Hellobee Boards

@.Twist.: Your nursery looks so great, I love the color! I have to agree with the others too, I wouldn't use the crib. That's sad that they didn't tell you about that.

@Sapphiresun:
I worry about this too, my husband is a train engineer and is usually gone for 2.5-3 days at a time. He's also in the National Guard and they have him "away" at training the week of my due date (away this time is only 45 minutes away, luckily), I have a Red Cross phone number to call if there's an emergency, and I have his supervisors # at UP too. Still scary, especially since his ex wants us to have the girls that week!! My labors are somewhat fast, and this being my third I'm not sure what to expect!

@Jamielee:
I have super sensitive skin and really bad eczema too, what I've read is eczema skips a generation though. That has held true with my son (11) and daughter (22 months) so far, fingers crossed. I bought California Baby and couldn't use it with my hands, so I switched to Yes to Baby Carrots and it worked great

@Redsmarties: I hope everything is ok, take it easy! Has it been hot where you are? I had horrible swelling with my last pregnancy, I did nightly soaks with epsom salt, and propped them up on so many pillows with ice packs! I'm sure come the end of July I'll be in the same boat again.

@lawbee11: I saw your pictures on FB this morning, and it looks so great! You guys did an awesome job!

AFM ~

I'm not sure what's going on, contractions have been so strong and frequent lately, it's almost to the point where I'm not comfortable driving. I had an appt last week and the Dr. told me there has been quite a bit of change but he's not telling me what. Um. ok... this is way way way TMI too, but my husband told me he can tell too, wtf? I have an appt on Wed. and I hope he tells me what's going on, I'm sick of contractions, and the baby kicks, rolls, jabs HOLY SMOKES!!! The movements now feel like they did after my water was broken during labor, ouch.

I tried to talk to my husband about our closet situation and he's not budging. He says the girls need clothes while they are here, and he's not going to let me move their clothes out. I ask him where we were suppose to put the babies clothes, in a laundry basket? That's where they're now. So sad. Maybe I should make a trip to Ikea for some extra storage.

We still need to buy a convertible seat for M, and possibly a second infant carrier, a pack n play since the crib won't fit in our room, bottles, going home outfit, and everything for my hospital bag. Basically everything!

@MrsB2012: yep we're in a Vancouver suburb I sent them a list of vetted hotels within a few blocks of our house that other visitors have had good experiences with AND we offered to pay for it (even though $2000 worth of hotels wasn't really in the planned budget at this point) but for some reason they're hell bent on staying at our apartment, and anything "less" than that is obviously my attempts at making sure they don't get to spend adequate time with baby.

@Sapphiresun: Oh. My. Lord. I can't believe how unreasonable and rude and high maintenance they're being. I agree with @Modern Daisy to stand your ground (What does your DH think?). Since when is your maternity time supposed to cater to their vacation whims?

@StbHisMrs: "Dr. told me there has been quite a bit of change but he's not telling me what." Uhm, so it's a secret? ^^;; Hope you get some resolution soon!

Sorry to hear about your DH not budging on the girls' clothes :(. Is there room to put a freestanding unit in? If so, Ikea's not a bad idea.

@StbHisMrs: I've never heard of that brand, but I'll keep it in mind if the California Baby doesn't work for us. Also, hoping the skipping a generation thing is true! I also have a ton of stuff still to buy, and a trip to Ikea is on my agenda this weekend. Hope you can figure out some storage solution for that baby's clothes!

@Sapphiresun: OMG! Your ILs sound like a disaster! I would make DH be the bad guy and tell them that they can't stay before or after the baby comes. They sound completely unreasonable.

My aunt and uncle and cousin usually come visit in August with my dad but he convinced them to come in October because I can't be entertaining while I have a brand new baby. My dad and his girlfriend are coming to stay at our house from August 16-23 (baby is due the 18th) but my dad is super helpful so it will be fine. He already told me to make a list of things for him to do while he's here. For example, he installed the ceiling fan in the nursery while he was here this weekend, and in the past, he's cut and stacked firewood, stained our deck, and done other big projects. Luckily my ILs live close, so they would have no reason to stay at our house ever. But I do need DH to have a talk with them about boundaries, as they have a habit of coming over regularly without calling. Not going to work while I'm sitting I the living room nursing.

