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@Mrs D: Can you share some of your cooking/baking motivation!? YUM.
Girls, I'm in a pregnancy hormone funk today. Feeling out of it and the reality of how close and fast this is all happening is freaking me out a bit. Just read the post about how the first year is the hardest and your relationship really struggles and it's got me totally freaked out. I don't want to lose touch with my husband.
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@.twist.: I have been having the same fears lately...I feel like I am getting an abundance of "you have no idea how hard it is" or "it was the hardest thing my husband and I ever went through" feedback which is freaking me out.
For me, planning is what makes me feel better. I am planning to have a special night planned for us for DH's birthday (Oct 19th) - dinner and a movie or sporting event. I was also thinking about trying to plan a night away between Christmas and NYE without the little one. We have lots of family around (3 sets of grandparents) so I hope we'll find random time here and there for 2-3 hours away but I was thinking it may be good to have something special planned every 6 weeks or so for a night alone!
I also need to have a "come to jesus" chat with DH about some little stuff I need him to improve on before the baby comes to alleviate some tension. 1) I'll ask him to do something and it takes me reminding him 3 or 4 times to get it done. 2) he constantly trashes the dinning room with his clothes and misc crap. I keep my frustration over these two things bottled up well now - but I know when I am uber stressed over LO I'll be way more likely to crack!
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@Mrs D: It's a relief to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I think it's a great idea to make those types of plans and I think I will actually try to plan a few date nights in the near future and think about some time to ourselves once the baby is here. I know we want to *TRY* going to our usual vacation spot after the baby is born for a week or two and hopefully that will help too, even though we still have the baby, we'll still be "away" from home. I really want that to work out.
I totally think having a talk with him about that stuff is warranted. I am planning to tell DH about these fears and kind of bring up what I think we both have to work on up until but definitely after the baby comes. I think if we get it all out on the table pre-baby then once baby is here it will be a lot easier to manage and not get stressed out.
Ugh. definitely don't like feeling this way!
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@.twist.: I was totally funk-tastic last week. I didn't have any reason for it. Mainly just tired. I think talking to your hubby is a good idea. You might find that he's worried about that too, and that you'll feel better because you aren't carrying the whole burden alone.
@Mrs D: I made those muffins yesterday. Soooo good. And didn't bring one for lunch. Nerts!!!
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@.twist.: I'm sorry you're in a funk. We all have those days. We've gotten a lot of the "you don't know what you're in for" speeches, but I try not to let it get to me. These are often the same people who will post on FB that being a parent is the most amazing thing and how they can't imagine their lives with out LO. I'm sure parenting will have it's fair share of challenges, but I believe you learn to adapt. It's like going from just dating DH to moving in together. We had our share of stressors and arguments, but eventually we learned to pick our battles, communicate, and got into a routine. I agree with@Mrs D that it's important to make time for date nights once the baby comes. I'm hoping that good communication and making time for each other will help make the transition easier.
In other news, I passed my glucose test! Yay! When do you all start going to your appointments every two weeks? My next one is in one month at 30 weeks and then I'll go every two weeks until 36 and then weekly until baby time! Yikes!
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@Grace: ya, I loved them! They were a nice change to the same old same old banana muffin recipe that is my staple for past their prime bananas!
@skipper2010: Congrats on passing the test!!! I go 24, 28, 32 weeks then 34, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 as needed!
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@Mrs D: You need to mail us some of your baked goodies!! Lol And Peanut butter banana muffins – droooool. Love that combo!! Add some chocolate on top and I’m done for.
@StrawberryBee: Those 3d pictures are hilarious and oh so adorable! And beautiful nursery!! Hubby moved out a couple boxes last night, but the room is filling up with baby stuff faster than he’s clearing it out… LOL!
@.twist.: All the posts today related to “losing touch with the hubby” doesn’t help either, but the hubby has been fantastic during my pregnancy and I really think this baby has brought us closer than ever. Once baby boy is here, I know it’ll be a struggle (hello - no sleep, cries that are hard to decipher, etc.), but I feel like he’ll be in it with me so I’m being optimistic. How’s the hubby doing during your pregnancy? Talking to him up front sounds like a great plan!
@skipper2010: Congrats on passing the GD test!! Yay!! My test is next Thursday – keeping my fingers crossed. I start going bi-weekly after my GD test next week!
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@StrawberryBee: Beautiful! I am hard at work on mine too! Hubby just put up the crib and changing table. I LOVE the pomanders!!! And the Dumbledoore quote.
