Hellobee Boards

@MrsBeluga: I already feel like I don't have time to do everything I want/need. No idea how we'll handle baby in the mix. I just figure that so many other people do it that we'll be able to figure it out. I was also a mess post-partum, but I think that had a lot to do with my own high expectations that never got met. I know to dial it back this time and that I'm doing a good job as long as baby gets some sleep, milk, love, and clean diapers.

@MrsBeluga: I'm a SAHM, but my dd goes to preschool. She'll start again in August (one week before my due date), and go 4 mornings a week. I'm concerned about illnesses, but we already wash hands at preschool before we leave and again when we get home. It'll allow me time just for baby, and good time for dd.

@MrsSCB: I've heard that BH feel the same as a charlie horse in your leg - only in your stomach. Is that true?

@agold: haha no, that's not true. BH feel like a tightening all across your belly - they are usually painless.

@coopsmama: Thanks for telling the truth about how BH feel. It was my pregnant neighbor who told me that just this morning when I saw her. Liar!

And oh, no, @coopsmama: . I'm so very sorry. Will your husband be working 7 days a week? Does he have a long commute time, making the time away even worse? Hopefully he will be getting paid more, which will be a slight silver lining. But I'm so sorry... you are going to be so tired. Poor girl. I really hope that schedule of his doesn't keep up like that for long.

@agold: I think round ligament pain sometimes feels like that Charley horse feeling when it's really bad. Maybe she confused the two?

He will be working seven days a week, yes. He thankfully doesn't have a long commute - only 15 minutes - but won't see our kids at all during the day. I will have to handle bedtime which I haven't done since the kids were nursing. He is getting time and a half over these extra hours and the employer is providing breakfast and dinner for the employees working those long hours (it's not their fault, it was really mismanagement from the top) which is great but financially that extra money isn't that significant to us, so I'm still bitter about it perks for him and all. I don't get perks from it. At this point I'm exhausted by six and can't imagine doing bed and bath and meals all by myself. Oh well. It will get done...somehow. I may look into hiring a babysitter for a few hours each week to get a breather.

@coopsmama: Ugh. That sounds so hard. I'm sorry you have to pretty much solo parent for weeks. One day at a time. One hour at a time. You will get through it. Any way you can schedule a ton of playdates to get out of the house and at least get some mama socialization and some extra eyes to give you a little break?

@MrsBeluga: We're still keeping him in full time daycare. I just don't think I have it in my to deal with a newborn and a toddler. DH will be responsible for taking him. I think he would get bored and frustrated here with us, and I think it'll drive me nuts to be trying to BF and deal with no sleep plus a toddler who either wants a ton of attention or to watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates all day. Plus, I'm looking forward to the bonding time with this baby like I got with DS.

Also, I'm lucky in that my 12 week leave will be 100% paid. So we really have no reason to pull him from school, as our finances won't be affected. I think continuing the routine will be good for all of us.

@MrsSCB: I'm having a ton today too. I had a really hard time discerning when they were coming and going, but I know it was happening for a while. I'm home now, laying on the couch, and I feel much better. If it helps, the guidance my midwife gave me was more than 6 hour, but also that don't stop when you rest, drink water, and/or take a bath. Now that I'm resting and have my feet up, the feeling has stopped, so I'm not going to stress about it.

@coopsmama: yes! That's why a mothers helper might be a great set of extra hands. Have you looked on Care.com?

@coopsmama: I totally get you on not necessarily needing those perks. I sort of feel the same way when my husband works a bunch of overtime. The extra money is nice, but I'd rather have him at home. I don't even need help from him in anyway since I don't have kids yet! So I didn't know that you work from home. Definitely reduce those hours if you can. Maybe hire a cleaning lady, if you are home while she cleans then you don't have to try too hard to find someone to trust. I love other people's suggestion of a mother's helper. Maybe you can call your church, or a local church if you don't have your own, and ask about high school babysitters. That could be really nice.

@coopsmama: Time is so money to me, too, and my husband and I have also structured our lives to reflect it. (If only I could have realized this before I went to school to become a career lady and incurred massive student debt. ) Anyhow... what you are doing is very legit stay-at-home work. 2-3 hours a day of at-home work is no joke. When I was on bed rest in January, that's about all I could manage to get done each day and it was an effort! I hope you can arrange a way to get some relief during your days. Or maybe your one child will start to take a nap and you can also get both of them to play nicely together in a play pen!

@coopsmama: My husband is out of town for 3 weeks this month and 2 weeks in June. I feel you! I've hired a mothers helper (I pay $8/hour) and I have 2-3 college age girls (I from my church, 2 I know their moms from barre3) are coming over in the afternoon and entertaining my DD so I can lay the eff down. My DD doesn't nap anymore, and I need the break. One girl I'll let take my car and my lo to the children's museum or mall (and I'll pay her a bonus on this days) but the other days they'll be playing here while I'm here. Check care.com or if you have resources like a church or whatever. My neighbor has a 2 year old and is paying a 14yo $5/hour as a playmate in the afternoons. I hope you can get some help and or relief!

@MrsSCB: Glad baby looks good and hope it's truly nothing. I wish you could leave and get food. Hopefully you won't be there too much longer. Or maybe you're already done.

@MrsSCB: Phew! Glad all is well.

@agold: can they leave you on it and just have double insurance?

@agold: my initial instinct is to tell you this is not your problem! honestly, if one person declining coverage is enough to destroy their entire agreement, it seems like that's something they need to renegotiate with the carrier. what if someone quits? at the same time, if that is the case, and there is really nothing they can do about it, I would ask them to make up the difference between the 2 premiums for you to stay on their plan. There's no reason you should pay more because your company took such a risk in their negotiations that every single employee would want insurance.

@MrsSCB: glad everything is OK!!

@T.H.O.U.: @Pirouette: @pwnstar: Thank you! Feeling good so far today, just trying to stay on top of the water intake and not do anything too crazy. The next couple of days are going to be a bit stressful -- I'm flying to Richmond tomorrow, unfortunately not on a direct flight, then Saturday I have my cousin's college graduation followed by a three-hour drive to the beach But once we get there I plan on doing nothing for a week!

@MrsSCB: on the way back I'm going to take a unisom so that I can maybe keep the queasiness to bay and get some sleep. I think on my flight out here I drank too much water that just sloshed around and made me feel full and sick.

@T.H.O.U.: I'm hoping worst case scenario is that I can have double insurance. I would downgrade the insurance at my work to what is covered 100%. I can't do that until January. I would then have to use that insurance (which I personally hate more than anything) until I could join my husbands insurance in June of next year. Meanwhile, paying for me separately and husband and baby girl separately for approx 4 months making it more expensive to me. So expensive for 4 months followed by that plus the risk of having to use shitty insurance for myself for another 4 months thereafter.

@Pirouette: you're initial instinct is my initial instinct! I should hear back from HR today so I'm praying there wont be the problem I'm expecting.

Can you second+ time mamas tell me what I can expect for my own doctor visits AFTER I have the baby? How often and for how long do We continue to go?

@MrsSCB: yes. I wore shoes that I could easily slip off under my seat.