girl actually likes, and who knows! Maybe she'll only like the RNP and you'll be glad you have a second one to open and use. If she hates the RNP you have a really good new reason to return it.
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@anandam: Good point. I guess I could just stick it in a closet and see what she likes when she gets here.
Also, btw, I am going to post another calendar here in the next day or two, just because it has been a while! I don't think we have any new info though other than @beebug: 's boy? (Or would you rather I kept you TG for calendar purposes?)
If anyone has any other updates to add, let me know!
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@Mae: My sister was super pushy about my registry too and convinced my mom that we needed a standard cradle. I think DS slept in it like twice. He hated that thing. It is so annoying when people act like they know everything. Your aunt did know that you already had one so how could she be upset if you returned it? Wouldn't she prefer you have something that you can use rather than something sitting in your closet? It might be worth holding on to just in case you want two but I'd say it's totally up to you.
And thanks for working on the calendar! I love the new format you came up with! We are still undecided on names so no change here.Did the pertussis shot really hurt for everyone? I got mine yesterday and I have a big bruise on my arm and it aches like a flu shot. I don't remember it hurting when I got it last time. I'm sure it will feel better by tomorrow, I'm just a baby.
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@skipra: you're assuming a rational thought process… not always the case
My TDAP shot totally hurt and my arm was sooo sore for like 2 days.
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@Mae: lol keep me TG please! Thank-you for asking!
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@Mae: I would so take it back. I would say when she asks when she comes over (assuming that happens!) that you tried baby in the one you already had and she hated it, so returned the unopened one and bought X which you love, and blah blah blah. Fake it til you make it? lol.
I am just finishing up DDs room, it is ridiculous, lol. I am struggling with #2's room right now, it looks too boyish, everything grey looks blue to me, argh.
Picking DH and DD from airport later tomorrow am, I am really excited to see them both.
My doc appt today was good. Up 1lb, to 177lbs, bp was 110/60. Guess who is measuring bang on? Me!! That has so never happened, go baby!! Could have been baby position, but I will take it! Babes is head down, and hb was 140bpm.
I had a great cry/vent session with the doc about everything, and am looking forward to getting to have time to talk with DH.
As for my sickness, she thinks the sleep and health will come as DH and I sort stuff out and my stress level decreases. Said I can use saline nasal spray to help relieve pressure in my face. Today has been my best day, I did work a half day this am, got 6 hours of sleep last night (staying up late worked, woo!) and then had a great afternoon of spending money on the kids and then my appt. Momma came over and made me roast beef dins, and did a few room things with me for DDs room.
Back I go to finish the wall decor, then it's doneeee and ready for her tomorrow.
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@Beebug: Can't wait to see the rooms when they are done! Also, I'm glad things seem like they may be turning around for you and you're feeling a little better!
Not sure if I mentioned earlier but I think I have a cold now too
Started a few days ago minor but last night was really bad, rough night sleeping. I hate taking stuff, but I'm also worried about letting it get too bad and turning into a sinus infection (which I'm prone to) and ending up on antibiotics. I went and talked to the pharmacist at walgreens tonight and decided on sudafed (which is on my approved meds list) but only at night so I can sleep. I figure fluids and vitamin C and rest during the day + sudafed at night to give my face a break from all the congestion and get some sleep--- hopefully it shortens the term of illness.
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@Mae: I have a cold now too. Was a scratchy throat but now my nose is all stuffy/runny. Yuck. The midwife recommended a neti pot and lots of water. You may also have this option since you WAH... I have been napping in the afternoon during DS's nap.
@Beebug: Hooray for measuring on track. I am also measuring right on this time too which is so weird since I was like 3 weeks behind last time. The difference between pregnancies is crazy. It must've been nice to get out all your frustrations. Hope you have a good talk wig your DH soon.
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@skipra: Sleep is illusive
I have always had a really hard time sleeping with a stuffed up nose because breathing through my mouth makes my throat and lips hurt and it wakes me up.
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@Mae: I would return it. Especially since she was aware you had one. Besides, if she came over, you could just pretend it was in your bedroom OR drape a blanket over the borrowed one so she couldn't see that it was a different color
Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well! Hope it passes quickly. I have nothing for you to add-we won't decide 100% on names until he/she arrives. @Beebug: Yay for a good appointment! I am so impressed by your stripes. I don't have the patience for that at all. So glad your family is coming back. It'll be nice to see them! Hopefully you and DH will get back on track. My DH has been having a particular issue that I cannot stand and it has definitely caused strife between us. I am also measuring right on track
I kind of think I've been gaining too much but all I can think about is junk food. Particularly chocolate cake. Which I don't have, but that doesn't stop me from eating other carbs. Oy. @skipra: Oh no! Feel better soon!
