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@Coopersmama: I know, I know. Being an adult sucks sometimes lol. I am actually seeing him today and I don't know when/if I'll see him next week so I'm considering just telling him now and telling him I have an appointment with a daycare tomorrow and will know more after that. There really isn't anyone to take over for me. Basically it is me and him. His son helps out some times (he is a law grad but has never held a law job) but honestly he has no experience and he is best for research/doc review and I wouldn't trust him to draft.
Because we know so far in advance approx when I'll be gone we can easily avoid any court appearances or meetings for me during that time. And we don't have any trials set for May/June at the moment. Mostly it is just the day-to-day monitoring what comes in via email/mail and responsive to that, and keeping things moving. At the moment I handle about 90% of the workload and my boss just sort of rubber stamps my work and has like 2 pet project cases he works on. But mostly he's kind of "over" working full time as a lawyer so I don't think he actually spends much time every week on law stuff (we both work at home so its hard to tell precisely). I think the "solution" is that he's going to have to be a real lawyer again while I'm gone and actually respond to stuff and manage the case load-- which he should have ample time to do if I get as much done as possible before I go (and I plan to work up until I go into labor basically because I work from home so why not).
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@Mae- If he gets upset after you have made his life so incredibly manageable then he is lame
He will need to extend the same courtesy to you. -
@Coopersmama: gah you'd think so. I'm just so nervous. And I don't know if I should lead with my "minimum I'd be okay with" plan or ask for more so I have room to negotiate. I also sort of want to see what he'd come up with first just on the off-chance what he offers is more than I was willing to accept. I hate to "leave anything on the table" especially because I've been working for him for 5+ years and have put up with a lot of shit. But then my friend keeps telling me how most people don't even get paid time off so if I get anything paid I'm lucky and I"m like-- shit I think I deserve more than unpaid time off after all the work I've done! (basically ugh, don't want to be greedy but I do want as much paid time off as possible to be home with the baby!)
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@cookie_dough: so jealous of you Canadians! lol question though - is it paid for a year or are you just allowed the time off without losing your job?
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My MIL just retired and will be watching my newphew, who is due in December, so I think she assumes she will be watching our baby too. I feel a little weird leaving her with 2 babies full time though. Like its not fair to her and no way for her to enjoy her retirement - but she says its what she wants and is excited for it. It really is a life saver though bc there is no way we could afford a decent daycare in NYC
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@mae- I would ask for exactly what you want. Negotiate like he would
Seriously- five years vs. 2 months..... he ought to be grateful you are that loyal, and work that hard for him.
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@Mae: I agree with the others. Ask for what you want - or more. This way if he wants to negotiate you have wiggle room. As in invauable employee he should be willing to make you happy so you stay with him. He is better with you gone a few months then gone forever.
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@mrsog: that is great that your MIL will watch your kids! I so wish my parents lived by us because my mom would love to watch our kid. I'm hoping she talks my dad into moving here sooner rather than later (not just for free child care, but also bc i've been harassing them to move here for years haha)
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@mrsog: I know, I feel kind of bad mentionning it, since I know that we are sooooo lucky to have the full year off. I think that as long as you have been working for long enough (for example, I had to be back at work for at least 6 months after mat leave to qualify) you get paid about 50% of your salary for the year through Employment Insurance. Then many employers top-up that amount (I work for the federal government and they top-up that amount so that I end up making about 97% of my salary for the year). I THINK I have that right...but yes, once again, we are sooooooooo lucky. I am so thankful for it!!!
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Pregnancy pet peeve: when women who are not pregnant--and have never been pregnant--tell you what you should be eating. Yes, I was eating candy corn before lunch today. I know that is unhealthy. But I do not need you telling me I should be eating crackers for nausea!
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ditto!
I am not feeling 100% today and I just needed a Wendy's chicken sandwich. And my colleague who has never been pregnant, and likely never will be (I believe she's over 45) decided to scold me :|. Lady, please.
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Thanks for your sweet comments on my little baby everyone
@whodat: I was 11 wks 1 day yesterday, so not quite 12 weeks yet!
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@Glitter: Mmmm, Wendy's chicken sandwich sounds so good. I feel that I need this for dinner now!
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@twodoghouse: indulge!
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@Glitter: I was pretty disciplined for lunch (salad and veggies and yogurt!) so I'm pretty sure I EARNED a chicken sandwich for dinner, haha.
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@whodat: slap a b*tch.
So I told my boss today! It was kind of weird timing because he was really distracted but I'd already decided to do it and I just wanted it over with so I did. He seemed genuinely happy for me/us. He didn't have time to discuss any details about how this will work but I'm glad I at least got it out there so we can have that conversation soon.
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@Mae: Whew, that must feel like a relief! Glad he sounded positive about it!
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@Mae: so glad you got it out of the way and got a good reaction! I think the next conversation you may be able to present your proposal for how you would like your leave to be handled and go from there since likely he will have a chance to think about it too!
