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Checking in with everyone, sorry I've been MIA, we have been busy working on our new place. Let me tell you, new house+pregnant+ 15 mth old child+ extreme heat does not go well together. I can't wait to be settled in the new place and the craziness calms down!
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@lavender: aw I bet hopefully everything will come together soon for you and you'll be able to relax a little
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@lavender: Yikes! I bet! Hoping you can find some time to relax soon!
Hope everyone is feeling good! I'm good, just counting down the days to Mondays u/s!
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@AuntieEm: I can't wait for you my next appt isn't til 4weeks so I have a while
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Does anyone know when you are supposed to stop sleeping on your stomach/back? I'm a stomach and back sleeper (I flip between the two all night) and I'm getting nervous about when I should stop. I'll be 10 weeks tomorrow (YAY!!!!)
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@MrsKoala: Yay for 10 weeks!
I actually JUST read something about this last night as I was wondering the same thing. I read 2 different things (though I guess for some maybe its the same). One said that in 2nd trimester you should stop stomach and back sleeping. The other said 'when you start to show' (though what exactly that means, I don't know...show to yourself? Show to others? Whenever you have some rounding?)
I know this isn't super helpful, but I'm going to ask my doc when I go on Monday so I'll let you know what she says (if you don't find an answer sooner )
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Sorry @Mrskoala I am not much of a help on this. I found that with some of the bloat it was really uncomfortable for me to sleep on my stomach so I stopped doing that ages ago. Might be the same thing though, that at some point, as your belly gets bigger, it may cause enough discomfort for you that you won't want to sleep on your stomach anyway. I was also having lower back aches when I slept on my side and noticed that when I put a pillow between my knees it completely eliminated the pain. I am not even showing yet and am already considering a body pillow! Jeez going to be a long 9 months!
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@AuntieEm: Oh thanks!!! If you could update when you get the answer from your doc, that would be awesome! I don't have another appointment for two weeks and I am starting to get a bit nervous. Luckily, it's still comfortable but I get a little freaked out that I'm doing something that could potentially be bad.
@MSBartlett: Even though I'm bloated, it's still weirdly comfortable. Maybe it's because stomach sleeping used to be the only way I could fall asleep? Sorry that you are already having backaches! Hope that body pillow solves things for you!
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@MrsKoala: Ive read that you will naturally start to alter the way you sleep, sit, etc... For me, I can't sleep on my belly anymore. It hurts!! I can still sleep on my back for bits of time. I think we move in our sleep to make our bodies comfortable anyway, and that your body will do what it needs to in order to stay comfortable while pregnant too.
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@citymouse: That's really reassuring to know that my body will just automatically adjust. Thanks!!
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@MrsKoala: Yeah, to add to what @citymouse said, the article that said stop doing it when you are showing also said that it would most likely not be comfortable at that point.
For me, both stomach and back sleeping is still really comfy. When I lay on my stomach I assess if anything feels weird for the first minute and if not I don't worry
But I'll still let you know what my doc says! -
@MrsKoala: yay for 10w I'll be 9 tomorrow but I having already stopped sleeping on my back and belly because it started to feel uncomfortable so maybe everybody body's do it at different times
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Haha today at lunch I curled up in a corner of my class to rest for fifteen minutes. Too noisy to actually doze but it definitely helped me to get through that last class of the day. Cannot wait for this next month to go by so that I get some of my energy back!
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@SweetMamaM: that's funny I can honestly say I'm so glad DH talked me into taking a break from work til my classes start in aug cause I would honestly be miserable trying to work now MS is starring to kick my butt now ugh and by the time school start I'll be in my second trimester hopefully feeling better
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@SweetMamaM: That is too funny! Ditto @Honeygold89. I was just really fortunate with my contract ending when it did. I worked during my last pregnancy and although it was short lived it was BRUTAL for that month or so. I don't envy the working pregnant ladies at all. Honestly, they should have some equivalent of maternity leave in the first trimester!