@.twist.: Every now and then I really feel that way too. Hormone Funks are no fun. Just keep being honest, say 'I love you' often and lots and lots of snuggling. I am also finding talking to DH about this particular fear is really good because he's able to reassure me. We then talk about the future, like planning a 'second honeymoon' to Italy once the LO is old enough to stay with grandparents for at least a week. We sneak each other surprises too. Communication is key. It will be hard, but ultimately, this is one of the greatest if not THE greatest expressions of your love. Thinking of that often helps me a lot.
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@.twist.: Maybe it's naive of me, but I'm really not worried about stress on our relationship. On the one hand I figure he's been through all of this before and must have some idea of what to expect (more so than me!). And maybe I should be concerned because his last marriage did fall apart after kids, but I think just knowing that it's a potential pitfall will hopefully spark us to be open in our communication so that it doesn't reach critical mass. I know that his ex and he have very different parenting styles (she's very hands off) which caused friction and resentment.
In the end there's nothing I can do about it now except worry, so I choose not to borrow trouble from tomorrow :).
@skipper2010: Congrats on passing your glucose test! After 28 weeks I start going in every two, then it changes to every one.
@Alivoo01: @greenebee: thanks!
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@Grace: I'm definitely going to bring it up with him. It JUST hit me today while at work so I haven't really had time to process it and know that I'm being hormonal! hahaha
@skipper2010: YAY for passing your glucose! and woah to more appointments; makes it that much more real! I definitely agree that date nights are a priority once LO gets here. I'm hoping this funk will only last the day and I'll feel back to my normal excited self tomorrow.
@Alivoo01: No, they haven't helped at all! They've brought most of these feelings on. haha I suppose I should work more and HB less!? My husband has been SO good throughout my pregnancy. I think a lot of my fears stem from 1. I used to have major issues getting sick after DTD, and before I got pregnant I was just "cured" of that sickness. So I worry for our newly renewed sex life going down the drain. Again. 2. Our routine has recently been thrown off because of his crazy ex and we now have his children far more often than we ever used to. I don't mind, although it's totally been overwhelming for me (and him and we've talked about it) and I feel like it's one of the weaker spots in our relationship.
So I'm really worried that now this baby will just throw another wrench in the mix and I'm kind of worrying myself over it. Obviously it's something I need to bring up with him.
@greenebee: Thanks for the pep talk. I totally agree that in the bigger picture this is one of, if not THE, greatest expressions of our love. I know we'll make it work, today has just been a rough day. haha
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@StrawberryBee: I totally agree! I haven't been worried really up until this point because DH has been through this before as well. His relationship didn't work out for many other reasons than kids, but I feel like he's got an idea of what's to come (even though I don't) and he'll be able to help me. Part of my worry is working it all in with his kids as well. Since we've recently been getting them a lot more often, I already feel like him and I have barely any time for just the two of us and today especially I've been having "what have I done" moments.
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@.twist.: It's definitely rough being thrown into the parental role cold turkey. I figure it will be different with our own though, because:
a) we'll make the rules together. Right now I have to follow rules that were set by DH and his ex (more so his ex now); rules that his kids grew up with and I didn't feel right changing/interfering with.
b) we'll have her permanently. There's no "I can act out now because I'm going home to mom's in a half hour and there's nothing you can do about it." Don't get me wrong, there'll be acting out for other reasons, but now at least I'll be able to do something about it instead of feeling like the kids are running the show!
c) we'll ease into childcare gradually. I started dating DH when his kids were 7 and 10. I missed out on the newborn stage, on the baby stage, toddler, etc. I missed out on being a part of shaping those early years. We'll get to know our kids as they get to know themselves.
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@StrawberryBee: thank you thank you thank you. I agree with everything you wrote, I think I just needed to be reminded. I missed all those stages too, so I fully understand what you're saying!
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@.twist.: I figured you would :D. Remember too, it won't be as overwhelming as being thrown together with a 7 and 10 (or whatever) year old: for a while at least, we'll get to run the show!
Secretly, I'm always a little relieved when the kids go home. I love them so much, but it's always so much more tense when they're around...like we're walking on eggshells trying not to rock the boat (especially with a sometimes surly 14 year old). Sometimes they fight and I just want to knock their heads together, but I hold back because I don't want to be 'that step mom' and we have them so infrequently, it sucks to have a miserable time when they are here.
I worry sometimes that I'll be a pushover with my own kid like I am with them (I have a need to please and be liked by them; nobody wants to be hated, right?).
I worry about family vacations, since they can be brats at times and while I don't ever want to exclude them from anything, we had such a miserable experience our last trip that it's not something I ever wish to repeat. It's actually something DH and I have discussed.