DH and I have our first baby class tonight...I am trying to prep DH for how bad the videos can be. Its 3 hours once a week for the next four weeks - it'll be interesting to see how they split up the information. I have the breast feeding class this Saturday morning - then our baby basics class isn't until early August!

My only other big to-do is to meet the pediatrician we are going with. Did you ladies do this? I honestly dont know what I'll ask him or why a "meeting" is necessary. Maybe I'll skip it? Thoughts?

@Sapphiresun: oh wow your situation sounds just horrible. Stand your ground. I would not let people stay with me in your situation. Ugh your ILs sound like a real piece of work! I actually LOL when I read they wanted baby for a week over Christmas. like, come on! What is wrong with these people? It sounds like a bad movie and I'm sorry you're dealing with it.

@Mrs Hedgehog: I'm actually most worried about the one hour after birth. I feel very strongly about having skin to skin contact for the first hour. I hear its best for BF and bonding and as long as baby can be placed on me right away, there's no budging. I'm scared our families are going to want to hole and cuddle babe during that time and I feel kinda rude saying no.

@Mrs D: have fun at your classes! We are 4/6 through our weekly classes. The videos are bad. Very, very bad. However, our group is fun and there are a lot of laughs too. I don't have a paediatrician, I just go back to my family doctor after birth. However, I actually think its good for you to meet him. Even if you don't have Q's, he will be looking after your babe and it might be nice to introduce yourself and get a general idea what he's like. What if you don't like him or are uncomfortable with him? Better to find out now!

@Sapphiresun: What about you visiting them? That way you can take control of the situation. Say that you aren't having any overnight visitors in the first month (or whatever timeframe you decide), and then you initiate future visits once you feel ready. That way you're making the effort but can keep things from spiraling out of control or having them think that they can take your LO/come visit whenever they please (first Christmas? really??)

@Mrs D: I've also been putting off contacting the pediatrician we selected on the hospital paperwork. Like you, I'm not sure that a meeting is really necessary. If we go for the first appointment and I don't like them, I'll just switch? It's a practice with 7 doctors, 2 physicians assistants, and 3 RNs. Guess I should ask my coworker if there's any she particularly prefers. Not only did she recommend them, but they're available 24/7.

I am going to come back later and respond to everyone, but just wanted to post this real quick...

@Mrs D: If you do want to go ahead and order the PIS, this website has it for $198 + free shipping! http://www.isisparenting.com/product/MEDVV_57063-03/breastpumpsparts

@Mrs D: We don't really do that here as far as I know. The baby will just start going to the same family doctor as myself and my husband see, and I believe a pediatrician would be a specialist, so if it's ever necessary to see one, our general practitioner/family doctor would refer us to one. But our system is sometimes a little messed up like that...

@JamieLee: DH is working lots of Christmas so we'll probably do "our" Christmas an alternate day... so in fairness they might have thought that they weren't intruding on anything since we'll likely be "done" Christmas by the 23rd. But it's stuff like this that they add up as me "always saying no to everything".

@StrawberryBee: Visiting them when? We'll certainly go there in the future, but the weekend of the 22nd is DH's birthday which is why they want to see him I guess. But I'll be 38 weeks pregnant, and don't think it's wise to go to them, since they're 4 hours away including a ferry that doesn't run between 7pm-7am. So if I went into labour at dinner time, I would be 16 hours away from the hospital I'm planning to deliver at.

@Mrs D: I only got the manual so far. I figured there's no point in spending the money on the electric right away especially if it turns out I don't produce any milk at all or something, and best case scenario am hoping baby will just latch on and we'll go straight from the breast for at least the first 6-8 weeks. But I'll probably get the electric once I start wanting to be able to let DH feed her some meals or be away for a few hours to do my own thing. They're not covered by medical here at all as far as I know.

@Mrs D: I did that; bought the PIS on sale at Target (twice actually lol). As long as you don't open it, you can return it within 3 months. The deal does come up cyclically; I initially bought it a while back, returned it, and bought it again so that I'd extend the return time out. Found out that Aetna lets you get the BP now before you deliver, so I'm calling tomorrow to find out if the provider has any extras of the Freestyle available after they fulfill their backorders.

