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@twodoghouse: I can't wait to see what we end up doing too, haha! So many ideas, and what it actually comes together like will be very different, but hopefully still very nice! Eeep about the class, too bad it was the focus with the NICU stuff, nice to face it, and be aware, but better for your head to plan for your two to cook in there as long as possible!!
@Mae: I have a bottle of water open here on my desk, and didn't have tea this morning. I am telling myself no more tea until I get the water consumption up....!
I am going to be 28 this month, eeep! 27 is my lucky number so I made 27 a big deal to myself in my head for many years and am sort of bummed to be at the end of 27 and "older" but I am not really a huge birthdays or age person, so I am sure I will be over it the day after my birthday, lol.
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@Beebug: Strangely enough, 30 really does not bother me! I thought it might. 25 bothered me much more, I felt like it was the end of my "young" years and the beginning of being a grown up or something hah. And it sort of was, as I ended up getting engaged on my 25th birthday trip then got a house and a husband in short succession-- very grown up
Now 30 just sort of seems like where I am at…. house husband pets baby… seems 30-ish to me… lol
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@Mae: lol. Yes I have no 30 issues at all, a lot of my gf's have, and I don't get it. So we'll see if something comes on, but I doubt it! I have always felt older than I am, so age is something I have always hated being attached to me, but think things are flattening out now and am totally okay with it!
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I am 27 weeks today and could really use a pause button lol I have 13 weeks to close on my co-op, move and get ready for baby and it just doesnt seem like enough time. I know it will all but its still making me anxious.
@Beebug: I have been getting foot cramps too and they hurt soooo bad. I will just randomly scream and jump up when sitting on the couch and freak DH out. I drink a ton of water and eat bananas and everything they say to do so I guess its just one of those pregnancy things!
No one else I tell this too seems very impressed but I think you guys might feel differently - My birthday is coming up and I will be 29 and it will be the same week my baby is 29 weeks. I think its pretty cool anyway lol
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@Beebug: Our perinatologist really believes I will not have super early babies because my cervix is like steel and he said I could probably rent out room in it it's so long. So I know NICU is not at all imminent, but things can change so quickly and I just haven't really thought about having preemies until yesterday! I am just planning on continuing to take it very easy and hope my body keeps figuring this out as we go along!
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@mrsog: I just looked, I will be 28w Monday Feb 17th....and 28 years old that week....ha!!! Love the coincidence! Based on my being 26w today, our b-day's are the same week...I'm the 21st
@twodoghouse: LOL cervix of steel. So good to hear, and is probably super reassuring for you.
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@mrsog: that is cool
@twodoghouse: hahaha go cervix? I find it awkward when docs compliment lady bits, but I guess its nice.
My husband and I watched Business of Being Born yesterday and we saw way more boobs and vag than either of us really ever wanted to (which is saying a lot for a dude… heh).
Has anyone else seen that movie and felt it was sort of…. blah? Maybe my expectations were too high. I thought the message/information was good but I thought it was really poorly done and disappointing. Too much chatting and car rides and shaky-cam. Not enough organization and clear argument. And no discussion at all really of the benefits of natural birth in terms of recovery, which is one of the biggest Pros in my book. Way too much discussion of having an "experience" which may be important to some people but is more of an emotional/subjective benefit as opposed to a physical/objective one. I think they missed some big opportunities.
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@Mae: Haven't watched it. I feel like someone told me it was on netflix? hahaha.....maybe I will see it eventually.
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@Beebug: ooh very cool! I am the 20th!
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@Beebug: It is on netflix. We watched it because we had decided (pretty for sure) to go with a midwife and I thought it might be good for my husband to see some info on stuff I'd already learned through reading. And I guess for that it was good. It did talk about cascading interventions and statistics of outcomes for midwives v. docs and the way the rest of the world does it. But it was just sort of too hippy-floofy and disorganized for my tastes. But I guess that comes from my own biased POV. I don't care about an experience or being empowered or any of that stuff. I just want to get the baby out in the way that is the objectively safest for baby and me.