Then I remind myself that in four more years my DSD will be in college, and maybe she won't even want to do things like that with us any more. At the very least, they'll be older and hopefully more mature.
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All this tall about strain on relationships has got me worried now too. This summer is going to be really rough for us until baby gets here. Money is really tight since I quit my job to start a business, and DH works A LOT to pick up the slack. He works a full time 40 hour a week job then does tons of side work to make extra money. He's already picked up so much side work for this summer that I feel like I'll never see him. Add in that I got a part time job that will most likely involve working Saturday and Sunday until August and that's even less time we'll have together. We're just trying to get as much work in until baby's here so we can hopefully pay some stuff off and he doesn't have to work that much after the baby is born. But I feel like since this is our last months as just the two of us, we really need to try to find some time together. This is the main thing we argue about, him working too much and me being lonely. I know why he does it, but that doesn't make it any easier when I don't see him till 9 pm on a weeknight. I'm just really worried that whatever he says about working less after the baby's born will not really happen. His dad is a major workaholic and drilled it into his head that he should be working all the time...I just don't want to feel like a single mom all the time. Ugh...add in the fact that my family and friends all live hours away and his family lives really really close (like on the same dirt road) and there's more tension. I need more time to straighten all this out!!
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So - I may have just bought three freezer meals cookbooks! I have such shopping and cookbook issues! I'll let you ladies know if I find some good ones!
Also just made of list of my two next DIY projects for baby girls room:
http://img3.etsystatic.com/002/1/5190084/il_570xN.354369923_8pod.jpg Only I am going to do this on a pillow for the rocking chair. I think its so cute - and I found buttons for $6 on etsy, already have a pillow insert so I just need a white pillow cover!
http://blog.thebump.com/2012/05/03/diy-nursery-wall-art-idea/#slideshow=1 seriously how cute is this for above the crib?! I'm thinking I paint the rings either white (to match the trip) or stained brown (to match the furniture). I love this idea!
Also - DH and I could not agree on names (I love Grace he loved Allison) but last night we may have found a name we both like: Kathrine Lynn D - we'd shorten it to Kate. I think its cute and traditional - also I love that I can use my middle name with it (which I share with my sisters and mom).
Last comment, totally tmi, but this discharge is total BS - I am NOT a fan of it!
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@Mrs D: love the projects and can't wait to see how they turn out! I just ordered the fabric for a few projects in our nursery and can't wait to get started.
I've got a TMI for you too. I have another bad cold and every time I sneeze or cough, I pee my pants a little. So seriously annoying! Between that and the discharge, I think I'm going to have to start wearing diapers...
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@Mrs D: love the name too! I think we've narrowed it down to Sawyer or Logan for a first name and James for a middle name (which is my dad's name and both of our brothers' middle names).
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@JamieLee: Oh I love both those names! And ya, I've been having minor accidents when I sneeze or cough for a few weeks now - its just awesome. DH knows now when I run out of the room it probably means I peed my pants a little! sweet...
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@Mrs D: Cute projects!! Can't wait to see how they turn out. As for the name - so pretty!!!
As for the discharge - omg. Super annoying!! Like I'll go pee and not even a minute later I feel "wet". Ugh! Why does that always happen?!
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Seriously...I am considering wearing panty liners...its gross...
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@Mrs D: Super cute ideas! I love Grace too, but Kate is super cute.
@JamieLee: Good names! I think my DH kiboshed both of them for me.
Ahh, girls you have good timing on the tmi stuff. This morning, for the first time this pregnancy, I puked! Out of the blue. Don't know where that came from. An guess what? When ya puke, you've got less control over your bladder than from a sneeze. Oh yeah. Had a great mess to clean up this morning.
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@StrawberryBee: I hear you on the kids going home. I love them to pieces also, but you're right. It's not the same. I always feel "on" when they're around. Never fully relaxed. Also, we haven't had to deal with any family vacations, although I'm sure my husband would love to take them, their mother would NEVER allow it. Anything to do with me and it's absolutely no no no. That might change when they're older and can decide for themselves, but as for young vacations, it's just been the two of us. Which has been nice.
@JamieLee: I'm sorry! haha I feel like my stupid hormones really are taking their toll on me this week! haha I feel responsible for putting those thoughts out there in our thread! I seriously hope you can find some date time for you and DH before the baby comes. It's a stressful time to prepare and then more stressful times once the baby is here just to get into a routine. I feel like there is no winning and we just have to do our best to be conscious of making little efforts to keep it real between us and our spouses. It WILL all work out! Also! I totally had a TMI the other day that I've been even too scared to share and it totally has to do with gross wetness and panties and ew. hahaha
@Mrs D: Ah! You're so crafty! I love it! I also love the name, it's beautiful! Aaaaaand I have totally been wearing those super thin, thong panty liners for a loooong time now.