@Sapphiresun: No, I meant after baby gets here and you're settled in (a month or two after delivery?) :). But considering the distance, maybe you wouldn't want to lug the baby + stuff with you to bring him or her to them. I was just thinking that it would give you more control to go to them for visits, instead of the other way around. Sounds like it's not feasible though.

@chanzi: Luckily I haven't had any strangers touch my belly...that would really not make me happy. Strangers have commented on it, but just the usual "when are you due?" "is it a boy or girl?" questions.

@redsmarties: I'm glad you're feeling better and that everything was fine after what happened on Friday...I'm sure that must have been scary!

@Mrs D: I saw that pic you posted of the fruit on Facebook and immediately started salivating--it looks so good! We didn't meet with the pediatrician we chose. He came highly recommended and is in practice with 5 other peds, so if we don't like him we'll just see a different one (though I can't imagine that will happen). I have no idea what I would have asked him in a meeting!

@StrawberryBee: Ugh, sorry about the stuff going on with your mom. I am sure that's the last thing you need right now! DH is going to set up our PNP this weekend

@Alivoo01: Glad you had a good flight to Vegas! That heat sounds awful, though! I am so jealous you get another sonogram soon...my OB said I won't have anymore unless there's a medical need

@Sapphiresun: Wow...your in-laws are whack! I can't believe they would ask you to give up your bed at 38w pregnant...oh hell no!

@StbHisMrs: Thank you!! Good luck at your appt tomorrow...I can't believe you're already having contractions! I hope your doctor gives you more info!

Not much going on with me. DH and I have our childbirth prep class on Saturday (it's pretty much all day long) so I am looking forward to that. I also have my last baby shower on Sunday, so I am looking forward to knowing exactly what we need and being able to complete our registries! I think I'll start packing my hospital bag at some point this weekend, too.

Oh wow, so I finally met with HR to talk about maternity leave. It's pretty bad - but I'm assuming it's actually average or even a little better than average for the US.

Maternity leave is paid 100% 6-8 weeks depending on the type of birth. But you have to burn 5 vacation days first, so essentially it's only 5-7 weeks paid since you're paying for the first week. Then FMLA will 'allow' you to be out after that up to 12 weeks total (counting the time you're on STD/Maternity leave) but it's unpaid and if you are unpaid for more than 4 weeks you have to pay 100% of your benefit contributions. During the unpaid portion of FMLA you have to contribute your portion of the benefit payments.

But here's the kicker - I had no idea that you actually HAVE to burn all of your accrued vacation days during STD/FMLA. I had been hoarding them like mad so DH and I could visit his family over Christmas adn I was okay with going unpaid while on FMLA - I just needed the time off. But they're sneaky and force you to use all of your days while you're out so if you want to be out any longer you have to take the unpaid leave of absense.

I just did a calculation and for me to be out for the full 12 weeks assuming I have a vaginal birth it's going to cost us around $5K. That doesn't include any hospital payments, which I had also been budgeting at $5K. So just to give birth to and take care of my baby for the first 12 weeks of his life it'll probably end up costing us around $10K minimum

Does anyone know what kind of tax deduction you get for the birth of a child? Ugh!

Just got back from the appointment....1 cm dilated! I know that doesn't mean much (especially since I'm not effaced at all), but yay! Oh, and cervical checks are definitely not fun, but it was survivable. She said she could feel the head. I debated telling DH that, but then thought that in the interest of getting some action these next 3-4 weeks, I should probably keep that to myself ;).

BP, baby's heart rate (160), measurements all still good. I should get the results of the Group B Strep next week at my appointment (Thursday).

@Alivoo01: Yup, yours sounds exactly like mine! Good point about the 'approved' PTO days - I hadn't thought about that! The $ will work out the same in the end, it's just a pain to have to get approval for unpaid personal leave so it would at least save me that frustration. I will talk to my manager about that next week, thanks for the tip!