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@AuntieEm: yes I told DH yesterday how glad I am that he talked me into staying home for a little and at first I went crazy and was ready to find a job after two weeks home and then I got my
that next month and was glad I didn't find a job yet lol poor mommas
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@AuntieEm: I second this first trimester leave idea. I've been absolutely useless at work.
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@MrsKoala: Right?!? I was too last time. I ended up calling in sick, rolling in late, working from home, leaving early. I was bad haha. Fortunately because I was a contractor (I charged by the hour) AND my boss was really cool AND it was a lax work environment, it was ok. But for ladies who have demanding jobs/jobs they can't work from home or roll in late (I.e. teachers) I really feel for!
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So on the topic of jobs....what do you all do? If you care to share
And do you plan on continuing to work after baby comes?I am a web/digital project manager. As I mentioned, I am a contractor so I'm in between gigs. Not sure if I'll go back at this point. Not saying I'll be a SAHM for sure, but it will be hard to find a job now and then take maternity off again in a few months, especially since contractor gigs aren't permanent. I feel kinda bad and it might be easier to wait till after.
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@AuntieEm: I wish I worked in a field where I could do contract work! Although it must be hard to not be sure what you are going to do next.
I'm in higher ed at a private university. Luckily, summer is pretty slow for me but it's an important planning period for the next semester so I do have a good amount that needs to get done! I have to keep working after baby as DH doesn't make enough to support us all and we live in a state that has a high cost of living. Good question! I'm curious about this, too!
ETA: I'm also not sure if I have it in me to be a SAHM. It's a hard job and I'm not sure if I could handle it.
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Well like I say as of now I'm unemployed but Im going back to school next month full time for RN and apparently the baby will be born while I'm still in school but afterwards I will probably find a little part-time job as an assistant or something til I finish school but I'm not really sweating it cause DH doesn't care if I work or not he can handle it on his own. Hope that doesn't sound too cocky.
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@auntieem I am an immigration paralegal. My work is pretty demanding and busy and that sort of help me push through the first tri so far. My work is really relaxed if I want to workout in the middle of the day (which has been a savior in battling the fatigue), leave at whichever point for dr. appts, and take any time off I need.
I intend to continue working after we have LO since our combined income is pretty ok, but would be tough if we lived off one income. Also, I really enjoy my job and it is important to me that I have this to balance my life.
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@MrsKoala: I am a professor and up for tenure in the fall! Yikes! I will continue working after baby because I love my job and have worked reaaallly hard to get it. I also am uncomfortable being financially dependent on DH but certainly understand why all women don't feel that way.
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I work as a dental hygienist and plan to work after baby is born. Financially it works the best for our family. Some days it is so hard to be "on" at work and my day is fairly demanding and can be really tiring- depending on my schedule.
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@raintreebee: Oh cool! I'm on the admin side but thinking about going to get my PhD in five or so years. Good luck with tenure!!! I really hope you get it! And you hit the nail on the head when you said that you are uncomfortable with being financially dependent. I am as well. I was unemployed for a couple months after grad school with only DH working and supporting us and I think back on it as one of the worst times in my life. I felt like I had no agency in my life. I also recognize that others might feel differently but I've always been a very independent person and don't like that for myself.
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See, I am soooo torn between working and not working. On one hand, I grew up with a SAHM until I was 13. Then she decided to go back to work part time since I could watch my siblings (I'm oldest). I LOVED having my mom home when I got home from school. I also think it'll be so hard to leave the baby at the end of maternity leave. And my job is usually demanding so I worry about how much time the nanny would spend with LO vs me. So for these reasons I was hard core SAHM for a while. Plus, we're lucky that we don't need my income. I mean, I actually do well myself so its definitely a big chunk of income to lose but its not necessary (if anything its just my fun money). SO don't mean that to sound braggy, its just the truth and weighs into decision making.