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@whodat: my MO for the first trimester has been eating whatever sounds good and not worrying about the nutritional content at all. so far so good, even if that has meant much more halloween candy and chocolate than usual.
my interests have been more varied this time--last pregnancy i was pretty good with saltines throughout the first tri but this time they worked for one week, then i was on to parmesan goldfish crackers, then pretzels, and now popcorn! salty carbs is definitely the theme though. Plus chocolate!
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@Mae: phew! must feel like you can breathe again
I hope you both agree on something that works for you!
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@Mae: so glad you told him and got it off your chest. I could tell its something that has been worrying you so its great to get those things out of the way. now at least he knows and he can start thinking about the plans.
I think I'll tell my boss next week. I think a few people overheard me talking to my one friend here who knows so I would rather him hear it from me then someone else. He will be fine with it but I was trying to hold off as long as I could so I don't seem like I'm prego forever. I still have to tell HR too so maybe I'll do that next week also. -
I was exhausted yesterday so I took a nap when I got home from work and didn't cook dinner. when DH got home he made me, per my request, an omlet with pepperjack cheese and a side of green olives stuffed with lemon (which I have been eating by the pound). I love these random dinners that I come up with now lol
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@Mae: you must be so relieved! And it's probably a good thing that you didn't discuss terms right away, because it will give him time to think about it rather than having to answer on the spot.
@mrsog: ummmm...green olives stuff with lemon? I didn't know that such a thing existed...but i want some. NOW!!! I'm so jealous that your DH is cooking for you. Mine is on a new running kick, so every night when he comes home from work he goes for a run, and by the time he gets back we are scrounging to find something to eat since there was no time to cook (and I am definitely in no mood to be cooking these days). I would be fine with just having nacho chips and salsa every day if I didn't also have to feed a 15 month old!
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@cookie_dough: we have a pickle and olive store by us and they have olives stuffed with all kinds of stuff. My favorite is usually blue cheese but thats off limits now so I've been downing the lemon and the jalapeno stuffed.
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@cookie_dough: I feel bad talking about it too, but we can be "bad" together! It's 600 hours of work in the last year to get 50% of your salary from the government (up to a certain max, I am sure you are beyond the max, like I am!!) and then employer can choose to top us up! Some do for part of the time, some don't at all, and then there's us....lol! You get 97% pay for the full year, I get 93%, so prior to my July 1st raise it's like getting that pay. It essentially makes so much sense to have babies here with our jobs, haha.
Our plan is to leave DD in daycare May & June, she is also in a great home daycare, and then DH will be off for the summer (July & August) and his help we will take DD out for the year, when he goes back that Sept I will be at home with the two kiddies, and the so far plan is to extend my mat leave from when it will end that May to mid-July so I can keep them out of daycare between May and when DH is off the next summer (1.5 months or so would be impossible to find daycare for I think?) and that gives me a bit of summer vacay too, back to work for me, home with 2 for DH for rest of summer, and they would both go into daycare September 2015. WOW that sounds nuts typing it out, ha!!!
I am just blassssted at work, don't feel preggo aaaat all and would love to feel it a little ladies! I have an event I am planning for 3000 or so people next Saturday so it's slightly consuming me! Our house is finally a little less sick, I still have no voice, and am going to a concert tonight, front row (woo!) and I am sure that will realllly help my tiredness and lack of voice!
@Mae: Glad you told your boss!! Big thing to have off your shoulders! DH and I decided that after parents/close fam, my two bosses have to be the next to know!
@Glitter: lol on the scolding, really? People are crazy.
@whodat: I told one person off last pg that did that to me at work. I asked them if they enjoy forcing themselves to eat something they're not feeling when they're sick, shut her up in a hurry! I love her too, but I was like are you really saying this right now?
I need to go back another page, did I see there is someone else who is another May 12 EDD twin?! Triplet now I guess?
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@mrsog: yummmm! I'm going to have to track some down. Not sure that we have any pickle stores in my city!
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PS I can't wait to hear hb!! Seeing it is one thing, hearing is a whole 'nother ballgame!
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@Beebug: that sounds like a pretty awesome daycare plan! I wish we had ours figured out. A few more weeks before I can talk to our daycare person (I want to wait until after our U/S). And glad that your household is on the mend and not too sick anymore! I'm the first one to get sick, so I'm just bracing myself for when DH and DD get it (I'm sure they will...they catch everything and I usually manage to avoid getting sick!) I can't wait to hear (and see) the heartbeat either. 1 week and 3 days left to go!!!
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@mrsog: So jealous.... Last night I was exhausted but DH is out of town and I had to cook for the kids. Feeding a 1 year old leave no time to feed yourself sometimes, and for some reason the smell of quesadillas made on spinach tortillas made me so sick. Ended up making an egg salad sandwich after they went to bed, which was actually delicious.
@Beebug: Last ultrasound LO was measuring on track for a May 12 due date, but they still kept my original due date of 5/17 because it's less than a week difference. We'll see!
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@whodat: Ohhh! I knew I read something! I have been trying to keep up reading but not always able to reply back!!
