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August Due Dates as of 4/7
July 24: Thismustbetheplace (#2)
- 24 w, 4 d
July 25: APRILFOOL (#2) - 24 w, 3 d
July 26: Umberto (#1
) - 24 w, 2 d
July 28: TeawithPaloma (#2)
- 24 w, 0 d
July 30: dcw6411 (#3 ) - 23 w, 5 d
July 30: pregnantbee (#2 ) - 23 w, 5 d
July 30: mossyslane (#2 ) - 23 w, 5 d
July 31: AANDMKLOVER (#3 ) - 23 w, 4 d
August 1: MrsBeluga (#2 ) - 23 w, 3 d
August 2: coffeemom (#2 ) - 23 w, 2 d
August 8: mrschickpea (#1 ) - 22 w, 3 d
August 11: silva (#2 ) - 22 w, 0 d
August 11: coopsmama (#3 ) - 22 w, 0 d
August 13: glitter (#2 ) - 21 w, 5 d
August 16: oldpuebloJenn (#2 ) - 21 w, 2 d
August 16: MrsSCB (#1 ) - 21 w, 2 d
August 16: T.H.O.U. (#3 ) - 21 w, 2 d
August 18: pwnstar (#2 ) - 21 w, 0 d
August 19: stratosphere (#2 ) - 20 w, 6 d
August 20: jojogirl (#2 ) - 21 w, 0 d
August 22: shootingstar (#2 ) - 20 w, 3 d
August 24: agold (#1 ) - 20 w, 1 d
August 25: LCTBQE (#1 ) - 20 w, 0 d
August 28: mrskerch (#1 ) - 19 w, 4 d
August 29: clairhuxtable (#2 ) - 19 w, 3 d
August 30: pirouette (#2 ) - 19 w, 2 dAppointments
Pirouette - 4/12 20 week Anatomy
THOU - 4/12 Double Rescheduled f/u
Mrschickpea - 4/13 Second Anatomy
agold - 4/14 anatomy f/u -
@MrsSCB: In the end its so crazy because I was eating such small meals and barely hungry but still gaining weight. I had big babies and lots of fluid so even though 30lbs was the upper end of what I should gain, I think I basically lost all of that within the first few days.
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@pwnstar: I agree- I think unless you are making excessively unhealthy decisions (either restricting for some reason or excessively over eating) your body is going to do what its going to do. Of course there are people who can't seem to gain weight and have to focus intentionally on eating more, and others who have to eat all the time to avoid nausea- but its all a spectrum.
@MrsKerch: I have been having some groin pain, particularly the day after a lot of exercise. I'm going to have to start sitting down to put on pants and socks, usually I Just sort of balance on one foot. I'm also having a lot of trouble rolling around/getting in/getting out of bed. We have a memory foam topper and although it extended the life of our mattress until we can afford a new one it is making things a little challenging right now.
I'm trying to be conscious of movements that I do that might exacerbate diastasis recti- I feel like there are a lot now that I have a toddler. I don't know much about it, but I'm trying to be mindful of my posture, particularly when I'm lugging her or heavy groceries around.
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@MrsSCB: I'm so glad it helped! I felt that constant tug-of-war the first time too . . . you're not vain. It's your body. And while it's not your entire identity, it is an important part of it. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about it (I truly loathe the whole martyr complex in this regard). I'm used to being able to control things . . . I know if I do x and y and eat a and b, my body will look like z. It's almost down to a science at this point, having spent so long experimenting and trying different things. The lack of control is frustrating and disheartening. And the pregnancy hormones and emotions on top of that? *oy*
So many hugs to you (for this and for your kitty)! Sending your fur baby lots of happy positive thoughts today.
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@pwnstar: Love, love, love what you said about weight gain and pregnancy. It's so true. My first pregnancy was rough - I gained 50lbs and ate super heathy for the most part. I felt horrible about myself (even though it all came off quickly and easily). My second, same story. I just really struggled with the lack of control - it felt like I only ate when I was hungry and yet the lbs just kept coming on. I told my husband last time this is my first pregnancy where I am really accepting of the fact that my body is doing something amazing and I am trying to be as healthy as I can (within reason) and it will gain what it needs to. I'm trusting the process, not comparing myself to other women, and I have felt so wonderful because of it.
But it is SUCH a process to get there - took me 3 pregnancies!
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@AprilFool: Hooray! What a relief!