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@Mae: Haha, yes, it is pretty weird but he's an experts on cervixes I guess, so I find it flattering.
My husband does find it weird when I update my MIL on the state on my cervix after my appointments though. He's like "you know she's probably turning around and telling my dad and brother all about your cervix, right?" Oh well, my FIL and BIL should be excited about my amazing cervix too, haha.I haven't watch it, although I really wanted to. My dr. office won't let twin moms birth without an epidural (in case it needs to turn into a csection) so I am staying away from most natural birth resources so I don't get disappointed that I can't try it. Interesting that there wasn't much info about natural birth recovery! I would assume that would be a great plus that they'd want to mention!
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@twodoghouse: I wouldn't watch it if I were you. Before I decided to go midwife when I was set on an epidural I did not want to see it because I figured that if I'm going that route-- why learn about the risk? I mean obviously there are benefits and risks both ways, but I don't think that you'll find any info useful or comforting if you're definitely getting an epidural. And they don't even discuss multiples or how that will change things.
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I think if someone gave it proper attention (based on my awful birth class experience!) SO much can be done to improve the resources out there regarding L&D, recovery, etc. I know the experience can be different for everyone, but just get up to date resources that cover all options seems impossible. Kind of crazy given the number of people that go through this process!
I am sure my MIL would love to hear about my cervix, but fortunately for me her life drama is wayyyyy bigger than my cervix will ever be. She was a nurse for 35 years and is all over getting to TMI about people's stuff, I make sure DH doesn't even tell her when I have a tummy ache, lol.
I mentioned a few weeks ago about DH and his family drama. I posted a post on the main boards about "how to deal with cheating" and I can't remember if I outed about it within this thread or not, but DHs Dad had an extensive affair and it came out Jan 6th. DH and his brothers, his Mom obviously all devastated. It's totally rocked the family. Christmas and our visit to them (everyone is across country, DH only one where we are) is super bittersweet now. MIL had our huge falling out in 2012 when DD arrived, and DH, one BIL/SIL and I had a big discussion over Christmas that something was wrong/must be wrong, but none of us could have guessed this. They were such a picture perfect family, and DHs Dad was like model of perfection role model, and it's all down the toilet. Will be tough for many days/weeks/years to come, and how we travel to and interact with his family will be very tough. So of course we think a lot about with #2 coming and what that will mean, and if MIL will ever visit (she is retired) but obviously given what she did with we had DD, and now that she'd have to travel solo, we doubt it. No one deserves to be cheated on, especially 37 years of marriage in, but I do hope she looks in the mirror with all of this, too.
Wow, that turned into a big post, lol.
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@Beebug: wow I did not see the big post… serious drama, and so sad!! I hope his family can get through this, whatever that means for them. And also that this does not make your MIL more all-up-in your business to distract herself from her own issues. Family drama sucks.
We had some (very very) minor issues this weekend. My FIL was in town staying with us for the weekend, and we are not very close to him/his wife. He caught us totally off-guard the first night he was here by casually mentioning how we needed to call him the moment I went into labor because they were obviously going to rush right down (3 hrs) to be at the hospital when our LO is born and be here the first few days. Which is super super NOT OKAY with me. As you all may recall, I am feeling extremely strongly that I want no one in the hospital except my parents, and no one in our home at all for the first week we are home (my parents have agreed to go home when we are released from the hospital to give us some time/privacy).
So were just caught really off-guard bc we didn't expect him to want to come down even (he didn't meet my SIL's baby until he was 6 mo old so I didn't think he'd be that interested). I sort of just sputtered out something about how we aren't having visitors at the hospital or at home for the first week or two, and my husband did jump right in to back me up and explain that we just need a little privacy and a little time to figure out this parent thing before we start opening our doors to overnight guests. He took it okay-ish but it was awkward and he was obviously not very happy.