@cookie_dough: Will you get to hear it at your u/s? I feel like I didn't get to hear it until I switched to baby doc at like 20w!! I would love to hear it sooner!
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@Beebug: I don't think I will get to hear it at my U/S, but I'm not sure. However, I have my first appointment with my OB on the 12th, and I will definitely hear it then. He always uses the doppler at every appointment (or at least he did last time around). So if I don't get to hear it on the 4th, I won't have that long of a wait until I get to.
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@cookie_dough: That's awesome!
I stay with my family doc til 20w, and he didn't do it last time, said he isn't great at finding it (??!!) on anyone so opts not to, so people don't freak out (understandable I guess?) and so when I switched to baby doc (another family doctor) at 20w I got to hear it at each appt there.
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Hey everyone! I haven't posted since introducing myself. But I LOVE reading everyone's posts. I can completely relate to all the food cravings/aversions.
@Glitter: I could really go for a Wendy's chicken sandwich! Or pepperoni pizza!
I would like to say, it's nice to read and relate to a lot of your posts. My older sister is pregnant but she is due Nov 2nd, so it is more difficult to relate.
With all the ultrasound talk, I am going to try and share my 10 week ultrasound we had last week. Hopefully it works. My work internet doesn't allow full access to hellobee website, hence my limited posts.
It's comforting to know other women are in the same position as me. I am a little anxious for week 12-14, when my nauseous subsides.
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@Momma_Nessie: Glad you hopped in to share! We'd love to see your pic if you're able to upload it at some point!
So-- update from me on our daycare and doc appt today! I'm 12w4d today and the doc appt went great! Really fast actually. Pee in a cup, how are you feeling, any questions, listen to the heartbeat and bam done! But hearing the heartbeat was really cool! 160bpm and the doc said it sounded perfect. I also got a date for my anatomy scan-- Dec 2!!! So pumped that in just 5.5 weeks I"ll know the gender!! Hopefully baby cooperates.
We also had an appointment at a daycare today and it went great. I'm pretty sure they will take better care of my kid than I will. They seemed super nice, very clean and secure. Their teachers were all super nice and they seemed very concerned with sticking to your schedule and making your life easier, love it! I want to talk to my boss to work out my mat leave and see if he'll agree to me only doing daycare 3 times/week, but I'm hoping to book within a week or so! It will feel great to get it booked and settled and off my to-do list!
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@mae SO glad to hear telling your boss went well! I'd been thinking about you! That daycare situation sounds perfect. It's really the most important to find a place you feel comfortable with. At least that's what the experts at my work say!
@Glitter Um, yum on a chicken sandwich. @whodat So true that it's annoying. I had a headache yesterday and sipped some Diet Coke to see if the caffeine would help and I felt like everyone was judging me.
We had our last ultrasound at the RE on Monday and everything was measuring perfectly. Heartbeat was good (so fun to hear it!) and it looks significantly more like a baby than the blob it was three weeks ago, which is comforting! We have graduated to seeing my normal OB, so we'll see here next week.
The doctor said that since everything looked good we were clear to share the news, so we are officially public now. It's weird and awesome at the same time! We took our picture with pumpkins (two big pumpkins and a baby one) to put on Facebook and I was so surprised with how excited everyone was! It turned out pretty cute.
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@Mae: so much good news for you today! Yay! So glad you had a good appt and that you schedule your anatomy scan for so soon! I am also glad you found a daycare that you feel good about, and that you were able to find part time. What a great day!
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@tarabonno: congrats on being released to the regular doc and on being able to share the news !
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Um, can I share a super TMI pregnancy dream I had last night? So apparently I go into labor and have to give birth at a different hospital, with a different doctor, and at this hospital they didn't have enough birthing rooms so they told me I'd be having the baby in the hallway in front of everyone (my mom, my kids, random people). The only thing on my mind was not pooping on the table when I pushed, so I asked to go use the bathroom before pushing, and they said okay. I go use the bathroom, feel a baby coming out of me, rush back to my bed, and the doctor is gone and the nurses are like, "sorry, she had to leave, you're just going to have to wait until tomorrow."
The first of many weird childbirth dreams.... Last pregnancy I kept dreaming I gave birth to different small animals instead of a baby.
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@whodat: lol... what? that is SUCH a weird dream! although I think the small animals thing is even weirder. Childbirth is not even on my list of things to think/worry about at this point and I hope to keep it that way for a long time.
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@Mae: You sound so positive and have gotten so much accomplished!! Daycare taken care of is huge, boss knows, and holy crap anatomy scan date! Eeeep! I hope December is an awesome month for all of us with anatomy scans to come!
@tarabonno: yay about being officially public!
So looking forward to the weekend!! I had the most legit looking baby belly last night it was soooo crazy. I really need to start taking weekly bump pics, starting Monday, 12w (I am pretty sure I have said this a couple times with a couple other weekly milestones)!!! Happy Friday!
He will need to extend the same courtesy to you. 
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