@JamieLee: Logan is out of our older boys names, I think it's a good one for sure!
I really like Sawyer too and it was in my boy list of names, however, DH veto'd that one. @Alivoo01: seriously so gross, it happens to me too.
@Grace: oh noooo! That sounds awful! Seriously, who made up all this pregnancy crap? I need to talk to the man who decided this was all for a good chuckle!! haha.
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@Grace: when I had the stomach flu, I totally peed myself while puking. Like, a lot...ugh.
My husband vetoed most of the names I liked. These were the only two he agreed with out of many. I really wanted Grayson, but that was a no from him. He wanted James as a first name, and then to call the baby Jim...that's what my dad goes by and I just can't see a little boy named Jim...it's a total man's name! DH would probably be happy with something like Fred or George...lol.
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@.twist.: I am worried about this as well. And like @Mrs. D, I have already made some plans away from the baby. DH's birthday is September 24th and mine is Oct. 6th adn I fully plan on us going out on dates those nights. Also, my friend is getting married in March in Houston so we will fly there together without the baby for the weekend. I think that's good timing, little guy will be almost 7 months old at that point.
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@Mrs D: I LOVE the name Kate. I really wanted to name our little girl Kate, but my stepdaughter's middle name is Kathryn, so DH thought it was too close. Great choice!
@JamieLee: We were going to use James as a middle name if we had a boy. So classic and pretty!
@Modern Daisy: If you decide to bring your little boy with you to Houston, I know someone (me!) that can watch him
108 days 'til my due date, so I assume some of you ladies are already in the double digits?? Crazy!! Our car seat arrived last night--it is so cute and pink! Our baby girl is going to be camouflage....pink clothes in a pink car seat!
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@Modern Daisy: Good for you! My IL's live RIGHT around the corner from us and I fully plan on using them every once in a while for date nights and stuff. I have made a pact with myself. LOL.
@lawbee11: One of my friends parents met after their kids were born and his daughters name was Katherine & her daughters name was Caitlin. hahaha They get confused all the time.
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@lawbee11: Haha aww, thanks!! Wouldn't that be cute - our babies would be the same age!
My parents live in Philly so our plan for potential weekend get-aways is to drive down there and leave the little bear cub with them then fly out of the Philly airport. Of course I would prefer that they come stay in our apartment, but my parents are total homebodies and refuse to leave their house.
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@.twist.: Making a pact is the key here. The idea of being away from my little guy scares me to pieces right now, but I feel like it will be good for everyone if we let go and force some couple alone-time.
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We actually have plans for Sept 14th (when LO is only 2 weeks old or so) which will be our first time away from her. Nothing big, just dinner for my Grandma's 80th at a fancy place downtown - but it will be nice to be away. My dad or IL's will watch LO.
I think our first night away from her wont be until Christmas time (like I mentioned) just for a night so we can "reconnect". My mom is great about watching grandbabies over night. My dad is pretty much terrified of newborns but usually is comforted when his girlfriend can be there to assist. My IL's have never lived near there other Grandbabies so I am really not sure how they'll be - I'm sure they'll do random watching here and there. We have an issue with their dog though - so it will be dependent on them either coming to our house or following through with their plans to have her behavior corrected before the baby comes!
Our first flight with LO will be late Feb/early Mar when I'll go to Florida for a week (DH will join for half of it) - it'll be scary to fly with her alone, but at 6 mos she should be ok for the short 2.5 hour flight! Crazy for me to think I wont fly between now and then!
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@Modern Daisy: Yes, I am totally terrified of the idea of leaving him alone so early too, but I honestly agree that it will be healthy and beneficial for everyone's health if we get over that hurdle earlier rather than later.
@Mrs D: I am currently trying to plan our first flight for mid to late september (around 6 - 8 weeks old). I don't want us to miss out on our ONE yearly holiday and I would rather fly there than drive the 8 hours with a newborn! I'm honestly not sure which is worse, flying, or 8 hours in a car (which would ultimately be longer since we'd most likely have to stop more often).
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What do y'all think of Maddox Carter (last name)? Hubby really, really likes Maddox. He's been coming up with all the baby names. Ha!
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@.twist.: I had a friend that traveled with her newborn at 8 weeks - she said it was a breeze bc the baby slept the whole time. She did say she was very worried about the pressure in LO's ears but I guess it didn't end up being a big deal bc I never heard anything else? I would totally fly rather than drive...where are you going?