As for me, my tooth broke last night
Thankfully it doesn't hurt but I am trying to find a dentist. We don't have dental insurance yet so it'll be out of pocket which isn't fun. Plus I have major dentist anxiety and I will most likely have to have it pulled. The worst part? The midwives said no being put to sleep. AAAHHH! I had R all natural, but man, the thought of getting a tooth yanked while awake is enough to make me cry.
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@Mae: its even harder when you cant really sleep on your back with your head propped way up. Hope the sudafed helps. I'm almost ready to try out the neti pot. It was just way too cold and nasty to walk to the store today. Have you used one before?
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@skipra: I haven't. I know I should I just can't make myself do it. I have this weird phobia of things up my nose. My husband does the neti pot and I hate it, I feel like the water will go up his brain or hurt or something lol. I haven't ever used a nasal spray either (not that I could right now anyways)-- people always say they are the best but the idea of spraying something up my nose makes me want to cry lol. (ironically i've had my nose pierced twice. So huge metal needle? no prob. distilled water? nooooooo)
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@mrsog: Glad everything looked good on the ultrasound! I hope your body feels better now, too. So scary to fall at a time like this!
@Mae: I would return the RNP, simply because she already knew I had one. More so because she gave other gifts and is aware that those were well appreciated. $75 can go far in baby purchases and I'm sure it can be put to better use.
@Beebug: I'm sorry you and DH are up and down. Sometimes working through those difficult periods are totally worth it at the end - so I agree that you should stick it out if you can, and it is safe for you to do so. I hope you can resolve things soon!
@Mae: sorry you're feeling ill! I had the cold during Christmas and it was horrible, but plenty fluids and rest should hopefully do the trick. DH is down with the cold since yesterday too and I'm trying to keep arms length away from him!
@skipra: my TDAP shot hurt as well, but I can be (used to be?) such a wuss with needles! It pained and I almost fainted and needed to lie down.. and then for days after it was stiff. DH got it at the same time though and he was totally normal, so I guess it all depends on how you handle pain? But it def hurts more than other shots I've received.
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For anyone who wants to see my insanity with DDs room, here are some quick iPad pics, I'm a crazy Momma. Our kids rooms are 10 x 12 ft, so only so much we can do w/ furniture, it feels really busy in there right now (lol on the rug), but hopefully that will settle as the newness wears off.
Girl rooms = easy. Boy or gender neutral I will not enjoy as much as I did this one!
So glad it's doneeeee.
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My Grandma offered me one of 3 neti pots she has? I have heard people rave about them, but have never looked in to what they actually are!
My nose is runny, stuff comes out when I blow now, I finally believe this sickness is on it's way out. Now if only I could make this cold sore go away faster, argh. Mine usually last about 2 weeks, this one is the size of a quarter off the one side of my chin, it's gonna be a whole yet, so unattractive!
Shower and bedtime, 1/2day off in am, have some uppity mtg tomm afternoon I have to go in for, bleh! Getting to greet them at the airport will be fun, wonder what DDs reaction will be!
Baby on the inside moving lots tonight, maybe enjoyed helping with the room? Haha.
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@Beebug: can you come decorate our nursery? Looks fun and amazing! I'm sure your DD will be excited to see it! I'm gonna steal that play corner idea too for later
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@Beebug: sooo cute! Your DD is going to be so excited to see you and to see her new room! I hope you're really on the mend
I took a dose of sudafed last night and I don't really know how much it helped. I took it about 20 min before bed and I don't feel like it had even kicked in by my first pee break 2.5 hours later. When I woke up at like 4am though my nose was clear so that was nice I guess. But then it wore off before I woke up for the day anyways. Undecided about taking it again tonight. Definitely trying to minimize meds and if it isn't helping THAT much I don't know that it is worth it.
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@Mae: Hope you're feeling ok today. Bummer that the sudafed didn't really seem to work. I can't handle thought of neti pots/things being sprayed up my nose, either! If I were you, I would definitely return the rock n play, unless you think it'd be nice to have one on more than one floor? Although one of the advantages of the rock n play is that it's small and mobile!
@Beebug: Both kids' rooms are looking great! I'm glad your DH and DD are coming back. Hopefully you and DH can spend some time talking and working some things out. I hope you're feeling better today too!
My mom and sister flew up from Texas for their spring breaks this week, so we spent the last two days getting stuff done around the house, shopping, etc. It killed me having to go back to work today, though! Tonight my DH and I are heading up to Chicago and tomorrow I have my family shower. So excited to see all my aunts and cousins! I remember when they first started planning the shower and discussing the date that it seemed SO far away. Hard to believe I'm 31 weeks and it's halfway through March already!