@Mrs D: I have to pay my portion of the health insurance for the first 4 weeks of unpaid leave, any unpaid leave in addition to 4 weeks I have to cover 100% of the payment. I asked HR what the 100% was since it doesn't show on my paycheck and she's getting back to me with that. If I have a vaginal birth and am out the full 12 FMLA weeks, I have just enough vacation days so that I'll only have to pay my portion of the insurance costs for two pay periods. But if I want to stay out any longer then it's 100% on me.

@StrawberryBee: They could feel the head! EEEEK! That is really REAL!

Oh MAN. I need to catch up. Here goes.

@Sapphiresun: Your IL's are totally crazy. I would stand my ground and refuse to let them stay. Totally unreasonable.

It really SUCKS that so many of you are worried about your in-laws. My in-laws live about 5 minutes away so we don't ever have to worry about them staying at our house. I have made it clear that I will ask for help and there will obviously be visits but I DEFINITELY need time to myself. My mom is going to be helping out every day for the first week, I think, but she will go home at the end of the day.

As for relatives, I'm hoping my husband and mom will be a good buffer. So far we haven't had anyone come out and say they want to be there in the first few days. One of my friends makes me a little nervous as it sounds like she wants to be there RIGHT when the baby is born, and that just isn't going to happen. Thankfully, she's not family though and that will be easily deterred.

Thank you all for the crib advice. I'm not sure why they would try to give off a broken crib but when DH mentioned it to them, his cousin said "Oh, it's totally sturdy, it'll be fine!". Yea, no. Sorry. I'm sure it's fine but if my kid ever hurt himself on it, I would hurt you. I went out, almost that night, and bought a new crib from Sears, which should be here by next week!

As for how fast this is all happening, I KNOW!!!!!! I always heard the last month goes by so slowly, and I swear to you I feel like I'm on a roller coaster! I have so much left to do, work has been insanely busy while I try to train a new girl + get all my work done. It makes the days go by so fast. I cannot believe some of us have about 3.5 weeks left! Or that I will be full term in a week and a half! WHAT WHAT!? I'm so very excited to meet this little guy and so nervous about making sure everything is done before! I have also totally had the thought that he would be a she. Very weird!

AFM, I am swollen. Everywhere. Which I've said about 130952 times before, so I'm sorry. I'm reeeeeeally over it. I have been having a lot of cramping (nothing consistent though!) and am excited to go and see if I'm at all effaced or dilated, even though I know it doesn't mean much. I feel like he has flipped a couple times over the weekend. Which freaks me out that he still CAN flip!

NOW, for a TMI question/comment: Girls, my lady bits are suffering. Besides being swollen and looking like a sea monster, things are so .... moist down there that I have a hard time keeping things dry and aired out and although I try, I seem to just fail (Like, changing a panty liner every couple hours!). I'm starting to chaff! Please tell me I'm not the only one with sensitive lady bits or a vag that just.won't.stop.discharging.

Also, because I just can't help myself, look who's claimed the rocker:

ETA: Oh, and I wanted to mention in my last post that my hospital bags are packed and ready.

And, another TMI question (I'm full of em today!), how the sexy time business for everyone? It has seriously slowed down for us between me feeling like a beached whale and the cramps... saaaaadness.

@.twist.: I read in my childbirth book that women that had sex regularly through-out pregnancy were more likely to not be overdue. This has made me very...proactive. Although it's super awkward and there are frequent mood killers (baby kicks, heartburn, the awkwardness that is trying to move). I've started to view sex like I view RRL tea and evening primrose oil...means to getting this baby out efficiently and on time!

@.twist.: I've started to swell this week. Yesterday was the first day I wasn't able to put on my rings, and my feet have begun to swell also. Nothing painful, just noticeable.

As for discharge, I notice I tend to have more of it when I'm stressing or moving/walking a lot. Sometimes, a lot comes out, while other times, not so much. I have no idea what causes the difference, but when I brought it up to my OB, she said it's normal and as long as it's not pink/blood tinged, it's okay. I've also started to feel more pressure down there so I'm interested to see what the OB says tomorrow when she does my cervical check.

And sexy time pretty much halted since the second trimester. We get it in once in awhile, but the hubby feels uber awkward about having the baby RIGHT there. Even though the OB said it's okay to have sexy time. Plus, now that we're on the home stretch, he's afraid he'll induce labor.