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@MrsSCB: Awww, I always get nervous when we have to take the dog to the vet. They put him under to clean his teeth, and it freaks me out. I'm sure kitty will be just fine
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All of your comments about pregnancy weight gain are spot on. Took me a long time to accept that my body would do what it needed to do the first time around. This time it's much easier to accept. I started out heavier this time so I'm hoping to be able to put more effort into gettyvf into better shake after.
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@Silva: do you have any reading for me on what those movements are that i should be avoiding? i was thinking about it the other day, but i don't really know what aside from doing crunches and stuff would put me at risk.
@coopsmama: what you wrote is exactly what I'm striving for this pregnancy. It's hard to totally give up control, but I'm really trying to, because I really want to enjoy this last pregnancy and try to view the weight gain as part of the amazing package of growing a human rather than as a negative side effect. Trusting the process is not something that comes easy for me (and probably most women) but I'm working on it and i think succeeding most of the time!
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@T.H.O.U.: @pwnstar: thank you -- pregnancy is such a strange experience and a lot of it really is about dealing with not being in control, even of your own body! I'm so grateful to be in this position, but it's still weird sometimes. And my husband is so clueless -- yesterday he said, "you know, I'm surprised you're showing, I didn't know you would be already." I was like, "....we're over halfway done, when did you think it would happen?" And he just said, "Hmm, I don't know. Later?"
To give him credit, he's very sweet and always telling me I look great, but he's just never seen pregnancy "up close." I google-image-searched some 40 weeks pregnant pictures for him and was like, "This is nothing, wait until later!" lol@pregnantbee: thanks for the kitty well-wishes! He's home and resting now. I was so worried he'd be all sad when I picked him up, but he was purring and rolling around in the carrier when they brought him out. The techs were talking about how friendly he is -- I think he likes being high on narcotics
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@Pirouette: @Umberto: @MrsSCB: I'd rather it be a 1/2 pound per week than a whole pound per week.
@pwnstar: You are a tiny girl!! And thanks for the advice. I'm being mindful of weight, but not actually stressing too much about it. (I.e., I had tacos WITH beans AND rice for lunch.) I was in okay physical shape before (i work out a lot, but am still 26.1 bmi) I'm hesitant to do do any crazy working out becuase of the 1st trimester problems I had and, oh yea, the general problem I had getting this baby in the first place. So I'm just hoping it all works out for me after the baby is born and I start breast feeding.
@coopsmama: I'm so glad you are at a good place now with your 3rd pregnancy and accepting what happens as I truly understand that we sometimes can't control what goes on with the pregnancies!
@MrsSCB: Even the sweetest of guys can say the lamest things. I was showing my bump to my husband this morning and wishing it was more of a bump. He said "well you have birthing hips so maybe the baby will just hide in there."
Thanks. I have big hips.
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@Pirouette: ok, this one was kind of helpful: http://www.pregnancyexercise.co.nz/category/diastasis-recti-2/
But I found a better one....I will keep looking for it!
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@agold: Birthing hips! Men really don't think sometimes! Just to scare him I said, "Are you calling me fat?!" And he said very quickly, "nooooo, no no. definitely not!" haha I was like, don't worry, I'm just messing with you
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@agold: oh men...I just caught my husband staring at me as we were eating dinner on the couch (it's been one of those days) and he said "you're almost to the point where you can balance the bowl on your belly"! He thought it was a compliment...
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@MrsSCB: @MrsKerch: Oh, these funny husbands of ours!
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@MrsKerch: lol!
@MrsSCB: boys are just so silly. My dh should know better since it's my second, but instead he feels like he doesn't have to worry what he says because my body bounced back last time. So he's like, wow you're getting so big! You're gonna be huge this time! But in his head it's this temporary phenomenon so he doesn't think anything of it. I'm not easily offended, thankfully! And I'm trying to adopt his attitude a little more.
@Silva: thanks! I'm gonna read it now.
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hi ladies, back after a while offline, I have finally caught up over here! the weight gain/self-image/other people's comments on your body conversation is interesting to read, and @pwnstar: @coopsmama: @pregnantbee: I am LOVING the advice from you second- and third-timers
I'm a pretty vain person who in normal life makes a big effort to stay on top of things, and I'm pleasantly surprised to find that (so far, ha?) the weight gain hasn't been quite as much of an ego hit as I'd thought. my husband also keeps exclaiming "oh my god, you're huge!", and I'm kind of proud of it. I printed out a chart as a rough guide to gaining 30 pounds, and so far I'm sort of on track, up 11 from starting at 20w. @Pirouette: yes, I think my husband also sees this as a temporary phenomenon--so well put and accurate. @agold: my best friend started telling me over a decade ago that I had good birthing hips! true that they did not used to be accompanied by fat on my upper-arms and in my face but I'm glad we finally get to put them to use, right?