Anyone else starting to get swelling? My feet are getting elephantine by the end of each day. It's gross but weirdly fascinating too, haha. I'm just bummed that it's happening so soon because I can't jam my feet into very many of my shoes, even in the morning before they get really swollen! I told my doctor last week about it and she didn't seem concerned since my blood pressure is still really good and no protein in my urine. But the swelling has gotten a lot more extreme since my last appointment, so I'm going to ask her about it at next week's appointment too. I'm sure everything's fine and it's just the normal pressure of having all this baby weighing down my body, though. I did order some compression socks, though. Those things are expensive!
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@Mae: Do you have family nearby that will be watching the baby often? If it were me, I'd give one of the R&Ps to my mom or MIL for them to use when the LO comes over.
Otherwise I totally sympathize, baby stuff quickly takes over your house and it becomes really frustrating to have so much junk around. Maybe give away the used one to goodwill or sell it on Craigslist.
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@twodoghouse: aw, yay for family time and shower!! And I agree, it seems like time is just flying away now. My mom is coming down weekend after next to help me get everything washed/organized/hung in the nursery and like… at that point I'll be 34 weeks. That just seems…. so pregnant. lol.
And I'm sorry you're dealing with swelling! I haven't had any swelling at this point, but I also work at home with my feet up all day every day. So I'm probably less prone to it than someone who is up and running around all day! I do think it is really common though. At my 32 week appt this week the midwife pulled up my pant legs and was like "oh look! You still have ankles! That's great!" as though it was a surprise lol. So I do think the swelling is probably more common than not.
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@whodat: We don't have any family who will watch the baby the first year. We don't actually have any family at all in our town, and none of our parents live close enough that I anticipate many visits to them. The used one is a friend's so whenever I'm done with it (whether that be now if I decide to keep the new RNP or later when my LO outgrows it), it will go back to her.
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@Mae: Oh no, I'm sorry that you are sick now
Being sick while pregnant is the WORST. I hope that you get better quickly! And oh my god, I am terrified of the neti pot hahaha...I'm with you on that one! I know it's supposed to help a lot, but I just can't bring myself to use one.@cheesetomywhine: wow, that does not sound fun at all! I guess they can't wait until after you have the baby to fix it? So that you don't have to stay awake for the procedure!
@skipra: My arm definitely hurt for a few days after the shot, moreso than any other shot I've had I think.
@Beebug: yay for a good appointment and measuring right on target! And wow, your DD's room looks AMAZING! I'm actually having trouble with DD"s room, because I want to make it super girly, but DH is not on board...he says "DD likes big bird and cars and busses, not flowers and birds". grrrr...I think that I've kind of reached a happy medium...not too pink and flowery (which would be my preference hahaha) but still feminine. Now I just have to get it finished! I'm sure that it will not be nearly as well done as yours though.
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@twodoghouse: My swelling started a few months ago
DH looked at my feet and said "hey, where did your ankles go?" lovely!
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@Glitter: lol sure, I will be right over
@Mae: Her reaction was insane, it was sooo cute. Wanted to read all her books, and play with the magnet letters. Needed help on the chair, and loved sitting on it.
@twodoghouse: Decided today I really don't like the new baby's room right now. I am struggling. I don't love the stripes, the third stripe specifically so I am trying to brainstorm how to fix it. Ugh. Glad DDs is done, and I/we love it, so it's not a thought now!
No swelling yet over here, and didn't have any time #1. Well okay.....swelling in lady bits when on feet too much (tmi, woo!) but nothing anyone would ever see, lol.
@cookie_dough: I was very anti-girlie for when we did her nursery except for her bedding, but now....whatevs, lol. She loves her hockey and helping with the screwdrivers and such, so long as she's balanced
The carpet in her room throws the girlie part over the top a bit.They are home!! I was late getting them as there was some traffic, but DD was freaking so excited to see me, it was cute.
Yah, DHs reaction to #2's room sealed my uncertainty about the 3rd stripe, I wish I didn't do it, so I am debating splitting it in half and doing top and bottom colour over half of it, or finding a different colour all together. I know I know gender, but it realllllly looks boyish. All the grey looks blue now, and regardless of boy or girl, I don't want that.....so I am struggling. I don't love the furniture colour, I don't know why but I feel like white furniture is so much easier, the dark stuff I am struggling on. So we will see. Time to get creative.
I have been up since 2am or so, my sleep plan backfired for last night, argh. Baby moving like a crazy person, like trying to poke limbs out!
DH went to drugstore and got me otrivin and I am going to take it later to try to get some relief from face pressure.
Is anyone going on a baby moon?
I am getting our bucket seat back today, I loaned it out in Sept for someone who said they needed it 2-3m, and I finally got bitchy and asked for it back a second time (first time was in Feb) yesterday. I don't know, I don't mind loaning stuff, but now it's been used by her longer than I used it with DD, and she more than doubled her original ask, and I know I wouldn't have it back if I didn't insist. I have a feeling it's going to be filthy too. Lesson learned. My beco carrier is loaned out right now too.....