Then I told my mom about this awkward convo and she was supportive but apparently my dad flipped when he found out bc he thinks I'm being totally unreasonable not letting my inlaws come the first week. I don't see why he cares since I'm not asking HIM to not be there. But my mom said he's just empathizing as a grandpa. So now I'm hoping this blows over before I see him next bc I don't really want to explain to my dad why I'm not comfortable hosting guests (especially inlaws) when I'm hormonal and dealing with torn up lady bits and have my boobs out all the time.
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@Mae: Family can be so crazy. I take this all as a reminder of how not to be when my kids move on and have their own families!!
I didn't post in main board that it was DHs parents, just asking how people have dealt with cheating in their family. At that point we thought it was like 3-4 months of cheating. It's turning out to be years.....and years..... so, so awful.
Funny about your Dad flipping though! It will definitely blow over and hopefully everyone can get over themselves and let you guys roll with what you want, and that is the most important.
I was never opposed to ILs at the hospital, but knew at the hospital meant at our house the day we got home, and the days after...given they were a flight away. Seeing as they came the day after we got home from the hosp, they might as well have been at the hospital, lol. But frig I wish we stood up to them all on what we wanted, life would be so different now with them, and now it just feels so wrecked forever. Now with their drama on top of things? Bah. We are trying to stay neutral, and communicate with them both, even though MIL doesn't want any of the boys talking to FIL. Hopefully she can get over that, because so much as he may not deserve their contact he doesn't have anyone else, and cutting him out completely wouldn't be healthy for anyone.
lol about boobs out with ILs though. I decided I didn't care (am usually super modest!!) and when FIL was here after #1 I would just do whatever, whenever in terms of bf'ing. It made him super uncomfortable, and I months later apologized, but I was just doing whatever I needed to in getting through at that point! I always used a nursing cover, just didn't leave my own livingroom to bf! I said to DH last night....we should probably get window coverings for our front window's pre-baby! Damn new house and no window coverings! We have these 4 tall skinny windows, I want shutter's in the house desperately, but also want to replace these window's with one big bay window someday and can't justify splurging on shutter's, nor can I commit to something else/less expensive, but if I am going to bf, my neighbours are going to want me to get window coverings, haha! Our main living room space is that room.
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@Beebug: haha, either curtains or maybe just some of those paper shades for now? Just something so you don't give the neighbors a show
And that is exactly the problem. If my inlaws were local or closer I would definitely let them come to the hospital and come visit whenever, for short periods. But they are not local and they are not the type who would be willing to drive 3 hrs, stay for an hour, and drive home. They would want to stay in our house. And if we told them they had to stay in a hotel they would complain about the cost. and if we tried to limit visiting to an hour at a time they'd complain about how they came all this way and we keep kicking them out. They're just not very sensitive to anything other than what THEY want and need, so if they are going to come sleep in our house and expect us to wait on them (they totally do, my FIL can't even handle throwing out his own k-cup rather than leaving it dripping on my counter) and camp on our couch for days, I need a little time. Like to be honest, spending 2 days with him is VERY hard anyways, adding in everything else is just going to make the trip brutal, so I need to mitigate the challenges haha.
That is so hard about your MIL wanting her kids to cut him out. I mean I understand the sentiment. I can't imagine the spiraling betrayal you would feel and I can't imagine she's super rational right now. But making it harder on the kids will certainly not help. Ugh. Rough year upcoming I'm sure
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@Mae: @Beebug: Sorry to hear about the issues you guys are having with family
That must be really tough.We are pretty lucky with both sets of parents. I'm totally fine with having them visit in the hospital, and at home afterwards. When I had DD, I did have one issue with MIL (although I never told her). I am a super modest person, and as I've mentionned before, we had a lot of issues bf-ing. So at one point in the hospital I was trying to BF DD, and my FIL left the room, but MIL stood right over me watching. It was SUPER awkward, but I was too chicken to tell her that I felt really uncomfortable. Really not a big deal, but I kind of hope it doesn't happen this time hahaha. I'm not really keen on having my MIL staring at my boobs!