@Alivoo01: I like Maddox and I love Carter!
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@JamieLee: What about calling him James amd using Jamie as a nickname? Little Jamie Grayson?
@lawbee11: Close to double digits?!?? How'd that happen? Luckily, I still have 114.
@Alivoo01: I like it! Are you on the fence?
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@lawbee11: phew I still have 121...I was sooooo not ready for double digits!!!
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@lawbee11: oh god! I have 99 days to go! WTH!
@Alivoo01: I like it! I've never heard of Maddox before, but I really like it, and it flows nicely with Carter.
@Mrs D: Grand Forks, BC. My parents own an acreage out there and we go every year. It's so cheap. Just gas and food and we need to make sure it's clean before we leave.
It's probably one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. I love it there.
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I'm happy I'm not the only one planning on leaving LO with grandma for an overnight or two. I know it will be hard, but I think it will be worth it. I have friends who don't even go on date nights because they don't want to leave their kids, and they're the ones who seem to be having the most trouble with their relationships. I'm hoping to find a nice balance.
@Mrs D: You're too funny with your freezer meals! I'm going to be so jealous of you once the baby comes and I'm trying to scrounge things up for quick dinners as you reach into your freezer and pull out your delicious pre-made meals. I was thinking of making some myself, but my freezer just isn't big enough to hold more than a few meals plus the stuff we have in it right now, so for me it's just not worth it. So many props to you though!
@Alivoo01: I think Maddox is really cute!
@lawbee11: I didn't realize I was in the double digits until you just said something! 93 days here...wow...!!!
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@Mrs D: We are so on the same decorating wavelength lol! LOVE the embroidery hoops, and I have a picture pinned of an "E" made of pink buttons (except I think that one was framed). supercute!
Oh, and I love Kathrine Lynn! I'm not used to seeing Kathrine spelled that way.
PS: I don't know how you girls live without panty liners? TMI moment: I've been wearing panty liners continuously since I was a teen (my sister and I actually talked about this once). Now that I'm pregnant I have to change it when I get home from work!
@JamieLee: I adore the name James. It's a family name on both our sides but has been used in more frequent history on my DH's side of the family, so it's out for us. (Fred or George :D)
@.twist.: Wow on your DH's ex. If you don't mind my asking, how can she forbid him from taking them on vacations? Is that legal? Or would just cause too much strife? My DH's ex won't tell us when she takes the kids out of the state on vacation (we find out from the kids that they're going to FL or wherever), but we always tell her what we're thinking of and usually she's 'okay' with it. Okay in that she can't think of a way to say no :P. She actually tried to get him to pay half for their passports "just in case, you know, nothing planned." Uhm...no. I'm sure you have something planned because nobody on a whim decides to buy passports, and we're not funding your vacation. If we take them out of the country in the next five years we'll pay you half then *rolls eyes*.
My family is planning a family reunion at the beach in June/July 2014, and I am beyond excited about it. Baby's first beach vacation! We're bringing the stepkids and it will be a good test to see how everyone is with each other. It'll be a long drive (Philly to SC), but cheaper than airfare for everyone.
@Alivoo01: I love Maddox Carter :D.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this here or not, but our name is Ella Margaret ^_^.
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@skipper2010: I think it can be really detrimental to a relationship to never have away time from the kids.
@StrawberryBee: haha I wonder the same thing about the panty liners. They've been a regular staple in my daily routine since I can really remember.....
As for the ex. She's totally allowed to tell us that we're not allowed to take them anywhere. She has full custody (even though we have them the majority of the time right now) and she would probably call the cops and tell them we kidnapped her kids. Technically, we're only allowed to have the boys every other weekend for 4 hours (2hrs sat, 2hrs sun). . If there was ever an ex from hell, she's it. I've PM'd you more details.
Ps. LOVE that name. Ellie was one of our top girl names. love love love.
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Another issue that I may or may not start a thread about.. I know this sounds super greedy but are any of you worried about getting the 'big ticket' items from your registry? Our showers are both in June so it's still really early, but 11 items have already been purchased - none of which are over $30. And these are all from people who are very well off, or who are close enough to us that I would think they would have sprung for one of the 'bigger' items.
I am really tempted to take all the small items off then add them back on as the bigger items get purchased. Am I insane? I mean, yes we are prepared to buy the things we registered for if needed, but to me one of the main purposes of having a shower is to take the financial burden off new parents. We could easily buy all those small items as needed after the baby is born - what we need now is to stock up on the bigger essentials!
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