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@Beebug: re Babymoon, we're going to the beach the week after Easter as a family, so it's not romantic but it will be our last trip as a family of 4. I'm excited even though I'll be 37 weeks. Then, I have to go on a work trip to Chicago immediately afterwards, and that will be my nice little time alone to sleep in a hotel and such. Even more excited about that!
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@Beebug: aw, thats a bummer that you aren't loving the room. Personally I like the stripes! Although I'm biased bc our nursery is striped hah. I also don't feel like its too masculine… I feel like it matters how you finish things. We have grey/white stripes and lots of aqua and I feel like it's still totally girly due to accents of pink and crystal and gold. Maybe if you got some more gender neutral wall prints or something?
Also, no baby moon for us! I'm sort of over traveling at the moment.
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@Beebug: So glad your DD loved her room! I bet it was so nice to see her and have an awesome surprise when she got home! Maybe you can just sit on the stripe situation for a couple days and it will grow on you? I can't imagine how hard you worked and having to just turn around and paint over the 3rd stripe sounds miserable. I hope you can get some sleep and rest up this weekend!
No babymoon for us. We are trying to save money since I'm planning on SAH once the kiddos get here. A vacation sounds lovely though. I wouldn't even need to GO anywhere. I just want to be able to lay on my couch for a week straight, haha.
@whodat: The beach and relaxing by yourself in a hotel sound great!
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@Mae: I guess I am struggling with what gender neutral is right now. I don't love green's and yellows. I don't like blue if we were to be out with a boy, lol. Gray looks blue, so I think I am just stuck on what to do?
@whodat: awesome on babymoon!! The Chicago trip sounds great too!! We have nothing planned, but I have the itch to do something.
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@twodoghouse: Yes, going to sit on it for sure. I just know my gut is off on it for a reason, grrr on third stripe!
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@Beebug: I really really like the stripes, but I totally understand getting frustrated when things don't look exactly how you want them to. I think that all these pictures on pinterest (and i'm not even on pinterest, but i've still seen plenty of pics) have us (well, me anyways) wanting these perfect looking rooms. I really have to try and restrain myself and realize that the kids are going to be fine with their rooms whether they are perfect or not, and that realistically, not many people other than our immediate family will ever see their rooms. I keep telling myself this...I'm trying hard not to worry about it looking perfect...not that's it's really working, but i'm tryingggg
But try not to stress out too much about the perfect colour. I seriously think it looks amazing..and I'm sure the colour isn't exactly the same in your pics as in person, but I don't find it looks blue at all.As for a babymoon, we are having a very very mini babymoon tomorrow night!!! I can't remember if I posted about this already, but DH got us a night at a nice hotel with a super fancy dinner and buffet breakfast for my birthday. So it's not like we are going anywhere far, but it will be one night of relaxing and not having to wake up early!
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@cookie_dough: Nice!!! I wish your city was closer, just halfway closer, would make a one-night or weekend trip so much more tempting as I would love to go there over like Niagara Falls or Collingwood or something. Bigtime agree on the "pinterest pressure". Haha. I am trying to not feel that, and I don't think I do. Surely the idea came from there, but if I'm not able to pull it together with my complicated stripes and other decor, I would rather go backwards and simplify, you know? We'll see. Will chew on it a few days. Funny with no stripes the grey had a purple hue when you walked in, and now it's blue'ish. Argh!!
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@Beebug: I know, it is a pretty far trek to make! My sister lives in your neck of the woods, and I'm sure we will be visiting her over the summer. I am dying to take DD to the zoo! Not dying for a roadtrip with a toddler and baby, but we will make it work hahaha
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@cookie_dough: If you ever have a zoo day, let us know, even to meet up for a few would be cool! We have a membership!
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@Beebug: Nice!!! I will definitely let you know...won't be for quite a few months yet, but I am already getting so excited about taking DD to see all the animals. I want to check out the aquarium too!
we just see them at family gatherings! Not that it would really help your frugal side, but you could always donate your original RNP to someone in need, or try re-selling it? Although if you're anything like me, I would feel weird about selling a hand-me-down...I would just donate! Or try swapping it on craigslist or facebook for something you need? (ok, i have no clue if people do that kind of thing, I don't even have a facebook account...but just an idea hahaha)
Started a few days ago minor but last night was really bad, rough night sleeping. I hate taking stuff, but I'm also worried about letting it get too bad and turning into a sinus infection (which I'm prone to) and ending up on antibiotics. I went and talked to the pharmacist at walgreens tonight and decided on sudafed (which is on my approved meds list) but only at night so I can sleep. I figure fluids and vitamin C and rest during the day + sudafed at night to give my face a break from all the congestion and get some sleep--- hopefully it shortens the term of illness.
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