HOWEVER, over the last 2 years I've become successful in what I do and have received promotions, so now i think "why would I have worked SO hard since college to just quit now?" I find what I do to be rewarding (though stressful) and I love that I get to travel a lot (India! China! London!) And the money isn't nothing! I love being somewhat independent and feeling absolutely no guilt that I shop every day (I'm really, really bad), go to dinner with friends, take trips to visit girlfriends across the country, etc. Though I guess those last two things will probably decrease after LO arrives
And still being able to contribute to the household expenses. I feel 'worth' in our relationship when I'm working.BUT THEN I see my sister and how she always feels like she's failing at something...work or mothering. She's always missing time at the office or at home. She never feels successful at either. Her coworkers roll their eyes when she has to take a sick day because a kid is sick or has to leave early because the sitter has to leave early. Her boys get sad if she has a deadline and must work a weekend.
BUT THEN I see some (not all) SAHM I know and they seem bored and just obsessed with their kids. They have nothing else in life to worry about and I get that you love your kids but come on...you must have more to talk about than the consistency of his bowel movements and surely you don't think that I find it interesting? To be very clear, it isn't ALL SAHM's! I'm so not slamming that job because its hard work and I'm still considering it for myself. But everyone reacts to situations differently and some of them just haven't handled it well. And I worry "will that be me?"
Gahhh, I just don't know. I guess I'll just see how I feel at the time. If I can't bear to leave him/her after a couple of months, I'll stay home. If I get bored, I'll go back to work. I guess its hard to say when its still so early.
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Plus I still make my own money on the side by doing hair most weekends so I don't have to totally depend on DH
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I am a wedding photographer and work from home. I am hoping to be part time for our first baby, and then I *think* I would like to to stay at home for our 2nd, and any future babies. Im not sure if that would be financially possible, but I am happy that I can go part time at least! And maybe I wont want to stay at home after we have our first and we see how it goes. Maybe I will really like having my own personal work as well.
I wouldn't feel financially dependent on DH if I did stay at home. Im not sure why, but it would never feel that way. My parents always had 2 separate checking accounts and it always felt like they were in competition with one another, or one was allowed to spend more than the other because incomes were not equal. (The fact that their child was aware of that shows there were other issues, not just financial, as well, but thats another story!) I think because of that, DH and I have always had a "were equal no matter what" kind of attitude. He knows that if I were to stay home, Im working just as hard and am just as "entitled" to spend money as he is. That's just us though!
ETA: I would feel nervous if he were to (God forbid) die, and I was a stay at home mom. Life insurance would probably increase if we decided I would stop working completely.
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@AuntieEm: I am an administrative assistant at a state park. It's a major tourist destination so at times it's very demanding...but also flexible and sometimes fun!
I work April 1-October 31st. Currently counting down the days til the end of the season!I do bookkeeping, event organizing, paper work, computer work, and sometimes supervisor responsibilities. Everyday is different. State budget cuts are putting a lot of strain on us. Unfortunately the job isn't as fun as it used to be. I foresee the park closing down in the next few years. I didn't have a doubt in my mind I would go back to work after LO is born, but being a SAHM is sounding better and better everyday.
DH's pay covers all our bills and expenses but doesn't leave much breathing room. We are able to get by easily in the winter when I'm off but quitting all together may be too much of a strain.
I'll have LO when I'm off for the season...so if I really don't feel up to going back I may decide then whether to stay at home or not. I know the park will take me back whenever, but they will have to immediately fill my position and I'll lose my flexible, Mon-fri 8-4 job. Struggle.
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Hi ladies! I've sort of fallen of this thread a bit; I've been reading along but it always seems to be at a time when I can't respond!
Anyway, it's great to see that everyone is doing well, although I'm sorry MS is starting to take a toll on so many. At least we're all more than halfway through the first tri - the glory days of pregnancy (aka second trimester) are in sight!