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@agold: You sound like you're in a great place mentally. That makes me truly (truly!) happy to hear. And yes, it absolutely will all work itself out on the flip side!
(And, fwiw, I was a little heavier when I got pregnant this time . . . but no biggie!)@agold: @MrsSCB: @Pirouette: Men. lol and *lesigh*
@Pirouette: Yanno, you make a really excellent point about the temporary-ness (and novelty) of it too . . . that helps me to make sense of why my husband does not get all anxious or worried about my body/weight (or why he doesn't give my concerns the *weight* I think he ought to!). Because to him, it's just a phase and I'll go back to normal sometime in the near future . . . whereas for him, as he works to get back in shape, I sometimes think he thinks I have the better deal of the two of us.
@LCTBQE: Love that you are loving where you are! Glad to know you are doing well.
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@LCTBQE: @pwnstar: exactly. from everything my husband has told me, i think he's just truly in awe of my ability to grow a human, and seeing me grow is fascinating to him on so many levels. it's not weight gain, it's WOW, there's a BABY in there! I think he also knows i take pride in my body (i'm athletic - years and years of ballet!) and that it's actually pretty amazing that I can set aside my normal body to grow a human and then go back to normal again (somewhat anyway
)what he doesn't see is that it's not automatic that i'll go back to my normal self afterwards, and that it might be a struggle. I think he takes for granted how my body bounced back last time, and I'm not so sure it'll happen like that the next time around, especially with 2 kids. But if it takes a little longer, so be it. Again, i'm growing a human!!
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@Pirouette: Yeah, I didn't bounce back last time . . . most people thought I did, because my body shape went back to normal pretty quickly (which I guess is, in a way, bouncing back to some degree). But. I held on to the last 10-15 pounds until I fully weaned my LO at 15 months. I think a lot of that had to do with sleep and stress issues (there was family drama, and also I put a ton of pressure on myself to show everyone that I could do it all . . . such insanity!) in addition to BFing. Who knows how it will go this time around! I truly don't have any expectations in that regard . . . just hope that it will be a little easier/faster this time around.
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@pwnstar: no expectations is seriously the healthiest way to go about it! i was actually kinda the opposite, my weight went down pretty much immediately, but i never really got the muscle tone back to where it was pre-baby. Of course, that's also something that would be apparent only to me and DH - to everyone else i looked pretty much the same. I just didn't feel as strong.
My goal for this time is to start focusing on rebuilding muscle after weaning and not a second earlier. I'm trying to look at nursing as simply an extension of pregnancy in that regard.
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@Pirouette: Yes! I dropped the weight very easily but I couldn't diet much while BFing or find a lot of time for exercise. It just is what it was. I assume this time will be very similar.
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@T.H.O.U.: exactly! working out was hard while nursing, especially since i either run or dance and you can't do either with full boobs!
not to mention timing it around nursing, especially in the early days, was rough. but i have my whole life to get back in shape, and a short time to nurse my baby -
@Pirouette: Yes, the timing is so hard and my kids dont sleep well through the night, so there is no way i can really go to bed later or wake up earlier. Sadly this time I weaned around 14 months (end of October) and got pregnant in November.
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@agold: some cute baby stuff is 50% off at Hanna Andersson today....I'm just barely resisting, and only because I just spent too much stuff buying decorations/gifts for the baby shower I'm hosting tomorrow.
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@T.H.O.U.: wow! you weaned just in time to continue your august baby streak
I had a 6ish month break, but even before that, she was only nursing morning and night the last few months. my LO didn't consistently STTN until we dropped to 2x/day, which was shortly after a year, so I figure they'll go hand in hand again this time around.
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I lost all of my baby weight pretty quickly, and then continued losing. Unfortunately it turns out I had an diagnosed autoimmune disease (I still have no idea how my supply wasn't impacted- although I guess at that point she was really only nursing a couple times a day, mostly for comfort (I was diagnosed when she was 20 months- symptoms started around 16 months I think).
I have no idea how weight loss will go this time, although I seemed to be one of the lucky ones who was assisted by breast feeding. I never dieted- but did do walking/jogging. After I got my disease under control I gained weight back to my normal amount, and then went a little higher when I miscarried in the fall.
It comes and it goes, I guess. The best we can do is aim for good health and strong confidence.