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@cookie_dough: oh god no haha. I am a super modest person and I'm also a super blunt person and I also don't feel at all badly about either of those things. I will definitely tell people they need to leave when the boobs are coming out. My mom was telling me this weekend how she's always considered me "overly modest" and when I was a teenager she once thought I was dying because I was so sick I had to go to the ER and I asked her to help me take my shirt off because I wasn't strong enough and she figured if I was willing to ask for help with my shirt (even with a bra on, with my mom) then I must be dying. lol. I'm like well… at least I'm consistent?
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@Mae: hahaha, I'm totally the kind of person that has to keep my towel wrapped around me while getting changed after swimming, etc. People are like "once you've experienced childbirth, all modesty goes out the window and you don't care anymore". Totally not the case for me! Although i didn't REALLY experience childbirth since I had c-section, so maybe that's why
We had hired a doula last time around (that we didn't end up really needing at all) and she was like "when I was in labour I found it more comfortable to just be naked". I was like "ummm, that sounds like the opposite of what would make me comfortable!" We definitely did not have the same views on "comfort" -
@cookie_dough: lol yeaNO. I found it really odd in the birth video and in the birth books I've read how many people are totally naked during birth. I mean obviously you need to be bottomless, but why do you need your boobs out? I don't get it and that would not make me comfy. I will definitely be wearing something on my top half. I'm sure during the birth I'll get over having my vag out there for the world (or um, the midwives/nurses/husband/my mother) to see. But I don't think it's going to mean that post-birth I am suddenly comfortable with showing more than necessary
But then again people also say once you get pregnant you lose all sense of TMI and suddenly want to start telling people about your bits and that has not been me at all. Whenever someone asks how I'm doing the response is "fine considering I'm xx weeks pregnant." Unless I'm talking to my husband or mom or BFF or the internet, apparently, no one needs to hear about my placenta or bladder or whatever else -
@Beebug: Wow, that sounds intense. I'm sorry your family has been going through this rough time!
@Mae: Ugh, that sounds complicated about your FIL. I'm glad you and your husband are on the same page. Just keep holding your ground and do what you need to do for you!
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@twodoghouse: bahhhh now my BFF is trying to tell me I should let him come and just make him stay in a hotel. Because dealing with him for an hour at a time in the hospital (if we make clear he has to go home before i get released) is easier than letting him stay in my house for 2 nights later. And she makes a good point. But it seems so hard to reinforce! And then that also complicates things with my MIL who is a flight away and also wants to come for the birth and we were planning to tell her no too. Why do families make this so damn hard? lol
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I totally didn't understand the get naked part of labour! I know it works for some, but I definitely stayed as covered as one can be in my hospital gown! I near begged to keep my sports bra on under it, but lost that battle!
It made me wonder when I either read about it, or heard about it in birth class if I would want to be in that moment, but yah...it never really was something I wanted!
Ice chips on the other hand? Bring those suckers on!
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@Beebug: +1000 for midwives, I'm allowed to drink honest to god water. Woot. lol
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@Mae: @Beebug: I forgot about the part where one of the nurses kept getting mad at me for putting a shirt/gown back on! This was in the days after DD was born, when I was trying to bf... she kept saying that I should just not wear anything on top (not even a bra), so that I could always be trying to bf...and this is when visitors/staff bringing our meals, etc were always walking in and out of our room. I put my foot down on that one and was like "uh no, i'm not going to just hang out half-naked all day long". She is the one nurse who finally brought me a pump though...so I can't stay that mad at her!
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@cookie_dough: Really eh? I was dressed like hours after delivery, I was soooo done with the gown! I hung out in spandex shorts and a tshirt in the hospital, everyone kept asking me if I was ready to go for a run, but I just desperately wanted to feel normal, because no other part of my body felt anything close to normal, hahaha.
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@cookie_dough: yeaaaaa no. I plan to take maternity leggings and some sort of tank or nursing shirt to change into asap. I really hope that I can get up and shower and get dressed ASAP after birth so I can start to feel a little bit normal again.