As for the recent topic of work/staying home. I'm a SAHM and whilst I agree that it is not for everyone, I will say that I absolutely love it. I love not having to divide my time between work and my child, and I love that I am the one raising her and there for all of her important moments. I've always intended on being a SAHM and that is something that DH prefers as well (although he has always said it is completely up to me). I don't feel the slightest bit weird about not contributing as my contribution is actually just as important as DH's contribution. He provides the means to keep a roof over our head and food on the table, but I'm providing the love and care for our child that is going to teach her to become a responsible, contributing member of society. I don't think you can put a dollar value on that.
Anyway, I have a long career history that I am quite proud of (I was a child protection social worker and spent several years working abroad; I also taught for two years through a fairly prestigious alternative teaching program) and have nearly two master's degrees (the teaching master's I'm a few credits shy of and may or may not complete someday). I have been self-sufficient and know I can and will be in the future when the time is right for me to go back to work. But for now, I know my place is at home with my daughter and this new baby. We are also fortunate in that DH has a fantastic career and even with only one income, we are still comfortable enough to travel, do the things we want to do, and still put a fair amount away in savings without having to count pennies. So whilst it is definitely an individual preference (I know plenty of people that would be bored silly if they were to stay home!), it is something that I absolutely love.
And in other news - when is everyone having their next appointment? I just scheduled my NT scan for the 23 of July and can't wait!!!
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@Ree723: My NT scan is on July 24!! Less than 2 weeks! And I'm so excited to almost be out of the first tri!!
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Omg is anybody else DH/So driving them crazy but in a cute way lol he has gone crazy and got a stack of books and videos on the pregnancy and wants me to look and read them all with him lol he just told me "baby you better start on your Kegel exercises" I'm like really I'm only 9 weeks!
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@Ree723: My next appointment is July 25th! I'll be 10 weeks and get my first ultrasound. Can't wait!!
@Honeygold89: My husband read a whole fatherhood book the day I found out I was pregnant and that was it. Lol he's super excited for the baby but not interested in the details. Lol
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@Ree723: my next appt is aug 5 I think I get my nt scan then but I'm not 100% sure tho
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@Danizaur: lol wow DH is sitting in the bed right now going through this whole entire book right now showing me pictures and things its cute but I'm tired lol
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@Ree723: It's really nice hearing from a SAHM that loves it. I was getting nervous because I've heard many who are SAHM complain or working moms say they'd be bored. I'm still not sure what will happen but I guess there's time for that
Do you have "you" time? That's another thing that scares me. If I'm a SAHM will I ever get time to myself? I really like alone time!
ETA: I'm not saying its a deal breaker. I'm just curious if you're able to fit it in. I've even considered getting a part time nanny (a few hours a week) even if I SAH to get my alone time. Is that nuts??? You're now our resident SAH guru
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@Ree723: Oh and my next appt is on Monday (15th) just to check progress. So excited!
I guess the next one after that will be NT scan but no clue when...2 weeks later? -
@Honeygold89: @auntieem: I hate you both a little bit right now! LOL. Winter break has just started but I'm on conference for three days of the two weeks, plus seven hours traveling time each way. I'd usually be thrilled, right now I'm too tired to care.
As probably guessed by my previous refs, I'm a high school teacher. I'll be taking at least a year off, but probably closer to three (until LO is old enough for Montessori school).
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@SweetMamaM: aw lol my timing is just good hopefully my second and thrid trimester are better then the first cause by the time school start I'll be in my second tri and by the end of the semester I'll be (if all goes well) getting ready to have the baby and the summer tri won't start til May it just works for me
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OMGGGG ladies. I'm meeting friends for lunch and they chose this seafood restaurant. I got here first so that I could order ginger ale in a champagne glass and tell the waiter to keep them coming.
But the smell here. Omg it's killing me. I was actually in the mood for some seafood but the stench. I hope I don't hurl because then I'll give myself away despite the fake prosecco hahaha.
that next month and was glad I didn't find a job yet lol poor mommas
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