There's a great Ani Difranco song called Present/Infant. Thought you all might appreciate the lyrics:
lately i've been glaring into mirrors
picking myself apart
you'd think at my age i'd of thought
of something better to do
than making insecurity into a full-time job
making insecurity into an arti fear my life will be over
and i will have never lived it unfettered
always glaring into mirrors
mad i don't look betterbut now here's this tiny baby
and they say she looks just like me
and she is smiling at me
with that present/infant glee
and i would defend
to the ends of the earth
her perfect right to beso i'm beginning to see some problems
with the ongoing work of my mind
and i've got myself a new mantra
it says: "don't forget to have a good time"
don't let the sellers of stuff
power enough
to rob you of your grace
love is all over the place
there's nothing wrong with your face
love is all over the place -
@Silva: I just love Ani. Thanks for sharing, great perspective and words
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I was down to 8 lbs. above pre-preg weight last time.....and then gained 10-15 more b/c breastfeeding didn't help me, and I was hungry all the time and didn't have/make time for exercise. I thought maybe I'd be able to lose more after weaning at 18 mos, but that didn't happen
I'm going to have to work really hard to lose both this weight and the weight I never lost before. I also think I may have slight diastasis recti, as the top of my stomach stayed pooched out and never returned to normal. I don't think that was just the additional weight. I'd love to feel comfortable in my body again.
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@LCTBQE: So glad to see you back here and hear that everything is going well for you!
And yes, I'm really hoping these wide hips get put to good use with this pregnancy! Or else what do I have them for??? @pregnantbee: I hate having to work hard to lose weight.
I hope you don't have to work too hard to feel comfortable again. -
@agold: It's been so much harder to find exercise time ever since I had my son. I work FT out of the house, and it killed me to not see him before bed, so I'd always choose him over exercise. And after he went down, I was way too tired to do anything else. And his wake-ups were unpredictable for a long time, so I couldn't go before work. Sigh.
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One positive thing I'll share: Finally feeling some regular movement over here
DH was able to feel movement a few times, but it's not pronounced or predictable enough yet for obvious easy-to-feel movement. I'm so happy I'm finally feeling something, though!How's everyone else doing in terms of feeling movement?
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@pregnantbee: I'm a little nervous about exercise time, too. I prefer classes because I know I will get a legit 1 hour of exercise. And I like a 6 am class. My husband is great and says he will watch the baby so I can resume that class, but he doesn't get home until 6:15 and I need to leave the house by 5:50. Anyhow.. I'm going to have to be flexible and creative about it. Are you working out now? I'm dong 30 minute daily walks and a little bit longer if my husband will come. I want to start doing a little more though even if its just at home.
And hooray for feeling regular movement! I've been feeling it more and more each day and its so fun! I can hardly wait for the time when my husband can feel it with his hand on my belly.
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@agold: Exercise? Now? HAHAHAHAHA. Seriously, though, I quit my gym b/c I got sick 2 weeks after starting a regular routine....every time. Then I started Couch 2 5k....and then got pregnant. So, yeah. Haven't really made time.
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@Silva: is this celiac? Or something else - if i remember correctly you do have celiac. When i was diagnosed, i gained a little weight while my body regulated, but then i normalized pretty quickly after that. It's been 11 years for me now though so it didn't affect my postpartum situation at all. Those lyrics are perfect!
@pregnantbee: yay!!!!! I'm feeling occasional movement, but nowhere near as much as with lo. Dh def cant feel it yet but you've given me hope it will happen!
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@pregnantbee: Ha! your response made me laugh. Especially while I was eating french fries for lunch.
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@agold: Haha you're welcome. I'll be here all week.
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@Pirouette: You'll get there! The movement still surprises me, and it's still my favorite part!
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@Pirouette: yeah, celiac.
I've only been diagnosed since December 2014.
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@Silva: I can't even imagine how stressful the timing must have been for you
but at least now you know! It was life changing for me when I was diagnosed. And thankfully, my lo didn't get it from me! Apparently the chance of passing on the gene is 50% and she got dh's half@pregnantbee: hands down the best part of pregnancy!
- 24 w, 4 d
) - 24 w, 2 d
- 24 w, 0 d
To give him credit, he's very sweet and always telling me I look great, but he's just never seen pregnancy "up close." I google-image-searched some 40 weeks pregnant pictures for him and was like, "This is nothing, wait until later!" lol
Thanks. I have big hips.
I'm going to have to work really hard to lose both this weight and the weight I never lost before. I also think I may have slight diastasis recti, as the top of my stomach stayed pooched out and never returned to normal. I don't think that was just the additional weight. I'd love to feel comfortable in my body again.
I hope you don't have to work too hard to feel comfortable again. 
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