Hellobee Boards

After baby is born, who will be SAHM? WAHM? WOHM? If you will return to work, when? Who/where will be primary caregiver while you are at work?

I will be a WOHM as I will return to my classroom. The plan is to return mid Jan to start second semester with my kids and finish the school year. I would like to look into part time for the following school year.

In terms of childcare, we are super blessed right now--my mom has offered to take baby J Mon-Thurs, and DH's grandma will take Fridays. It's seriously a miracle for us, and we are over the moon to not have to pay for daycare on top of everything else right now. We will see what happens next school year, but at least we have Jan to early June covered.

So, along with nurseries and pediatricians and birth plans, is anyone thinking about the immediate postpartum plan yet? Will your mom come to help for a few days? Anyone else thinking about freezer meals or meal plans?

I'm trying to convince my SIL to let me fly her out here for 4-6 weeks to help with the older kids and around the house. It sounds like an extravagance (tickets from pretty much anywhere to the main airport are ~$500 a pop), but I'm not going to go to all this effort ahead of time to make breastfeeding work, only to sabotage myself with the stress of caring for a newborn, toddler, and a preschooler, not to mention the house, by myself in the first weeks following the birth. A dirty house especially stresses me out and what's a huge combatant of successful breastfeeding? Stress.
I'm also starting to plan freezer meals, but it's a little different this time with me and Tractor Girl being gluten-free- no noodles and no cream soups! I know I can get GF alternatives for those, but I'm thinking I want to use the bounty of my garden to get started- stuff like zucchini lasagna.
And I think I should be thinking about getting my Christmas shopping done since there's NO way that's happening right after Cricket comes!
Anyways, those are my thoughts for those first rather harrowing weeks. Anyone else? Yes, I'm a planner, lol.

@Mrs. J: I'm currently a semi-SAHM, I guess you could say. I wish I could be a full-time SAHM! I work very part-time at a job that I can completely make my own schedule at and work as little or as many hours I need to a week (I have to work a minimum of 3 hour shifts and 32 hrs/month per company policy). Anyway, having that type of schedule allows me to work when our cargivers are not working which are my parents and DH.

I should only be at the job a few more years (if not less) since I am starting nursing school next month...which from my understanding is a job in itself. Luckily I only really have to take my clinicals due to my prior BS degrees. While I will return to work 6-8 w pp, I will have to return to school the week after Thanksgiving. It's only for that week though and finals the next week before I can finish out my maternity leave...I'm telling myself it won't be *that* bad.

@FarmWifeGina: With DS, DH took the first 2 weeks off and then my mom took off the following week to help. She also lives very close (like 5 min away) and was here most of the time when she worked anyway. The plan is the same this time.

@FarmWifeGina: @MrsTiz: As for freezer meals I might not be making any this time! I made a bunch last time and we NEVER ate them! People made us some meals right after DS was born and by the time that died down I had to start eliminating foods from my diet. Everything I had made and froze contained either dairy, gluten or something else I couldn't eat. I'm not sure I want to take a chance and waste food again.

@MrsTiz: @Ash: I have a Pinterest board started, but not very much on there yet. I'm thinking I'll be pinning lots from Once A Month Mom- that's a great resource for freezer cooking and I live how they have different menus for different eating styles and dietary needs! They have a dairy free gluten free menu, @anbanan15:, as well as a paleo menu!

@MrsTiz: Um, nope. I wish. But I feel like there's nothing to buy with this being the 3rd baby. And not knowing the gender, I'm not even tempted to buy clothes. Meh. But I'm still really hoping for a new stroller. I feel kind of blah about the whole shopping whole shopping thing. I would love to be doing it, but there's no money for it, so why even think about it. But I dread going through my baby clothes. I really wish I knew the gender so I could get rid of a bunch!

I'll be going back to work shortly after Christmas break, depending on when he comes. My mom is going to keep him MWF and I'm thinking we'll probably do an in-home daycare for the other 2 days. We're extremely lucky that my mom doesn't work and she volunteered since she only lives 20 min away. DH's mom, I think, is understandably sad about this, so she's looking into early retirement and will probably retire around the time Nathan is one. I'm so glad they both have an interest in keeping the baby because since DH and I are both teachers (in a state where teacher pay is #48 in the country), full time daycare woul be a killer.

Because of the timing in the school year (Thanksgiving, Christmas breaks), when everyone comes to help out really depends on what week he decides to be born. My due dates/measurements are all over the place, so I really have no idea when to expect him, so in my head, the entire month of November is a possibility. DH will likely take a week off, then he'll get nearly a week for Thanksgiving. MIL works at a community college, so her schedule is almost always the same as ours. My mom will likely come help during the day to fill in the blanks for the first few weeks. Then in mid December, DH/MIL/my sister will be done with work/college until after New Years.

