Hellobee Boards

@runnerd: @littleredhairedgrl: @HLK208: @NorCalWayfarer: thank you! We adore our little smiley cheeky monkey! can't wait for him to be a big brother

@NorCalWayfarer: I saw that last night and was shocked! I posted a thread thanking the person who gifted me gold. If it was one of you I'd love to thank you personally. I can't wait to return the favor next month! HB is the best.

@mk0180: i hear you on the multiple breakfasts! by the time dinner rolls around i'm not even hungry..

Hey all sorry I've been completely remiss! Really glad to read everybody's updates! We are doing well and future baby M is looking healthy so far. We had the 12wk u/s and NT test which was all positive. Got a few cute photos too.

I noticed people discussing what they will do for work after the baby. I've been thinking about not going back to work but I'm not sure. Are those of you who are leaving work resigning or will you take Mat leave first and then resign? I'm not sure what is better. On one hand I want to keep my options open. On the other hand is it fair for them to hold my position for 12 months if I don't end up going back?

@lauraeabel: thanks! That makes me feel better. I have a colleague on Mat leave and she's definitely coming back so it makes me feel a bit bad. Like 'she can come back to work, what's wrong with you?' But because I won't need to work I think it will be really hard to go back. And childcare is so expensive - if you can even find a space available around here. It's all too hard. I'll just stick to baking and sewing.

@littleredhairedgrl: I also scheduled an elective u/s to find out the sex in February! Just can't wait!!!

@mrsemm: great pics!! i plan to go on mat leave and then resign while out.. i've been with my company since 2007 and that leave time is owed to me. i've talked to a bunch of people about this and i don't think you should feel bad about it.. your company offers you this time and you should be able to take it and not feel guilty. and, even if you think you're 99% sure you won't return, what if during that time off something changed and you wanted to come back? you are just keeping that option open to you..

@kml636: seriously! i am going nuts waiting! the only thing i worry about is that the prediction next week at 16 weeks will be wrong and we'll find out something different at 20.. but it'll be nice to get some extra pics and viewing time regardless!

I don't want to start a controversy here, but... (isn't that a great preface? Now you know I'm going to say something totally inflammatory).

I feel like gender equity in my field is a really important subject and women often get "mommy tracked" once they have kids. I understand that being a WOHM mom is not for everyone but I've fought really hard to get where I'm at in my career and feel like I would be doing a disservice to women in my industry if I were to tell my employer I was coming back from mat leave and then not. It lends itself to why employers in my field don't want to hire women -- they think we are going to work for 3-5 years and then have kids and never come back, or come back and not be able to perform our job as well as a man. I firmly believe that the system desperately needs changing and that we need to make it more conducive to working parents. I'm involved in local and state-wide women's groups in my industry in an attempt to address these concerns. But in the mean time, I want to prove to my employer and my industry (and my future kids) that I am just as good at my job as a man.

Ok end rant. Sorry if I've offended anyone, that was truly not my intention.

But I do agree that mat leave/PTO is time you've earned and you're entitled to it, so don't feel bad about taking time you've earned!

@HLK208: ugh annoying! How are you doing on the HG front? I know you'd mentioned earlier you were one of the lucky ones to be blessed with that little pregnancy gift.

@HLK208: thank goodness for the zofran! Glad to hear you're surviving!

@HLK208: Glad things are getting a little better for you! It'll all be worth it in the end...

Question for you all--is it possible that I could feel baby move at 15w1d? This is my first pregnancy, and everything I read says that I shouldn't feel anything for at least a few more weeks...but I can't help but wonder. It feels almost like someone is tickling me from inside, but I could be crazy and reading into something that's not really there. Just wanted to see if any of you felt or think you felt something so early!

@squeaks: definitely! I've been feeling movement for about a week but this is my third pregnancy. I felt flutters at 16 weeks with my first.

@NorCalWayfarer:
I hear you! I think you make an excellent point. Just to be clear I wouldn't say I was coming back and my boss wouldn't ask. But he does need to let me come back to my position within 12 months of my taking leave. I don't know that my decision not to go back to work should reflect badly on mothers who chose to come back to work and I certainly firmly believe that mothers can have fulfilling careers and shouldn't be mommy tracked just because they have kids. But at the same time I know it's not for me for many reasons. And that should be ok too.

@runnerd: yes 12 months largely unpaid so I wouldn't get too jealous. Basically we get a small amount of money from the government based on 18 weeks minimum wage (and that was a step up because we used to have nothing) and we're entitled to take up to 12 months unpaid leave while keeping our position. It's good but you still have to be able to afford to live on one income. In Canada, they get 12 months with actual pay (I think 55% of their income) - now that's awesome! On the flip side, they have horrible winters so you know - you win some you lose some.

@lauraeabel: I totally agree - would be great to see the US implement some form of paid parental leave. However, countries like France have very high taxes which support these types of social services. I have friends who live in France and they do have good social services, like health care, education, subsidised day care, mat leave, nanny services etc. But trust me, they pay for it. Their taxes are very high. When I was there, I was able to claim back the sales tax on purchases - it was 20%! Insane!! I think the last time I went shopping in NY it was something like 5%. Apparently I have heard their income tax brackets are very high as well. Same goes for Scandinavian countries - everybody loves using them as comparisons when it comes to what the government does for the people, but nobody ever considers the flip-side. None of these services are free and the government needs to get the money from somewhere. I'm all for implementing such things, but I get the impression in general that if it meant a significant increase in taxes, people would suddenly not be so happy about it.

@MrsEmm: DH and have talked about that a lot - all the flack the US gets for not offering this program of that program, then we remember that other countries are paying for those programs through taxes, and we don't mind being our own "insurance" and saving money for our life as needed. Especially considering that I will only have 1 or 2 children, I don't really want to subsidize for those choosing to have 4+ kids.

@littleredhairedgrl: it's getting a little easier, but I struggle a lot with worry (although I have had issues, I probably still would!)

@runnerd: peeing all the time. now up to 2 times during the night. but also still have an almost unquenchable thirst!

@NorCalWayfarer: yeah the waiting just feels so long and the time in between makes for plenty of time to conjure up worried thoughts.. would love an ultrasound machine in my house

@Mrs. Amethyst: We're so excited to find out!! We were considering being team green until our sonographer (/friend) did something totally EVIL after our last scan (15 weeks) and said "oh man, now I have a big secret to keep... I know what you guys are having." She offered to tell me but we were totally mentally unprepared that day so we declined for the time being. Now we're dying to know.. I'm weirdly jealous that another human being knows more about this little life inside my belly than I do! Now the countdown until the anatomic scan (2/21) feels like forrrr-ever.

@HLK208: @NorCalWayfarer: Oh man, I'm 16 weeks today and I wish I could feel something... can't wait for those little flutters!

Oh and other thing I forgot to say - boobs haven't been very sore since 12 weeks, and then bam! Decide to be all sore again this week. So annoying!

@runnerd: Mine have stayed pretty sensitive, enough that I can't sleep without some sort of compression (tank top, sports bra etc) or else my nips get really sore! On that note... I had a breast feeding dream last night... about my cat.

... not quite sure what to think about that one