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I can't remember if I showered the day I had her, or waited til the next day? We had her just before 8am, and left the next day just after noon, it's all a blur....I think the next morning because we didn't know we'd get to leave that day?
Did anyone else already with an LO hear nothing but their LO crying while they were in the shower? Shower's were the worst thing in the world for the first bit, I thought DD was crying the whole time and it was all I could hear in my head! It was so weird because I was so not attached to DD (eager to get out and walk dog, go out to drugstore asap, etc) but showering was like torture for the first bit, I think it was just one of those new Mom "things"?
I am glad I had it, but I am not looking forward to the squeeze bottle again for bathroom trips!
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@Mae: @Beebug: Ya, it took a bit longer before I could put real clothes on, because of the c-section I guess. I was pretty immobile for several hours aftewards. I got SO excited when they told me I could get up and shower. I assumed I would have to wait several days because of the stitches, etc, but I was able to shower the next morning (so about 24 hours after the surgery). But I mostly wore my own clothes after that (although they were just cute night gowns, I couldn't wear any pants yet because of the incision). I recommend bringing one cute gown with you, just in case you end up with a c-section (hopefully you don't!)
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@Beebug: hahaha, oh the squeeze bottle! They gave me one, and I was seriously so confused. I was like "hmmm, I had a c-section, so I don't really understand why I need the squeeze bottle". But of course I was too shy to ask.
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@cookie_dough: lol I was happy to be rid of it, but it was soooo good in those initial few days after! Didn't even think about not needing it for c-section, but a different recovery all together!
My nurses were right on me after birth to get up and go pee, I don't remember when the cathetar came out, but as soon as I could they wanted me to try to go pee, I guess to make sure all that was still working? lol.
I shouldn't get going because it's not fair to first time Mom's, but leaking in the shower? Not looking forward to that again!!!
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@cookie_dough: I had a c section too. And I think I was able to shower the next day. I had bought a maternity nightgown but I preferred my maternity pants and tank top.
I think the worst part was the hospital bed - so uncomfortable!
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@cookie_dough: @Beebug: Okay I'll bite. Why the squeeze bottle? Just to clean things off so you don't have to wipe as much or something? And what is leaking in the shower?! lol My friends all tell me most of them peed themselves for like the whole first week so I'm mentally prepared for that. haha
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@Mae: I don't remember leaking in the shower. But who knows - I may have. It's a blur now!
I never ever peed on myself with the 1st pregnancy. Now during the 2nd, that's a different story. OMG - I thought I was going to die the 1st time it happened!
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@Mamasig: wait… post partum or during pregnancy.. have you peed yourself?! lol (laughing with you not at you I promise!)
I feel like I hear about people doing that all the time but I've not had any close calls yet. Although every time I have a big sneeze I do clench a little extra just in case haha.
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@Mae: never postpartum or last pregnancy. Just this one! And early on during my 1st trimester. I was thought WTF just happened?! Now I try to keep my bladder as empty as possible and clench when I sneeze or cough. But sadly, it happens! My sister says it still happens - her two kids are 11 and 14. My husband just laughs whenever I tell him.
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**Starts involuntarily kegal-ing**
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@Mamasig: @Mae: I'll jump in on this one - twice when I was still throwing up at about 19-20 weeks I may have *leaked* while hurling. Once at work, which I then cried about in the bathroom for 10 minutes and once at home. When I told DH he said "I'd still do ya right now if you want" Probably the best answer he could have said at a time when I felt so terrible and unattractive! Anyway - it hasn't happened since but I am scared to sneeze!!
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@mrsog: best answer ever.
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@mrsog: that's awesome! What a nice husband!
Now 30 just sort of seems like where I am at…. house husband pets baby… seems 30-ish to me… lol
We had hired a doula last time around (that we didn't end up really needing at all) and she was like "when I was in labour I found it more comfortable to just be naked". I was like "ummm, that sounds like the opposite of what would make me comfortable!" We definitely did not have the same views on "comfort" 
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