@NeekieRose: Yep I'm right there with you. My
mom has been buying lots of clothes, so I just pick up some at consignment stores whenever I'm there. He already has a tonnnn of clothes! I purposely didn't put any on the registry because I know people will likely buy cute tiny baby clothes anyway.

@NeekieRose: @lilteacherbee: where are you guys finding these consignment sales?!

I went to Kohls while I was supposed to be home resting, oops, and they were having a pretty good baby clothes sale, I ended up getting 4 or 5 different shirts..they are all 12 months or 18 months but I don't know how people can resist baby t-shirts. Seriously there is nothing more adorable hah, they were like $2 each and I may or may not be online shopping now.. I only registered for 1 or 2 outfits besides white onesies because people will buy what they want anyway and they were just too cute to pass!

@MrsTiz: I am in Northern Virginia and I just googled "northern virginia consignment sales" and a number of sites came up, including one the aggregated all of the ones coming up.

Here is a seemingly national site that does the same: http://www.kidsconsignmentsales.com/seasonalsales.htm. But it did not have all the sales on it for my area that I know there are, so I don't know how complete its listings are. But it might be a good place to start!

@sarah.clarisse: I too have concerns about my mom coming! I love her to death, but put the two of us in a house together for more than a day or two and there is guaranteed to be at least one blowup. She lives in Colorado (I'm in Virginia) and is planning on jumping on a plane pretty much as soon as the baby comes and spending a week or so here. I am really nervous about how this is going to go...which makes me feel like an ungrateful brat!

DH will probably take a couple days off right after the baby comes, but not a significant amount. None of the dads in his office take off more than that when babies are born. We are also kicking around the idea of going to CO for Christmas, and he would need to save his vacation time for that.

@sarah.clarisse: @NeekieRose: My mom and I have a similar relationship, which makes me a bit nervous knowing she'll be keeping LO part-time. As far as immediately after birth....well we can't handle more than 24 hours together without someone getting upset. I'm hoping that since she won't be staying with us, she can go back home (only 20 min away) if we need a break from one another. She just has a very strong personality and opinions and she gets very defensive if I say I'm going to do anything differently than what she did with us. It's going to be interesting, for sure.

@NeekieRose: I live in Northern VA too! Where are you at? I'm in Alexandria. I'd love to go to one of these consignment sales you have found!

I currently have a job that allows me to work at home full time, it was part of the reason I took it. I haven't figured out all of the maternity leave yet, but I do plan to take 3 months after the baby is born. So since I'm due at the end of November, I think I'll be off work until the beginning of March. I haven't told my boss yet because I have been having so many discussions about annual bonus $ and professional review stuff that I don't want any of this to factor in. I may be paranoid - but it just feels weird to tell him. Maybe it's compounded by the fact that I don't see him everyday.

My mom has offered to help out once I go back to work full-time, even though I'm home I still have to manage to get in 40 hours a week. Not sure how I'd do that and care for a baby, but I'm also willing to give it a go for a while.

I can echo some of the parent sentiments you all have. I love my mom, but I wonder what it will be like when we have a baby. I'm thankful for the offer of help, but sometimes family relationships can be stressful. I'm trying to be open-minded about it all.

@sarah.clarisse: Yep, I can completely relate. She's buying our crib, but its almost like its becoming a competition. Last night, she asked, "so what's DH's mom going to get you for the shower?" RIGHT after we were talking about the crib. I was like, seriously?

I'm a very laid back, chill kinda person EXCEPT with my mom. When I'm around her, it's like I feel I have to defend my choices and my feelings, so I turn into the strong personality as well. Ahhh!

@NeekieRose: Haha yep, since we're only 20 min apart, I can go visit and then hop in my car when I start getting annoyed. We've always been this way too. Thankfully, she's chilled out a bit since I was a teenager. THOSE were some fun times (like the time I was called a "teenage whore" because I slept with DH at 17. Well he's my one and only, and obviously we eventually got married. She waited until marriage and STILL tries to argue with me about it because she can't stand that I made a decision different than hers).

@lilteacherbee: @NeekieRose: I'm glad we'll have each other to vent to when we're all in the trenches dealing with this stuff! At least we'll be able to laugh & compare notes

@lilteacherbee: Ha! Wow....I think I have just blocked out my entire teens in relationship to my mother. Those were the dark ages for sure. I really, really wanted the baby to be a girl, the only thing that made me think a boy would be better was thinking about my teen years and my mom. But baby Reagan is going to be a perfect angel and we will always get along (hahahahah).

@sarah.clarisse: Yes, we will def have to compare notes and commiserate!

@NeekieRose: Thank you for the details on those consignment sales! I will definitely have to mark that one in September on my calendar.

@Ash: how was your Dr. apt this morning...

@MrsTiz: you for sure are !!! i am due the middle of December...